Freaking out about possibly contracting herpes. Not so appetizing details inside.
January 6, 2011 6:38 PM Subscribe
Could I have herpes?
I am freaking out. Sunday night I went out with this guy for the first time. We went back to his place and we fooled around a bit. We went down on each other, but didn't have sex. I asked him if he had been tested for STDs and he said he had in March and that he was all clean.
Then, Tuesday night, we had sex with a condom. Towards the end of the sex, things got a little dry, literally, and it was a little painful because of all of the dry friction. Because of that, I was not surprised or worried when I woke up the next morning with irritated skin and a little soreness however, fast forward to today, Thursday. I am seriously flipping out. There seems to be maybe 3ish pimple looking bumps on my right outter labia and inner lip. They seem to be open and one looks to be filled with puss. I'm a bit itchy and there is a little stinging, but I also could be exaggerating the symptoms because it is literally all I can think about.
Could this be because of the friction of sex? He seemed to have some pimples around his chin area so I didn't worry too much when he also had a pimple right under his lip, but now I am worried that it may have been herpes and that I now have herpes. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, but I honestly think I will drive myself crazy before then. How likely is it that I have herpes? Is it possible that I could already have an outbreak even though I had contact with this person for the first time 4 days ago and sex 2 days ago? I did not have herpes before so if I do have it, it must be from him. GIVE ME ANSWERS PLEAAASEE!
I am freaking out. Sunday night I went out with this guy for the first time. We went back to his place and we fooled around a bit. We went down on each other, but didn't have sex. I asked him if he had been tested for STDs and he said he had in March and that he was all clean.
Then, Tuesday night, we had sex with a condom. Towards the end of the sex, things got a little dry, literally, and it was a little painful because of all of the dry friction. Because of that, I was not surprised or worried when I woke up the next morning with irritated skin and a little soreness however, fast forward to today, Thursday. I am seriously flipping out. There seems to be maybe 3ish pimple looking bumps on my right outter labia and inner lip. They seem to be open and one looks to be filled with puss. I'm a bit itchy and there is a little stinging, but I also could be exaggerating the symptoms because it is literally all I can think about.
Could this be because of the friction of sex? He seemed to have some pimples around his chin area so I didn't worry too much when he also had a pimple right under his lip, but now I am worried that it may have been herpes and that I now have herpes. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, but I honestly think I will drive myself crazy before then. How likely is it that I have herpes? Is it possible that I could already have an outbreak even though I had contact with this person for the first time 4 days ago and sex 2 days ago? I did not have herpes before so if I do have it, it must be from him. GIVE ME ANSWERS PLEAAASEE!
From what I understand, herpes sores generally resemble shallow boils rather than pimples. this website has some examples.
The unfortunate truth is that lots of people have herpes without knowing it as herpes can sometimes be present without any symptoms. To make things worse, generally speaking a doctor or STI-clinic will not automatically test for herpes unless specifically asked, or if there are symptoms which suggest it.
So yeah, it's possible that you might have herpes. You wont know for sure until you see your doctor tomorrow, obviously, but you should start preparing yourself for that eventuality.
To start off, don't panic. Seriously. Don't do it. It isn't the end of the world. Worldwide rates of HSV infection are between 65%-90%%. To put that in perspective, only 2.8% of the worlds population suffers from diabetes.
I hope that you get good news from the doctor and a clean bill of health, but in case that's not in the cards remember that having herpes does not define you as a person, you can still have a completely normal life and it doesn't in any way make you dirty or damaged.
Good luck!
posted by sarastro at 6:58 PM on January 6, 2011
The unfortunate truth is that lots of people have herpes without knowing it as herpes can sometimes be present without any symptoms. To make things worse, generally speaking a doctor or STI-clinic will not automatically test for herpes unless specifically asked, or if there are symptoms which suggest it.
So yeah, it's possible that you might have herpes. You wont know for sure until you see your doctor tomorrow, obviously, but you should start preparing yourself for that eventuality.
To start off, don't panic. Seriously. Don't do it. It isn't the end of the world. Worldwide rates of HSV infection are between 65%-90%%. To put that in perspective, only 2.8% of the worlds population suffers from diabetes.
