Fear of Flying
June 6, 2011 5:47 PM Subscribe
I'm a terrible flyer and have to take a 9-hour flight this evening. Does anyone have any advice, statistics, tips, etc. to put my mind at ease and make this flight more bearable?
I was not always like this. Even as a child and young adult flying never bothered me. In the past 10 or so years, however, I have become increasingly anxious about flying (which I do about 3-4 times a year) to the point where I feel almost physically ill. What bothers me the most is the turbulence. The only thing that seems to calm me down are maths and figures detailing aviation safety, as well as advice from frequent flyers. Thanks!
I was not always like this. Even as a child and young adult flying never bothered me. In the past 10 or so years, however, I have become increasingly anxious about flying (which I do about 3-4 times a year) to the point where I feel almost physically ill. What bothers me the most is the turbulence. The only thing that seems to calm me down are maths and figures detailing aviation safety, as well as advice from frequent flyers. Thanks!
I think of airliner turbulence as being gently rocked to sleep. Perfectly harmless, and rather enjoyable, as long as you have your seatbelt on.
[An experienced traveler shared this with me years ago, and I've found it to be a surprisingly useful reframing]
posted by Dimpy at 6:04 PM on June 6, 2011
[An experienced traveler shared this with me years ago, and I've found it to be a surprisingly useful reframing]
posted by Dimpy at 6:04 PM on June 6, 2011
Take xanax. If you don't have any, ask friends to see if they have any laying around.
posted by TheBones at 6:06 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by TheBones at 6:06 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
You are most likely to crash during take off or landing, so my feeling is that if I survive takeoff, I'm good for another 8.5 hours. By the time we get to landing, we're like four minutes from the ground and thus, survival, so it's pretty bearable.
Re turbulance: nobody dies of turbulance. In the event of a rocky flight, don't even bother to panic unless the flight crew does. It's literally a waste of your time.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:10 PM on June 6, 2011 [3 favorites]
Re turbulance: nobody dies of turbulance. In the event of a rocky flight, don't even bother to panic unless the flight crew does. It's literally a waste of your time.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:10 PM on June 6, 2011 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Cut out the noise of the engines with some good-quality noise-isolating headphones and your favorite music on ipad or mp3 (or just listen to the radio stations they will have in the arm of your seat), so that "I'm on a plane!" isn't constantly intruding on your tranquility.
Wear comfortable clothes, try to snag a blanket and do the best you can to make your space into a comfy hideaway.
Remind yourself that this flight probably runs several times a week, maybe several times a day, just like the train, subway or bus. Turbulence is just like traffic or a problem with the power on the subway; an inconvenience you have to put up with to get to your destination but otherwise usually not a big deal. You go over bumps on a bus, you screech to a stop on the subway, and you get turbulence on a plane.
posted by misha at 6:13 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
Wear comfortable clothes, try to snag a blanket and do the best you can to make your space into a comfy hideaway.
Remind yourself that this flight probably runs several times a week, maybe several times a day, just like the train, subway or bus. Turbulence is just like traffic or a problem with the power on the subway; an inconvenience you have to put up with to get to your destination but otherwise usually not a big deal. You go over bumps on a bus, you screech to a stop on the subway, and you get turbulence on a plane.
posted by misha at 6:13 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm not a nervous flyer, just a really really uncomfortable one. I don't get air-sickness, but I've taken to popping a dramamine before flights anyway. It prevents the low grade change-in-air-pressure headaches I used to get (I didn't even notice them before, but now that they're gone it's like heaven) and makes turbulence less noticeable.
posted by phunniemee at 6:14 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 6:14 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Seconding phunniemee: I often just dope myself with dramamine for long flights, mainly for the drowsiness effect -- nothing like sleeping through most of the hellish sardine-can.
posted by paultopia at 6:17 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by paultopia at 6:17 PM on June 6, 2011
Best answer: On average, 120 people die from air accidents each year in the US. That works out to a 0.00003% chance of dieing in a plane crash.
