My friend's mom died - I want to have pre-made meals delivered to his house TODAY. How?
January 13, 2011 6:46 AM   Subscribe

My friend's mom died - I want to have pre-made meals delivered to his house TODAY. How?

Zip code is 12804. I am not there. Can Schwanns do this?

Are there better things to send than meals?
posted by jander03 to Human Relations (10 answers total)
My guess is EVERYONE will give them food. The house will be full of it. I don't have any idea what people need at times like this if you're not there, other than a phone call, but I doubt it'll be food.
posted by Blake at 6:49 AM on January 13, 2011

A gift basket of food is sufficient and a very nice gesture.When you are in your home for a week straight because of situations like this, it's nice to have food around to just snack on. You might also consider donating to a charity in his mom's name, if the family announced one.

Unsolicited: Be aware that everyone deals with death differently, and so your friend may notice or not notice, acknowledge or not acknowledge, your efforts as so many other things are going. In short, he is probably overwhelmed. A nice you thing you can do is realize that any of his actions or comments are essentially in a context you are not a part of. That is, give him a break, so to speak, no matter what.
posted by Tristram Shandy, Gentleman at 6:56 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

After deaths in my family, I can remember getting sandwiches, bagels, and cookies from local bakeries and restaurants. Those were great, especially since they don't take any cooking time and anyone can grab one when they are hungry and there is little clean up. It looks like there is a Panera Bread in that Zip Code, and they have lots of options.

We've also received cases of soda and beer, storage containers and paper goods (ziplock bags, paper plates, plastic cups, etc.)
posted by elvissa at 7:01 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the advice. I called a local restaurant and placed an order for a dish that serves 8. Hopefully it won't impose.
posted by jander03 at 7:09 AM on January 13, 2011

That's very kind of you! If you haven't done so already, you might want to let your friend know that the meal is coming, so that he knows in advance that he doesn't have to worry about cooking or anything.
posted by cider at 7:19 AM on January 13, 2011

I'm in the UK, but when we had a death in the family nobody sent food over - it's just not a thing in some places.

Do you have online shopping where you are? I would send an order with basic things that nobody would currently think to buy. I tried to go food shopping the weekend after my dad died and came abck with a loaf of bread, icing sugar and Blu-Tack.
posted by mippy at 7:42 AM on January 13, 2011 [4 favorites]

Just dealt with an unexpected death in the family of a close friend.

They had SO MUCH FOOD. They were overwhelmed. And they certainly didn't feel like eating. The sheer quantity of food actually became a source of stress for them; they weren't sure what to do with it, they didn't want to throw it out, people just kept bringing more and more of it.

Eventually they had someone take it all down to the soup kitchen just to make it just go away.

A week later, though, when they were still not feeling like cooking and the food was gone, that's when I think a premade hot meal would have been very welcome.

If it's an option to wait, or even send them a gift card to a takeout place, or nonperishable food ... really anything but hot food that has to be eaten or thrown out right away, it would probably be better. Unless you are absolutely sure that they're not getting bombarded with casseroles from others trying to do the right thing.

But just be aware that you may be one of dozens of people with the same idea and while it's a nice gesture it might end up not being what they really need.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:28 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Good points regarding influx of food. Thank you.
posted by jander03 at 8:39 AM on January 13, 2011

While probably not the most tastiest things to give to a family, this is my go to for these type of occasions. I get a nice basket, frozen lasgna, frozen garlic bread, some type of beverage, and a card of sympathy. I know many people are dropping off fresh food, that will have to be consumed in a certain amount of time. My thoughts are when all of that is gone, the family will just have to pop in my stuff in the oven for an hour, and they are on the way. Just my 2 cents.
posted by snoelle at 11:50 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Regarding the influx of food now and possible need for food next week, a gift card to a local restaurant is always good.
posted by IndigoRain at 12:14 AM on January 14, 2011

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