Full Time Nanny: Advice?
May 31, 2011 2:12 PM Subscribe
I'm about to start a nanny share watching two kids under the age of two. HELP.
While I've been part-time nannying for the past two years, this will be my first full-time (50 hours a week) position.
I'm entering in to a nanny share with two families who don't know one another well.
I'll be at one house three days a week and the other twice a week.
There is a one year old girl and a three month old boy.
I won't have access to a car. I'm in a very urban area. I'll have the use of a double stroller, but only at one home.
Can you (nannies or moms, especially those with babies/toddlers very close in age) give me advice, tips or even encouraging words to help me prepare for what's in store? I'm looking for any kind of suggestions on how to maintain my sanity while also being a great care provider.
TIA!
While I've been part-time nannying for the past two years, this will be my first full-time (50 hours a week) position.
I'm entering in to a nanny share with two families who don't know one another well.
I'll be at one house three days a week and the other twice a week.
There is a one year old girl and a three month old boy.
I won't have access to a car. I'm in a very urban area. I'll have the use of a double stroller, but only at one home.
Can you (nannies or moms, especially those with babies/toddlers very close in age) give me advice, tips or even encouraging words to help me prepare for what's in store? I'm looking for any kind of suggestions on how to maintain my sanity while also being a great care provider.
TIA!
How's your back? You could put the older one in a back carrier and the younger one in a carriage and get around the neighborhood. Or put the little one in a front carrier and the big one in a stroller.
The hardest part will be when they both need your attention at the same time. Try to stay as relaxed as you can, they'll sense it if you get upset, and they'll get even more upset.
The younger one will probably nap more than the older one. Encourage her to entertain herself a bit while the baby sleeps. Are the homes big enough so that you can keep them in separate rooms? Also help her learn how to be nice to the baby, show her how to touch him gently, how to pat his tummy, or whatever. Good luck.
posted by mareli at 2:49 PM on May 31, 2011
The hardest part will be when they both need your attention at the same time. Try to stay as relaxed as you can, they'll sense it if you get upset, and they'll get even more upset.
The younger one will probably nap more than the older one. Encourage her to entertain herself a bit while the baby sleeps. Are the homes big enough so that you can keep them in separate rooms? Also help her learn how to be nice to the baby, show her how to touch him gently, how to pat his tummy, or whatever. Good luck.
posted by mareli at 2:49 PM on May 31, 2011
I've had two kids in a nanny share. It's not okay that only one house has a double stroller. Both houses should have roughly the same equipment, but a stroller is a must. For example : there is a fire in the house next door and you are ordered to evacuate. How do you do that without a double stroller? It's not just for your sanity so you can get outside, it's a necessary thing.
posted by ambrosia at 3:29 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by ambrosia at 3:29 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Wow - that's a lot of responsibility!
Routine is your friend. Make a routine and stick to it, or better yet, ask both moms what their current routine is and try to stay with those (if they sync up, that is...if not, find areas of common ground and build from there).
Ask a lot of questions - especially if you're at all unsure. And always give them a report when they return home (I did it verbally, but I know a lot of nannies did it in writing), noting important things like whether or not (and how much) they ate/napped, when diapers were changed, if they had major tantrums, etc. If you keep a record of everything, it saves a lot of hassle for everyone involved.
Get things in writing if you haven't yet. The salary, hours, extra responsibilities (like if they expect housework/errands/pet care/etc. on top of childcare), the rules each house has, emergency contacts, if you can eat their food or use their phone/stereo/TV during the kids' nap time, the recommended discipline strategies (more for the one year old), off-limit play areas, etc. Talk to them about vacation time or what to do if you're too sick to care for the children. Find out what happens if one child is sick and the parents stay home - would you get paid only for the one child?
When arguments arise between the families (and they will!), decide what role you'll play. I recommend staying out of it if you can. If you can't, and they want to put you in the middle of the argument, you should tell each parent firmly: "I am not on either side - and my interest is in making sure the children are well cared for. Please take x issue up with the other family."
Don't complain about one parent/child to the other family (not that you would, but this is a BIG potential problem area). Also, don't post anything about the kids (including pictures) on facebook/twitter. I'd be careful what you post on here if your username is at all traceable to your name IRL.
