I'm in my extrememly late 30s and still can't cook
January 31, 2011 8:48 PM Subscribe
Please help me change regarding how I feed my family. I know the following is lame and stupid, but I haven't been able to overcome it my whole life. Maybe you have the right words of encouragement!
I've never been a cook. I know how to follow a recipe, I've just never been the person to whom cooking comes naturally. When I do it, it's a big freakin' todo, fraught with anxiety and usually disappointment. I usually don't bother since a bowl of Rice Crispies will satisfy my hunger just fine, leaving me more time to do other things. I've always envied my friends, who just buy food and cook food, as if it were the most normal thing. (you know, the people who go into grocery stores, see whats on sale, and then know what to do in order to have actual meals.)
This way of life has provided me with adequate nutrition so far, but I now have a 4.5 yo, and a soon to be 2 yo. I'm now stuck in a pattern I must change!
My 4.5 yo wont try anything we make. for example: one of the few things I make pretty easily is meat loaf. (I know boring. however it's something I can do with confidence) She won't touch it. So sometimes, I come home from work, tired, the plan was meat loaf, but why bother since I know she won't eat it anyway, I'll just give her something I know she'll eat, instead of wasting my time. (btw, the things she'll eat are: frozen chicken nuggets, tortelini, cream cheese on bread or crackers, pizza...oh, and Rice Crispies. Yep, thats about it). We made hamburgers tonight, and she refused, demanding Rice Crispies. (picture writhing on the floor, screeching "I HATE HAMBURGERS! I HATE *whatever option suggested* ! I ONLY WANT RICE CRISPIES!!) I don't want her to go hungry or stunt her growth (already very small), so I caved, on the condition that she try the hamburger.
What it the right approach? How should I be thinking? I know this question is vague! I know I just need to start cooking more; I've been telling myself this all my life, but I have some sort of "block" about it.
I'll take any advice or recipes you'd like to share (If you are going to suggest I read "How to get your kid to eat..." Go a step futher and share the takeaway; I just don't have time to read it right now.....and please be gentle! I have enough self loathing about this already)
I've never been a cook. I know how to follow a recipe, I've just never been the person to whom cooking comes naturally. When I do it, it's a big freakin' todo, fraught with anxiety and usually disappointment. I usually don't bother since a bowl of Rice Crispies will satisfy my hunger just fine, leaving me more time to do other things. I've always envied my friends, who just buy food and cook food, as if it were the most normal thing. (you know, the people who go into grocery stores, see whats on sale, and then know what to do in order to have actual meals.)
This way of life has provided me with adequate nutrition so far, but I now have a 4.5 yo, and a soon to be 2 yo. I'm now stuck in a pattern I must change!
My 4.5 yo wont try anything we make. for example: one of the few things I make pretty easily is meat loaf. (I know boring. however it's something I can do with confidence) She won't touch it. So sometimes, I come home from work, tired, the plan was meat loaf, but why bother since I know she won't eat it anyway, I'll just give her something I know she'll eat, instead of wasting my time. (btw, the things she'll eat are: frozen chicken nuggets, tortelini, cream cheese on bread or crackers, pizza...oh, and Rice Crispies. Yep, thats about it). We made hamburgers tonight, and she refused, demanding Rice Crispies. (picture writhing on the floor, screeching "I HATE HAMBURGERS! I HATE *whatever option suggested* ! I ONLY WANT RICE CRISPIES!!) I don't want her to go hungry or stunt her growth (already very small), so I caved, on the condition that she try the hamburger.
What it the right approach? How should I be thinking? I know this question is vague! I know I just need to start cooking more; I've been telling myself this all my life, but I have some sort of "block" about it.
I'll take any advice or recipes you'd like to share (If you are going to suggest I read "How to get your kid to eat..." Go a step futher and share the takeaway; I just don't have time to read it right now.....and please be gentle! I have enough self loathing about this already)
Somewhat off-topic, but is it possible she has sensory issues? Some kids cannot abide certain textures, making meals a very difficult process.
posted by heigh-hothederryo at 8:53 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by heigh-hothederryo at 8:53 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
This might be more work than you're able to put in right now, but have you considered gardening? Kids will eat things they never would have eaten if they get to participate in their cultivation.
I'm not suggesting that you show them where their meatloaf comes from (although I was, and I think I'm fine), but getting your 4 year old a little more involved in prep might get her more interested in the end-result.
posted by Gilbert at 8:58 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm not suggesting that you show them where their meatloaf comes from (although I was, and I think I'm fine), but getting your 4 year old a little more involved in prep might get her more interested in the end-result.
posted by Gilbert at 8:58 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Okay, first of all, if you're making hamburgers and meatloaf, you can cook, or at least, I don't know what this elusive Cooking is that you can't do.
Cooking is just applying heat to food until it is edible. That's what I tell myself when I'm like "there's nothing to eat." I literally turn on the pan, start oil heating up, sauté some onions first (this is the only trick you really need to know), and then -- with the time pressure on as the onions cook -- just chop up and throw in whatever is at hand. Voila. Stir-fried Whatever.
posted by salvia at 9:03 PM on January 31, 2011 [7 favorites]
Cooking is just applying heat to food until it is edible. That's what I tell myself when I'm like "there's nothing to eat." I literally turn on the pan, start oil heating up, sauté some onions first (this is the only trick you really need to know), and then -- with the time pressure on as the onions cook -- just chop up and throw in whatever is at hand. Voila. Stir-fried Whatever.
posted by salvia at 9:03 PM on January 31, 2011 [7 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks Gilbert! Yes, I have made banana bread with her many times, and can you believe it she still wont try it!! (Even after I made a special loaf for her without nuts). She loves to help me in the kitchen, but still won't try the stuff I make. Also, we do grow tomatoes, and she has eaten them but serious food production is out of my reach right now.
posted by hollyanderbody at 9:05 PM on January 31, 2011
posted by hollyanderbody at 9:05 PM on January 31, 2011
First, go out and get Mark Bittman's How To Cook Everything. It's like learning to cook from someone who isn't trying to play chef, but help busy and clumsy humans learn to cook good simple stuff. Second, cook WITH the kid when you can and don't negotiate when you can't.
posted by history is a weapon at 9:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by history is a weapon at 9:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
You have two issues. One is your difficulty with cooking. The other is your difficulty with getting your kid to eat what you make.
For the first, the key is planning. I am also not a big fan of cooking a meal at the end of a long tiring day. If you can labor shift most of the cooking to another time, so all you have to do is go home and stick it in the oven or open the crock pot, this will make your life a lot easier. There are a ton of resources online with advice on once-a-month cooking. You can be as ambitious as you want.
As to the kiddo - I have friends with a very food-phobic kid. She was also down to eating about 5 foods. She had very large tonsils that caused her to gag very easily - they were removed. So far it's too early to tell whether there has been improvement. Also, they are trying a food habituation protocol. Each week they are working on getting her used to a different food. Day 1 - look at the food. Day 2 - smell the food. Day 3 - take 1 tiny bite of the food, OK to spit it out. Day 4 - take one small bite of food, and swallow, but she can be distracted by watching TV. Etc.
Good luck!
posted by bq at 9:08 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
For the first, the key is planning. I am also not a big fan of cooking a meal at the end of a long tiring day. If you can labor shift most of the cooking to another time, so all you have to do is go home and stick it in the oven or open the crock pot, this will make your life a lot easier. There are a ton of resources online with advice on once-a-month cooking. You can be as ambitious as you want.
As to the kiddo - I have friends with a very food-phobic kid. She was also down to eating about 5 foods. She had very large tonsils that caused her to gag very easily - they were removed. So far it's too early to tell whether there has been improvement. Also, they are trying a food habituation protocol. Each week they are working on getting her used to a different food. Day 1 - look at the food. Day 2 - smell the food. Day 3 - take 1 tiny bite of the food, OK to spit it out. Day 4 - take one small bite of food, and swallow, but she can be distracted by watching TV. Etc.
Good luck!
posted by bq at 9:08 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
If your daughter loves to help in the kitchen, maybe you could look through cookbooks/the internet with her to find things that she thinks sound "good" (and would be good for her, obviously) and then cook them together? That might also help you break the mental cooking block-- cooking is something you have to learn about, either by following recipes or by learning from someone else, before you can do it intuitively. If you do it enough, you'll be able to visualize meals when you go to the grocery store... it just takes time to understand the basics.
posted by geegollygosh at 9:11 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by geegollygosh at 9:11 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
There's quite a lot of cooking you can do that doesn't feel like cooking. I know that at the end of a long day you don't want to sit there and chop things, but depending on your budget, you can get a long way with frozen veggies and frozen chicken breast and rice and canned beans. I'm sure people will come in here with good recipes, but my personal shortcut when I don't want to cook is simple mexican food. A microwaved can of refried beans, store-bought taco shells, shredded lettuce, cheese, and a jar of salsa, and dinner's ready in under five minutes. It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but it's really not too bad considering the time you have to put in. Replace the lettuce and taco shells with rice (even minute rice!) and you have a different meal.
If you make "cooking" that easy, you won't feel so intimidated by it, and won't be as tempted to go for the pre-made meals. One other thing that helps me cook healthier is not buying certain things. I know that if I buy frozen pizza bites I'll eat them when I'm tired, but if they're not in the house, I'm not going to get in the car to go buy them when I'm tired. It may also help to be able to truthfully tell your daughter, "We don't have any Rice Crispies." And it's a lot easier to convince yourself to make the healthy choice when you're at the grocery store - well-slept and well-fed - on a Sunday afternoon, than after work on a weekday.
Good luck, and try not to beat yourself up over this! Both of my parents hate to cook, but they still managed to feed us kids healthy (just simple) things growing up. You'll do just fine by your kids :)
posted by you're a kitty! at 9:12 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
If you make "cooking" that easy, you won't feel so intimidated by it, and won't be as tempted to go for the pre-made meals. One other thing that helps me cook healthier is not buying certain things. I know that if I buy frozen pizza bites I'll eat them when I'm tired, but if they're not in the house, I'm not going to get in the car to go buy them when I'm tired. It may also help to be able to truthfully tell your daughter, "We don't have any Rice Crispies." And it's a lot easier to convince yourself to make the healthy choice when you're at the grocery store - well-slept and well-fed - on a Sunday afternoon, than after work on a weekday.
Good luck, and try not to beat yourself up over this! Both of my parents hate to cook, but they still managed to feed us kids healthy (just simple) things growing up. You'll do just fine by your kids :)
posted by you're a kitty! at 9:12 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
For cooking, some people like to cook, some don't. I hate to cook, but I am a good cook. I don't get joy from cooking and feeding people. Try different styles of cooking. I like nice basic cook books. The original Mooswood Cookbook is fun. I also like The Joy of Cooking for very basic cooking. One thing I do like to do is get really old recipes and make them. By old I mean 100 years or older.