20,000 die from the flu each year.
posted by COD at 6:17 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
20,000 die from the flu each year.
posted by COD at 6:17 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
Lorazepam (aka Ativan) is even better if you can get it. Longer-acting than Xanax, so less goes a longer way. In the long term, my adult-onset flying phobia was basically eliminated by CBT plus having Ativan on hand.
posted by Maximian at 6:19 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Maximian at 6:19 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
I hate flying. I prepare for trips as if I were taking a 3-year old: every form of entertainment that I can squeeze in. Drawing materials, books, crosswords, music, movies, journals - anything on which I can focus my nervous energy. Games on my iPhone or laptop are particularly helpful. Clonopan helps. I've used drammamine in the past as well - as long as you don't have to be alert when you land. Good luck!
posted by bunderful at 6:29 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by bunderful at 6:29 PM on June 6, 2011
My sympathies. I was fearless about flying until I was about 20. These days, I'm very picky about airlines and their safety records, and I'd pay more to travel on planes operated by Singapore Airlines, Air New Zealand or Qantas.
I used to make several 8 to 18 hour plane journeys every year until recently. While Xanax is a godsend for my anxieties, I'd take an Ambien right after boarding, which would knock me out for most of of the flight - 5 to 7 hours out of 12, for example. It never feels like I sleep soundly on planes after taking Ambien, but I've missed quite a few meals - my seatmates claim that they've tried to shake or prod me awake unsuccessfully.
Finally, a friend of mine worked as a Singapore Airlines flight attendant for three years. I try to think about how she's never experienced any trouble even though she's been on more planes and long-distance flights than most of us.
Good luck!
posted by peripathetic at 6:31 PM on June 6, 2011
I used to make several 8 to 18 hour plane journeys every year until recently. While Xanax is a godsend for my anxieties, I'd take an Ambien right after boarding, which would knock me out for most of of the flight - 5 to 7 hours out of 12, for example. It never feels like I sleep soundly on planes after taking Ambien, but I've missed quite a few meals - my seatmates claim that they've tried to shake or prod me awake unsuccessfully.
Finally, a friend of mine worked as a Singapore Airlines flight attendant for three years. I try to think about how she's never experienced any trouble even though she's been on more planes and long-distance flights than most of us.
Good luck!
posted by peripathetic at 6:31 PM on June 6, 2011
After I got over my childhood fear of bridges (odd, I know), I picked up a nasty fear of flying. Like you, it was the turbulence and even the small non-turbulent motions that made flying awful.
I eventually beat my fear by reading a lot about how planes work. The biggest change in my fear occurred when I learned that you can pour tea during a barrel roll without spilling a drop (see this video). Although it's just simple physics, understanding that my body couldn't always tell whether I was upside down or not, made me a lot more calm about the physical sensations I associated with the dangers of flying. Sure, it may feel "dangerous", but, if my body is too dumb to know whether I'm right-side-up, it's surely too dumb to know what dangerous actually feels like.
Hope that same realization might help you as well. I've got six flights in the next two weeks and I don't feel even a little bit of stress about them.
posted by eisenkr at 6:38 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
I eventually beat my fear by reading a lot about how planes work. The biggest change in my fear occurred when I learned that you can pour tea during a barrel roll without spilling a drop (see this video). Although it's just simple physics, understanding that my body couldn't always tell whether I was upside down or not, made me a lot more calm about the physical sensations I associated with the dangers of flying. Sure, it may feel "dangerous", but, if my body is too dumb to know whether I'm right-side-up, it's surely too dumb to know what dangerous actually feels like.
Hope that same realization might help you as well. I've got six flights in the next two weeks and I don't feel even a little bit of stress about them.
posted by eisenkr at 6:38 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
I was also a pretty confident young flyer who got more anxious as I got older. Then my husband mentioned this (I'm quoting DarlingBri here):
You are most likely to crash during take off or landing, so my feeling is that if I survive takeoff, I'm good for another 8.5 hours.
