Do you know of any counseling services at Overlook Hospital in NJ?
November 16, 2010 12:54 PM Subscribe
Does anyone have any experience with Overlook Hospital in Summit, NJ, specific to family support/counseling (family of a patient, that is)?
Please forgive if this is a bit scattered.
My boyfriend's mom is at Overlook Hospital in Summit NJ and is very seriously ill. At the same time, his dad (they are divorced) is in another hospital not too far away, also gravely ill. Very incredibly bad and awful timing.
My BF and his sister are there trying to care for both parents, and make plans for both etc. (plans that are painful for all) and are literally unable to communicate without screaming, accusations, tears and complete and utter lack of understanding. It's honestly like they are both speaking different languages.
They are just about off the edge of being able to deal, and their fighting is making a terrible situation about 5 times worse.
I think they really need to sit down, like immediately, with a neutral third party to help them get out what they need to get out, see if they can help them communicate a little better right now, and can get them calm enough to work together on plans.
Overlook hospital sounds like a wonderful place - does anyone here have any experience at Overlook hospital with family support, counseling, social work - anything that could help them get ahold of themselves so they can work together??
They need help urgently and quickly, or the result might be really dire for all of them. Thanks so much.
Please forgive if this is a bit scattered.
My boyfriend's mom is at Overlook Hospital in Summit NJ and is very seriously ill. At the same time, his dad (they are divorced) is in another hospital not too far away, also gravely ill. Very incredibly bad and awful timing.
My BF and his sister are there trying to care for both parents, and make plans for both etc. (plans that are painful for all) and are literally unable to communicate without screaming, accusations, tears and complete and utter lack of understanding. It's honestly like they are both speaking different languages.
They are just about off the edge of being able to deal, and their fighting is making a terrible situation about 5 times worse.
I think they really need to sit down, like immediately, with a neutral third party to help them get out what they need to get out, see if they can help them communicate a little better right now, and can get them calm enough to work together on plans.
Overlook hospital sounds like a wonderful place - does anyone here have any experience at Overlook hospital with family support, counseling, social work - anything that could help them get ahold of themselves so they can work together??
They need help urgently and quickly, or the result might be really dire for all of them. Thanks so much.
Response by poster: Thanks roomthreeseventeen - for various reasons, I can't, though I know that would be easiest/best.
posted by tristeza at 12:59 PM on November 16, 2010
posted by tristeza at 12:59 PM on November 16, 2010
I want to make sure I'm clear, your boyfriend and his sister are fighting over what to do with their mother? Is their mother ill enough that hospice might get involved? I ask because I have experience both with Overlook and hospice and if the mother's situation is that serious, hospice has counselors that deal with the family and their issues as a part of the job.
posted by crankylex at 1:04 PM on November 16, 2010
posted by crankylex at 1:04 PM on November 16, 2010
Response by poster: crankylex - yes and yes. (and fighting over what to do with dad, a whole other nightmare).
Thank you, I didn't know they had that service. (I'm at a great distance, just trying to gather resources/ideas for help)
posted by tristeza at 1:08 PM on November 16, 2010
Thank you, I didn't know they had that service. (I'm at a great distance, just trying to gather resources/ideas for help)
posted by tristeza at 1:08 PM on November 16, 2010
It's a good hospital, I have personally received care there on several occasions. Overlook is a part of Atlantic Health System, this is the link to their Hospice info.
posted by crankylex at 1:14 PM on November 16, 2010
posted by crankylex at 1:14 PM on November 16, 2010
Ask the attending. I agree. But you will have to take action.
My mom passed away in Overlook a few months ago and they weren't particularly forthcoming with help or what was available. They were, however, very responsive to inquiry. For example, when we asked his she had the sacrament of anointing the sick, they were quick to find out that it was 'no' and doubly quick to send for a priest.
I will offer you a piece of free advice with regards to our experience - in the time after she died to the time when the executor could take over her estate, someone got a hold of her bank information and charged, via ATM, $10K worth of concert tickets. Me and my brothers got that sorted out quickly. To prevent that, when it is clear that your mom won't need her assets anymore, they should be frozen solid until the estate can take over. After we found the barn door open, the bank shut it quickly, but it was one more thing to deal with on top of the rest.
I'm sorry for your pain at this time. It is a very intense, emotional time. I/we were fortunate in that each of us were playing to our strengths and worked together. I hope you can find that space too.
posted by plinth at 5:35 PM on November 16, 2010
My mom passed away in Overlook a few months ago and they weren't particularly forthcoming with help or what was available. They were, however, very responsive to inquiry. For example, when we asked his she had the sacrament of anointing the sick, they were quick to find out that it was 'no' and doubly quick to send for a priest.
I will offer you a piece of free advice with regards to our experience - in the time after she died to the time when the executor could take over her estate, someone got a hold of her bank information and charged, via ATM, $10K worth of concert tickets. Me and my brothers got that sorted out quickly. To prevent that, when it is clear that your mom won't need her assets anymore, they should be frozen solid until the estate can take over. After we found the barn door open, the bank shut it quickly, but it was one more thing to deal with on top of the rest.
I'm sorry for your pain at this time. It is a very intense, emotional time. I/we were fortunate in that each of us were playing to our strengths and worked together. I hope you can find that space too.
posted by plinth at 5:35 PM on November 16, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:56 PM on November 16, 2010