Help us bond with our puppy.
December 2, 2010 8:46 PM Subscribe
Puppy filter: how do I make up for 4 lost weeks of bonding and socialisation with my new puppy?
Yesterday our breeder removed from sale the yellow female lab puppy we paid a deposit on 7 weeks ago, as she is now too valuable to her as breeding stock - making it impossible for us to find a puppy for the start of my holidays.
Putting aside all my narkiness and distress at her reneging on our contract, she pulled in a favour with another (better, more established, more professional) breeder closer to home - and we are now picking up a 12 week old puppy in three days.
Our original pup was 8 weeks old on pick up, and with the new pup going to be 12 weeks, we have missed out on not only 4 weeks of tiny fluffy puppy fun, we will have lost 4 important weeks for bonding and socialisation.
Is there anything in particular we should do to help establish a strong bond with this puppy who has spent a significant portion of her early bonding time with the breeders and her 3 litter mates? Am I overthinking the importance of this time, or is it something I don't really need to worry about as long as we raise this puppy as we normally would in our home?
Any advice, tips or tricks are greatly appreciated, as well as any reassurances that missing out on this 4 weeks is not as big of a deal as I am thinking it is.
Yesterday our breeder removed from sale the yellow female lab puppy we paid a deposit on 7 weeks ago, as she is now too valuable to her as breeding stock - making it impossible for us to find a puppy for the start of my holidays.
Putting aside all my narkiness and distress at her reneging on our contract, she pulled in a favour with another (better, more established, more professional) breeder closer to home - and we are now picking up a 12 week old puppy in three days.
Our original pup was 8 weeks old on pick up, and with the new pup going to be 12 weeks, we have missed out on not only 4 weeks of tiny fluffy puppy fun, we will have lost 4 important weeks for bonding and socialisation.
Is there anything in particular we should do to help establish a strong bond with this puppy who has spent a significant portion of her early bonding time with the breeders and her 3 litter mates? Am I overthinking the importance of this time, or is it something I don't really need to worry about as long as we raise this puppy as we normally would in our home?
Any advice, tips or tricks are greatly appreciated, as well as any reassurances that missing out on this 4 weeks is not as big of a deal as I am thinking it is.
I write this with Lyle, who I adopted at roughly one year, on my lap. There are times I wish he was slightly *less* bonded, which would, among other things, make it easier to type - he's a bit big for a lap dog. Your pup will love you. 12 weeks is a great time to start bonding and socializing.
posted by judith at 8:53 PM on December 2, 2010
posted by judith at 8:53 PM on December 2, 2010
Don't let your disappointment with the breeder ruin the excitement of getting a new puppy! You haven't lost any time. If bonding was contingent on age, none of the adult dogs in the shelters would be adopted.
My aunt adopted a dog (Zoe, who was probably 8 or 9 years old at the time) after Zoe's original owner died. Zoe rarely left my aunt's side and didn't have any trouble adjusting to her new home.
posted by lucysparrow at 9:05 PM on December 2, 2010
My aunt adopted a dog (Zoe, who was probably 8 or 9 years old at the time) after Zoe's original owner died. Zoe rarely left my aunt's side and didn't have any trouble adjusting to her new home.
posted by lucysparrow at 9:05 PM on December 2, 2010
Shoot, the 2-year-old and 5-year-old dogs we adopted are super-bonded, dubious histories and all. Your puppy will do great!
posted by bunji at 9:08 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by bunji at 9:08 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
8 weeks is a bit on the young side anyway, 12 weeks with her mother is probably going to give you a better dog in terms of dog socialization.
And they'll bond with you no what age they are as long as you give them food and play fun games, that's not really an issue with dogs. Mine was a 10 month old stray who was afraid of everything and didn't know how to play and she's now the best, most goofy dog around*.
*may still eat trash.
posted by fshgrl at 9:11 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
And they'll bond with you no what age they are as long as you give them food and play fun games, that's not really an issue with dogs. Mine was a 10 month old stray who was afraid of everything and didn't know how to play and she's now the best, most goofy dog around*.