And I always keep this in mind. Totally works for me.
Also: crosswords. Nothing too hard, but enough to keep your mind busy. Also: a really awesome book I've been waiting ages to read.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2011
You are most likely to crash during take off or landing, so my feeling is that if I survive takeoff, I'm good for another 8.5 hours.
And I always keep this in mind. Totally works for me.
Also: crosswords. Nothing too hard, but enough to keep your mind busy. Also: a really awesome book I've been waiting ages to read.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2011
This sounds ridiculous but choosing your airline to make sure you have good entertainment (i love virgin atlantic) can really pass the time and distract you. Also have a stiff drink and take some sort of cold/sleeping pill (make sure you know what works for you first so you don't have any weird reactions.) Also seconding the 'focus your nerves on take off and landing'- those are really the danger times and the above commenter really laid it out well.
posted by bquarters at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by bquarters at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2011
Just an aside, you don't need to illegally* obtain benzos (xanax, lorazepam) for something like this. Go to your doctor, or even a walk-in clinic, and just explain the situation. They hand them out like candy, and yours counts as an entirely legit reason.
* Not that I care, and a friend will probably cost less; but since you'll want one for the way back as well, do you really want to carry drugs through security without a script?
posted by pla at 6:46 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by pla at 6:46 PM on June 6, 2011
To add numbers to what DarlingBri said, a friend of mine who flies often told me that 99.9% of accidents happen within 90 seconds of take-off or landing. She watches her phone until 90 minutes have passed, and it helps her get through the worst part.
posted by hought20 at 7:06 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by hought20 at 7:06 PM on June 6, 2011
Doctors can prescribe short term meds for situational anxiety. I called mine & explained that I had to travel from the Atlantic seaboard to Japan. Don't remember what he gave me, but it worked great: Functional when awake, calm enough to sleep when desired, no OMG We're A Gazillion Feet in the Air feeling.
posted by Ys at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by Ys at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2011
Best answer: I'm all about the benzos, if they're available to you. I don't recommend alcohol though since it will just add to the nasty dehydration that contributes to jet lag.
I absolutely cannot sleep on an airplane. I'm convinced that it's my constant vigalance that keeps the damned thing in the air, or something else equally psychologically disturbing that I haven't figured out yet. So, for me it's drugs (get some Benadryl if all else fails, it will make you drowsy) and every concievable form of entertainment you can think of- a stack of trashy magazines, a really good book, splurge on the NYT, bring DVD's for the computer and a decent meal, like a really cool deli sandwich and a bag of munchies. . Prepare to entertain yourself. Nothing bad is going to happen on the plane. Since I'm going to be awake, I can promise you that.
Oh, yeah, snag a pillow and a blanket when you get on even if it's not on your seat. I know, it's bad manners, but do it anyhow. Take your shoes off EXCEPT when going to the bathroom (ick, ick, ick).
posted by puddinghead at 7:51 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
I absolutely cannot sleep on an airplane. I'm convinced that it's my constant vigalance that keeps the damned thing in the air, or something else equally psychologically disturbing that I haven't figured out yet. So, for me it's drugs (get some Benadryl if all else fails, it will make you drowsy) and every concievable form of entertainment you can think of- a stack of trashy magazines, a really good book, splurge on the NYT, bring DVD's for the computer and a decent meal, like a really cool deli sandwich and a bag of munchies. . Prepare to entertain yourself. Nothing bad is going to happen on the plane. Since I'm going to be awake, I can promise you that.
Oh, yeah, snag a pillow and a blanket when you get on even if it's not on your seat. I know, it's bad manners, but do it anyhow. Take your shoes off EXCEPT when going to the bathroom (ick, ick, ick).
posted by puddinghead at 7:51 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: This might sound doofily obvious, but it wasn't until recently that I consciously realized that no one wants the plane to crash, including and especially the pilots. Thinking of it that way helps me a surprising amount.
