Cat Scratch Fever
March 12, 2011 5:37 PM Subscribe
We took in a second cat that suddenly needed a home to our heretofore single cat household. In spite of following all the suggestions made by vets and pet experts, things aren't going quite as well as we would like. How do we know when it's time to make arrangements so that both of these cats can live in comfortable, stress free environments?
We have had cat #1 (Female) for about 6 years. She's always lived alone. in December, we heard about another cat (male, 7 years old) that needed a home. We decided, after much hemming and hawing, to try out introducing cat #2 to our apartment because he was in a really terrible situation where he was essentially being neglected, and we have provided him some much needed stability.
We did everything that we were told to do - kept them in separate rooms for the first 7 days or so, made sure they could smell each other, gradually moved them to a situation so they could see each other but were physically separated for a week, and then, finally, let them both roam the house freely.
Cat #2 is very passive - he doesn't growl, he doesn't attack, and he has made it clear to Cat #1 that she runs the show. Still, whenever they're close to one another, Cat #1 starts hissing and growling, occasionally batting at #2 (though these fights have never really escalated. He usually just runs away.)
On top of this, #1, who was always a little more aloof and not so much a lap cat, has become pretty anti-social, spending a lot the day under the bed or in the closet. As such, #2, who is a lot more affectionate, has been spending a lot of time sleeping with us and hanging out around us, which in turn makes #1 less likely to seek us out.
As cute and friendly as #2 is, #1 is our baby, and if it comes down to deciding between the two, she wins. We're wrapping up our third month in this situation, and while we never expected them to be best friends, the relationship is not improving at all.
I have been prepared, if they do not get along after a while, to try and find a safe, happy, permanent home for #2 if I am clear that this situation will not improve.
I am just hoping to draw on the wisdom of MeFi's many cat owners to ask : When do you know it's time? How long should I wait for this relationship to reach an equilibrium where both cats, if not friends, are not outwardly hostile toward one another? Is there anything else I can do to improve their relationship?
Thanks in advance.
We have had cat #1 (Female) for about 6 years. She's always lived alone. in December, we heard about another cat (male, 7 years old) that needed a home. We decided, after much hemming and hawing, to try out introducing cat #2 to our apartment because he was in a really terrible situation where he was essentially being neglected, and we have provided him some much needed stability.
We did everything that we were told to do - kept them in separate rooms for the first 7 days or so, made sure they could smell each other, gradually moved them to a situation so they could see each other but were physically separated for a week, and then, finally, let them both roam the house freely.
Cat #2 is very passive - he doesn't growl, he doesn't attack, and he has made it clear to Cat #1 that she runs the show. Still, whenever they're close to one another, Cat #1 starts hissing and growling, occasionally batting at #2 (though these fights have never really escalated. He usually just runs away.)
On top of this, #1, who was always a little more aloof and not so much a lap cat, has become pretty anti-social, spending a lot the day under the bed or in the closet. As such, #2, who is a lot more affectionate, has been spending a lot of time sleeping with us and hanging out around us, which in turn makes #1 less likely to seek us out.
As cute and friendly as #2 is, #1 is our baby, and if it comes down to deciding between the two, she wins. We're wrapping up our third month in this situation, and while we never expected them to be best friends, the relationship is not improving at all.
I have been prepared, if they do not get along after a while, to try and find a safe, happy, permanent home for #2 if I am clear that this situation will not improve.
I am just hoping to draw on the wisdom of MeFi's many cat owners to ask : When do you know it's time? How long should I wait for this relationship to reach an equilibrium where both cats, if not friends, are not outwardly hostile toward one another? Is there anything else I can do to improve their relationship?
Thanks in advance.
I would try the Feliway diffusers along with a vet visit for some medication for Cat #1's anxiety. If the medication mellows her out, you may see a marked improvement in her behavior.
posted by crankylex at 6:26 PM on March 12, 2011
posted by crankylex at 6:26 PM on March 12, 2011
It took 3-6 months for my older cat to settle down in a similar situation. It definitely helped that the little one got less hyper as she got older. They still sort of loathe one another, but it's fairly cordial.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:50 PM on March 12, 2011
posted by restless_nomad at 9:50 PM on March 12, 2011
When I moved into my boyfrriend's house with my three cats, he had one cat. His one cat took months to warm up to two of mine. It's been a year and he's only beginning to tolerate the third cat. It's still very early on to start deciding about rehoming your second cat and the advice for Feliway and anti-anxiety meds are spot on.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:42 PM on March 12, 2011
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:42 PM on March 12, 2011
I've attempted to write an answer to this about 4 times now. I've introduced plenty of cats, but I doubt all my experiences save one really has any relevance to you.
