Help! Mother gets 10-15 new magazines in the mail every day!
November 29, 2010 11:56 PM Subscribe
Help! Mother gets 10-15 new magazines in the mail every day. She doesn't want to get rid of the old ones because of a privacy risk? Wha ? What privacy risk?
When I visit, I find her slowly being taken over by stacks of magazines.
Questions -
1) How do you think she got subscribed to all of these magazines -- there's a huge variety. Mostly shopping & store mags.
2) How can I unsubscribe her? Do I need to call EACH magazine? Or is there a way to get all of them at once to stop mailing her? How can I do this as her son ( and not her ) .. maybe I can't ?
3) How can I gently explain that there is no privacy risk in throwing away a a magazine with your name and address on its mailing label?
When I visit, I find her slowly being taken over by stacks of magazines.
Questions -
1) How do you think she got subscribed to all of these magazines -- there's a huge variety. Mostly shopping & store mags.
2) How can I unsubscribe her? Do I need to call EACH magazine? Or is there a way to get all of them at once to stop mailing her? How can I do this as her son ( and not her ) .. maybe I can't ?
3) How can I gently explain that there is no privacy risk in throwing away a a magazine with your name and address on its mailing label?
Well, there's some privacy risk. I mean, a Dumpster diver could go through your mother's trash and get her name and address.
Now, the question of what that person could do with that information is an entirely different matter.
Perhaps your mother is a hoarder. Or perhaps she believes that her name and address could be used for identity theft.
Of course, none of these things are entirely rational.
posted by dfriedman at 12:03 AM on November 30, 2010
Now, the question of what that person could do with that information is an entirely different matter.
Perhaps your mother is a hoarder. Or perhaps she believes that her name and address could be used for identity theft.
Of course, none of these things are entirely rational.
posted by dfriedman at 12:03 AM on November 30, 2010
To address number three, you can buy her an obscuring stamp. Stores like Bed Bath and Beyond have them, too, and I imagine office supply stores do too.
If she doesn't pay for the magazines, they'll stop coming.
...shopping & store mags.
Are you perhaps mistaking catalogues for magazines? If they have the names of stores on them, they are catalogues, and they are free. For catalogs, CatalogChoice has been wonderful.
posted by halogen at 12:05 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]
If she doesn't pay for the magazines, they'll stop coming.
...shopping & store mags.
Are you perhaps mistaking catalogues for magazines? If they have the names of stores on them, they are catalogues, and they are free. For catalogs, CatalogChoice has been wonderful.
posted by halogen at 12:05 AM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]
Well, does SHE want to cancel them? Or do you?
1) How do you think she got subscribed to all of these magazines -- there's a huge variety. Mostly shopping & store mags.
She sent in an order for a subscription ?
2) If they're magazines that you buy at the store, you would have to call each one up and cancel.
Wait, do you mean junk mail/catalogs?
If you mean junk mail, there's tons of ways you can get on mailing lists. Most junk mail isn't addressed to anyone personally just "resident". Some catalogs will be in her name with her address. Some ideas to be removed from junk mail - look at and see if she wants to try those out.
Sometimes they wont take you off the mailing lists when you call them and you may have to resort to other tactics.
Also, simple solutions - black out the address with a sharpie, cut out the address or shred them.
posted by KogeLiz at 12:09 AM on November 30, 2010
1) How do you think she got subscribed to all of these magazines -- there's a huge variety. Mostly shopping & store mags.
She sent in an order for a subscription ?
2) If they're magazines that you buy at the store, you would have to call each one up and cancel.
Wait, do you mean junk mail/catalogs?
If you mean junk mail, there's tons of ways you can get on mailing lists. Most junk mail isn't addressed to anyone personally just "resident". Some catalogs will be in her name with her address. Some ideas to be removed from junk mail - look at and see if she wants to try those out.
Sometimes they wont take you off the mailing lists when you call them and you may have to resort to other tactics.