Nthing comfortable clothes and taking along as many forms of entertainment as you can. It also helps me to sit towards the middle of the plane, rather than the very front or very back.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:03 PM on June 6, 2011
Nthing comfortable clothes and taking along as many forms of entertainment as you can. It also helps me to sit towards the middle of the plane, rather than the very front or very back.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:03 PM on June 6, 2011
Best answer: If either leg of your flight is in the US, look it up on FlightAware. You can see all of the routes that same trip has made in the last two weeks, get a sense of how many turns need to be done, and most importantly what an everyday common event that is. I like having some sense of what the plane will typically do, since it's hard to judge intentionality as a passenger. Then, while you are at that site, go focus in on one of the airports and see just how many flights are themselves everyday common events. And then when you're on the plane and nervous, look at flight crews. They have been on countless flights and have a far better sense of what "normal" feels like than you or I do.
One of the other things that helped me with my light flying anxiety was to try to imagine the plane from behind, as if I were watching a movie. The actual scope of even fairly heavy turbulence is so tiny compared to the size of a plane, you couldn't even see most of it. The tilt that has to occur during turning used to bother me, and putting this in mind just made the whole thing click so it doesn't bother me.
posted by Schismatic at 8:27 PM on June 6, 2011
One of the other things that helped me with my light flying anxiety was to try to imagine the plane from behind, as if I were watching a movie. The actual scope of even fairly heavy turbulence is so tiny compared to the size of a plane, you couldn't even see most of it. The tilt that has to occur during turning used to bother me, and putting this in mind just made the whole thing click so it doesn't bother me.
posted by Schismatic at 8:27 PM on June 6, 2011
The only thing that seems to calm me down are maths and figures detailing aviation safety
Well, we know the stats: crossing the street, or taking a taxi ride to the airport, can kill us before an airplane will.
Actually, I don't like flying either. Many intelligent people don't, and it isn't because of the mortality risks. It is because flying is really annoying. Getting up early, being herded like a bovine, being groped by bored staff because some stupid bureaucrat has imaginary safety delusions, shoved into a cramped chaotic cabin, and then (this is the most annoying) being subject to really odd changes in air pressure in an uncomfortable seat.
We should just acknowledge that this is all just really annoying, and acknowledge that the risk factor is fairly insignificant.
posted by ovvl at 8:55 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, we know the stats: crossing the street, or taking a taxi ride to the airport, can kill us before an airplane will.
Actually, I don't like flying either. Many intelligent people don't, and it isn't because of the mortality risks. It is because flying is really annoying. Getting up early, being herded like a bovine, being groped by bored staff because some stupid bureaucrat has imaginary safety delusions, shoved into a cramped chaotic cabin, and then (this is the most annoying) being subject to really odd changes in air pressure in an uncomfortable seat.
We should just acknowledge that this is all just really annoying, and acknowledge that the risk factor is fairly insignificant.
posted by ovvl at 8:55 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
You're probably safely on your way by now but maybe this could help with future anxiety.
For most of my adult life I frequently flew overseas without a second thought. Then for some reason about four years ago I had a flight that hit bad turbulence that went on and on and on. That was it. The next week I needed to fly and could not get on the plane without Xanax. So I either took it or I didn't fly. This went on for three years.
Around a year ago, someone sent me this crosswind landing video. Music and text aside, (it's an ad for a Brazilian flight school) it blew my mind! I could barely watch it at first and had to hold back tears of fear several times. But it showed me that a) the engineering and testing involved in creating aircraft was far beyond my understanding or imagination, and b) that if a pilot can land an aircraft in circumstances like that, and the plane can take it, then I shouldn't spend another minute second-guessing the knowledge and expertise behind it all.
I also highly recommend talking to flight crew and looking at related video.