As for your 4-year old. There is nothing you can do. The child will not starve. Children eventually grow out of this. The worst thing you can do is make a big deal. Kids thrive on driving their parents nuts. Just offer a variety of good food.
posted by fifilaru at 9:15 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
As for your 4-year old. There is nothing you can do. The child will not starve. Children eventually grow out of this. The worst thing you can do is make a big deal. Kids thrive on driving their parents nuts. Just offer a variety of good food.
posted by fifilaru at 9:15 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
For what it's worth, when I was a kid, even though my mom didn't cater dinner individually to our whims, we were always allowed the alternative of a bowl of cereal or PBJ sandwich if we didn't like whatever was cooked. We could also have some other combo of the same basic meal components - for instance cheese and a hamburger bun without the meat part.
So I don't see anything wrong with fixing her a bowl of rice krispies if it's what she wants. If she is in the habit of this and you feel you've "wasted" the time making an elaborate meal, anticipate that she's going to do this and just make what you want to eat for dinner. And enjoy the meals you cook for yourself. Your daughter isn't the only one who matters, here.
posted by Sara C. at 9:16 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
So I don't see anything wrong with fixing her a bowl of rice krispies if it's what she wants. If she is in the habit of this and you feel you've "wasted" the time making an elaborate meal, anticipate that she's going to do this and just make what you want to eat for dinner. And enjoy the meals you cook for yourself. Your daughter isn't the only one who matters, here.
posted by Sara C. at 9:16 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Can you involve the 4.5 year old in the cooking? I know that sounds like a messy nightmare, but if she stirs the meatloaf mixture and adds the spices (within reason) that she thinks smell nice, and maybe molds it into cupcakes instead of a loaf? And they're special dinner! cupcakes!! with mashed potato frosting and ketchup "writing?" Well, that just might do it.
Carrots are sliced into rounds and become magic coins. Green beans are pirate swords. Olive slices add eyes to anything. Toad-in-a-hole is a totally acceptable dinner. So are pancakes and eggs.*
As for meal planning: concentrate on hitting the major food groups in each meal. Grains, proteins, dairy, vegetables, fruits. Every week I make a grocery and meal list. Here's what I do:
- I turn a piece of 8.5 x 11 paper to the landscape orientation and write each day on the top of the horizontal page. I then go through and choose a protein for each dinner, then sides, then dessert for some nights.
- Our breakfasts and lunches are pretty standardized. Oatmeal or cereal with milk or yogurt and fruit for breakfast, PBH&B (peanut butter, honey and banana) for lunch, served with carrot sticks, a little container of hummus, a cheese stick, sometimes an apple, and some kind of treat- this week it's Fig Newtons. Sometimes it's chocolate. Gotta live, right?
- I flip the paper over to the portrait orientation and make a grocery list. It usually goes something like this (I didn't include non-food stuff):
Protein
- Salmon
- Mahi Mahi
- Chicken Breasts
- Ground Turkey
- Stew beef
Grain / Starch Sides
- Multi-grain rice pilaf (we usually get this at Costco in bulk)
- Potatoes
- Pita bread (whole wheat)
- Pasta
Produce
- Bananas
- Apples
- Oranges
- Spinach
- Carrots
Dairy
- Milk
- Lactose free milk
- Eggs
- Butter (every other week, usually)
- Yogurt (plain)
- Cheese sticks or a block of cheese.
- A bag of shredded cheese (every other week, usually)
Treats
- Some kind of cookie or cake
- Crackers
- Usually a few items that catch my eye, this week it was trail mix. Sometimes it's ice cream.
Staples
- Sandwich bread (whole wheat white)
- Peanut butter (another Costco item)
So, that gives a good basis for the week, and usually it allows for plenty of leftovers. I've resigned myself to the fact that no matter how much I plan everything will get thrown out the window at least one day and we'll have Costco burritos, whose only redeeming value is that they only cost 49 cents each.
The list gets posted on the fridge and it helps to keep things on track. It also helps me remember to defrost stuff as the week goes on; I've made a pact with myself to stop letting protein go bad in the refrigerator. We're too poor for that.
*I don't have any toddlers, just a fiance who sometimes eats like one. And a lot of babysitting experience.
posted by charmcityblues at 9:19 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Carrots are sliced into rounds and become magic coins. Green beans are pirate swords. Olive slices add eyes to anything. Toad-in-a-hole is a totally acceptable dinner. So are pancakes and eggs.*
As for meal planning: concentrate on hitting the major food groups in each meal. Grains, proteins, dairy, vegetables, fruits. Every week I make a grocery and meal list. Here's what I do:
- I turn a piece of 8.5 x 11 paper to the landscape orientation and write each day on the top of the horizontal page. I then go through and choose a protein for each dinner, then sides, then dessert for some nights.
- Our breakfasts and lunches are pretty standardized. Oatmeal or cereal with milk or yogurt and fruit for breakfast, PBH&B (peanut butter, honey and banana) for lunch, served with carrot sticks, a little container of hummus, a cheese stick, sometimes an apple, and some kind of treat- this week it's Fig Newtons. Sometimes it's chocolate. Gotta live, right?
- I flip the paper over to the portrait orientation and make a grocery list. It usually goes something like this (I didn't include non-food stuff):
Protein
- Salmon
- Mahi Mahi
- Chicken Breasts
- Ground Turkey
- Stew beef
Grain / Starch Sides
- Multi-grain rice pilaf (we usually get this at Costco in bulk)
- Potatoes
- Pita bread (whole wheat)
- Pasta
Produce
- Bananas
- Apples
- Oranges
- Spinach
- Carrots
Dairy
- Milk
- Lactose free milk
- Eggs
- Butter (every other week, usually)
- Yogurt (plain)
- Cheese sticks or a block of cheese.
- A bag of shredded cheese (every other week, usually)
Treats
- Some kind of cookie or cake
- Crackers
- Usually a few items that catch my eye, this week it was trail mix. Sometimes it's ice cream.
Staples
- Sandwich bread (whole wheat white)
- Peanut butter (another Costco item)
So, that gives a good basis for the week, and usually it allows for plenty of leftovers. I've resigned myself to the fact that no matter how much I plan everything will get thrown out the window at least one day and we'll have Costco burritos, whose only redeeming value is that they only cost 49 cents each.
The list gets posted on the fridge and it helps to keep things on track. It also helps me remember to defrost stuff as the week goes on; I've made a pact with myself to stop letting protein go bad in the refrigerator. We're too poor for that.
*I don't have any toddlers, just a fiance who sometimes eats like one. And a lot of babysitting experience.
posted by charmcityblues at 9:19 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Oh, and I have a rotating list of things to do with the proteins. Some things we frequently do:
- Chili (with the ground turkey and beans, served over rice or spaghetti). I cheat and use a spice packet for convenience, takes about 20 minutes to throw together. Chili purists would faint, I'm sure.
- Broiled fish, takes 15 minutes to cook.
- Chicken breasts with a cut down the middle, stuffed with spinach, yogurt, and seasonings, and covered with a thin layer of seasoned yogurt. 35ish minutes.
- Beef stew, usually made on a weekend and stuck in the fridge for quick meals.
- Peanut butter chicken (served with udon).
- Stir friend (blank) with vegetables.
The point being is that the proteins are chosen for versatility and quick throwing-together-ness.
posted by charmcityblues at 9:24 PM on January 31, 2011
- Chili (with the ground turkey and beans, served over rice or spaghetti). I cheat and use a spice packet for convenience, takes about 20 minutes to throw together. Chili purists would faint, I'm sure.
- Broiled fish, takes 15 minutes to cook.
- Chicken breasts with a cut down the middle, stuffed with spinach, yogurt, and seasonings, and covered with a thin layer of seasoned yogurt. 35ish minutes.
- Beef stew, usually made on a weekend and stuck in the fridge for quick meals.
- Peanut butter chicken (served with udon).
- Stir friend (blank) with vegetables.
The point being is that the proteins are chosen for versatility and quick throwing-together-ness.
posted by charmcityblues at 9:24 PM on January 31, 2011
As far as the 4.5 year old not trying anything you make - how about just "giving up" that battle, at least for the time being? Cook and serve what you have planned (and meatloaf + some vegetable, like peas - from frozen to the table in under 10 minutes - sounds like a cooked meal to me!), and if she doesn't want to eat it, then she can serve herself a bowl of cereal and milk, and have that for dinner while you and the rest of the family eat the meatloaf. At 4.5, that should be within her range, as far as dexterity goes, though you are the best judge of that. I think that this would at least ramp down the drama, which I imagine is hard to deal with at the end of day and might make bedtime more of a challenge for both the 4.5 year old and littler one, not to mention you!
The cereal option also puts the reins more firmly in the hand of your daughter, which I think might be a good thing in this case. Less drama regarding meals might make her more likely to at least try new foods when she feels (and you feel) less pressure. If she is not gaining more attention (via a fit on the floor) by not eating, and she sees the rest of family enjoying a new food, getting some low-key positive feedback for tasting a pea could be a more attractive option.
Even if she sticks with a really limited food range for right now, I don't think that having dinner (and other meals, I assume) be a battlefield will increase that range very successfully. Her growing a bit and her palate maturing (I don't mean in a snobby way, just in a 'more able to tolerate bitter/salty/etc. tastes' way) would be a more likely path for the number of foods she is willing to increase. Best of luck to you!
posted by that possible maker of pork sausages at 9:25 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
The cereal option also puts the reins more firmly in the hand of your daughter, which I think might be a good thing in this case. Less drama regarding meals might make her more likely to at least try new foods when she feels (and you feel) less pressure. If she is not gaining more attention (via a fit on the floor) by not eating, and she sees the rest of family enjoying a new food, getting some low-key positive feedback for tasting a pea could be a more attractive option.
Even if she sticks with a really limited food range for right now, I don't think that having dinner (and other meals, I assume) be a battlefield will increase that range very successfully. Her growing a bit and her palate maturing (I don't mean in a snobby way, just in a 'more able to tolerate bitter/salty/etc. tastes' way) would be a more likely path for the number of foods she is willing to increase. Best of luck to you!
posted by that possible maker of pork sausages at 9:25 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Sorry, I meant to add: recipes where you don't need to measure or carefully time things are sooooo much easier when you're tired. I like to make chili, because it's just "toss whatever in the pot and simmer," and the only measuring I do is like this: 1 onion, 1 can of black beans, 1 can of kidney beans, some salsa, etc.
posted by you're a kitty! at 9:27 PM on January 31, 2011
posted by you're a kitty! at 9:27 PM on January 31, 2011
I would definitely get a crock pot. It's almost fool-proof. Put a roast or some chicken and some veggies that go with whatever meat you choose and some kind of liquid, like broth, put it on low, and leave it all day.
Another easy thing kids really like is pasta. You mentioned she'll eat tortellini. Does she eat any veggies at all? You might try sneaking some into pasta with a sauce she likes. Just boil some pasta, buy a jar of tomato sauce (pasta sauce, not just plain tomato sauce like comes in a can), cook some pieces of chicken (or you can even buy pre-cooked frozen ones you can heat up), add some bagged veggies, and put it all together. Easy. You can actually put some jar tomato sauce and chicken breasts in the crock pot and let it cook all day and it's really damn good over whatever your favorite pasta is.
