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March 17, 2011 1:34 PM   Subscribe

How does one break in a custom-fitted bra?

I am, sadly, one of the chesty gals that suffers from slim shoulders with large breasts. Bras and I have been wary friends at best and it wasn't until my wedding two years ago that I discovered the joy of being properly measured and buying a pair of bras that didn't give me Quad-Boob, Underboob or Sideboob Spillage. I was so happy I could've wept.

Of course, really good bras that properly fit are expensive as hell, so I bought some more so-so ones alongside the two good ones. I recently went home to visit my folks and my mom took me bra-shopping. We found a place that does things the correct way: measuring your bust and etc., making you try on a bajillion bras until your salesperson solicits your opinion on style/fit and of course, using their expertise to steer you away from something that might not be practical (even if it's pretty). I bought two more good bras there, but seriously, one of them is so uncomfortable I want to cry. It looks good, it supports The Girls but dammit, it digs into my ribcage and makes my left shoulder feel tingly. Today was the second time I've worn it and I took it off to wear a more comfortable one because it hurt so bad.

My question is: is this normal? If so, how does one make a really good bra comfy? I don't recall having this problem with two nice ones I purchased before my wedding.

Ladies of Hive Mind, please help!
posted by Kitteh to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (17 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
I don't think this is normal. I've never had a break-in period with a bra; and I'm almost certain they should be comfortable on the first wear. I just finally did the whole bra-fitting with knowledgeable person a year or so ago, but all that I've bought since in my correct size have felt right immediately.
posted by JenMarie at 1:42 PM on March 17, 2011 [5 favorites]


In my experience (as another one of the chesty gals), this is not normal, and bras don't require "breaking in". It sounds like you've gotten an ill-fitting bra, which has happened to me despite hours of fittings, measurements, etc. The good news is, the more expensive they are, the easier it seems to be to return them. So that might be your next step...
posted by smilingtiger at 1:43 PM on March 17, 2011


The bras that dig into my ribs don't get better.

Were the straps adjusted at the store? the ribs and the tingly arm make me think of overly-tight straps. Maybe. But generally I'd say it's a dud and return it.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 1:44 PM on March 17, 2011


so uncomfortable I want to cry is pretty much the definition of "doesn't fit," even if it was "fitted." Return it.
posted by sageleaf at 1:45 PM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


is this normal?

No. Bras aren't made of leather ( it's not made of leather, is it? :P ) and don't need to be broken in. It should fit like a dream the first time you put it on. Return it and get another one that makes you cry for the good reasons and not the bad.
posted by iconomy at 1:47 PM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


For me, a bra has to feel too small around the rib cage when I first buy it, even on the loosest fastening. But if you've worn it a couple of times and it still hurts, there's something wrong -- maybe the cut of that bra. Sometimes I do get a bad bra, even at an expensive store where I'm assisted by an 'expert.'

You might try a bra extender -- you can buy one or make one from an old or useless bra.

I suggest trying different bras of the same brand as the ones you already like.
posted by wryly at 1:52 PM on March 17, 2011


The only bras that give me the support I need pinch around my ribcage. I imagine that if the ribcage band were padded inside, instead of just that thin elastic, it wouldn't dig. I alternate between bras that are tight enough around the ribcage that they pinch but don't hurt my shoulders so much, and bras that are more comfortable around the ribcage but therefore put more weight on my shoulders. That way I can kind of spread around the pain, and the grooves being marked into my skin. Sigh.
posted by thebazilist at 2:12 PM on March 17, 2011


BTW, did you know that most manufacturers design bras on a 34B model, and then they "extrapolate" to make larger sizes? So they don't put it on a larger woman and say "Hmm, with a 32G versus a 38A there is more stress on this piece of fabric so we will make these changes." They just assume that at some point on the size chart women will start needing thicker straps and a third hook.
posted by thebazilist at 2:15 PM on March 17, 2011


I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who's been properly fitted and plunked down a lot of money for a bra that's torture to wear. I hear all the good stories about getting fitted and finally being comfortable, but it has yet to happen to me, too. (And I've gone to Nordstrom and a couple local specialty stores, each more than once.) It would look good in the fitting room, but once I got them home, it would poke or pinch or sag or look weird under clothes.
I've started ordering 4 or 5 bras at a time online and wearing them each for a whole day (tags on) so I can see how it feels after 8 hours. I then return the ones that don't work. I keep a log of what sizes and styles I've tried and what worked.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 2:26 PM on March 17, 2011


