Finding a well-fitting pair of jeans -- HALP!
January 11, 2011 7:55 AM   Subscribe

Okay, this is a slightly stupid question about finding a well-fitting pair of jeans. Please bear with me. [just a little NSFW]

I've been wearing baggy jeans for a couple of years now, and I want to find something that fits me better. Unfortunately, every decent pair that I've tried on seems to hurt my balls after a while. Is this going to go away with wear, or should I find a new pair?

Another silly question: I usually wear W:33 H:32 jeans and fasten them right on my pelvic bone, but in trying on new pairs, I've discovered that 34/30 works quite well if fastened below the pelvic bone. Have I been wearing my jeans wrong all this time? Generally speaking, should jeans be worn above or below the pelvic bone? (And if it varies, how do I find out what the "correct" style is?)

Thank you.
posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (14 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Um, I am a woman and have not tried these, but have you tried Duluth Ballroom Jeans?

Or, you know, a Utilikilt.
posted by jillithd at 7:59 AM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

Your pants should not cramp your balls, no--though jeans obviously stretch and relax between washings. Unless you're getting your pants filthy, I don't think you need to wash your jeans after each wearing.

Some of the problem could just be the cut. I can never wear any, say, post-2003 Banana Republic pants, even though I haven't changed size--they're just more slender in the leg than my sexy, masculine stems. Try other labels. If you're in NY, I highly recommend Uniqlo--they have lots of teeny tiny hipster pants, but their more generous cuts fit me well.

I think pants just sort of sit on the crest of your pelvis (unless you're going for low riders (don't go for low riders)).
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:07 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm a fan of Levis Slim Straight 514s. They are not skinny (ugh) and not baggy, and fit me to a T off the shelf, except for the groin - not nearly enough room. I did the thing where you soak your jeans in hot water and wear them damp for one rather uncomfortable day, and that solved the problem. YMMV.

I must admit, though, that it was entirely too much work just to wear jeans, and seemed entirely bizarre to me, but I hadn't worn jeans in almost a decade and felt like giving them a fair shake.

jillithd, have you seen Chuck Norris pants?

posted by fake at 8:08 AM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

You sound pretty slim, maybe slightly thinner than my husband. He has found, and loves, Marc Ecko Cut & Sew jeans in straight or boot cut leg. They fit well without cramping anyone's style up in the business area, according to reports from the front.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:11 AM on January 11, 2011

We're basically the same size (although, some recent weight loss on my end has made me more of a 32/33 now), and I also wear them right at the middle of my pelvic bone (right below the widest part--above it I think is too high for modern-cut jeans), but I've never had [ball-related] problems with Gap's boot cut jeans, so maybe give them a try.
posted by General Malaise at 8:17 AM on January 11, 2011

what kind of underwear do you wear? perhaps that could be a clue as to why your balls are hurting. And, what kind of hurting? pinched? cramped? chaffed?
posted by p1nkdaisy at 8:54 AM on January 11, 2011

Where your jeans sit on your hips is a matter of personal preference, but is also largely determined by the distance from the crotch to the waistband (this is called the "rise). if your balls are being crushed, you're wearing them too high on the hips.

it's also worth bearing in mind that almost all jeans will stretch out with wear - some quite dramatically. a hot wash will shrink them down again, but you can expect them to stretch right out again very quickly.

you might want to give levis shrink-to-fit 501's a try. they're not too expensive at all. the cut of them has been variable over the years but the current iteration isn't too baggy and there's still plenty of room for your balls. and you'll get the pleasure of breaking in and molding a pair of jeans to your body entirely from scratch the old-fashioned way, and watch them gradually fade into beautiful old age.

for sizing, you probably want them about one inch too big in the waist and 3-4 inches too long when dry. wear them in a hot bath for an hour or so. then enjoy your jeans!
posted by Ted Maul at 8:54 AM on January 11, 2011

You may have actually been wearing your jeans too high. Some jeans are made with a higher waist, but others should rest slightly below the tips of your pelvic bones. Levi's skinny 510s and 511s, for instance, are meant to be worn low on the hips. Traditional Wrangler boot cuts, on the other hand, are worn closer to the waist. Additionally, many young men wear their skinny jeans with a little room below the butt, while a more "cowboy" style jean is meant to snug up around the ass. It really depends on the type of jean, but some will actually indicate how they are meant to be worn on the label.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:58 AM on January 11, 2011

Wait, what?

Am I the only guy that just moves the whole package into the left pant leg? Surely you have enough room in your pant leg anon. Stuff isn't meant to be assaulted by the crotch area of the jeans all day.

(33w34h, loose fit, on hip wearer.)
posted by zephyr_words at 9:38 AM on January 11, 2011

zephyr_words: "Am I the only guy that just moves the whole package into the left pant leg?"

The term for this is "dressing left" and a highly anecdotal source (a tailor) says most men do it. In general, I would discourage you from wearing jeans which are so tight this is relevant.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:44 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think part of the problem is that vanity sizing has hit mean's jeans manufacturers. So don't size jeans by their numbers. Just try 'em on until they fit right.
posted by valkyryn at 9:46 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Like the commenter above I wear and love Levi's Slim Straight 514, though I've never heard of the wet-pants-for-a-day trick! I lost a bunch of weight and decided to wear jeans that fit me, so I now wear 31x32, but then all my boxers wouldn't work anymore (too baggy in the tighter pants), and my problems were solved simply with briefs.
posted by ORthey at 10:31 AM on January 11, 2011

Briefs with tight jeans, boxers with looser dress pants.
Isn't the pelvic bone the one just above your junk? (Now there's a dumb-ass new English usage!) Aren't those your hip-bones kind of outboard of your centerline--on the far outside?
posted by fivesavagepalms at 10:56 AM on January 11, 2011

The pubis is the boney thing between your belly button and your groin, the lower/forward bulge of the pelvis. The hip joint is about level with it, at least in my female skeleton. The "hip" closer to your waist is the top/side edge of the pelvis, the iliac crest. The pelvis is quite a large bone [group of bones, really].
posted by galadriel at 7:19 PM on January 11, 2011

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