For people who don't really "get" cooking, I really recommend buying: frozen and canned veggies, chicken breasts, ground turkey or beef, pasta, jarred pasta sauce, pasta of various kinds, cheese, including grated cheese, rice, canned beans (white beans, kidney beans, etc.). You can pretty much mix and match these things easily and they have meat, grains, and veggies.
I might be off on this because I was not a picky kid at all and neither were my siblings or most of the kids I used to PT nanny/care for, but if your kid will only eat 5 foods, you might talk to her pediatrician about techniques to get her interested in more things.
posted by elpea at 9:28 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Another easy thing kids really like is pasta. You mentioned she'll eat tortellini. Does she eat any veggies at all? You might try sneaking some into pasta with a sauce she likes. Just boil some pasta, buy a jar of tomato sauce (pasta sauce, not just plain tomato sauce like comes in a can), cook some pieces of chicken (or you can even buy pre-cooked frozen ones you can heat up), add some bagged veggies, and put it all together. Easy. You can actually put some jar tomato sauce and chicken breasts in the crock pot and let it cook all day and it's really damn good over whatever your favorite pasta is.
For people who don't really "get" cooking, I really recommend buying: frozen and canned veggies, chicken breasts, ground turkey or beef, pasta, jarred pasta sauce, pasta of various kinds, cheese, including grated cheese, rice, canned beans (white beans, kidney beans, etc.). You can pretty much mix and match these things easily and they have meat, grains, and veggies.
I might be off on this because I was not a picky kid at all and neither were my siblings or most of the kids I used to PT nanny/care for, but if your kid will only eat 5 foods, you might talk to her pediatrician about techniques to get her interested in more things.
posted by elpea at 9:28 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks everyone. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out.
posted by hollyanderbody at 9:29 PM on January 31, 2011
posted by hollyanderbody at 9:29 PM on January 31, 2011
Oh another thing I think people who don't find cooking intuitive do is get hung up on how much of each thing. It really doesn't matter unless you're baking or making a sauce from scratch, or certain casseroles, usually. Just add as much as each ingredient as you think would be good or have handy.
posted by elpea at 9:29 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by elpea at 9:29 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I can't address the part about feeding kids (sorry; that seems to be your main question here), but your comment about going to the grocery store and seeing what's on sale made me wonder if this approach to grocery shopping might be adding to your stress level.
Shopping on the fly based on what's on sale is not such a great approach in my experience. It tends to result in the same 4 or 5 dishes being cooked, since you have those recipes memorized and you know what other ingredients you need to get. My Mom did this to save a little money on groceries but boy did it make eating a dull experience! Cooking, too (Mom ended up hating cooking). After being subjected to Mom's unnecessary economizing I vowed that I would never shop this way again.
I vastly prefer choosing recipes beforehand, which lets me try out a whole variety of dishes from cookbooks, blogs, etc. Even as a broke-ass graduate student I ignored the supermarket specials and economized by choosing recipes based on cheap ingredients like beans, tofu, etc. I learned the basics of cooking from my mom but didn't really turn into a good cook until I was on my own for a few years, so I don't think it's too late for you to gain some skill and confidence.
I suggest you find a cooking mentor or two and stick to their recipes at first: a cookbook author, a blogger, TV chef, etc. I find that a single author is usually quite consistent, but recipes by committee (magazines, recipe archive websites) are a crapshoot. After you develop a little confidence you can explore other sources, but stick to a few single-author books or blogs at first.
Food shopping is stressful when you're trying to make decisions on the fly and put together a menu plan and remember recipes and ancillary ingredients - it's processor overload and you always end up forgetting something anyway. GROCERY FAIL. I find it much more pleasant to plan the week's meals and shopping list when I can consult my cookbook library over a relaxing cup of tea.
Feel free to MeMail if you'd like further suggestions, recipe recommendations, etc. Good luck and bon appétit!
posted by Quietgal at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Shopping on the fly based on what's on sale is not such a great approach in my experience. It tends to result in the same 4 or 5 dishes being cooked, since you have those recipes memorized and you know what other ingredients you need to get. My Mom did this to save a little money on groceries but boy did it make eating a dull experience! Cooking, too (Mom ended up hating cooking). After being subjected to Mom's unnecessary economizing I vowed that I would never shop this way again.
I vastly prefer choosing recipes beforehand, which lets me try out a whole variety of dishes from cookbooks, blogs, etc. Even as a broke-ass graduate student I ignored the supermarket specials and economized by choosing recipes based on cheap ingredients like beans, tofu, etc. I learned the basics of cooking from my mom but didn't really turn into a good cook until I was on my own for a few years, so I don't think it's too late for you to gain some skill and confidence.
I suggest you find a cooking mentor or two and stick to their recipes at first: a cookbook author, a blogger, TV chef, etc. I find that a single author is usually quite consistent, but recipes by committee (magazines, recipe archive websites) are a crapshoot. After you develop a little confidence you can explore other sources, but stick to a few single-author books or blogs at first.
Food shopping is stressful when you're trying to make decisions on the fly and put together a menu plan and remember recipes and ancillary ingredients - it's processor overload and you always end up forgetting something anyway. GROCERY FAIL. I find it much more pleasant to plan the week's meals and shopping list when I can consult my cookbook library over a relaxing cup of tea.
Feel free to MeMail if you'd like further suggestions, recipe recommendations, etc. Good luck and bon appétit!
posted by Quietgal at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Agreed, you can cook. You make meatloaf and hamburgers! I cook all the time. I can't walk into a supermarket and see what's on sale and magically conjure up a recipe from thin air, I just draw from my existing repertoire of recipes and if the item is one of the ingredients in that recipe - well ta da! If meatloaf and hamburgers are the only two recipes in your repertoire, then you can just slowly expand that by trying some new, simple, recipes. Simple is good. Simple means you can make it quickly when you get home and you are tired. Also good for a working parent is batch cooking. At the weekend, or one evening after the kids have gone to bed, you cook a giant load of this recipe, then portion it up and put it in the fridge or freezer. You come back from work the next day or any other day, pull out a portion from the fridge and freezer, shove it in the microwave and ta da! Homecooked food. I have some simple recipes I use all the time, I would be happy to memail them to you if you like.
Next, toddler eating. I totally feel you on this. I have a 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old. The 3.5 year old has an extremely limited list of foods too. Every picky eating child is different (in terms of why they are picky), but I found this article to be a great set of ideas to try. My son warmed up pretty well to the one where you measure your child before and after eating. He is very keen to grow taller. The sticker chart also works well for him, but only if there are a manageably small number of slots on the chart. Otherwise the goal seems too far off and he just isn't interested. But when there are only 5 slots left on the chart (and he knows what the prize is), oh boy he really wants to try the new foods! Who knows which ones will work for your daughter, but try some new methods.
Some more thoughts on picky eaters - try and keep the drama out of mealtime. Picky eating is all about a power struggle for toddlers. Its one of the few areas in their lives where they have control, so they wield it with great glee. I was recommended books by Ellyn Satter, but like you, I don't have TIME to read whole books on parenting. I wish people would publish parenting leaflets FFS. Anyway, the takeaway is: you control what they eat, they control how much. You choose the foods that are available on the table. They decide how much of each food they wish to eat, and you do NOT make a big fuss about their choices. Do not get up from the table and prepare a special meal for your kid, because then you have ceded control of what is available to her. That's your area. What's on the table is all the choices. Always include one or two foods you know she eats, even if its a weird smorgasbord, its OK, its just food. Keep putting food on the table you know she doesn't eat (like hamburgers), but don't show that you care if she doesn't want any. Shrug and go back to your food. Don't let it become a drama. She wants drama. She wants to make a point. Maybe, MAYBE, over time she will agree to eat a previously-refused food because it has become familiar. Or not, who can tell.
Another thing I will note (because hey this post is already insanely long), my picky person is also on the very small end of the scale, and I think that made me extra-anxious about ensuring he ate, which in retrospect made the whole thing worse, because I would keep going back to the kitchen and anxiously offering more things. But you know what, your small kid will be fine. Some days she will eat what seems lik too little, but she will make up for it another meal or another time. You need to try and let go of the worry. Assuming she is on the small end of the chart, but is not dropping off her growth curve. Now I've stopped worrying about that, and I generally accept when he says he is done. There was a brief extinction burst of eating almost nothing to make a point, and now he eats better. Good luck! I'm cheering from the sidelines for you.
posted by Joh at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Next, toddler eating. I totally feel you on this. I have a 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old. The 3.5 year old has an extremely limited list of foods too. Every picky eating child is different (in terms of why they are picky), but I found this article to be a great set of ideas to try. My son warmed up pretty well to the one where you measure your child before and after eating. He is very keen to grow taller. The sticker chart also works well for him, but only if there are a manageably small number of slots on the chart. Otherwise the goal seems too far off and he just isn't interested. But when there are only 5 slots left on the chart (and he knows what the prize is), oh boy he really wants to try the new foods! Who knows which ones will work for your daughter, but try some new methods.
Some more thoughts on picky eaters - try and keep the drama out of mealtime. Picky eating is all about a power struggle for toddlers. Its one of the few areas in their lives where they have control, so they wield it with great glee. I was recommended books by Ellyn Satter, but like you, I don't have TIME to read whole books on parenting. I wish people would publish parenting leaflets FFS. Anyway, the takeaway is: you control what they eat, they control how much. You choose the foods that are available on the table. They decide how much of each food they wish to eat, and you do NOT make a big fuss about their choices. Do not get up from the table and prepare a special meal for your kid, because then you have ceded control of what is available to her. That's your area. What's on the table is all the choices. Always include one or two foods you know she eats, even if its a weird smorgasbord, its OK, its just food. Keep putting food on the table you know she doesn't eat (like hamburgers), but don't show that you care if she doesn't want any. Shrug and go back to your food. Don't let it become a drama. She wants drama. She wants to make a point. Maybe, MAYBE, over time she will agree to eat a previously-refused food because it has become familiar. Or not, who can tell.
Another thing I will note (because hey this post is already insanely long), my picky person is also on the very small end of the scale, and I think that made me extra-anxious about ensuring he ate, which in retrospect made the whole thing worse, because I would keep going back to the kitchen and anxiously offering more things. But you know what, your small kid will be fine. Some days she will eat what seems lik too little, but she will make up for it another meal or another time. You need to try and let go of the worry. Assuming she is on the small end of the chart, but is not dropping off her growth curve. Now I've stopped worrying about that, and I generally accept when he says he is done. There was a brief extinction burst of eating almost nothing to make a point, and now he eats better. Good luck! I'm cheering from the sidelines for you.
posted by Joh at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
She likes pizza? Okay, make pizza. First night it's olives, peppers and onions. Second night it's deep-dish with stuffed eggplant. Third night it's pineapple and no cheese. Same deal with tortellini - pesto, garlic and olive oil, marinara, alfredo. That's a week of food. You can keep riffing on the same things until she finds something she especially likes.