Long story short, we took in a sad guy way back. For years I thought he was sad/shy by nature, but he really blossomed once the other two (alpha) cats passed away.
Your guy might need to be in a safe single kitty household to have a great life.
I hear great things about felliway but have never used it. FWIW, I'm against meds.
With my past experience as a guide, if things did not improve for the shy guy by month 6, that's when I would start seriously looking to re-home him somewhere more comfortable. At month 3, I think you are still in the zone for things to work out.
YMMV.
posted by jbenben at 11:32 PM on March 12, 2011
Long story short, we took in a sad guy way back. For years I thought he was sad/shy by nature, but he really blossomed once the other two (alpha) cats passed away.
Your guy might need to be in a safe single kitty household to have a great life.
I hear great things about felliway but have never used it. FWIW, I'm against meds.
With my past experience as a guide, if things did not improve for the shy guy by month 6, that's when I would start seriously looking to re-home him somewhere more comfortable. At month 3, I think you are still in the zone for things to work out.
YMMV.
posted by jbenben at 11:32 PM on March 12, 2011
I hate to be a downer on the Feliway, but after a move we tried the diffuser and the spray for our cats (one was having some anxiety problems). We saw no results.
It's not that costly, though, so I guess it can't hurt to try.
posted by Kronur at 5:11 AM on March 13, 2011
It's not that costly, though, so I guess it can't hurt to try.
posted by Kronur at 5:11 AM on March 13, 2011
Are you pro-actively seeking out the shy original cat and making sure she gets predictable quality time? For example if you make a point of finding her and putting her on your lap during evening sit down and relax time, and/or finding her and bringing her to bed and cuddling her at bedtime this can help her with the stress. So can finding special new games to play with her like throw-the-kitty-crunchies or Owner-puts-you-up-high-to-explore or tug-of-war.
I had one cat who had shrimp as a special treat and she knew and the other cats knew that the shrimp was never doled out to anyone but her. Again it made the cat feel special and secure and dominant. I'd call her and she would come and I let her in the bedroom and the other cats would watch her eat the treat through a screen so they couldn't crowd her at all.
I have found that overwhelming a cat's aloofness by major grooming does good things for its attachment. So you can turn her into a happier cat by regularly combing, rooting around in her ears, checking her tummy meticulously for non-existent fleas, taking the edge of a damp washcloth to her butt and clipping her claws. They tend to wriggle away affronted at first but the lingering effect is a regression to kittenhood, and kittens are better at adapting to stranger cats.
Is the apartment small and can she get away from him while still following her regular pursuits? I never had any problem combining multiple cats but I never had multiple cats without a large two or three story home.
Is there some way you can encourage positive interactions between them? Do they both like catnip? A couple of my cats have become very close friends due to living in inadequately heated dwellings. The combination of having to get close in order to bliss out next to the gas heater, and needing body heat in cold snaps means that they got used to proximity and there was an advantage to forming a sleep-snuggle pile. It was always hilarious to see the friendly one stealthing up to the aloof one and easing oh so carefully close enough to share body heat without waking up the sleeping lion. It was also very funny to see the aloof one eventually awake with a start and demand, "Wtf are you doing here!?" in kitty language.
Is there some way you can set it up so she regularly beats him up and gets him to flee without traumatizing him? If she were certain of her dominance it would probably make her less stressed. Some squabbling is good for them once you are sure that nobody is actually getting their eyes clawed out. Worst enemies can turn into best friends and one cat's efforts to kill another cat can turn into their daily race around the apartment knocking dishes off the table, books off the shelf and papers off the desk.
Also when you take her to the vet for her regular shots get it checked out that she doesn't have any chronic conditions. She could be suffering from bad teeth or ingrown claws or something that wasn't apparent when she was an only cat but which make it overwhelming to deal with another cat when she doesn't feel up to defending her turf.