Also, simple solutions - black out the address with a sharpie, cut out the address or shred them.
posted by KogeLiz at 12:09 AM on November 30, 2010
Buy her a shredder to put the address sheet through.
posted by AnnaRat at 12:22 AM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by AnnaRat at 12:22 AM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]
I used to diligently recycle all my junk mail including envelopes and fliers with my name and address on them. One day I received a registered letter from the city that I had to appear in court on a littering charge. I went to court and they had digital photographs of my junk mail sitting in front of a house three or four blocks away - apparently one of the many homeless people who scrounge through the bins on trash night had taken a bag of my recycling and dropped it on the street. After explaining my side of the story the judge ruled to cut my fine in half, but I still had to pay $75. Now I never ever throw away or recycle anything with my name or address on it, address labels and covers of catalogs and junk mail all get shredded.
posted by bendy at 12:28 AM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by bendy at 12:28 AM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]
privacy risk - tear off first page and shred/burn or whatever to protect contact details and you recycle the rest.
how she subscribed - if they are indeed catalogue type things it's as easy as you order something and unless you tick the box that says 'do not want to be contacted' they'll put you on all manner of mailing lists and 'will share your information with carefully selected third parties'...who will then also add you to their mailing lists.
Or she just sent off for a subscription...the way to tell the difference is does she pay for these 'magazines' or are they delivered free of charge.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:30 AM on November 30, 2010
how she subscribed - if they are indeed catalogue type things it's as easy as you order something and unless you tick the box that says 'do not want to be contacted' they'll put you on all manner of mailing lists and 'will share your information with carefully selected third parties'...who will then also add you to their mailing lists.
Or she just sent off for a subscription...the way to tell the difference is does she pay for these 'magazines' or are they delivered free of charge.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:30 AM on November 30, 2010
and then burn them in the fireplace?
You really shouldn't burn large amounts of paper in a domestic fireplace.
posted by Cyrano at 12:38 AM on November 30, 2010
You really shouldn't burn large amounts of paper in a domestic fireplace.
posted by Cyrano at 12:38 AM on November 30, 2010
Either shred the page with the address info, or else use a permanent marker to color over it. People do that to magazines they donate to doctor's offices and salons.
Catalog Choice is awesome unless you do business with the particular company. For example, I used CC to cancel the HomeTrends catalog. Then I later bought something off the HomeTrends website. This resulted in me being readded to their catalog list and requiring a new cancel request. So if your mom frequently orders out of any catalogs or their websites, she might not really see a decrease in those particular catalogs.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:56 AM on November 30, 2010
Catalog Choice is awesome unless you do business with the particular company. For example, I used CC to cancel the HomeTrends catalog. Then I later bought something off the HomeTrends website. This resulted in me being readded to their catalog list and requiring a new cancel request. So if your mom frequently orders out of any catalogs or their websites, she might not really see a decrease in those particular catalogs.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:56 AM on November 30, 2010
Mother gets 10-15 new magazines in the mail every day.
So that's 300+ magazines or catalogs a month? That's either a crazy overestimate or a crazy amount of garbage in the mail. (We get one or two catalogs and zero magazines a month.)
She doesn't want to get rid of the old ones because of a privacy risk?
Offer to recycle them. Tell her that an industrial shredder that will reduce them all to an unreadable wordless mash that will be returned to paper production, so it's completely private and ecological.
If she actually wants to get rid of them, she will let you do this. What you really do with them depends on what's available in your area. City dump? Real recycling opportunities? Do the closest thing you can to actually pulping and reusing the paper. Don't tell your mom if it's anything less than super-high security shredding and recycling. Then work on removing her from lists or refusing delivery. Maybe you can return to sender?
If she doesn't want you to do this, she's something between a collector and a hoarder. One is considered healthy in some parts. The other is considered wacky. Don't let her become one of those old loons who are one day found crushed to death under stacks of crap they wouldn't throw away.
posted by pracowity at 2:02 AM on November 30, 2010
So that's 300+ magazines or catalogs a month? That's either a crazy overestimate or a crazy amount of garbage in the mail. (We get one or two catalogs and zero magazines a month.)
She doesn't want to get rid of the old ones because of a privacy risk?
Offer to recycle them. Tell her that an industrial shredder that will reduce them all to an unreadable wordless mash that will be returned to paper production, so it's completely private and ecological.
If she actually wants to get rid of them, she will let you do this. What you really do with them depends on what's available in your area. City dump? Real recycling opportunities? Do the closest thing you can to actually pulping and reusing the paper. Don't tell your mom if it's anything less than super-high security shredding and recycling. Then work on removing her from lists or refusing delivery. Maybe you can return to sender?