When she decides that tortellini with pesto or whatever is her favorite, make spaghetti and pesto. If she protests, explain that they're the same thing in different shapes. If she likes the fun shapes, there are stellini, rotini, bow ties, and wagon wheels. After a little bit, you'll have a daughter who will eat any kind of pasta. Bonus - pasta is super easy to make and the leftovers are just as good.
And if that doesn't work, calmly tell her that you and your SO are gonna eat some hamburgers, and she's welcome to join if she wants. Don't get upset if she doesn't want it and find some leftovers she'll eat. In my experience, "just try it" doesn't really work - kids will barely try it and then insist that they hate it.
posted by wayland at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
When she decides that tortellini with pesto or whatever is her favorite, make spaghetti and pesto. If she protests, explain that they're the same thing in different shapes. If she likes the fun shapes, there are stellini, rotini, bow ties, and wagon wheels. After a little bit, you'll have a daughter who will eat any kind of pasta. Bonus - pasta is super easy to make and the leftovers are just as good.
And if that doesn't work, calmly tell her that you and your SO are gonna eat some hamburgers, and she's welcome to join if she wants. Don't get upset if she doesn't want it and find some leftovers she'll eat. In my experience, "just try it" doesn't really work - kids will barely try it and then insist that they hate it.
posted by wayland at 9:33 PM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Ellyn Satter has a useful website too. Here's the entry on How to Feed a 3-5 year old. Obviously there is going to be some adjustment when you move from being a short-order cook who caters to the "beige" food requirements of the child, to someone who is cooking meals for her family, which includes the kid! So - be prepared for a bit of struggle, but know that some changes will provide better long-term outcomes!
There is lots of good advice on the site - maybe you could ramp up to that entry from the earlier stages.
posted by barnone at 9:58 PM on January 31, 2011
There is lots of good advice on the site - maybe you could ramp up to that entry from the earlier stages.
posted by barnone at 9:58 PM on January 31, 2011
Cooking is a fraught, stressful issue for you. Is it possible that your daughter is picking up on this? I mean, you're essentially teaching her that foods that aren't bland and "safe" are a pain in the butt and produce feelings of stress and unhappiness--and you know, even if a bowl of rice crispies "fills" you, it doesn't meet all of your nutritional needs.
So I think step one is modeling good eating behavior. I think learning how to do a few core cooking things would be your biggest help. Learn how to steam veggies, roast veggies, make a good salad. Learn how to pan fry a few different types of meat, or grill fish or kebabs. None of this is particularly difficult. But it is something you need to learn to do. Hell, they're things you can learn with your daughter. Get a good basic cook-book and work your way through it with her. Focus on making it seem fun and light for her, even if she doesn't eat it. All these negative emotions about food are, of course, going to have an impact on her.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:01 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
So I think step one is modeling good eating behavior. I think learning how to do a few core cooking things would be your biggest help. Learn how to steam veggies, roast veggies, make a good salad. Learn how to pan fry a few different types of meat, or grill fish or kebabs. None of this is particularly difficult. But it is something you need to learn to do. Hell, they're things you can learn with your daughter. Get a good basic cook-book and work your way through it with her. Focus on making it seem fun and light for her, even if she doesn't eat it. All these negative emotions about food are, of course, going to have an impact on her.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:01 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
My son is 4, and has had very similar neophobic tendencies when it comes to eating food. What has worked for us, to a limited degree, is a combination of things. One, is sticker charts with concrete goals and a specific reward. We've been doing this for about a year now, and he's now eating some raw veggies (zucchini, sometimes carrots, jicama, red peppers, and lettuces) with Mrs. Dash seasoning (which he gets to sprinkle himself), spaghetti with sauce, pizza and some other stuff. Quite improved from where he was a year ago. Praise, of course, comes into this as well, when it comes to changing the behavior. And emphasizing that he's a big kid now, and has to start eating like one. Also, last year and this year as well, I grew various herbs and lettuces in the garden (arugula was his favorite), and I would let him pick the salad and help make the salad dressing for our salad. Getting him involved in cooking really seems to help.
My two cents worth.
Also, if you can get them to eat spaghetti or pizza, you can sneak pureed veggies into the sauce. I do this all the time. And he loves my spaghetti better than the stuff he gets at school.
posted by geekhorde at 10:05 PM on January 31, 2011
My two cents worth.
Also, if you can get them to eat spaghetti or pizza, you can sneak pureed veggies into the sauce. I do this all the time. And he loves my spaghetti better than the stuff he gets at school.
posted by geekhorde at 10:05 PM on January 31, 2011
It sounds like this has turned into one of those struggles that assumes way too much significance and power. My suggestion is that you find a way to move away from the power and self esteem struggles, and figure out how to teach your daughter the proper way to behave around dinnertime.
This is going to involve some decisions on you and your family's part. You have to decide whether it's ok with you for her to eat cereal for all, some, or no dinner times. Then, you should set up a tracking and reward system to shape and reinforce appropriate behavior.
For instance, you could decide that it's ok with you for her to eat cereal three times a week for dinner. You could let her decide which days those are - like she gets three "Eat cereal for dinner" cards as an "allowance" each week, and she can spend them as she wishes. Or, you can decide that Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays are cereal night - those days can get special marks on the calendar, so she knows which days they are.
Rewards come for behaving appropriately which means NO TANTRUMS, regardless of what is being served. You could give her gold stars on the nights that she behaves well, and at the end of the month, gold stars can be traded in for special prizes, like time at a special playground, sleepovers, whatever. I'd suggest to not use food as one of the reward things, though. It's just too confusing.
Those non-cereal nights, you can prepare two things, and she has to eat one. Meatloaf is fine for one of them, maybe something that she sort of likes for the other - mashed potatoes with gravy were always a big hit when my kids were little, and the instant ones are so easy! We were able to incorporate broccoli at one point by planting the broccoli trees in the mashed potatoes right by the gravy lake. My daughters could then be dinosaurs eating the broccoli trees and roaring as they did so.
Whether she eats or not, the reward comes from behaving well - sitting at the table, socializing, talking about her day. If she tantrums, ignore her. Tell her to go into her room if she wants to behave that way - to give the clear message that it's not ok. Without reinforcement, the tantruming will go away.
posted by jasper411 at 10:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
This is going to involve some decisions on you and your family's part. You have to decide whether it's ok with you for her to eat cereal for all, some, or no dinner times. Then, you should set up a tracking and reward system to shape and reinforce appropriate behavior.
For instance, you could decide that it's ok with you for her to eat cereal three times a week for dinner. You could let her decide which days those are - like she gets three "Eat cereal for dinner" cards as an "allowance" each week, and she can spend them as she wishes. Or, you can decide that Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays are cereal night - those days can get special marks on the calendar, so she knows which days they are.
Rewards come for behaving appropriately which means NO TANTRUMS, regardless of what is being served. You could give her gold stars on the nights that she behaves well, and at the end of the month, gold stars can be traded in for special prizes, like time at a special playground, sleepovers, whatever. I'd suggest to not use food as one of the reward things, though. It's just too confusing.
Those non-cereal nights, you can prepare two things, and she has to eat one. Meatloaf is fine for one of them, maybe something that she sort of likes for the other - mashed potatoes with gravy were always a big hit when my kids were little, and the instant ones are so easy! We were able to incorporate broccoli at one point by planting the broccoli trees in the mashed potatoes right by the gravy lake. My daughters could then be dinosaurs eating the broccoli trees and roaring as they did so.
Whether she eats or not, the reward comes from behaving well - sitting at the table, socializing, talking about her day. If she tantrums, ignore her. Tell her to go into her room if she wants to behave that way - to give the clear message that it's not ok. Without reinforcement, the tantruming will go away.
posted by jasper411 at 10:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Planning.
First, make a list of all the meals you know how to make. (Everything! Pancakes are great for supper, and so is just hummus, pita, and carrot sticks.)
Then, sit down with that list, and a blank piece of paper. On the blank piece of paper, label it monday, tuesday, etc. for the week. Look at your list of what you know how to make, and pick something out for each day. Plan a few 'nice' suppers and a couple easy ones depending on your schedule. (Have plans Wednesday night? Frozen pizza!) Now, these aren't going to be written in stone, so feel free to swap them around during the week as needed. The goal is just to have 7 meals.
Now, next to each meal, write down the ingredients--all of them. Look through your cabinets and fridge and cross off the stuff you already have. The remainder is now your shopping list for the week. (Add in milk, cereal, lunch meat,etc. as needed). Now, when you get home from work, you know what your meal options are, and have everything you need. You probably won't have to worry about sales or coupons, because you will waste a lot less food when you only buy what you know you will use. (If I use half a bag of shredded cheddar cheese for omelets this week, I will plan on making quesadillas or something next week to use up the rest of the cheese)
(Bonus points: Every week or two look up a new recipe online you'd like to try--maybe even ask the kiddo what she wants to try new--and work it into the schedule. If it's good, add it to your list of stuff you know how to make, and use it again. )
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 10:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
First, make a list of all the meals you know how to make. (Everything! Pancakes are great for supper, and so is just hummus, pita, and carrot sticks.)
Then, sit down with that list, and a blank piece of paper. On the blank piece of paper, label it monday, tuesday, etc. for the week. Look at your list of what you know how to make, and pick something out for each day. Plan a few 'nice' suppers and a couple easy ones depending on your schedule. (Have plans Wednesday night? Frozen pizza!) Now, these aren't going to be written in stone, so feel free to swap them around during the week as needed. The goal is just to have 7 meals.
Now, next to each meal, write down the ingredients--all of them. Look through your cabinets and fridge and cross off the stuff you already have. The remainder is now your shopping list for the week. (Add in milk, cereal, lunch meat,etc. as needed). Now, when you get home from work, you know what your meal options are, and have everything you need. You probably won't have to worry about sales or coupons, because you will waste a lot less food when you only buy what you know you will use. (If I use half a bag of shredded cheddar cheese for omelets this week, I will plan on making quesadillas or something next week to use up the rest of the cheese)
(Bonus points: Every week or two look up a new recipe online you'd like to try--maybe even ask the kiddo what she wants to try new--and work it into the schedule. If it's good, add it to your list of stuff you know how to make, and use it again. )
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 10:06 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Try not to beat yourself up about this. Your kid being a picky eater is about her and not about your cooking. And from the sounds of it, you are cooking, it's just that what you're doing doesn't live up to the image of your head of what Cooking looks like, and so you're not giving yourself enough credit. Neither of my parents have ever liked to cook, and I didn't even realize that until one of them mentioned it to me in high school, because they always got some kind of food on the table for dinner and that was all that registered to me.
Anyway, AskMe is a good resource for recipes, but there are so many that it can be a bit overwhelming sorting through them, so I pulled 3 threads for you that might be helpful. They're all questions focusing on easy and quick recipes (albeit the crockpot recipes have a slightly different definition of "quick" than the stir fry recipes):
Crockpot Newbie
Easy Recipes
Healthy Quick Food
posted by colfax at 10:13 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Anyway, AskMe is a good resource for recipes, but there are so many that it can be a bit overwhelming sorting through them, so I pulled 3 threads for you that might be helpful. They're all questions focusing on easy and quick recipes (albeit the crockpot recipes have a slightly different definition of "quick" than the stir fry recipes):
Crockpot Newbie
Easy Recipes
Healthy Quick Food
posted by colfax at 10:13 PM on January 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
As a kid, I strongly disliked any ground meat product, because it was ground bits of unidentifiable tissue.
