it's silver and gold
February 22, 2011 11:05 AM   Subscribe

My wedding band is plain and made of yellow gold. My watch is stainless steel. I wear both on my left side. I haven't worn my watch since the wedding because I'm (perhaps unduly) bothered by the clash between the gold ring + silver watch.

I've tried to wear the watch on my right arm, but that doesn't work for me. Although I am not particularly vain or stylish, I work in a service profession (I'm a lawyer who's occasionally in court) where I need to portray a semi-together appearance, and I'm concerned that the silver/gold clash looks tacky or unfinished.

Would you notice something like my unmatched watch/ring? Would that combination lead you to any assumptions about the wearer? I'm male, mid-30s if that's of assistance.
posted by seventyfour to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (29 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I think that "rule" if it ever was one has kind of been tossed out in recent years. It wouldn't bother me and I don't think anyone would think anything of it. But a gold watch would be a nice present for your next birthday or anniversary (if you can wait that long)!
posted by dawkins_7 at 11:08 AM on February 22, 2011

All I can tell you is that I'm sure I've seen people that were wearing a mismatched ring/watch combo, but have never noticed it.
posted by bitdamaged at 11:09 AM on February 22, 2011

I would not notice nor care, and I'm one of those no-black-to-weddings types.
posted by KathrynT at 11:09 AM on February 22, 2011

Don't worry about it.

Cite 1

Cite 2
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:09 AM on February 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

I would not notice this. What I would notice, however, is someone who is overly concerned about his watch not matching his ring, and modifying his behavior in a way that makes him uncomfortable in order to try to cover up the perceived slight against fashion rules. I would also notice if someone else noticed (or worse, said something denigrating about) a person who was wearing a mis-matched watch and ring. And I would think that person was a douchebag.

Go ahead and wear your ring and watch with your head held high. If you're really concerned, maybe put a new watch on your wishlist.
posted by phunniemee at 11:14 AM on February 22, 2011

Would you notice something like my unmatched watch/ring? Would that combination lead you to any assumptions about the wearer?

No and no. You are way overthinking this. No one expects anyone to buy a wedding ring with their watch style in mind, and no one expects you to buy Rolexes for the rest of your life because you have a gold band.
posted by Dasein at 11:15 AM on February 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

And if you were a professional engineer, you'd have your gold wedding band on one hand, and your iron (silver-coloured) engineer's ring on the other. It's perfectly fine.
posted by LN at 11:17 AM on February 22, 2011

I'm a lawyer too, and I spend a lot of time in court. This is not a problem. First, silver, white gold and platinum all work fine with yellow gold. Second, your watch can match or at least not clash with the rest of your ensemble. The watch is one of the few pieces of jewelry men in conservative professions can get away with and, ideally, you may own several. Wouldn't it be boring if they all had to resemble your wedding ring somehow?

If it does still bother you, consider whether your wife might object to getting a more versatile wedding ring.

Do get more watches if you want them. Don't worry about the ring.
posted by Hylas at 11:20 AM on February 22, 2011

Hey, somebody's got to go against the consensus here. I would notice, and would experience a twinge at the incongruity or incoherence of it, and then I'd realize what the explanation probably was (just what you explained), and I'd dismiss it. But yes, I would notice.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 11:25 AM on February 22, 2011 [5 favorites]

Yes, I might notice.

I would probably assume that you were not interested in matching your metal jewellery.

I quite like that seasonal colour analysis thing, so if I was in a dull meeting, I might try and figure out whether I thought yellow or white metal suited you better.

(FWIW all my jewellery is white metal because I think it suits me better. I also don't wear brown. I don't think everyone needs to have funny rules about colours as I do.)
posted by plonkee at 11:26 AM on February 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

My husband had the same issue, and it bothered him enough that he replaced the watch (he got one that was stainless steel with a gold outer edge, which looks great without being all goldgoldgold). I would totally notice because my mind picks up or things like that, then i'd probably forget.
posted by ukdanae at 11:28 AM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Mixing your metals is totally fine, especially if said metals are on things like a wedding ring and a watch.

If it helps you un-think it, the only color you're working with is the yellow gold. Silver is a colorless neutral and can be freely mixed with anything. But the gold object is your wedding ring, and you don't need to worry about that coordinating with anything except your spouse's. You are effectively mixing two neutrals.
posted by Mizu at 11:31 AM on February 22, 2011

To my mind wedding rings aren't jewelry - or rather, they aren't jewelry that one matches, they're just part of the person from there on. My dad wore a stainless watch and gold wedding ring (for the last 47 years), and I never noticed anyone else giving it a second glance (nor noticed myself till this question).
posted by ldthomps at 11:36 AM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