If she doesn't want you to do this, she's something between a collector and a hoarder. One is considered healthy in some parts. The other is considered wacky. Don't let her become one of those old loons who are one day found crushed to death under stacks of crap they wouldn't throw away.
posted by pracowity at 2:02 AM on November 30, 2010
If she is hoarding them, it's an anxiety thing. Taking them away by force would be bad. Offer her a shredder for Christmas and see what she says.
posted by SMPA at 3:04 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by SMPA at 3:04 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
The connection of an irrational fear and disrupting behavior suggests a compulsion.
posted by Ironmouth at 3:08 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Ironmouth at 3:08 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I use this stamp to block my name & address on mail before I toss it. It's pretty nifty. Part of the sales presentation, though, is scaring people about having their identity stolen via an address label. I'm sure it's happened before, but not at the frequency the local news and privacy stamp makers scream about.
If she does start recycling them, don't unsubscribe her without her permission. Some people love receiving and looking through magazines and catalogs.
posted by ladygypsy at 4:25 AM on November 30, 2010
If she does start recycling them, don't unsubscribe her without her permission. Some people love receiving and looking through magazines and catalogs.
posted by ladygypsy at 4:25 AM on November 30, 2010
If they really are magazines and not catalogs, it may be difficult to cancel them, depending on how they were set up, which could be through door-to-door magazine sales (usually a scam!), discount magazine offers through something like publisher's clearing house, or those offers you'll sometimes get with your credit card bill. If it's one of those ways, you'll have to contact that company, rather than the magazine directly. Can you check her credit card bills to see if she's getting charged for any of these magazines? If so, then you'll know which company to contact. Even if you aren't able to cancel them, definitely make sure that they're not set up to auto-renew and re-bill her.
Of course, if they're catalogs, none of that is relevant.
posted by dizziest at 5:56 AM on November 30, 2010
Of course, if they're catalogs, none of that is relevant.
posted by dizziest at 5:56 AM on November 30, 2010
Well, there's some privacy risk. I mean, a Dumpster diver could go through your mother's trash and get her name and address.
If they are dumpster diving, they already know where she lives. Because they are already there, rooting through the trash.
A name and an address aren't private things.
And agreed, this seems like it is about something else. Tearing the cover off and shredding it seems like a far more rational and less difficult thing than storing all of these publications.
posted by gjc at 6:21 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
Fear of having information stolen from address labels on magazines is a common one in people over, oh, 55ish? ... I sort-of vaguely remember a rash of issues relating to it maybe in the 80s?
Anyway, easiest solution, assuming this isn't a hoarding issue, is to tear off the address page and recycle the rest of the magazine/catalog. She can either buy a shredder or stick them all in a box and take them all to Office Max/Kinko's/whatever once every couple of months where they super-shred for a buck a pound.
(Most catalogs, if you don't buy anything for a particular period of time (12 months, 24 months, 36 months, whatever), will stop sending to you, because it's expensive. Some are zombie catalogs, though, and never. ever. die.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:29 AM on November 30, 2010
Anyway, easiest solution, assuming this isn't a hoarding issue, is to tear off the address page and recycle the rest of the magazine/catalog. She can either buy a shredder or stick them all in a box and take them all to Office Max/Kinko's/whatever once every couple of months where they super-shred for a buck a pound.
(Most catalogs, if you don't buy anything for a particular period of time (12 months, 24 months, 36 months, whatever), will stop sending to you, because it's expensive. Some are zombie catalogs, though, and never. ever. die.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:29 AM on November 30, 2010
Best answer: oh, my point was, fear of personal information being taken off address labels is kinda outdated, but not necessarily a sign of a mental health problem ... it's a common behavior in people my parents' age because for a while it was What Responsible People Did and the news used to remind you to do it diligently and so forth. I even remember a news reporter demonstrating how to cut out your address from a magazine!
I think it's like how after we go to thought-wave passwords and you just have to think "puppy" and our cybernetic overlords will recognize your brain waves, I'll still be thinking, "xdF&h3el!NM0" because that's what I learned a password should be like when I was young. And doubtless my spawn will wonder if I've lost my mind.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:33 AM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]
I think it's like how after we go to thought-wave passwords and you just have to think "puppy" and our cybernetic overlords will recognize your brain waves, I'll still be thinking, "xdF&h3el!NM0" because that's what I learned a password should be like when I was young. And doubtless my spawn will wonder if I've lost my mind.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:33 AM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I went through this with my elderly in-laws. Not the hoarding, but the continual onslaught of catalogs (which is likely what she is getting).