In fact, I still feel this way. I very rarely eat sausages or ground beef, and I never eat luncheon meats, like bologna. It's just yucky. Or any pork products.
(That said, I loved and still do love liver -- yes, it's organ meat, but it's one organ, not a mishmash.)
Kid may have a real reason that some things disgust her.
posted by orthogonality at 10:39 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
In fact, I still feel this way. I very rarely eat sausages or ground beef, and I never eat luncheon meats, like bologna. It's just yucky. Or any pork products.
(That said, I loved and still do love liver -- yes, it's organ meat, but it's one organ, not a mishmash.)
Kid may have a real reason that some things disgust her.
posted by orthogonality at 10:39 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
You know how to cook. It sounds like you don't really enjoy it very much, but you can quit beating yourself up about not being able to cook.
I was an unbelievably picky kid weighing in at the very lowest end of the healthy spectrum of weight for my scrawny little frame. The only insight I can give you is that it is absolutely about power, but for me, it was subconscious at that age. Remember that your little one isn't trying to torture you.
I will say that I picked up on all this anxiety from my parents that I was going to staaaarrrrvvve, and their frantic attempts to get food into me (with frustration turning to anger) made me more stubborn and frankly, irritated. That's when the power struggle started to get somewhat conscious.
On the other hand, the clever things my mom did to get protein and calories into me were both brilliant and NOT a source of rebellion, even when I knew the score. Milkshakes with an egg slipped in. Oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies made with extra oatmeal and a little wheat germ AND extra chips.
posted by desuetude at 10:46 PM on January 31, 2011
I was an unbelievably picky kid weighing in at the very lowest end of the healthy spectrum of weight for my scrawny little frame. The only insight I can give you is that it is absolutely about power, but for me, it was subconscious at that age. Remember that your little one isn't trying to torture you.
I will say that I picked up on all this anxiety from my parents that I was going to staaaarrrrvvve, and their frantic attempts to get food into me (with frustration turning to anger) made me more stubborn and frankly, irritated. That's when the power struggle started to get somewhat conscious.
On the other hand, the clever things my mom did to get protein and calories into me were both brilliant and NOT a source of rebellion, even when I knew the score. Milkshakes with an egg slipped in. Oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies made with extra oatmeal and a little wheat germ AND extra chips.
posted by desuetude at 10:46 PM on January 31, 2011
Just seeing what's on sale or what looks fresh and coming up with some meals is more difficult than it sounds - you've got to have seasonal repertoires of recipes and a good idea of how to substitute ingredients, and the ability to be creative when someone's trolley is in your personal space.
Making meal plans is easier - you can do it in the evening at home, or on a quiet afternoon. Have a cup of tea or coffee or a glass of wine while you do it. Choose one new recipe to make each week, then stick with tried and true favourites for the rest. Make a shopping list based on your plan and take it with you - it makes the task easier and faster when you're not having to think up tasty ideas on the spot.
When you find a recipe that works well, see if you can make it in double quantities and freeze half. Then you just have to take the container out of the freezer in the morning, and heat it up in the microwave or in the oven when you get home from work.
Pasta with sauce from a jar; stir-fried frozen veg with slices of chicken; chops or steak with steamed vegetables with a bit of butter on them - all very easy and quick.
posted by harriet vane at 2:46 AM on February 1, 2011
Making meal plans is easier - you can do it in the evening at home, or on a quiet afternoon. Have a cup of tea or coffee or a glass of wine while you do it. Choose one new recipe to make each week, then stick with tried and true favourites for the rest. Make a shopping list based on your plan and take it with you - it makes the task easier and faster when you're not having to think up tasty ideas on the spot.
When you find a recipe that works well, see if you can make it in double quantities and freeze half. Then you just have to take the container out of the freezer in the morning, and heat it up in the microwave or in the oven when you get home from work.
Pasta with sauce from a jar; stir-fried frozen veg with slices of chicken; chops or steak with steamed vegetables with a bit of butter on them - all very easy and quick.
posted by harriet vane at 2:46 AM on February 1, 2011
Also, the easiest and yet most impressive meal is a roast chicken. It can be served with mash and gravy, or a green salad, or steamed veg, or whatever else you like. Once it's in the oven it doesn't take up your attention. It does take a while, but if you do it on the weekend with a large bird (or two smaller ones) you could put the leftovers in sandwiches or with some more steamed veg/salad etc.
Nigella's basic roast chicken is amazingly easy: rub the chicken with olive oil, shove half a lemon up it's bum. I don't do the 'blast for 15 mins' part (it's not in my copy of the book) and mine always come out perfectly.
posted by harriet vane at 2:53 AM on February 1, 2011
Nigella's basic roast chicken is amazingly easy: rub the chicken with olive oil, shove half a lemon up it's bum. I don't do the 'blast for 15 mins' part (it's not in my copy of the book) and mine always come out perfectly.
posted by harriet vane at 2:53 AM on February 1, 2011
I pretty much never cook from recipes, and I cook nearly every dinner from scratch. The key is forcing yourself to cook regularly until you develop a sort of instinct for what goes with what. Once you have that instinct, you can usually combine a couple of ingredients and have a great meal in 20 minutes.
To facilitate this, when I go shopping I don't buy stuff from a list of ingredients in a recipe, rather - I have a standard set of ingredients at home that I should always have. The pantry should have various noodles, grains, canned or jarred tomatoes/other veggies, flour, etc, and other than that I should have some frozen meat, basic fresh veggies (potatoes, salad-type veggies, zucchini), and then dairy stuff. Get familiar with how to store things so they last and freeze them when they're about to go bad. I know this all sort of sounds to start like a lot to do, but once you're ussed to it every shopping trip is a quick and automatic exercise of topping up whatever you're running low on (and one or two special things you might be in the mood for), and not an exercise in indecision.
From this supply you can always throw a meal together easil. Yesterday I was in a hurry so it was rice in the rice cooker (2-3 minutes that required my attention), and sauteed zucchini with rosemary, bacon, and feta - (15 minutes.) Delicious and enough leftovers for the next day.
A final thing to remember is to spend some real money and buy good ingredients. With good ingredients, very simple meals will stand on their own without the need for elaborate voodoo rituals to enrich their taste.
Last thing: There is some simple and amazingly time saving technology out there - get a crock pot/rice cooker/slow cooker. These can all make amazing meals that involve 10 minutes of chopping and a button-press.
posted by tempythethird at 3:22 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
To facilitate this, when I go shopping I don't buy stuff from a list of ingredients in a recipe, rather - I have a standard set of ingredients at home that I should always have. The pantry should have various noodles, grains, canned or jarred tomatoes/other veggies, flour, etc, and other than that I should have some frozen meat, basic fresh veggies (potatoes, salad-type veggies, zucchini), and then dairy stuff. Get familiar with how to store things so they last and freeze them when they're about to go bad. I know this all sort of sounds to start like a lot to do, but once you're ussed to it every shopping trip is a quick and automatic exercise of topping up whatever you're running low on (and one or two special things you might be in the mood for), and not an exercise in indecision.
From this supply you can always throw a meal together easil. Yesterday I was in a hurry so it was rice in the rice cooker (2-3 minutes that required my attention), and sauteed zucchini with rosemary, bacon, and feta - (15 minutes.) Delicious and enough leftovers for the next day.
A final thing to remember is to spend some real money and buy good ingredients. With good ingredients, very simple meals will stand on their own without the need for elaborate voodoo rituals to enrich their taste.
Last thing: There is some simple and amazingly time saving technology out there - get a crock pot/rice cooker/slow cooker. These can all make amazing meals that involve 10 minutes of chopping and a button-press.
posted by tempythethird at 3:22 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
I *am* a good cook, and can conjure recipes from scratch, and can stroll the meat aisle for loss leader items and think immediately of half a dozen meal plans built around them, and all the other things you are jealous of.
And yet. And yet.
When my kids were younger, and I was a single mom and always exhausted and knew I would have to clean up whatever mess I made, and they were picky, etc. etc., I did a lot less "from scratch" cooking than I do now (or did when I was childfree). We ate lots of hamburger helper, rice-a-roni, boxed mac-n-cheese, frozen french fries, and jarred spaghetti sauce. This is probably an abomination to the Mark Bittmans and Jamie Olivers of the world, but ... screw them.
Kids, as you've come to realize, and particularly at that age, thrive on familiarity. They enjoy watching the same movie 25 times, reading the same story 100 times, going to the same park and play on the same three pieces of playground equipment every day for years. I think having a pantry full of familiar meal starters might be one way to build up a cooking habit using a steady routine of drop-dead easy dishes that don't require a lot of effort either in the making or in the planning.
Think of them as training wheels to becoming a natural in the kitchen!
posted by SomeTrickPony at 4:08 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
And yet. And yet.
When my kids were younger, and I was a single mom and always exhausted and knew I would have to clean up whatever mess I made, and they were picky, etc. etc., I did a lot less "from scratch" cooking than I do now (or did when I was childfree). We ate lots of hamburger helper, rice-a-roni, boxed mac-n-cheese, frozen french fries, and jarred spaghetti sauce. This is probably an abomination to the Mark Bittmans and Jamie Olivers of the world, but ... screw them.
Kids, as you've come to realize, and particularly at that age, thrive on familiarity. They enjoy watching the same movie 25 times, reading the same story 100 times, going to the same park and play on the same three pieces of playground equipment every day for years. I think having a pantry full of familiar meal starters might be one way to build up a cooking habit using a steady routine of drop-dead easy dishes that don't require a lot of effort either in the making or in the planning.
Think of them as training wheels to becoming a natural in the kitchen!
posted by SomeTrickPony at 4:08 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
I actually love to cook, but I watch a good amount of cooking shows on the food channels (we have two through our cable co., Food Network and Cooking Channel). I'm a big fan of Rachel Ray and others similar who are quick and easy and affordable. Stay away from the Martha's and the Barefoot Contessa's until you gain more confidence in the kitchen. But even shows like Iron Chef will show you tips and tricks and they will start to change the way you think and feel about cooking. I was lucky to have a mom and grandmom who were always in the kitchen and loved having me there, so I developed a healthy relationship with cooking early, but seriously, just watching food shows on TV opened up worlds for me, and there are so many cooking shows for a variety of tastes/skill levels. Something like Iron Chef or Top Chef might be fun to watch with the kids too, since it's a game already. I think if you develop a couple of basic skills/tricks in the kitchen, those will be doorways to better meals and will boost your confidence. And you should definitely work out a deal with your kids/partner that whoever cooks doesn't have to clean!
posted by archimago at 5:26 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by archimago at 5:26 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
I plan my meals like this:
Monday. Meat Veg Starch
Tuesday. Leftovers
Wednesday. Meat Veg Starch
Thursday. Leftovers
Friday. Meat Veg Starch OR Freezer leftovers every other week
Saturday. Something fun like Pizza or or Ribs or Pan-Fried Steak
Sunday. Crockpot
That's 3 meals I have to cook for the week plus throw something in the crockpot. Meat veg starch can be Meatloaf, peas, and mashed potatoes or Spaghetti and meatballs or Roast Chicken and carrots with salad. Learn how to roast a chicken because that is easy and delicious and inexpensive.