*may still eat trash.
posted by fshgrl at 9:11 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Overthinking it! My family has adopted full-grown dogs who were loving and bonded to us perfectly well.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:11 PM on December 2, 2010
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:11 PM on December 2, 2010
I wish our dog had been older when we got him. He was probably 7 weeks (I honestly can't remember, he's 14 years old now) and I feel he never really learned how to interact with other dogs because he was taken from his mom and littermates too young. I think an extra month of learning how to be a dog is probably more important than an extra month of ooh cute puppy.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 9:31 PM on December 2, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 9:31 PM on December 2, 2010 [4 favorites]
I adopted a retired laboratory research beagle after her study ended. As a pup at a research breeding kennel she was handled enough to be able to socialize with humans and other dogs. At around a year of age, she was brought to our facility and then socialized and handled and loved on by various and sundry people at the veterinary research facility for 18 months). She was nice, but seemed a bit independent when I picked her as my sponsor dog one summer, and when I took her home that August, I wasn't sure if she'd be anything like the other dogs in her study who seemed much more people-oriented right off the bat.
At the time, she was 2 1/2. She turns seven this weekend. At this moment she is alternating between coming over to beg for me to snuggle her and licking the kitchen floor in case there is something delicious on it.* I think we've bonded successfully, because for a beagle, that's a serious dilemma. I'm glad I rank in the top two.
*my dog's motto: YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'S NOT FOOD UNTIL YOU TRY.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 9:43 PM on December 2, 2010 [3 favorites]
At the time, she was 2 1/2. She turns seven this weekend. At this moment she is alternating between coming over to beg for me to snuggle her and licking the kitchen floor in case there is something delicious on it.* I think we've bonded successfully, because for a beagle, that's a serious dilemma. I'm glad I rank in the top two.
*my dog's motto: YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'S NOT FOOD UNTIL YOU TRY.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 9:43 PM on December 2, 2010 [3 favorites]
Don't worry about the bonding so much as the training. I got my dog when he was 3 or 4 and he is probably too bonded to me. I would have liked to have had him as a puppy, because he clearly missed proper training and human socialization.
posted by elpea at 10:05 PM on December 2, 2010
posted by elpea at 10:05 PM on December 2, 2010
I know some breeders that refuse to let dogs go before 12 weeks. I picked up my last lab at 10. The time with the bitch lets them supposedly become more well adjusted and trainable. As is said above, no big deal. Its a dog, feed it, walk it, love it. It will love you more then anyone on earth could possibly deserve.
posted by Felex at 12:24 AM on December 3, 2010
posted by Felex at 12:24 AM on December 3, 2010
You'll be fine. Dogs *want* to be part of the pack, and that's you. They're incredibly social animals.
posted by rmd1023 at 2:24 AM on December 3, 2010
posted by rmd1023 at 2:24 AM on December 3, 2010
In addition to the chorus of "you'll be fine" (seriously--it's the rare dog for whom food + attention does not produce a strong bond with the owner), the most important socialization tasks you ought to be doing with your new puppy right now is socializing it to new people/animals/situations. A dog that has lots of positive experiences with strange people, dogs, and places in the 3-6 month time frame is likely to be less reactive and more relaxed about such things in the future. It's an important time for expanding their horizons beyond the home environment.
posted by SomeTrickPony at 6:05 AM on December 3, 2010
posted by SomeTrickPony at 6:05 AM on December 3, 2010
I hope you got your deposit back!
Seriously, though, 12 weeks is a better age to get a puppy than 8. In fact, it's pretty much the standard with breeders I'm familiar with. It's funny that you're worrying about socialization with humans, as those extra 4 weeks with her mother and litter-mates have given her more time to learn socialization with other dogs, which is just as important.
posted by InsanePenguin at 6:24 AM on December 3, 2010
Seriously, though, 12 weeks is a better age to get a puppy than 8. In fact, it's pretty much the standard with breeders I'm familiar with. It's funny that you're worrying about socialization with humans, as those extra 4 weeks with her mother and litter-mates have given her more time to learn socialization with other dogs, which is just as important.
posted by InsanePenguin at 6:24 AM on December 3, 2010
Seconding the person who said that the extra 4 weeks with the littermates are great for its development towards being a good dog. We got ours at 11 weeks and spent a few weeks introducing her to new people, places and objects. Ian Dunbar suggests that a puppy be introduced to 100 people by 12 weeks. This "better, more established, more professional" breeder has probably already introduced it to more than half for you already.
posted by KathyK at 6:28 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by KathyK at 6:28 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
we will have lost 4 important weeks for bonding and socialisation
You are totally overthinking this. The breeder has been socializing the puppy for this time, along with her littermates and mother. I agree with the people above as well, 8 weeks sounds very young to take away from mom.