I hope that you get good news from the doctor and a clean bill of health, but in case that's not in the cards remember that having herpes does not define you as a person, you can still have a completely normal life and it doesn't in any way make you dirty or damaged.
Good luck!
posted by sarastro at 6:58 PM on January 6, 2011
I don't know if you could have herpes. But you could have sebaceous cysts.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:01 PM on January 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:01 PM on January 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
how do you know you didn't already have herpes and that this partner would be the one who gave it to you? do you know you can go years without an outbreak? as sarastro said - 65-90% of the population has it - i can't think of a more common ailment. jumping to blame your partner before all the facts are in could be pretty damaging to him.
freaking out tonight will not help you at all. watch some crappy tv, drink a little wine, get some rest and let a doctor tell you what's going on tomorrow.
posted by nadawi at 7:05 PM on January 6, 2011
freaking out tonight will not help you at all. watch some crappy tv, drink a little wine, get some rest and let a doctor tell you what's going on tomorrow.
posted by nadawi at 7:05 PM on January 6, 2011
Yes, it's definitely possible. But you also could be freaking out over nothing. I was... it was just a pimple. Good luck!
posted by geegollygosh at 7:12 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by geegollygosh at 7:12 PM on January 6, 2011
If it looked like a pimple, it might be Mulluscum, in which case it is not at all dangerous and easily treated.
posted by Midnight Rambler at 7:28 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by Midnight Rambler at 7:28 PM on January 6, 2011
It is definitely possible to get non-STI-related pimples on your genitalia.
But all the same, it wouldn't be a bad idea to schedule a checkup with your doctor.
posted by Sara C. at 7:40 PM on January 6, 2011
But all the same, it wouldn't be a bad idea to schedule a checkup with your doctor.
posted by Sara C. at 7:40 PM on January 6, 2011
I recently had a similar panic over what turned out to the sebaceous cysts that were mentioned upthread. See a doctor, but there's no need to panic just yet.
posted by twirlypen at 7:51 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by twirlypen at 7:51 PM on January 6, 2011
I'm also leaning towards sebaceous cysts. Seriously though, don't flip out - there's probably a good chance this is nothing.
posted by pecanpies at 8:04 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by pecanpies at 8:04 PM on January 6, 2011
You could have herpes, but not from Tuesday night! It needs more time to incubate than that. Still, though, when in doubt about sexual health, it's a good idea to talk to your doctor (especially if you have a good one who you can be really forthright with).
All that said, herpes is not the end of the world. As STDs go, it's sucky because of its permanence (in current treatments, anyway), but it's innocuous because it really mainly just means you get outbreaks of sores sometimes. I don't mean to dismiss the way it impacts lots of people's lives, but approximately 90% of us live with oral herpes and it's not really a big deal for most of us. HSVII (genital herpes) gets a bad rap because it's associated with sex, so there's a big stigma, which is really a shame, because sex is awesome.
Okay, down I climb off my soapbox. I hope you come back with a clean bill of health ASAP!
posted by rosa at 8:10 PM on January 6, 2011
All that said, herpes is not the end of the world. As STDs go, it's sucky because of its permanence (in current treatments, anyway), but it's innocuous because it really mainly just means you get outbreaks of sores sometimes. I don't mean to dismiss the way it impacts lots of people's lives, but approximately 90% of us live with oral herpes and it's not really a big deal for most of us. HSVII (genital herpes) gets a bad rap because it's associated with sex, so there's a big stigma, which is really a shame, because sex is awesome.
Okay, down I climb off my soapbox. I hope you come back with a clean bill of health ASAP!
posted by rosa at 8:10 PM on January 6, 2011
The incubation period pretty much requires that these outbreaks are something else. That does not necessarily mean, however, that you were not exposed to herpes.
posted by hermitosis at 8:27 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by hermitosis at 8:27 PM on January 6, 2011
The Herpes Handbook is an accurate source of information, and the discussion board is probably better qualified to answer your question then AskMeFi.
posted by gumtree at 8:44 PM on January 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by gumtree at 8:44 PM on January 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Do you get waxed down there? There's also a chance you're dealing with some ingrown hairs.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:36 PM on January 6, 2011
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:36 PM on January 6, 2011
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posted by bluedaisy at 6:52 PM on January 6, 2011