1) Brine chicken overnight. In a pot big enough to hold chicken and 2 quarts of water, put in 1/4 C of kosher salt (not regular salt) and 1/4 C of brown sugar. Pour 2 Cups of hot water over the salt/sugar and stir until dissolved. Add 6 Cups of cold water and a cut up lemon or tangerine or orange if you have one (you can omit this if you don't.) Put the whole chicken in and press down to submerge.
2) Heat oven to 400. Take chicken out of brine and rinse, pat dry. Place breast side up in a 13 by 9 baking dish. Add in a few cut-up carrots, potatoes, and/or parsnips. Rub a little butter under the loose skin on the breast of the chicken. Stick a meat thermometer into the meat of the breast. Roast. Baste every so often, spooning the butter/fat/meat juice over the veg and the chicken. Remove from oven when thermometer reaches 170. Let sit for 10 minutes or so under foil while you set the table and round up the family.
On "Crockpot days" you just need to throw some food into the crockpot 6 to 8 hours before you want to eat it. This frees you up to spend your Sunday with your family. Saturday night is "Help Mommy Cook" Night. Get your husband and daughter to help out by basting ribs with BarBQ sauce, or opening can of biscuits and putting on the pan or tearing lettuce up for salad.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:20 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
Monday. Meat Veg Starch
Tuesday. Leftovers
Wednesday. Meat Veg Starch
Thursday. Leftovers
Friday. Meat Veg Starch OR Freezer leftovers every other week
Saturday. Something fun like Pizza or or Ribs or Pan-Fried Steak
Sunday. Crockpot
That's 3 meals I have to cook for the week plus throw something in the crockpot. Meat veg starch can be Meatloaf, peas, and mashed potatoes or Spaghetti and meatballs or Roast Chicken and carrots with salad. Learn how to roast a chicken because that is easy and delicious and inexpensive.
1) Brine chicken overnight. In a pot big enough to hold chicken and 2 quarts of water, put in 1/4 C of kosher salt (not regular salt) and 1/4 C of brown sugar. Pour 2 Cups of hot water over the salt/sugar and stir until dissolved. Add 6 Cups of cold water and a cut up lemon or tangerine or orange if you have one (you can omit this if you don't.) Put the whole chicken in and press down to submerge.
2) Heat oven to 400. Take chicken out of brine and rinse, pat dry. Place breast side up in a 13 by 9 baking dish. Add in a few cut-up carrots, potatoes, and/or parsnips. Rub a little butter under the loose skin on the breast of the chicken. Stick a meat thermometer into the meat of the breast. Roast. Baste every so often, spooning the butter/fat/meat juice over the veg and the chicken. Remove from oven when thermometer reaches 170. Let sit for 10 minutes or so under foil while you set the table and round up the family.
On "Crockpot days" you just need to throw some food into the crockpot 6 to 8 hours before you want to eat it. This frees you up to spend your Sunday with your family. Saturday night is "Help Mommy Cook" Night. Get your husband and daughter to help out by basting ribs with BarBQ sauce, or opening can of biscuits and putting on the pan or tearing lettuce up for salad.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:20 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
One of the problems with the rice crispies is that they may be full of sugar and other stuff that might not be so good for her.
My kids- who are all grown- could have as many peanut butter sandwiches as they wanted instead of whatever I'd made for supper. We always had whole grain bread and unadulterated peanut butter from the health food store. They could also have cheese sandwiches, milk, nuts, and fruit and raw vegetables in unlimited quantities.
One favorite supper that was really easy was french bread pizza. Slice the loaf horizontally, spread on sauce from a jar, cheese, whatever else you want, stick it under the broiler for a few minutes and presto, a reasonably healthy filling meal.
posted by mareli at 6:21 AM on February 1, 2011
My kids- who are all grown- could have as many peanut butter sandwiches as they wanted instead of whatever I'd made for supper. We always had whole grain bread and unadulterated peanut butter from the health food store. They could also have cheese sandwiches, milk, nuts, and fruit and raw vegetables in unlimited quantities.
One favorite supper that was really easy was french bread pizza. Slice the loaf horizontally, spread on sauce from a jar, cheese, whatever else you want, stick it under the broiler for a few minutes and presto, a reasonably healthy filling meal.
posted by mareli at 6:21 AM on February 1, 2011
I'm a mom to a 2-and-a-half year old. I enjoy cooking, but my daughter barely ever eats what I make. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Then I remember, it's my job to offer healthy food; it's her job to eat it. I don't know if it's a power struggle (probably not) or a sensory issue (not likely) or that she just is the type of person who doesn't venture past her comfort zone (probably--like her dad) but that's really irrelevant.
Take last night: I made baked chicken cutlets, green beans, edamame, riced cauliflower (you process cauliflower till it's little tiny pieces and steam it) and carrot-raisin salad. She ate a few pieces of chicken, unwrapped some edamame, tried a bite of cauliflower and refused the rest. Then, later, she ate three or four whole carrots and a quarter of an apple. That was fine with me.
She knows what she doesn't like (mashed potatoes) and what she likes (pancakes, spaghetti, pizza, Japanese food, chicken, fish, macaroni and cheese). So I work those into my rotation and introduce a couple of new things (different ways to fix vegetables, a new type of fish, a new seasoning on meat) a week. I also try to make things like pancakes healthier by using whole wheat flour or oat flour that I make myself rather than regular white flour.
Planning a week's meals is something I look forward to. I take about an hour each week thinking about what's on sale and making meals out of it, before I go to the store. I also match up my coupons to sale items. It's really that easy. Then, I have my plan for the week.
While I do want my child to eat what's offered to her, if she just doesn't want it, I will offer a granola bar (what we call a Nutrigrain bar) and a piece of fruit or vegetable that I know she likes. That's always an alternative, like how other parents offer a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter sandwich.
I have also found that what used to be a hit three months ago--such as black olives--she won't touch with a 10-foot pole now. I can't explain that, other than she's just a little kid and that's what they do.
I have had my daughter "help" me in the kitchen, and it's not always a slam-dunk that she'll want to try what we've made.
Another tip: Are your children drinking too much? Are they not hungry because they are drinking water, juice or milk before their meal? I have a friend whose toddler LOVES drinking and would probably subsist on a liquid diet if she didn't limit the drinking.
I don't think what you're experiencing is out of the norm. Unless your children have a issue that is affecting their health, like losing weight, it will be fine.
posted by FergieBelle at 6:22 AM on February 1, 2011
Take last night: I made baked chicken cutlets, green beans, edamame, riced cauliflower (you process cauliflower till it's little tiny pieces and steam it) and carrot-raisin salad. She ate a few pieces of chicken, unwrapped some edamame, tried a bite of cauliflower and refused the rest. Then, later, she ate three or four whole carrots and a quarter of an apple. That was fine with me.
She knows what she doesn't like (mashed potatoes) and what she likes (pancakes, spaghetti, pizza, Japanese food, chicken, fish, macaroni and cheese). So I work those into my rotation and introduce a couple of new things (different ways to fix vegetables, a new type of fish, a new seasoning on meat) a week. I also try to make things like pancakes healthier by using whole wheat flour or oat flour that I make myself rather than regular white flour.
Planning a week's meals is something I look forward to. I take about an hour each week thinking about what's on sale and making meals out of it, before I go to the store. I also match up my coupons to sale items. It's really that easy. Then, I have my plan for the week.
While I do want my child to eat what's offered to her, if she just doesn't want it, I will offer a granola bar (what we call a Nutrigrain bar) and a piece of fruit or vegetable that I know she likes. That's always an alternative, like how other parents offer a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter sandwich.
I have also found that what used to be a hit three months ago--such as black olives--she won't touch with a 10-foot pole now. I can't explain that, other than she's just a little kid and that's what they do.
I have had my daughter "help" me in the kitchen, and it's not always a slam-dunk that she'll want to try what we've made.
Another tip: Are your children drinking too much? Are they not hungry because they are drinking water, juice or milk before their meal? I have a friend whose toddler LOVES drinking and would probably subsist on a liquid diet if she didn't limit the drinking.
I don't think what you're experiencing is out of the norm. Unless your children have a issue that is affecting their health, like losing weight, it will be fine.
posted by FergieBelle at 6:22 AM on February 1, 2011
I can't tell from what you post, but does your child go to daycare or a babysitter's during the day? Or are you a stay-at-home parent? I ask because I wonder how your child behaves at meal times when not at home? Does she thow down with the "I HATE XXXXX" option there? If not, then I suggest that she's doing it at home because she knows she's got quite a bit of control over the situation and is loudly exercising that control.
If that's the case, consider this: Ignore her and her antics or put her in time out. Would you tolerate that kind of tantrum over being told she couldn't have a toy she spotted in the store? If not, then why put up with that behavior over dinner?
I'm a foster parent and my little kiddo came with food issues that put yours to shame. Kiddo's issues with food are somewhat texture related and a lot abuse related. It took months for kiddo to understand that refusing to eat dinner would not result in a punch to the head. I love food and I have never seen a child say "I'm hungry", hear the tummy growling and then shut down and refuse to eat when dinner is put in reach. Trying to get kiddo to eat at dinner (just at dinner) was a challenge and can still be so 18 months into this relationship. However, we recognized that a) letting a child skip a meal is not going to hurt the child and b) Kiddo was filling up earlier in the day on breakfast, lunch and two snacks. Kiddo is now 4, btw.
I'm not a short order chef. I fix one meal for the whole family. You either eat it or you don't. That's your choice. If I'm cooking dinner, I don't give the kids negotiation or control over picking a different meal. I do ask for suggestions from them before I cook though. The control I give them once the meal is underway is to choose to eat or not. Here's what I recommend:
1. Use time outs for the tantrums.
2. Fix a family meal. Solicit ideas from the family before you start cooking. Sometimes I do this a day in advance. Sometimes, I ask over breakfast. It is rare for me to ask for ideas late in the day.
3. When serving your child, give her VERY small portions. Give her a teaspoon scoop of the new item or less preferred food. By giving her small portions, you are not overwhelming her with the thought of "OMG I can't eat that much!" Instead, she sees a small bite that if she eats it disappears pretty quickly. The advantage to you is that less food will be wasted if she doesn't eat something. If she wants more, give her another small portion.
4. Continue introducing the same food over and over. It may take 10 or more "introductions" before a child decides to like a food. It took about 8 months before Kiddo declared that carrots were yummy. After the new food is declared yummy, then start introducing other flavors to that food. For example, we had simple honeyed carrots for those 8 months. After the "yummy" statement, then I started adding dill or cumin or cinnamon or other strong flavors to the carrots.