I'm happy to say that I've now had two flights that were medication-free, and largely anxiety-free too.
posted by lunaazul at 10:44 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
For most of my adult life I frequently flew overseas without a second thought. Then for some reason about four years ago I had a flight that hit bad turbulence that went on and on and on. That was it. The next week I needed to fly and could not get on the plane without Xanax. So I either took it or I didn't fly. This went on for three years.
Around a year ago, someone sent me this crosswind landing video. Music and text aside, (it's an ad for a Brazilian flight school) it blew my mind! I could barely watch it at first and had to hold back tears of fear several times. But it showed me that a) the engineering and testing involved in creating aircraft was far beyond my understanding or imagination, and b) that if a pilot can land an aircraft in circumstances like that, and the plane can take it, then I shouldn't spend another minute second-guessing the knowledge and expertise behind it all.
I also highly recommend talking to flight crew and looking at related video.
I'm happy to say that I've now had two flights that were medication-free, and largely anxiety-free too.
posted by lunaazul at 10:44 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
She watches her phone until 90 minutes have passed, and it helps her get through the worst part.
This is a technique that I use as well for takeoffs, although in my case I will sit back, close my eyes, and calmly count off 90 seconds in my head. It kind of doubles as a meditative strategy.
posted by jess at 1:53 AM on June 7, 2011
This is a technique that I use as well for takeoffs, although in my case I will sit back, close my eyes, and calmly count off 90 seconds in my head. It kind of doubles as a meditative strategy.
posted by jess at 1:53 AM on June 7, 2011
Drink lots of water---dehydration and the accompanying woozy feeling can feel like anxiety --and then your self talk "takes you there" to all your anxious thoughts again.
posted by vitabellosi at 3:36 AM on June 7, 2011
posted by vitabellosi at 3:36 AM on June 7, 2011
This video helped me be a lot less scared about turbulence. Look at how much the wings of the plane can bend before they break! It is really amazing, and when you look out the window at the wings flopping around, they never get even close to that.
Modern planes are kind of awesomely engineered to withstand ridiculous things.
posted by that girl at 5:19 AM on June 7, 2011
Modern planes are kind of awesomely engineered to withstand ridiculous things.
posted by that girl at 5:19 AM on June 7, 2011
One thing that I enjoy doing is listening to the pilots talk to each other over the radio. I'm pretty sure you can only do this on United, but I'm always reassured by how relaxed and polite the pilots and traffic control types are.
I guess I figure that if the people controlling the flight are relaxed about everything, what reason do I have to worry?
posted by elder18 at 8:43 AM on June 7, 2011
I guess I figure that if the people controlling the flight are relaxed about everything, what reason do I have to worry?
posted by elder18 at 8:43 AM on June 7, 2011
I'm a horribly flyer also, and what really helped me on the last trip was a tip I found on a blog I read: buy a bottle of water after you go through Security, drink a bit, and then set it on the tray in front of you or on the arm of the seat and watch the water during turbulence You can see how little the water moves around compared to how much it feels you're moving around, which calmed me a lot.
posted by telophase at 8:51 AM on June 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by telophase at 8:51 AM on June 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm a very nervous flyer
sounds silly but before a holiday I go on youtube and look up videos of my flight
takeoffs and landings of the cities I'm going to seems to help me
posted by SatansCabanaboy at 11:27 AM on June 8, 2011
sounds silly but before a holiday I go on youtube and look up videos of my flight
takeoffs and landings of the cities I'm going to seems to help me
posted by SatansCabanaboy at 11:27 AM on June 8, 2011
Get a seat near the window. I find I'm less freaked out during take off if I look out the window. I think it is because you can see how fast you are going which keeps your inner ear in balance.
Also, benzos + booze before you board.
posted by Gringos Without Borders at 3:14 PM on June 8, 2011
Also, benzos + booze before you board.
posted by Gringos Without Borders at 3:14 PM on June 8, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ORthey at 5:51 PM on June 6, 2011