You might also consider doing a major household territory shake up, ranging from moving all the furniture so they have to find new favorite sleeping spots to actually moving so that the territory is new to both of them. Obviously the last suggestion might be traumatic if the female cat is highly sensitive and has never moved. But one of the classic ways of getting a new room mate to integrate is to rearrange everything so that there is no longer the one and only right place to put the forks and spoons and to plug in the kettle. It might also work for your cats.
posted by Jane the Brown at 5:31 AM on March 13, 2011
I had one cat who had shrimp as a special treat and she knew and the other cats knew that the shrimp was never doled out to anyone but her. Again it made the cat feel special and secure and dominant. I'd call her and she would come and I let her in the bedroom and the other cats would watch her eat the treat through a screen so they couldn't crowd her at all.
I have found that overwhelming a cat's aloofness by major grooming does good things for its attachment. So you can turn her into a happier cat by regularly combing, rooting around in her ears, checking her tummy meticulously for non-existent fleas, taking the edge of a damp washcloth to her butt and clipping her claws. They tend to wriggle away affronted at first but the lingering effect is a regression to kittenhood, and kittens are better at adapting to stranger cats.
Is the apartment small and can she get away from him while still following her regular pursuits? I never had any problem combining multiple cats but I never had multiple cats without a large two or three story home.
Is there some way you can encourage positive interactions between them? Do they both like catnip? A couple of my cats have become very close friends due to living in inadequately heated dwellings. The combination of having to get close in order to bliss out next to the gas heater, and needing body heat in cold snaps means that they got used to proximity and there was an advantage to forming a sleep-snuggle pile. It was always hilarious to see the friendly one stealthing up to the aloof one and easing oh so carefully close enough to share body heat without waking up the sleeping lion. It was also very funny to see the aloof one eventually awake with a start and demand, "Wtf are you doing here!?" in kitty language.
Is there some way you can set it up so she regularly beats him up and gets him to flee without traumatizing him? If she were certain of her dominance it would probably make her less stressed. Some squabbling is good for them once you are sure that nobody is actually getting their eyes clawed out. Worst enemies can turn into best friends and one cat's efforts to kill another cat can turn into their daily race around the apartment knocking dishes off the table, books off the shelf and papers off the desk.
Also when you take her to the vet for her regular shots get it checked out that she doesn't have any chronic conditions. She could be suffering from bad teeth or ingrown claws or something that wasn't apparent when she was an only cat but which make it overwhelming to deal with another cat when she doesn't feel up to defending her turf.
You might also consider doing a major household territory shake up, ranging from moving all the furniture so they have to find new favorite sleeping spots to actually moving so that the territory is new to both of them. Obviously the last suggestion might be traumatic if the female cat is highly sensitive and has never moved. But one of the classic ways of getting a new room mate to integrate is to rearrange everything so that there is no longer the one and only right place to put the forks and spoons and to plug in the kettle. It might also work for your cats.
posted by Jane the Brown at 5:31 AM on March 13, 2011
nthing the feliway. when we plugged in our first diffuser it was like magic. within the evening, the lioncat lay down with the lambcat. it ushered in a whole new era of inter-cat peacefulness at our place.
posted by hungrytiger at 5:40 AM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hungrytiger at 5:40 AM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
We took in a feral kitten (from immediately outside our house, as in, grab and domesticate) almost nine years ago. While they do not fight, the survivor of the two elder cats we had at the time still growls and hisses at the "newcomer" occasionally. But sometimes now we see them play and they lay on the couch at the same time, so even with the growling and hissing from the temperamental cat, we don't think they're very unhappy.
Things that have reduced hostility between the two cats for us:
- Moving house (every time).
- Removal of particular pieces of furniture that caused disputes (particularly a computer chair that was the subject of a turf war in one place).
- The third (oldest/dominant) cat in the three-cat household dying.
We have never used Feliway or meds to get the cats to accept each other, FWIW. The vet we had when we acquired the kitten didn't recommend it.
posted by immlass at 8:32 AM on March 13, 2011
Things that have reduced hostility between the two cats for us:
- Moving house (every time).