5. If the child objects to the food, ask for a single "no thank you" bite. This way, the child gets to taste the food again. If the bite is taken, you thank the child and move on. There should be no consequences other than leaving the table hungry for the child refusing to eat what you cook. Remember, hungry is not going to harm your child. It may make her cranky, but that's what bedtime resolves. A couple of nights going hungry and she'll start to figure it out. Also a couple of nights of time outs for the tantrum but no reaction to polite refusal will also sink in.
6. Don't sabotage yourself by letting your child snack after dinner time or getting you to serve her a different meal.
7. As much as I personally hate ketchup, it has helped get many a child to eat something. Let her have a condiment to dip food into if it helps. We've been able to branch Kiddo out beyond ketchup into BBQ sauce, chutney and even pickapeppa sauce. Once Kiddo regularly eats something with the condiment, there are nights when I'll say "we're not having ketchup tonight" and Kiddo eats the food without the condiment.
One thing that we were surprised with when figuring out how to get Kiddo to eat was that we discovered Kiddo LOVES strong or complex flavors. Kiddo loves spicy food too. So, we quickly introduced curries, chile and many flavors from cuisines around the world. Kiddo actually asked for posole for dinner on Sunday. It was good and spicy and Kiddo ate the entire amount I served.
Good luck. Have patience (God, I know how hard that can be) and stick to your guns. She can quickly learn that her tantrums won't get what she wants. Don't engage in a fight with her.
posted by onhazier at 6:48 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
If that's the case, consider this: Ignore her and her antics or put her in time out. Would you tolerate that kind of tantrum over being told she couldn't have a toy she spotted in the store? If not, then why put up with that behavior over dinner?
I'm a foster parent and my little kiddo came with food issues that put yours to shame. Kiddo's issues with food are somewhat texture related and a lot abuse related. It took months for kiddo to understand that refusing to eat dinner would not result in a punch to the head. I love food and I have never seen a child say "I'm hungry", hear the tummy growling and then shut down and refuse to eat when dinner is put in reach. Trying to get kiddo to eat at dinner (just at dinner) was a challenge and can still be so 18 months into this relationship. However, we recognized that a) letting a child skip a meal is not going to hurt the child and b) Kiddo was filling up earlier in the day on breakfast, lunch and two snacks. Kiddo is now 4, btw.
I'm not a short order chef. I fix one meal for the whole family. You either eat it or you don't. That's your choice. If I'm cooking dinner, I don't give the kids negotiation or control over picking a different meal. I do ask for suggestions from them before I cook though. The control I give them once the meal is underway is to choose to eat or not. Here's what I recommend:
1. Use time outs for the tantrums.
2. Fix a family meal. Solicit ideas from the family before you start cooking. Sometimes I do this a day in advance. Sometimes, I ask over breakfast. It is rare for me to ask for ideas late in the day.
3. When serving your child, give her VERY small portions. Give her a teaspoon scoop of the new item or less preferred food. By giving her small portions, you are not overwhelming her with the thought of "OMG I can't eat that much!" Instead, she sees a small bite that if she eats it disappears pretty quickly. The advantage to you is that less food will be wasted if she doesn't eat something. If she wants more, give her another small portion.
4. Continue introducing the same food over and over. It may take 10 or more "introductions" before a child decides to like a food. It took about 8 months before Kiddo declared that carrots were yummy. After the new food is declared yummy, then start introducing other flavors to that food. For example, we had simple honeyed carrots for those 8 months. After the "yummy" statement, then I started adding dill or cumin or cinnamon or other strong flavors to the carrots.
5. If the child objects to the food, ask for a single "no thank you" bite. This way, the child gets to taste the food again. If the bite is taken, you thank the child and move on. There should be no consequences other than leaving the table hungry for the child refusing to eat what you cook. Remember, hungry is not going to harm your child. It may make her cranky, but that's what bedtime resolves. A couple of nights going hungry and she'll start to figure it out. Also a couple of nights of time outs for the tantrum but no reaction to polite refusal will also sink in.
6. Don't sabotage yourself by letting your child snack after dinner time or getting you to serve her a different meal.
7. As much as I personally hate ketchup, it has helped get many a child to eat something. Let her have a condiment to dip food into if it helps. We've been able to branch Kiddo out beyond ketchup into BBQ sauce, chutney and even pickapeppa sauce. Once Kiddo regularly eats something with the condiment, there are nights when I'll say "we're not having ketchup tonight" and Kiddo eats the food without the condiment.
One thing that we were surprised with when figuring out how to get Kiddo to eat was that we discovered Kiddo LOVES strong or complex flavors. Kiddo loves spicy food too. So, we quickly introduced curries, chile and many flavors from cuisines around the world. Kiddo actually asked for posole for dinner on Sunday. It was good and spicy and Kiddo ate the entire amount I served.
Good luck. Have patience (God, I know how hard that can be) and stick to your guns. She can quickly learn that her tantrums won't get what she wants. Don't engage in a fight with her.
posted by onhazier at 6:48 AM on February 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
In addition to many of the other great suggestions, you might consider trying "build you own" meals--they're usually pretty easy, it would give the kid more of a sense of control over her meal, and you could have a bit more variety. That's what my mother had to do for us when we were growing up; she had three picky eaters. My little sis wouldn't eat meat, my brother wouldn't eat vegetables, and I had strange texture issues.
Something like tacos, for example. If you can cook hamburger, you can cook taco meat. And then rather than giving her a taco, you have shells, meat, cheese, sour cream, veggies (eg lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc.--whatever you want). She gets to put the ingredients together however she wants, you get to eat a real meal. A baked potato bar kind of thing is another option. These kind of meals also let you add some variety/spice to your cooking without going too far out of your comfort zone. Use chicken one week instead of hamburger meat; make beans or rice; try sautéing some onions or peppers, so on and so forth. (And, picky children aside, the leftover additions can be used to throw together a meal the next day, e.g. leftover rice can be thrown into a skillet with some veggies and an egg for fried rice).
If you're not much into cooking and are busy/tired a lot, the usual best strategy is to have a couple of go-to dishes that are easily modified based on your mood and what you have in the kitchen.
Also: salad dressing. Cover some kind of meat in some kind of salad dressing and throw it in the oven/in a saute pan/in the microwave and you have dinner. Variations: 1) put it in a plastic bag with some flour, salt, and maybe some crunched up chex/corn flakes/non-sugar cereal of your choice and shake it until it's covered, then throw it in a pan with some oil and pan fry it. 2) sautee it with some garlic, onions, and maybe peppers and put it in a tortilla shell with whatever your favorite taco/fajita ingredients are. 3) throw some quartered potatoes (if you use red you don't need to peel them!) and veggies in an oven pan with your meat and make a roast. Dry onion soup mix can also be one of your best friends--it's great with red meats and potatoes. (I've never tried it with white meats, but that would probably be good too.)
posted by kittenmarlowe at 9:21 AM on February 1, 2011
Something like tacos, for example. If you can cook hamburger, you can cook taco meat. And then rather than giving her a taco, you have shells, meat, cheese, sour cream, veggies (eg lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc.--whatever you want). She gets to put the ingredients together however she wants, you get to eat a real meal. A baked potato bar kind of thing is another option. These kind of meals also let you add some variety/spice to your cooking without going too far out of your comfort zone. Use chicken one week instead of hamburger meat; make beans or rice; try sautéing some onions or peppers, so on and so forth. (And, picky children aside, the leftover additions can be used to throw together a meal the next day, e.g. leftover rice can be thrown into a skillet with some veggies and an egg for fried rice).
If you're not much into cooking and are busy/tired a lot, the usual best strategy is to have a couple of go-to dishes that are easily modified based on your mood and what you have in the kitchen.
Also: salad dressing. Cover some kind of meat in some kind of salad dressing and throw it in the oven/in a saute pan/in the microwave and you have dinner. Variations: 1) put it in a plastic bag with some flour, salt, and maybe some crunched up chex/corn flakes/non-sugar cereal of your choice and shake it until it's covered, then throw it in a pan with some oil and pan fry it. 2) sautee it with some garlic, onions, and maybe peppers and put it in a tortilla shell with whatever your favorite taco/fajita ingredients are. 3) throw some quartered potatoes (if you use red you don't need to peel them!) and veggies in an oven pan with your meat and make a roast. Dry onion soup mix can also be one of your best friends--it's great with red meats and potatoes. (I've never tried it with white meats, but that would probably be good too.)
posted by kittenmarlowe at 9:21 AM on February 1, 2011
Stay away from the Martha's and the Barefoot Contessa's
Actually, Ina Garten gave me some of my best quick-and-easy meal concepts ever. She's probably the one (along with maybe Jaime Oliver) who broke my "Cooking Is A Big Event" way of thinking about food.
If you notice, she doesn't cook every single little thing from scratch. She cooks one thing from scratch and surrounds it with other stuff that doesn't even need cooking. Or sometimes she doesn't even do the thing from scratch, she builds a meal out of various things that either come pre-prepared or need minimal assembly.
There is nothing wrong with having a big plate of hummus, stuff to dip in it (veggies, quartered pita), olives, cheese, and maybe some tabbouleh or something for dinner. It might not be "cooking" by some people's standards, but it's still perfectly nutritious and affordable food.
You can adapt this to what your daughter will eat, of course. Garten uses a lot of fancy ingredients to obscure the fact that her technique is not really different from Sandra Lee's, but it's basically the same concept. Sometimes assembling is every bit is as good as cooking. Especially when you are tired and the object of your preparations is a small person who doesn't know the difference.
posted by Sara C. at 9:58 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Actually, Ina Garten gave me some of my best quick-and-easy meal concepts ever. She's probably the one (along with maybe Jaime Oliver) who broke my "Cooking Is A Big Event" way of thinking about food.
If you notice, she doesn't cook every single little thing from scratch. She cooks one thing from scratch and surrounds it with other stuff that doesn't even need cooking. Or sometimes she doesn't even do the thing from scratch, she builds a meal out of various things that either come pre-prepared or need minimal assembly.
There is nothing wrong with having a big plate of hummus, stuff to dip in it (veggies, quartered pita), olives, cheese, and maybe some tabbouleh or something for dinner. It might not be "cooking" by some people's standards, but it's still perfectly nutritious and affordable food.
You can adapt this to what your daughter will eat, of course. Garten uses a lot of fancy ingredients to obscure the fact that her technique is not really different from Sandra Lee's, but it's basically the same concept. Sometimes assembling is every bit is as good as cooking. Especially when you are tired and the object of your preparations is a small person who doesn't know the difference.
posted by Sara C. at 9:58 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Other fast dinner ideas - breakfast foods (burritos with or without scrambled eggs, healthy pancakes, hash, fried potatoes (great for leftover boiled potatoes too)) and eggs in general. When my parents were stressed we'd always have omelets or scrambled eggs. We got to pick our own toppings (ham, green peppers, cheese, onions) and my dad would fried them up specifically for each of us. Plus whole wheat toast. I'm also, one of these days, going to make a frittata and put it in the freezer so that I'll have a quick meal whenever I want.
posted by hydrobatidae at 10:24 AM on February 1, 2011
posted by hydrobatidae at 10:24 AM on February 1, 2011
i'm going to have to agree with those who say, "skipping an occasional meal won't starve the kid." cook, and if they don't want to eat it, fine, no problem, but also no snacks. be sure you're not snacking them to fullness (or letting them drink a bunch of milk and juice). a 4 year old's stomach is not that big. and hunger is the best seasoning.
posted by woodvine at 10:25 AM on February 1, 2011
posted by woodvine at 10:25 AM on February 1, 2011
Here's how I meal plan. I have a word doc with tables. It's called The Recipe List. My categories are Chicken, Pork & Fish, Sides, Soups, Pasta, Casseroles, Misc (I don't eat or cook beef). Under each is a list of recipes that I've collected and refined over YEARS (so if you start this, don't feel like you have to come up with 50 recipes right away or anything).