If the watch and the ring were your only jewelry, I would notice. I agree that this rule has been thrown out, but I think you have to make it look intentional, not like you just didn't know that they don't go together. Maybe wear a thin gold bracelet on the same wrist as the silver watch, or a necklace or other ring that combines the two metals. I'd notice that too, but in a good way.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 11:38 AM on February 22, 2011

Wedding rings are exempt from sartorial matching rules.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 11:42 AM on February 22, 2011 [4 favorites]

I've always done this, and can honestly say I had never even thought of it until seeing this post.
posted by wingless_angel at 11:44 AM on February 22, 2011

I think even if I did notice I wouldn't care i think a wedding ring is an exeption to the rule in that it's clearly something you don't vary and can't be expected to match all your jewelry to for the rest of your life.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 11:44 AM on February 22, 2011

I am in my mid (who am I kidding, late) 30s. Gold ring. Stainless watch. I love my watch. I wear it a lot. I have never worried about it.

This is your beanplate. You are over-thinking it.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:54 AM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

[Sexism raises its ugly head] I'm female and must admit that I'd notice but not care, especially on a man, double especially when one of the items is a wedding band.

I just hate to wear mismatching jewellry and always wear a two-tone yellow gold/silver watch (a market stall version of this) because I used to collect art deco jewellry and my main ring is art deco yellow gold & platinum with a diamond and sapphire setting (a little like this).

If it really bothers you, could you find a two-tone watch to replace your existing one?
posted by ceri richard at 11:58 AM on February 22, 2011

Oh, sorry, I totally missed that you're male. I second ceri richard's two-tone watch suggestion, in that case.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:01 PM on February 22, 2011

Response by poster: Thanks! This was my plate of beans and I have eaten it all up, with your help. The watch will be worn.
posted by seventyfour at 12:20 PM on February 22, 2011

Seriously, if you notice/feel that it doesn't all fit together nicely then you need to change something. Either your opinion or your watch (assuming that your ring is not negotiable). Some people will notice that it doesn't match, others won't. All that matters is that its a problem for you.

I had this problem too; a stainless steel watch which I loved and a gold ring from a lady I love. My response was been much like Ukdanae. I love stainless steel/silver watches, so found a a nice tissot with gold highlights on a stainless steel band. It now all now works together nicely, and I feel great because I know it all works together really nicely. I believe its the little things, like matching your jewelry, that count.
posted by MT at 12:24 PM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

To be honest, for some reason I tend to notice different colored metal jewelry on women (silver bracelets or watch band with gold wedding set, etc) than on men. Perhaps it's because traditionally men's wedding bands aren't as large or showy. I've always presumed that the man's band was chosen by his bride-to-be to match her wedding set so that those hand-over-hand wedding photos look nice. When Mr. Adams and I got married, I chose a tri-color wedding band for him - yellow, white and rose gold - and proudly explained the versatility of my choice to him ("You can wear whatever color watch band you want and it will match!"). His response: "Who the heck notices stuff like that?" Looking back at the professional men I've known in office situations over the years, I don't recall ever thinking "Ew, gold and silver clash" but I have noticed particularly pretty or stylish (for my taste) wedding bands. If a wedding band caught my eye, I never compared it to the watch, and vice versa (but then I'm more of a ring noticer than a watch aficianado).
posted by Oriole Adams at 12:25 PM on February 22, 2011

I'd notice but I wouldn't make any judgements about it. I'd notice, and that's about it.
posted by smokingmonkey at 1:15 PM on February 22, 2011

The Commander in Chief doesn't have a problem with it either!
posted by cosmac at 2:06 PM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

"I've tried to wear the watch on my right arm, but that doesn't work for me. Although I am not particularly vain or stylish, I work in a service profession (I'm a lawyer who's occasionally in court) where I need to portray a semi-together appearance, and I'm concerned that the silver/gold clash looks tacky or unfinished."

You are SUPER over-thinking. Even Miss Manners will tell you that wedding and engagement rings are exempt from traditional rules about no diamonds before dusk and not mixing gold and silver.

My husband is a lawyer. He wears a gold wedding ring and a stainless steel watch. Nobody cares, except sometimes they comment that they like his watch.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:18 PM on February 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

What Eyebrows McGee said. Wedding bands are sartorially exempt from metal matching rules. You're all good.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:03 PM on February 22, 2011

I've been thinking about this too! I was planning on the two-color watch approach or looking into getting my wedding ring plated platinum or silver.
posted by theredpen at 6:28 PM on February 22, 2011

I have a stainless watch and a gold wedding band. Both were gifts from my wife. Both were in styles I requested. I proudly wear both at the same time. I do keep belt/shoe colors matches and socks/trousers. But just because I have a gold wedding band would that mean I could never wear anything but a matching gold watch? Of course not.

Life has long list of things to worry about, matching metal for wedding rings and wrist watches doesn't even rate a position on the list.
posted by wkearney99 at 6:24 AM on February 23, 2011

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