wity text call out
January 29, 2011 10:28 AM   Subscribe

A friend, sent me a text that she in a work "retreat" all day it is really dulll and painfully boring. Please help me think of clever texts to send that are witty and will crack a smile.
posted by jennstra to Grab Bag (9 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: Perhaps some of these short jokes from a previous AskMe might work.
posted by hepta at 10:36 AM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

I would repeatedly text 'poop!', but that's just me.
posted by mazola at 10:46 AM on January 29, 2011 [5 favorites]

mazola, I came in here to suggest random "That's what she said" texts, to apply to whatever the retreat speaker said at that moment. So, no, it's not just you.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:50 AM on January 29, 2011

"Breaking: Work Retreat Hostage Crisis - more at 11"
posted by anemone at 11:19 AM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Really cheesy knock-knock jokes. That way, she has to text you back too, like a game!
posted by functionequalsform at 12:25 PM on January 29, 2011

I'd follow in the footsteps of Brett Favre on this one
posted by Patbon at 12:37 PM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Best answer: String together a bunch of nonsensical corporate dilbertisms from a google search.
posted by webhund at 1:16 PM on January 29, 2011

Best answer: My co-worker was in a similar situation this week. Her training class was three days of epic boredom. From her, we received the following stream-of-conscious texts (among others):

1) " 'Bawitdaba-da-bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the boogie-said-up-jump-the-boogie.' That's how it goes, right?"

2) "I love this class so much, I'm about to go play in traffic."

3) "Weather forecast: Cloudy, cloudy, cloudycloudycloudycloudycloydyMASSSUICIDE."

4) "I think I'm running a fever and I'm pretty sure I ate a can of dog food for breakfast so it must be Friday."

4) "Seriously, I'm so ill I'm hemorrhaging phlegm. I'm phlegmorrhaging. WebMD doesn't even know what that is. It's that bad."

5) "It appears I would make a terrible rapper. Cancelling the business cards."

6) "If someone doesn't make a porn parody of 'Tron' called 'Pr0n' I'm actually gonna be pretty angry, guys."

7) "Anyone who rings you and says 'sorry wrong number' is almost certainly you from the future."

8) "I need a shot at redemption."

9) "Just wrote 'child repair' into the memo line of a check I'm mailing to my kid's pediatrician."

10) "People are buying enough beads to keep an actual bead store open. Out there. Among us. Beads! It keeps me up at night."

11) "Just caught myself thinking, 'How hard could it really be to build a chair?' The isolation is taking its toll."

12) "Melting down my washing machine lid to make a broadsword."

13) "My new bicycle gang will be called Indiscriminate Yahoos."

14) "If it wasn't for the Batman undies this day would have been a total loss."

15) "I probably shouldn't be allowed to express myself in a public forum until summer."
posted by magstheaxe at 1:34 PM on January 29, 2011 [25 favorites]

Nothing, and I mean nothing, says hilarity like a picture of your ass.
posted by chrisamiller at 5:34 PM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

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