I grocery shop every other Sunday, so I meal plan for two weeks at a time. We do have to pop into the grocery for milk & fresh veggies occasionally between big trips.
Every other Saturday before a big grocery trip, I take notebook paper and write out the days of the week in the left margin, double spaced. Repeat so there's two weeks there. Immediately, all the T-days (both tues & thursdays) are filled in with CEREAL. We plan it right in there. For us, cereal days are usually cereal, but it really means "feed your damn self." Could be a microwave dinner, canned soup, cold hot dogs straight from the package, PBJ - I really don't care. My 5 year old son is giddy for cereal days.
For the rest of the days, I look over my recipe list and fill in what looks good. I tend to roast a chicken or a pork tenderloin on some Sundays. This means leftover chicken for a meal to be used on Monday & leftover pork for lunch the next day. I try to alternate the categories - if soup on Monday, then fish on Wednesday, chicken on Friday, casserole on Saturday, etc - but I don't have a strict plan. I tend to be pretty lax about planning starch & veg. I rely on a regular rotation of white rice, brown rice, & some form of potato for starch, and green beans, broccoli, asparagus, cauli, salad, & roasted carrots for veg. That's something I'm working on.
Every now and then I get the itch to search for new recipes. I'll try a few and they may be added to the list. Sometimes I realize as I'm eating a regular meal that I really don't love it, my kid hates it, and my husband never cares. I swear he has no taste buds. So that meal will get eliminated.
I keep all my recipes in a big 3 ring binder. I make a grocery list with my just-finished menu in front of me, and my recipe binder nearby. I write down the things I know we need, then I flip thru the binder and look at the recipes I've chosen to make sure I haven't forgotten any relatively obscure or rarely used ingredients.
I have a ton of regular recipes that I think are pretty damn easy and good. But there are a lot of them and I don't have a blog to link to. Should I post some?
posted by peep at 10:29 AM on February 1, 2011
I grocery shop every other Sunday, so I meal plan for two weeks at a time. We do have to pop into the grocery for milk & fresh veggies occasionally between big trips.
Every other Saturday before a big grocery trip, I take notebook paper and write out the days of the week in the left margin, double spaced. Repeat so there's two weeks there. Immediately, all the T-days (both tues & thursdays) are filled in with CEREAL. We plan it right in there. For us, cereal days are usually cereal, but it really means "feed your damn self." Could be a microwave dinner, canned soup, cold hot dogs straight from the package, PBJ - I really don't care. My 5 year old son is giddy for cereal days.
For the rest of the days, I look over my recipe list and fill in what looks good. I tend to roast a chicken or a pork tenderloin on some Sundays. This means leftover chicken for a meal to be used on Monday & leftover pork for lunch the next day. I try to alternate the categories - if soup on Monday, then fish on Wednesday, chicken on Friday, casserole on Saturday, etc - but I don't have a strict plan. I tend to be pretty lax about planning starch & veg. I rely on a regular rotation of white rice, brown rice, & some form of potato for starch, and green beans, broccoli, asparagus, cauli, salad, & roasted carrots for veg. That's something I'm working on.
Every now and then I get the itch to search for new recipes. I'll try a few and they may be added to the list. Sometimes I realize as I'm eating a regular meal that I really don't love it, my kid hates it, and my husband never cares. I swear he has no taste buds. So that meal will get eliminated.
I keep all my recipes in a big 3 ring binder. I make a grocery list with my just-finished menu in front of me, and my recipe binder nearby. I write down the things I know we need, then I flip thru the binder and look at the recipes I've chosen to make sure I haven't forgotten any relatively obscure or rarely used ingredients.
I have a ton of regular recipes that I think are pretty damn easy and good. But there are a lot of them and I don't have a blog to link to. Should I post some?
posted by peep at 10:29 AM on February 1, 2011
Another confident cook chiming in to say that everything is easier if you plan your meals and grocery list in advance. If you want to benefit from grocery store sales, read the ads that come in the newspaper or go online -- most big chains make their sales available in these ways, so you don't have to walk in and rack your brain for what you could cook using a broccoli and what other items you need to go along with it.
Here's my process:
- "Use Up" list: Make a list of any ingredients we have that need to be used up. A few potatoes, a chunk of swiss cheese, half a red pepper, whatever is left from last week's meals that I want to use rather than letting it go bad.
- "Sale" list: If I'm feeling ambitious, go online and make a list of things that are on sale this week that seem like good possibilities -- either exceptionally good prices, or something I know my household likes to eat. This is also good if we don't have much to "use up" and I need some inspiration about where to start.
- "Dinners" list: Next I come up with 5-6 recipes to make for dinner during the week. I start with my "use up" list and either look those ingredients up in my cookbook indexes or google them. If you have any inkling that some of them might go together, google them together. [potatoes "swiss cheese" "red pepper" recipe] pulls up several promising results. Then I add in things I'm hungry for, or feel like trying to cook. You could add things you know your kids will eat.
- Adding to the "Use Up" list: As I choose recipes to use up each ingredient, I pay attention to what I might have to buy that will then be leftover. Need 3 Tbsp of fresh parsley for one meal? Add it to the bottom of the "use up" list because there's a lot more than 3T in a bunch.
- Assign meals to days: Once I have a list of 5-6 dinner options, I look at my weekly schedule and mark each recipe as Monday, Tuesday, etc. Quick and easy things obviously go on the nights when I expect to be busier. I also note where to find the recipe (Betty Crocker cookbook p. 84, bookmarked online, etc.)
- "Shopping" list: Finally I go through each recipe and write down the ingredients on a shopping list. Go through your fridge and cupboards to cross off whatever you've already got on hand, and you're ready to shop.
- I only plan 5-6 meals each week because we usually end up feeling too tired to cook at least once or twice. Make sure to have a frozen pizza or Mac & Cheese on hand for those nights.
As for finding simple recipes, I would recommend getting a basic cookbook. Bittman's How to Cook Everything gets recommended a lot around here, but honestly I've gotten more mileage from The Betty Crocker Cookbook. Not only is it full of easy recipes, each chapter has explanations you can read through when you're confused about something. How do I cook this rice whose instructions got cut off the corner of the bag? If meat cut A is on sale, can I use it instead of cut B that's listed in the recipe? If X, Y, or Z is wrong with the muffins, what should I do differently next time? What's the difference between chop and mince and dice? This book has you covered.
You might also keep an eye out for the small-magazine style cookbooks in the grocery checkout lane. "100 Quick, Easy Weeknight Suppers" isn't the most high-brow food, but it's aimed at busy parents who are trying to keep their kids well-fed. The recipes in these publications are usually quite simple, and often make use of convenience ingredients to save time.
posted by vytae at 11:05 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Here's my process:
- "Use Up" list: Make a list of any ingredients we have that need to be used up. A few potatoes, a chunk of swiss cheese, half a red pepper, whatever is left from last week's meals that I want to use rather than letting it go bad.
- "Sale" list: If I'm feeling ambitious, go online and make a list of things that are on sale this week that seem like good possibilities -- either exceptionally good prices, or something I know my household likes to eat. This is also good if we don't have much to "use up" and I need some inspiration about where to start.
- "Dinners" list: Next I come up with 5-6 recipes to make for dinner during the week. I start with my "use up" list and either look those ingredients up in my cookbook indexes or google them. If you have any inkling that some of them might go together, google them together. [potatoes "swiss cheese" "red pepper" recipe] pulls up several promising results. Then I add in things I'm hungry for, or feel like trying to cook. You could add things you know your kids will eat.
- Adding to the "Use Up" list: As I choose recipes to use up each ingredient, I pay attention to what I might have to buy that will then be leftover. Need 3 Tbsp of fresh parsley for one meal? Add it to the bottom of the "use up" list because there's a lot more than 3T in a bunch.
- Assign meals to days: Once I have a list of 5-6 dinner options, I look at my weekly schedule and mark each recipe as Monday, Tuesday, etc. Quick and easy things obviously go on the nights when I expect to be busier. I also note where to find the recipe (Betty Crocker cookbook p. 84, bookmarked online, etc.)
- "Shopping" list: Finally I go through each recipe and write down the ingredients on a shopping list. Go through your fridge and cupboards to cross off whatever you've already got on hand, and you're ready to shop.
- I only plan 5-6 meals each week because we usually end up feeling too tired to cook at least once or twice. Make sure to have a frozen pizza or Mac & Cheese on hand for those nights.
As for finding simple recipes, I would recommend getting a basic cookbook. Bittman's How to Cook Everything gets recommended a lot around here, but honestly I've gotten more mileage from The Betty Crocker Cookbook. Not only is it full of easy recipes, each chapter has explanations you can read through when you're confused about something. How do I cook this rice whose instructions got cut off the corner of the bag? If meat cut A is on sale, can I use it instead of cut B that's listed in the recipe? If X, Y, or Z is wrong with the muffins, what should I do differently next time? What's the difference between chop and mince and dice? This book has you covered.
You might also keep an eye out for the small-magazine style cookbooks in the grocery checkout lane. "100 Quick, Easy Weeknight Suppers" isn't the most high-brow food, but it's aimed at busy parents who are trying to keep their kids well-fed. The recipes in these publications are usually quite simple, and often make use of convenience ingredients to save time.
posted by vytae at 11:05 AM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
I am not a parent, but I once read something written by a mother with a *very* picky child. She said to the daughter, "What is thing you love most to eat in the world?" and the little girl said, "Ice cream!"
The mother said, "What if you had never tried ice cream? Wouldn't it have been awful, never eating it because you didn't no how great it was?" "Oh, yes," said the little one.
"Well," said the mother, "What if out there you might find other stuff that is just as good or better than ice cream--but you don't know because you never tried it?"
After that, apparently, the little girl agreed to try a very small amount of everything she was offered . . . just in case.
posted by Amy NM at 12:37 PM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
The mother said, "What if you had never tried ice cream? Wouldn't it have been awful, never eating it because you didn't no how great it was?" "Oh, yes," said the little one.
"Well," said the mother, "What if out there you might find other stuff that is just as good or better than ice cream--but you don't know because you never tried it?"
After that, apparently, the little girl agreed to try a very small amount of everything she was offered . . . just in case.
posted by Amy NM at 12:37 PM on February 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by hollyanderbody at 8:49 PM on January 31, 2011