- Removal of particular pieces of furniture that caused disputes (particularly a computer chair that was the subject of a turf war in one place).
- The third (oldest/dominant) cat in the three-cat household dying.
We have never used Feliway or meds to get the cats to accept each other, FWIW. The vet we had when we acquired the kitten didn't recommend it.
posted by immlass at 8:32 AM on March 13, 2011
When I moved into my new place, I successfully integrated an formerly outdoor cat with my two indoor kitties. It took about 6 months for bonds to form, but they are all sitting together in the window as I write this.
posted by feste at 8:52 AM on March 13, 2011
posted by feste at 8:52 AM on March 13, 2011
It would depend. Some cats will warm up to other cats eventually; others never seem to, despite all efforts.
Opinion: three months is a pretty big chunk of time. If I had tried everything, I think I would start looking for a new home for #2.
(Have you tried training cat #1 to like cat #2? Re-separate them, confine #2, keep #1 close to you, and then whenever #2 appears, good things happen to #1 (treat/petting/etc.). Do that 24/7 for at least a few days.)
posted by coffeefilter at 10:51 AM on March 13, 2011
Opinion: three months is a pretty big chunk of time. If I had tried everything, I think I would start looking for a new home for #2.
(Have you tried training cat #1 to like cat #2? Re-separate them, confine #2, keep #1 close to you, and then whenever #2 appears, good things happen to #1 (treat/petting/etc.). Do that 24/7 for at least a few days.)
posted by coffeefilter at 10:51 AM on March 13, 2011
My cats took about a year to get along, and they still don't really interact much at all. But they both seem happy. I was thinking it would never happen when all of a sudden, they were both napping on the couch, and from then on things were relatively smooth. So don't panic.
Also, if you have a stressed cat, I recommend these treats called composure that my vet recommended. I was skeptical, but my older cat is a whole different creature on these. She loves them and in fact reminds me to give it to her if I forget. So much easier than forcing kitty prozac on her. I don't know why it works but it mellowed her out and she's much more social and appears happier. After a month on it, my dad's agoraphobic dog (no joke) is now able to make it to the community fire hydrant, which is an impressive feat. If I were you I'd buy a packet and see if it helps to give one or both of them it. My vet's point was "it may help, and it won't hurt, so go for it" and I'm so glad I did.
posted by gilsonal at 1:24 PM on March 13, 2011
Also, if you have a stressed cat, I recommend these treats called composure that my vet recommended. I was skeptical, but my older cat is a whole different creature on these. She loves them and in fact reminds me to give it to her if I forget. So much easier than forcing kitty prozac on her. I don't know why it works but it mellowed her out and she's much more social and appears happier. After a month on it, my dad's agoraphobic dog (no joke) is now able to make it to the community fire hydrant, which is an impressive feat. If I were you I'd buy a packet and see if it helps to give one or both of them it. My vet's point was "it may help, and it won't hurt, so go for it" and I'm so glad I did.
posted by gilsonal at 1:24 PM on March 13, 2011
Also, I found that ensuring that cat #1's cuddling time was never interrupted by the new cat, and kind of favoring her for a while seemed to help, as she didn't have to feel she was losing out on time with me for the newbie.
posted by gilsonal at 1:25 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by gilsonal at 1:25 PM on March 13, 2011
It can take a long time, make sure to greet cat #1 first, feed her first and really reinforce that she's the alpha cat. If she's hiding she's unsure about her status in the household.
posted by Ferrari328 at 2:46 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by Ferrari328 at 2:46 PM on March 13, 2011
What's worked for us is making positive associations with the two of them being in the same space together. Feed them in the same room, lavish attention on Cat 1 when Cat 2 is in the room, and lay on the treats in the presence of the other cat. If they respond positively to catnip, break out the 'nip when they're together.
You may also want to restrict Cat 2's access to bed so the bedroom becomes the "territory" of cat 1.
posted by answergrape at 7:45 PM on March 13, 2011
You may also want to restrict Cat 2's access to bed so the bedroom becomes the "territory" of cat 1.
posted by answergrape at 7:45 PM on March 13, 2011
« Older A hip hop multimedia one act performed by... | Hoping to salvage something for 2-hours of my life... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by BlahLaLa at 6:15 PM on March 12, 2011 [2 favorites]