books about healing from heartbreak?
January 3, 2011 12:44 PM   Subscribe

Please recommend books (or other media) about getting through heartbreak.

I've seen this question, which asked for uplifting books in general. I'm hoping for something more specific: books (or stories or films or whatever), fiction or non-, about people taking heartbreak and turning it into a new direction in their life. I'm not so much interested in plots where heartbreak immediately leads to meeting someone New-And-OMG-Totes-Better-Than-Former-Flame (though this might be ok if it's secondary). I'd rather see someone overcoming or healing from heartbreak independently of a new romantic interest.

The heartbreak I'm trying to soothe is romantic in nature (nothing like a little love-never-won to start out the new year :-/ ), but stories starting with any kind of loss/heartbreak are welcome.
posted by SymphonyNumberNine to Writing & Language (15 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
I don't know how you feel about the late Elizabeth Edwards but my mother lent me her book, Saving Graces, before she died suddenly (my mother, that is). In case you didn't know, Edwards' son Wade was killed in a car accident when he was in high school and it absolutely devastated her. She writes in the book about connecting with strangers over the internet and starting a computer center at his school in his memory.

My mother had talked about how she thought some of the stuff Edwards did to deal with her grief over losing her son was a little weird - she read him all of the books on his high school reading list at his grave, for example- but I thought it was really well written. It's sad but it might be good after a romantic relationship because it's a distraction and facilitates a good, cathartic cry.
posted by kat518 at 12:57 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've always found solace in Pema Chodron's *When Things Fall Apart.* Susan Piver's book *The Wisdom of a Broken Heart* looks good too, but I haven't read it yet.
posted by chicainthecity at 12:59 PM on January 3, 2011


I highly recommend Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times." It focuses a lot on death, but is appropriate for any type of "loss," whether it's the loss of a partner, a job, etc.
posted by laze at 1:00 PM on January 3, 2011


Hah! Good advice, @chicainthecity!
posted by laze at 1:00 PM on January 3, 2011


This This American Life episode about break-ups is pretty great, especially the segment where Starlee Kine writes a Phil Collins-inspired break-up song.
posted by oinopaponton at 1:04 PM on January 3, 2011


I found He Loved Me, He Loves Me Not totally hilarious when I was heartbroken in 1996. It's not LIT-trature by any stretch, but its light acknowledgment of the universality of getting dumped made me feel better.
posted by apparently at 1:30 PM on January 3, 2011


Also, Sliding Doors (again, not highbrow culture here) for demonstrating how much better things can get after a breakup.
posted by apparently at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2011


Since you do ask for other media as well, Miranda July's Me and You and Everyone We Know really surprised me by being more about divorce, separation, loneliness and the ongoing search for a meaningful connection than the quirky indie romantic comedy it was marketed as.

Also Makoto Shinkai, who's written some of my favorite stories about heartbreak, has said that his new film will be about overcoming the loss of someone precious. It won't be out until May of this year, but Shinkai's 5 Centimeters per Second is especially powerful so it seemed worth mentioning.
posted by byanyothername at 1:38 PM on January 3, 2011


Kate Braestrup's "Here If You Need Me" is an excellent memoir about the author dealing with the death of her husband by pursuing a career as a UU minister, a career he was considering before his death. It's positive without being sugarcoated for even a second.
posted by epj at 1:39 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


(500) Days of Summer fits this bill well, though it may be a little bit harsh if you are trying to heal a raw wound.
posted by eugenen at 1:44 PM on January 3, 2011


I can't believe I'm going to say this and sound like "that girl," but... Eat Pray Love. It does speak to some part of us that can identify with getting wrapped up in obligations, love and otherwise and completely losing ourselves to them. You get to walk through the steps of finding you again and healing the parts that had to be broken to expose that person. And of course, I'm going to be "that girl" again... the book is better.
posted by Term of Art at 4:36 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I appreciated "If We Ever Break Up, This Is My Book" by Jason Logan for its simplicity, humor, and creepily accurate account of the embarrassment and self-doubt that happens during the post-breakup recovery process. It covers the "recovery" part without saccharine. It's a collection of line drawings, and you can flip open to any random page and find something funny, heartbreaking, and/or hopeful.
posted by sarling at 5:45 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you like poetry at all, I highly recommend The Hell With Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart and the sequel Kiss Off: Poems to Set You Free. There's also a third book that I haven't yet read called You Drive Me Crazy: Love Poems for Real Life but it sounds like it's less focused specifically on break-ups. They aren't just collections of poems, although the poems are wonderful; they also include inserts of the author's musings on heartbreak and healing from it. Anyway, both books are hilarious and moving.
posted by Nixy at 6:17 PM on January 3, 2011


Also, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy (though marketed specifically for women) by the guy who wrote He's Just Not that Into You, has the same sense of humor but is instead more universal and sympathetic and much less controversial.
posted by Nixy at 6:24 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Heartburn by Nora Ephron is exactly what you want. I love this book and have read this after many a breakup.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:57 PM on January 3, 2011


« Older my daughter needs your help for going to college   |   Streetwise in Boston? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.