If things aren't working out, document what you've tried. Try hard to problem solve and keep an open line of communication with the families.
I realise that these are more general tips for nannies and they may be useless to you, as you've already got experience in the industry.
In terms of activities you can do with both:
-parks are definitely your friend (on non-stroller days, I like mareli's suggestion). Even a good walk breaks up the monotony.
-cartoons/videos are fine (unless specifically prohibited by the families) if they're used in moderation. For the sake of your mental health, you probably want to build in time for them so you get a break
-seconding mareli's suggestion to get the kids to play together
-set up play scenarios that include both kids - maybe building with giant legos (the older one can build, the younger can learn to grab different colour blocks), dress up, playing with stuffed animals, etc.
Good luck!
posted by guster4lovers at 3:34 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Routine is your friend. Make a routine and stick to it, or better yet, ask both moms what their current routine is and try to stay with those (if they sync up, that is...if not, find areas of common ground and build from there).
Ask a lot of questions - especially if you're at all unsure. And always give them a report when they return home (I did it verbally, but I know a lot of nannies did it in writing), noting important things like whether or not (and how much) they ate/napped, when diapers were changed, if they had major tantrums, etc. If you keep a record of everything, it saves a lot of hassle for everyone involved.
Get things in writing if you haven't yet. The salary, hours, extra responsibilities (like if they expect housework/errands/pet care/etc. on top of childcare), the rules each house has, emergency contacts, if you can eat their food or use their phone/stereo/TV during the kids' nap time, the recommended discipline strategies (more for the one year old), off-limit play areas, etc. Talk to them about vacation time or what to do if you're too sick to care for the children. Find out what happens if one child is sick and the parents stay home - would you get paid only for the one child?
When arguments arise between the families (and they will!), decide what role you'll play. I recommend staying out of it if you can. If you can't, and they want to put you in the middle of the argument, you should tell each parent firmly: "I am not on either side - and my interest is in making sure the children are well cared for. Please take x issue up with the other family."
Don't complain about one parent/child to the other family (not that you would, but this is a BIG potential problem area). Also, don't post anything about the kids (including pictures) on facebook/twitter. I'd be careful what you post on here if your username is at all traceable to your name IRL.
If things aren't working out, document what you've tried. Try hard to problem solve and keep an open line of communication with the families.
I realise that these are more general tips for nannies and they may be useless to you, as you've already got experience in the industry.
In terms of activities you can do with both:
-parks are definitely your friend (on non-stroller days, I like mareli's suggestion). Even a good walk breaks up the monotony.
-cartoons/videos are fine (unless specifically prohibited by the families) if they're used in moderation. For the sake of your mental health, you probably want to build in time for them so you get a break
-seconding mareli's suggestion to get the kids to play together
-set up play scenarios that include both kids - maybe building with giant legos (the older one can build, the younger can learn to grab different colour blocks), dress up, playing with stuffed animals, etc.
Good luck!
posted by guster4lovers at 3:34 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh, this is the question I have been waiting for! I was a nanny for over ten years and dealt with all kinds of situations. Mainly, though, I think this is what I would say:
1. Get a contract. With both families. Unless you live in New York, then domestic workers have NO rights. A contract can be as easy as a list of expectations each family has, as well as your expectations (they give you 24 hours notice for cancellations, you get a two-week notice for termination unless there is a child-endangerment issue, you get two weeks of vacation,if the families come home early, you still get paid for a full day, etc.). You can send me an email if you want a sample contract. These don't necessarily hold up in court, but they do give all the expectations out front. If I only said one thing, it would be to do this. If not for yourself, then do it to give domestic workers everywhere more prominence and more rights.
2. Talk to each family about parenting styles and expectations on how to handle things. It is likely they will be similar, but you should be sure before you start. If one family wants you to make sure the kids help with clean up and the other doesn't care, then make it clear that you'll honor the wishes of the family that wants clean up (it's hard to enforce a non-rule). Also discuss food. If one kid is coming with chips and cookies and the other is all vegan, you are courting disaster (though with kids that small, you might be okay, but they will grow up eventually). Make sure that kind of stuff is figured out early. And have sit-downs with both families or both primary caregivers about every six weeks to evaluate.
