How can I get some friction inside my very wet girlfriend?
May 29, 2011 10:21 PM   Subscribe

My girlfriend gets very wet during sex, so that there's no friction for my penis. This makes it hard for me to orgasm. Any techniques to solve this issue?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. Lately, foreplay gets her so wet that I can't feel any friction when I'm inside her. I also wear a condom when we do it.

Every other aspect of our sex life is great. Also, we're both plus sized people, so any positions requiring ballet dancer flexibility likely won't work.

posted by stedman15 to Human Relations (17 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

Best answer: This may seem incredibly counter-intuitive, but have you been putting a little lube on your penis/inside the condom? Even if the condom is prelubed, adding a little lube seems to increase sensation for most men; you'll get a little more friction from the condom moving.

The jockey (NSFW, animated 3D cartoon people demonstrating sex positions) position (especially with the receptive partner's legs together) seems to help with this in my experience.
posted by lemonadeheretic at 10:33 PM on May 29, 2011

Best answer: as a too wet type of gal, i don't think the lube inside the condom will help, but it won't hurt to try. honestly, finding a way to go off the condom will help the most. beyond that - wipe her down before you start having sex and you might have to pause to wipe her down during. there are ways to make it hot and sexy, basically, just refuse to see it as anything besides "i'm/she's so turned on we have to pause for clean-up!" exercising the kegals wouldn't hurt either (for both of you, really, but specifically her).

i'm not every woman and make sure to have lots of conversations with your woman about this before you go and try it - but, i actually sometimes prefer zero foreplay sex so there's this super intense friction moment before the flood gates open.
posted by nadawi at 10:49 PM on May 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

Best answer: More than a drop, and the condom might come off, depending on the condom... and you. I could squirt a mL into a ONE Pleasure Dome and it'd still have a deathgrip on the base of my penis but didn't do anything good.

I used to have a similar problem with an ex - she's naturally very totally soaking wet, but Okomoto Crown condoms (even without the drop of lube) made a huge difference.

The thinness transferred her heat and I could feel her warmth as I gradually increased it if I was doing "it right," and the feedback helped me make her feel hotter (which correlated with her enjoyment and warmth) which helped me feel better in the act which...
posted by porpoise at 11:02 PM on May 29, 2011

Best answer: What nadawi says matches my experience (including ditching the condoms, but that's not always an option). Keep a towel handy and do mid-event wipe-downs. And see which position gets you more friction -- it's usually "face down, ass up" that has the most friction, but everyone is built different, so YMMV. Other high-friction positions are from behind with her legs together, or with her legs straight up in the air (that one is easiest if her ass is right at the edge of the bed, so that you are standing or kneeling on the floor and she is on the bed).

Really, it's a good problem to have, but in the moment it can be a pain to deal with.
posted by Forktine at 11:07 PM on May 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I am a very wet gal. The ex didn't like it, we had the same problem you are having now. We used the "wipe down" method. Honestly, i think it was a fit issue, his penis was pretty slender, hence not much friction. Any position with her legs together should help.

My current man and i have no issues, he loves how wet I get. He does posses more girth.

Another thought: try learning to masturbate with a really light touch. If you need major friction to get off, this may teach you to be more sensitive.
As mentioned above, she should do kegals...she can actually tighten herself up for you during sex (probably not the whole time, but it should help create more friction).
posted by virginia_clemm at 11:10 PM on May 29, 2011

Worth remembering that you don't always have to do lots of foreplay then penetration. A lot of 'love manuals' go on like it's a serious imposition if you don't go down on a girl for 4 hours before you dare to enter her, but in practise a lot of women like being penetrated early on then you can always do other stuff after.
posted by Not Supplied at 11:26 PM on May 29, 2011

You could try some variation of the coital alignment position, which replaces thrusting with close-up grinding, creating a different kind of friction.
posted by tomcooke at 12:18 AM on May 30, 2011

I am a very wet lady as well. BF is rather larger than average, and still it became an issue. what we did:

Me: face down, legs together. Him: on top of me, face down, keeping my legs together with his. I wasn't sure about it the first time, but the next 100 times were pretty awesome!
posted by deep thought sunstar at 12:54 AM on May 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

PIV till she is satisfied. Oral till you are done. Yeah legs together can work, but eventually that gets super wet as well.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:56 AM on May 30, 2011

If you have the length of wiener and reach of arm to make it feasible, either one of you could get finger and thumb around the base to "jerk you off" while you are fucking. It is excellent.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:10 AM on May 30, 2011

Try different condoms? Some definitely feel thinner than others and give me more sensation with my girlfriend. As far as I've found, Durex tends to make the ones that give me the most sensation.
posted by fso at 5:02 AM on May 30, 2011

Allergy meds!

My girl gets real wet too, and she's less so when on antihistamines. Which makes sense because antihistamines oppose the action of histamines, resulting in decreased vascular permability.
posted by Mercaptan at 5:27 AM on May 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Natural lubrication is a good thing--I'm sure antihistamines could cut down on it, but I don't think I'd go that way myself.

Your girlfriend could also try doing more Kegels so that she can use her muscles to tighten up around you to create more friction. Bonus: Kegels are good for her anyway.
posted by misha at 7:37 AM on May 30, 2011

This is an issue for me, too--not only does it reduce friction for my partner, it also leads to the penis slipping out during intercourse, even with my more well-endowed partner. Wiping away the excess wetness helps, and so does putting me on top, which allows him to penetrate me more deeply and feel my vaginal muscle contractions better, as well as mostly solves the slipping out problem. (It's also pretty much a guaranteed orgasm or three for me, but that's not necessarily going to be true for other women.)

There are variations of woman-on-top, so experiment to find the one that works best for both of you. Some people find that having her sit all the way upright works better, others prefer it if she leans forward, and there's also Reverse Cowgirl, where she straddles you facing your feet rather than your head. Have fun experimenting.

The face-down legs-together position deep thought sunstar mentions also works great for me and my partner, as does me-face-up, legs-together.

And, y'know, if it turns out that none of this ends up working well for you, you can talk about other ways to get you off.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:45 AM on May 30, 2011

Different condom material? The non latex ones might not get so slick.

Counter-intuitively, maybe try a dab of the jelly types of lubricants.
posted by gjc at 5:43 PM on May 30, 2011

Put a pillow under her butt - that changes the angle.
posted by chrisinseoul at 7:31 PM on May 30, 2011

Child sized benadryl a few hours before hand will work magic
posted by Blasdelb at 10:45 AM on May 31, 2011

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