Gettin' Jiggy, er, or, whaddya call it?
January 18, 2011 12:30 PM   Subscribe

Looking for words (a phrase, a verb) to describe the type of sex that falls somewhere between the "making love" and the straight-up "fucking" ends of the spectrum. How do other people characterize this?

I'm trying to get at that type of sex that is:

  • still highly emotionally charged, intimate and connected
  • less gentle and tender than "making love"
  • not as aggressive and raw as "fucking"


  • Ideally this is something that can be used to ask if your partner wants to have this type of sex ("Hey honey, wanna ______ ?") and that can also be used during said sex act to communicate how much you like it ("I love ________ [insert correct preposition] you!").

    Any ideas?
    posted by Betty's Table to Human Relations (69 answers total) 26 users marked this as a favorite

     
    "Doing it"?
    posted by Faint of Butt at 12:31 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]


    Best answer: "fucking" but not "fucking the shit out of".
    posted by booknerd at 12:32 PM on January 18, 2011 [8 favorites]


    We're busy people with kids, so we often refer to this as "having a quickie". And we're still emotionally thirteen years old in a lot of ways, so we also often refer to it as "doing it".

    With the right amount of eyebrow waggling it is much hotter than it sounds.
    posted by padraigin at 12:33 PM on January 18, 2011


    having sex
    posted by Eicats at 12:33 PM on January 18, 2011 [31 favorites]


    A friend of a friend (no, really) uses the phrase "making pancakes". I decline to share the similar, though different, phrase my bf and I use.
    posted by phunniemee at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    I'm fond of the slang term "sexing" even though many people hate it.
    posted by Nixy at 12:35 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    shagging?
    posted by studioaudience at 12:35 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    We say "sexy time." As in, "let's go have sexy time!"
    posted by katypickle at 12:36 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]


    how 'bout "buckling down"?
    posted by that's candlepin at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011


    good old, every day sexing up is usually referred to in this house as "rolling around." fun, playful, not too serious...
    posted by nadawi at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


    Porking.
    posted by cmoj at 12:41 PM on January 18, 2011


    I think the type of sex you're referring to is usually just called "sleeping together."

    You might also remove the too gentle/too aggressive connotations by referring more specifically to what you love to do: "I love licking your eyebrow" or whatever.
    posted by milk white peacock at 12:43 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


    Best answer: We refer to that in our house as "reading the Bible." But then, we're terrible, terrible people.
    posted by JoanArkham at 12:43 PM on January 18, 2011 [66 favorites]


    If you're talking about the rough, hair pulling, spanking, saying things to get a rise out of the other one, but still intimate and caring, kind of sex, then we call that the Nasty.
    posted by Sweetmag at 12:45 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


    "do it" / "doing you" are my go-tos for this.

    also "bang" (gender neutral, IMO)
    posted by citywolf at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2011


    I use the word "banging," no matter how gentle, rough, tender or aggressive the sex. My partner and I think it's funny to use really unsexy words to describe sex, though.

    You don't have to be crude like me and mine, you could just say "having sex" or the cuter but maybe too cutesy, "sexing."
    posted by cranberrymonger at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2011


    Best answer: Wow, I am amazed that you and your partner have different words for different sex styles. Are my Largely Mythological Husband and I outliers? We say "fucking" for both schmoopy gaze-into-the-eyes kissy sex and hot animal action, and "fooling around" for both types as well. Also "sexing" sometimes.