3. With kids that young (my favorite ages!), you are in for a lot of fun and a lot of boredom. Be sure you are giving attention to both (and they'll grow up faster than you think) -- while Baby A is doing tummy time, you can play on the floor nearby with Baby B. And then you can give Baby B a challenging activity while you play with Baby A. Singing is good -- it is fun for both ages. Reading. Park time. Dancing around like a madman. Etc.
4. Seconding the routine thing. If you can, have the kids on similar sleep schedules (which I know is not your call).
5. Use the Johnny Jump Up or the carrier to hold one baby while you attend to the other. the hardest part sometimes is just having two screaming kids at the same time. Try to figure out how you can soothe them without having to try and hold both. Don't be afraid of putting one down to attend to one and then attending to the other.
Oh man, good luck.
posted by mrfuga0 at 5:21 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
1. Get a contract. With both families. Unless you live in New York, then domestic workers have NO rights. A contract can be as easy as a list of expectations each family has, as well as your expectations (they give you 24 hours notice for cancellations, you get a two-week notice for termination unless there is a child-endangerment issue, you get two weeks of vacation,if the families come home early, you still get paid for a full day, etc.). You can send me an email if you want a sample contract. These don't necessarily hold up in court, but they do give all the expectations out front. If I only said one thing, it would be to do this. If not for yourself, then do it to give domestic workers everywhere more prominence and more rights.
2. Talk to each family about parenting styles and expectations on how to handle things. It is likely they will be similar, but you should be sure before you start. If one family wants you to make sure the kids help with clean up and the other doesn't care, then make it clear that you'll honor the wishes of the family that wants clean up (it's hard to enforce a non-rule). Also discuss food. If one kid is coming with chips and cookies and the other is all vegan, you are courting disaster (though with kids that small, you might be okay, but they will grow up eventually). Make sure that kind of stuff is figured out early. And have sit-downs with both families or both primary caregivers about every six weeks to evaluate.
3. With kids that young (my favorite ages!), you are in for a lot of fun and a lot of boredom. Be sure you are giving attention to both (and they'll grow up faster than you think) -- while Baby A is doing tummy time, you can play on the floor nearby with Baby B. And then you can give Baby B a challenging activity while you play with Baby A. Singing is good -- it is fun for both ages. Reading. Park time. Dancing around like a madman. Etc.
4. Seconding the routine thing. If you can, have the kids on similar sleep schedules (which I know is not your call).
5. Use the Johnny Jump Up or the carrier to hold one baby while you attend to the other. the hardest part sometimes is just having two screaming kids at the same time. Try to figure out how you can soothe them without having to try and hold both. Don't be afraid of putting one down to attend to one and then attending to the other.
Oh man, good luck.
posted by mrfuga0 at 5:21 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
It should be pretty easy for house #2 to come up with a double stroller. I bought one off Craigslist for 20 bucks last month.
In terms of reporting, I like the TotalBaby iPhone app, which allows you to track multiple babies at the same time and then email reports to the parents.
posted by bq at 5:49 PM on May 31, 2011
In terms of reporting, I like the TotalBaby iPhone app, which allows you to track multiple babies at the same time and then email reports to the parents.
posted by bq at 5:49 PM on May 31, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
The most memorable kerfuffle was the summer I spent watching two tween-age BFFs and their little brothers. The boys were young enough that the only problem they had was having to share the firetruck. The girls, though--ugh! They were just at the age when the cattiness starts, and they were either inseparable best friend or at each other's throats at the drop of a hat.
One of the girl's mom's refused to believe that her daughter could ever say such nasty things to someone else, and was unhappy with what a "mean babysitter" I was. No, sorry, if your ten year old calls another ten year old a fat bitch, she doesn't get to watch any TV that day. The other mom was appalled at her daughter's behavior and thought I wasn't being strict enough.
Now, I can't imagine that you'll have the same problems with babies, but the advice is the same. Make sure that you know exactly how both sets of parents want you to act in a given situation. If they have similar parenting styles, that's great. But if one of them is going to completely freak out when you feed her kid the other kid's generic-brand baby food instead of the organic stuff, that's something you want to know about now.
I'm sure you'll do fine. My general impression is that people who worry that they're going to be able to do a job well are the ones who care enough to actually do the job well. Good luck!
posted by phunniemee at 2:29 PM on May 31, 2011