Return it. Bras are not like shoes -- you should feel supported and comfortable and that you are "carrying yourself" well, but you shouldn't feel "bra". And by the way, good bra-fitters often can steer you to tailors who can make adjustments for those ladies for whom off-the-shelf doesn't work. Pinching, digging, tight, grooves, spreading the pain -- unnecessary. Spend less on something else, and get fitted and tailored if necessary!
posted by thinkpiece at 2:38 PM on March 17, 2011


I buy custom-fitted bras, too, at Secrets from Your Sister - the fitter told me that sometimes people break in a bra by wrapping it around a chair, doing up the clasp, and leaving it on the chair overnight. Sometimes new bras can feel tight and uncomfortable because women are not used to actually feeling support.
posted by analog at 2:46 PM on March 17, 2011


Fortunately I no longer have to deal with this thanks to a breast reduction, but I feel (and have felt) your pain. I was a 32G so bra shopping was no walk in the park for me. You do not need an expert to find a properly fitting bra, you can do it yourself and it's easy. Ukdanae covered this before in a previous askme and she knows her stuff. I don't think the pain you're feeling is normal and it sounds like you have a ill-fitting bra. The band around your back should be snug, but it shouldn't be cutting off circulation.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:28 PM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


MaryDellamorte is right: Seek out and follow Ukdanae's advice. What happens to your support factor if you take the straps away? Is your bra riding up too high?
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:35 PM on March 17, 2011


Response by poster: If I take the straps away, the bra supports me fine, but it's murder digging in right below the breasts.

I am sorry if I wasn't clear before: I bought these bras in the States and I live in Canada. There was no original packaging to return with them but the store's website says they will do return/exchange within 60 days of purchase. Again, the bra fits and supports; it's just unbelievably uncomfortable. When I bought custom-fitted bras before in Atlanta, I didn't have this problem.
posted by Kitteh at 5:00 PM on March 17, 2011


Sounds like your band size is too small. If you want to do an exchange, and you go for a bigger band size, you need to order a smaller cup size to keep the same volume of cup. For instance, if your current bra size is a 32F, then you would order a 34E to keep the same cup volume.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:40 PM on March 17, 2011


From the department of "Please don't tell the nice woman who sold me those great bras": Three of the four were great fits. The fourth has vertical stays (?) that fall directly under my armpits. The tops of the stays dug into the top of my ribcage something fierce (like big red indentations that didn't fade), BUT the bra was otherwise perfect. So I whipped out my Leatherman, grabbed the stay tops with the pliers, and bent the stays away from my ribcage just enough to alleviate the poking. Low-tech, but it worked.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:39 PM on March 19, 2011


This very question is the reason why I'm so brand loyal in lingerie (although even then you're not guaranteed) - it's definitely normal for one bra in the same size as usual to feel super-uncomfortable. I've had £100 bras fail me even more than £20 bras, it's infuriating.

I know the pain you're describing, and basically yeah, it's not a good fit, even if it is supporting the girls. I usually wear a bra two or three times to let it stretch and settle, but if you're still in agony, I say just return it (or eBay, you'd be surprised!) Often i think it's to do with the fabric - bras with a good quality powermesh are comfy on me, but I get restricted in less mesh-y bras. Also changing from full cup to something like balconette may cause comfort issues, or for me, even bridge width (i'm comforable in a wider bridge) When I find a bra I like, I tend to buy a lot of them, and stay loyal to that brand and shape.

It's also worth keeping in mind manufacturing families - Fantasie, Freya, Fauve, and Elomi are all made by Eveden, so you can expect a semi-consistent set of patterns across the family. Eveden is British, and i think has patterns more accommodating for my plus size + big boob shape. If you're more slim with big boobs, you might find continental European labels like Marie Jo and Prima Donna fit you better.

I hope that helps, feel free to list the brands of what did and didn't work and I can try to help!
posted by ukdanae at 6:02 PM on March 19, 2011


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