    And sometimes one of us says "I have an invoice for some sexual intercourse" and the other says "Well, I'll contact the fulfillment department."
    posted by Sidhedevil at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2011 [23 favorites]


    Response by poster: @Sidhedevil... Oh yes, I/we have a taxonomy of sorts, wink wink. No, I/we use lots of different phrases for different things, but I felt I was lacking in middle-of-the-road terminology. (And yes, I considered calling it some variation of that...)
    posted by Betty's Table at 12:51 PM on January 18, 2011


    "rolling around" was a go-to for casual stuff
    posted by radiosilents at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Nookie.
    posted by musofire at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2011


    Let's get it on can never be wrong, if the love is true.
    posted by raztaj at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]


    To me and the people I've been with, "having sex" is the midpoint between "making love" and "fucking."
    posted by birdherder at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2011


    Happy naked fun time. :)
    posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:00 PM on January 18, 2011


    Having sex. Or knocking boots.
    posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 1:00 PM on January 18, 2011


    "Sexual healing"
    posted by Nixy at 1:02 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Gettin' nekkid.
    posted by bondcliff at 1:03 PM on January 18, 2011


    Best answer: We also use the word "piece" [of ass] in a few different ways:

    "Want to piece?"
    "Can I get a piece?"
    "I loved our piece last night."
    posted by cranberrymonger at 1:10 PM on January 18, 2011


    Or Sexy Time.
    posted by Sweetmag at 1:11 PM on January 18, 2011


    If it's less aggressive than fucking I tend to call it "fooling around." Which I guess is ambiguous if you're speaking to a general audience, but Mrs. Windphone seems to disambiguate just fine.
    posted by nebulawindphone at 1:12 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Having nothing personal to add other than agreeing with "having sex", some friends of mine (very frank about their sex life) have a category called "Maintenance Sex" which is their frequent, baseline "I love you", keeping-the-wheels-greased kind of sex.
    posted by elendil71 at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011


    "Rubbing bacon" (which dates back at least five centuries before you scenesters arrived on the scene with your smoked-pork fetishes)
    posted by drlith at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]


    Rumpy-pumpy.
    posted by carter at 1:23 PM on January 18, 2011 [6 favorites]


    Boning. As in, "let's bone".
    posted by pintapicasso at 1:23 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


    Wifely/Husbandly duties
    posted by Thorzdad at 1:24 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    In our home it's called "picnic".
    posted by cior at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Dirty time.
    posted by kimdog at 1:39 PM on January 18, 2011


    We usually call it "sexytimes" or "having the sex" and yes, the "the" is critically important.
    posted by sarastro at 1:55 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    I call it "sex"
    posted by KogeLiz at 2:04 PM on January 18, 2011


    i have dumped sex partners in the middle of action, for using the phrase making love. i use fucking, grinding, rolling around, making hay, rec time, or making out, or european dipolomacy from least intimate to most intimate.
    posted by PinkMoose at 2:12 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    "Let's go to bed."
    posted by vanitas at 2:13 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    smush: courtesy of "The jersey Shore"
    I think it captures the sentiment well.
    posted by raccoon409 at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2011


    Best answer: During a home improvement project some time back we started referring to it as "sheetrocking."
    posted by harmfulray at 2:24 PM on January 18, 2011 [9 favorites]


    Makin' the beast with two backs. or, sexing each other up.
    posted by diocletian at 2:45 PM on January 18, 2011


    I'm surprised no one's said, "Screw."
    posted by digitalprimate at 2:51 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Sexytiems, boning, and, unfortunately, singing the glade plug-ins commercial ("plug it in, plug it in!") accompanied by eyebrow-wiggling, hip-thrusting, and ridiculous leers.

    I am a class act, basically.
    posted by elizardbits at 3:10 PM on January 18, 2011 [11 favorites]


    Pouncing. Getting pounced. Having a pounce.
    posted by Danf at 3:25 PM on January 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


    "Doing the Grownup"
    posted by effluvia at 3:37 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    "Midnight ramrod sexcapades".
    posted by biscotti at 3:39 PM on January 18, 2011


    "Re-reading the Republican Contract With America"
    posted by timsteil at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2011 [9 favorites]


    "Practicing our ballet."
    posted by Scientist at 5:14 PM on January 18, 2011


    "Face down, ass up."
    posted by Forktine at 5:25 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


    Getting your freak on
    posted by jasondigitized at 5:41 PM on January 18, 2011


    You could call it Business Time.