You will bond just fine when you actually get her.
posted by crankylex at 6:34 AM on December 3, 2010
You are totally overthinking this. The breeder has been socializing the puppy for this time, along with her littermates and mother. I agree with the people above as well, 8 weeks sounds very young to take away from mom.
You will bond just fine when you actually get her.
posted by crankylex at 6:34 AM on December 3, 2010
Definitely overthinking. I got my puppy at 13 weeks and she's fine. Actually she's better than fine, she's awesome. And that's four weeks more crate training and potty training done by the breeder instead of you, as well as the important socialization mentioned by everyone else.
posted by CheeseLouise at 7:15 AM on December 3, 2010
posted by CheeseLouise at 7:15 AM on December 3, 2010
12 weeks is fine. I hate to see puppies yanked away from their moms at 8 weeks.
8 weeks is a minimum for removing them from their litter, not a rule.
Your puppy will love you.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2010
8 weeks is a minimum for removing them from their litter, not a rule.
Your puppy will love you.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2010
This like all the other advice is anecdotal, but I am going to tell you the story of two wiener dog puppies my family adopted.
The first was adopted around 7 or 8 of age back in 1994, he was brought into our family and grew to be incredibly good with people (for the most part he would steal food from toddlers at house parties). He did not like other dogs though (partially stemming from some bad experiences, and mainly from the fact that he almost never interacted with them). He was a great dog and lived a long and I'd like to think happy life.
The second was adopted about 14-16 weeks (I am less sure on this because it happened up at my parents house and I am an adult now), he was the last of his litter to go, but he is extremely good with other dogs, and he never really had the jerk phase that many puppies go through because he stayed with him mom long enough for her to train him out of it. He is less of a I love all people dog than our previous hound, but he can be a total sweetheart once he is comfortable with you (he loves my mom and youngest brother unconditionally though, which makes sense because he lives with them, he is warm towards my dad too). He might not like to party as much as the previous dog, but he is also a great dog.
The point? They are both great dogs, your dog will be a great dog, this is a non issue. Also trust me that you will be glad that your dogs mom probably got him past the I want to chew on your face phase.
posted by BobbyDigital at 9:30 AM on December 3, 2010
The first was adopted around 7 or 8 of age back in 1994, he was brought into our family and grew to be incredibly good with people (for the most part he would steal food from toddlers at house parties). He did not like other dogs though (partially stemming from some bad experiences, and mainly from the fact that he almost never interacted with them). He was a great dog and lived a long and I'd like to think happy life.
The second was adopted about 14-16 weeks (I am less sure on this because it happened up at my parents house and I am an adult now), he was the last of his litter to go, but he is extremely good with other dogs, and he never really had the jerk phase that many puppies go through because he stayed with him mom long enough for her to train him out of it. He is less of a I love all people dog than our previous hound, but he can be a total sweetheart once he is comfortable with you (he loves my mom and youngest brother unconditionally though, which makes sense because he lives with them, he is warm towards my dad too). He might not like to party as much as the previous dog, but he is also a great dog.
The point? They are both great dogs, your dog will be a great dog, this is a non issue. Also trust me that you will be glad that your dogs mom probably got him past the I want to chew on your face phase.
posted by BobbyDigital at 9:30 AM on December 3, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks for the reassurances - I was definately letting my annoyance at the breeder cloud the situation. And the points about adopted dogs was something I hadn't thought of. I know we will still love her just as much, and she will be an awesome puppy. Thanks!
posted by Pippi Longstocking at 2:43 PM on December 3, 2010
posted by Pippi Longstocking at 2:43 PM on December 3, 2010
YAY NEW PUPPY.
I encourage you to post pics of the puppy once you get it, so that we can all say "aww" because PUPPY.
(although pictures can't transmit that 'new puppy' smell they have.)
posted by rmd1023 at 4:31 PM on December 4, 2010
I encourage you to post pics of the puppy once you get it, so that we can all say "aww" because PUPPY.
(although pictures can't transmit that 'new puppy' smell they have.)
posted by rmd1023 at 4:31 PM on December 4, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
And the 12 week old pup that's been with breeders and littermates is likely to have excellent socialization.
So, I'm sorry you're missing the adorable fluffiness from weeks 8-12, but I really don't think this is as big a deal as it feels like right now. You'll have a wonderful dog either way, and in a year's time nobody would be able to tell you'd had 4 fewer weeks with her.
posted by katemonster at 8:51 PM on December 2, 2010 [3 favorites]