The most effective way to get her off is indeed calling each one. However, one call can often knock her off of a couple of different things. After my in-laws died (and we moved into their apartment), I was getting 3-4 catalogs a day. One afternoon, I sat down with a stack. It was easiest to do this with the actual catalog in hand. They usually have a phone number to place orders, which you can also use to get taken off the list. Another important thing is that the catalogs also often have a "Customer Number" printed on them which makes it much easier for the representative you speak with to find her in the database. Make sure to ask to have her take off all of the catalogs they send (some stores will send many different ones target at women, men, kids, home, etc.)
It took me less than an hour to call about 20 different companies. The whole thing was fairly painless, and the reps were all totally polite. Just be forewarned that it can take between 6 and 12 weeks for the catalogs to actually stop, depending on the printing and mailing cycle of the company. But they will stop.
posted by kimdog at 6:43 AM on November 30, 2010
The most effective way to get her off is indeed calling each one. However, one call can often knock her off of a couple of different things. After my in-laws died (and we moved into their apartment), I was getting 3-4 catalogs a day. One afternoon, I sat down with a stack. It was easiest to do this with the actual catalog in hand. They usually have a phone number to place orders, which you can also use to get taken off the list. Another important thing is that the catalogs also often have a "Customer Number" printed on them which makes it much easier for the representative you speak with to find her in the database. Make sure to ask to have her take off all of the catalogs they send (some stores will send many different ones target at women, men, kids, home, etc.)
It took me less than an hour to call about 20 different companies. The whole thing was fairly painless, and the reps were all totally polite. Just be forewarned that it can take between 6 and 12 weeks for the catalogs to actually stop, depending on the printing and mailing cycle of the company. But they will stop.
posted by kimdog at 6:43 AM on November 30, 2010
If they are magazines...definitely make sure that they're not set up to auto-renew and re-bill her.
I want to emphasize this. When you sign up for a "one-year subscription" many people think that will automatically cancel at the end of that year. It doesn't. If the magazine was paid with a credit card, it will almost always renew unless you call to cancel specifically. If it was paid via check, they will keep sending you magazines and bills for the next year. I think legally you don't have to pay those, but it's still a lot of annoying mail that gets more urgent-sounding every month.
posted by CathyG at 8:25 AM on November 30, 2010
I want to emphasize this. When you sign up for a "one-year subscription" many people think that will automatically cancel at the end of that year. It doesn't. If the magazine was paid with a credit card, it will almost always renew unless you call to cancel specifically. If it was paid via check, they will keep sending you magazines and bills for the next year. I think legally you don't have to pay those, but it's still a lot of annoying mail that gets more urgent-sounding every month.
posted by CathyG at 8:25 AM on November 30, 2010
obscuring or removing the address labels isn't a sign of mental illness or compulsion - i mean, i suppose it can be - but lots and lots of people have that concern for a number of reasons. certainly most of the reasons are outdated, but there's no reason to fight that fight, really.
does she like to get these magazines? i've known a lot of (usually) elderly people who sign up for everything under the sun - i think they like feeling like they're important enough to get mail. as well as tackling the main issue (removing the addresses, disposing of the stacks) you might have you and the other family members all rwrite her once a week.
posted by nadawi at 8:32 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
does she like to get these magazines? i've known a lot of (usually) elderly people who sign up for everything under the sun - i think they like feeling like they're important enough to get mail. as well as tackling the main issue (removing the addresses, disposing of the stacks) you might have you and the other family members all rwrite her once a week.
posted by nadawi at 8:32 AM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]
It seems silly to worry about putting your address in the trash barrels, when nearly all houses have an unlocked box of fresh mail right next to the curb.
posted by smackfu at 10:46 AM on November 30, 2010
posted by smackfu at 10:46 AM on November 30, 2010
Response by poster: All great comments and suggestions! Thank you all so much for your help.
And yes, I did mistakenly refer to all the junk catalogs as magazines in my initial post -- whoops! :)
posted by jason9009 at 11:41 AM on November 30, 2010
And yes, I did mistakenly refer to all the junk catalogs as magazines in my initial post -- whoops! :)
posted by jason9009 at 11:41 AM on November 30, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:00 AM on November 30, 2010