    (Sorting the recycling isn't part of it, but it's still important).
    posted by jb at 6:16 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]


    Bonking

    Special hugs

    'Avin a shag
    posted by Sebmojo at 6:51 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Best answer: We say "sexytime" to refer to this kind of sex as well, but there's only one way you can do it. Here's the warmup.

    1.) Get ready to put on your most ridiculous French accent. We're talking a cross between Inspector Clouseau and a Muppet here.
    2.) Start looking sideways at your partner every once in a while. Not a lot, just a little, maybe once every minute while they're doing something else. And I don't mean lower-lids sexy-sideways. I mean deranged move-your-eyes-but-don't-turn-your-head sideways. As soon as they look at you, glance quickly back at whatever you are working on.
    3.) Start doing this more frequently over a period of several minutes. They will begin to give you troubled looks.
    4.) Finally, when you are ready, there are two approaches: either you can catch their eye (but make sure to keep the deranged look) and rapidly approach them, or you can wait until they are distracted and then move rapidly into their-- and this is important-- their peripheral vision.
    5.) When you are less than a foot away, lunge towards their face and put your eyes extremely near their eyes. Creepy near. Wait a moment for the anticipation to build. Then scream, "SEXYTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAHHHHHHHHHM," in your best worst French accent. Continue until they fall over laughing or bludgeon you to death or even have sex with you.

    After a certain number of repetitions over the span of several weeks, this technique will become so effective that your partner will glimpse your approach and be unable to stop screaming with laughter. By the time you finally get around to actually saying "sexytime" they will be so incapacitated they will be unable to fend off your arduous advances.

    Advanced variation suggestions: slow your technique in order to build the moment; push them over or into a corner a bit at a time and start crawling over them doing your best slo-mo impression of lap-dancing Gollum; catch them by surprise.

    Now, you too, are a "sexytime" expert.
    posted by WidgetAlley at 7:17 PM on January 18, 2011 [33 favorites]


    Gettin' mad rutty.
    posted by illenion at 9:29 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


    boffin'
    posted by solipsophistocracy at 9:40 PM on January 18, 2011


    Bumping uglies.
    posted by saucysault at 3:01 AM on January 19, 2011


    Sexing you(/her/him/me) up.
    posted by Gordafarin at 6:17 AM on January 19, 2011


    Serene Empress Dork: "Happy naked fun time. :"

    Heh, that's we call it too. Often preceded by the ever so seductive "Whoo hoo! I'm naked, I'm naked, I'm NAKED!" mating call from another room.
    posted by dejah420 at 7:23 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Making mutual respect and affection
    posted by Uncle at 9:23 AM on January 19, 2011


    Gettin pervy?
    posted by spicynuts at 10:09 AM on January 19, 2011


    "Being naked together." Neither ascribing too much "this is serious" emotional import nor turning it into something emotionlessly filthy. But why isn't their a dedicated word for it? There's a place for it, anyway.
    posted by sarling at 11:01 AM on January 19, 2011


    Response by poster: @Everyone, thank you, thank you, you have greatly increased my lexicon of lust.
    posted by Betty's Table at 2:48 PM on January 19, 2011


    Response by poster: @cranberrymonger: I particularly like the "I loved our piece last night." Works for me (and mine, hopefully).
    posted by Betty's Table at 2:56 PM on January 19, 2011


    I'm actually kind of shocked it took 50+ comments to get to 'Business Time.'
    posted by Space Kitty at 4:57 PM on January 19, 2011


    Happy Squelchy Fun Time!
    posted by lilyflower at 3:14 AM on January 20, 2011


    Time to "pound it like a Whack-a-mole"
    posted by Juicy Avenger at 10:54 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


    Playing.
    posted by streetdreams at 8:27 PM on February 6, 2011


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