"Would you like to collect some more in-depth data collection on me, mmm?"
October 29, 2010 4:31 PM Subscribe
I recently participated in a research study. The cute guy helping with the research and I clicked a lot. I have his personal e-mail from our pre-study communication. Would it be weird or unkosher for me to ask him out to coffee?
Today, I took part in a research study. There, I met a rather dapper gentleman helping administer the study. We meshed instantly and started talking constantly during all of the lengthy mandatory waiting periods between each part of the long study. I thought he was pretty rad, and I think he found me pretty rad too. If we had met in any other context, I would have thought without hesitation to ask to get to know him more.
Now, it would probably be weird if he asked me out or something like that... I do human subjects research, myself, and that would be a huge no-no. However, I don't quite know how acceptable it would be to go the other way. He doesn't have any private health information of mine, there's nothing much of interest he could have learned about me specifically from the study, and there's no reason for us to interact in the future, now, so it wouldn't be squicky at all in that regard.
Metafilter, should I ask this research assistant out? (I have to e-mail him either way with a legitimate question, in fact!) Is that OK? If so, do you have any funny/cheesy one-liners/quips about the oddity of this situation, because I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate that sort of thing. Thanks! ;)
Today, I took part in a research study. There, I met a rather dapper gentleman helping administer the study. We meshed instantly and started talking constantly during all of the lengthy mandatory waiting periods between each part of the long study. I thought he was pretty rad, and I think he found me pretty rad too. If we had met in any other context, I would have thought without hesitation to ask to get to know him more.
Now, it would probably be weird if he asked me out or something like that... I do human subjects research, myself, and that would be a huge no-no. However, I don't quite know how acceptable it would be to go the other way. He doesn't have any private health information of mine, there's nothing much of interest he could have learned about me specifically from the study, and there's no reason for us to interact in the future, now, so it wouldn't be squicky at all in that regard.
Metafilter, should I ask this research assistant out? (I have to e-mail him either way with a legitimate question, in fact!) Is that OK? If so, do you have any funny/cheesy one-liners/quips about the oddity of this situation, because I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate that sort of thing. Thanks! ;)
Totally in the clear. Ask away. It would be inappropriate for him to ask you, I think, since he was organizing the experiment, but it's okay for you to initiate.
posted by heresiarch at 4:41 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by heresiarch at 4:41 PM on October 29, 2010
Absolutely. He can't initiate ethically, I'd think, but there doesn't seem to be any reason for you not to try. If he feels it's unethical (or isn't into you), he can make his own excuses.
posted by jeather at 4:48 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by jeather at 4:48 PM on October 29, 2010
If so, do you have any funny/cheesy one-liners/quips about the oddity of this situation, because I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate that sort of thing.
You could joke about how much you're hoping the attractive, interesting guy in the waiting room wasn't planted there as part of the research design. And actually, he might have been - I've certainly read studies where that was the case. Maybe wait until you've been fully debriefed before you get your hopes up too much?
posted by embrangled at 5:03 PM on October 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
You could joke about how much you're hoping the attractive, interesting guy in the waiting room wasn't planted there as part of the research design. And actually, he might have been - I've certainly read studies where that was the case. Maybe wait until you've been fully debriefed before you get your hopes up too much?
posted by embrangled at 5:03 PM on October 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
embrangled has a point. If the attractive flirty guy isn't part of the experiment, then ask. Worst case for him is he throws you out as a data point in his study.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 5:12 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by Mister Fabulous at 5:12 PM on October 29, 2010
I administer studies with undergrads; mostly upperclassmen. (I'm three and a half years out of undergrad myself.) I would feel inappropriate asking out a participant, but would feel flattered if one of them asked me out. If I were single, and we hit it off, and if the study were over, I would likely accept.
I like embrangled's line, but for me, something simple would work just as well: "I thought the study was interesting and I enjoyed meeting you; would you like to get a drink sometime and tell me more about the research?" Unless he's exceptionally dense, he will get the idea, and that you don't really want to hear that much about the research.
posted by supercres at 5:12 PM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
I like embrangled's line, but for me, something simple would work just as well: "I thought the study was interesting and I enjoyed meeting you; would you like to get a drink sometime and tell me more about the research?" Unless he's exceptionally dense, he will get the idea, and that you don't really want to hear that much about the research.
posted by supercres at 5:12 PM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Another data point in the human subject study of the mefi population: go for it.
posted by Triton at 5:15 PM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Triton at 5:15 PM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
"I thought the study was interesting and I enjoyed meeting you; would you like to get a drink sometime and tell me more about the research?"
Edited for clarity. You don't need the excuse of asking about the research; just invite him for a drink/coffee/dinner.
posted by Forktine at 6:08 PM on October 29, 2010 [6 favorites]
Edited for clarity. You don't need the excuse of asking about the research; just invite him for a drink/coffee/dinner.
posted by Forktine at 6:08 PM on October 29, 2010 [6 favorites]
If the study is over, it seems fine. But you say you have a legit research-related question to ask him, which makes it sound like perhaps it isn't over.
posted by needs more cowbell at 6:25 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by needs more cowbell at 6:25 PM on October 29, 2010
Of course he'll dig it; he's a guy.
posted by darth_tedious at 6:42 PM on October 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by darth_tedious at 6:42 PM on October 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
The wikipedia article on "Misattribution of arousal" describes an experiment in which an attractive research assistant gave their phone number to participants, specifically to see how many asked the assistant out.
posted by jjwiseman at 6:52 PM on October 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by jjwiseman at 6:52 PM on October 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
I would email him and tell him you are doing some research of your own having to do with subjects asking out research assistants. Would he get together for a coffee to see how it goes?
posted by AugustWest at 9:13 PM on October 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 9:13 PM on October 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
"Hey Mr., Wanna see my methods and results? *wink* Let's discuss. Over drinks."
Seriously, can't hurt to ask him out. Keep the email friendly, short and clear.
posted by ShadePlant at 6:00 AM on October 30, 2010
Seriously, can't hurt to ask him out. Keep the email friendly, short and clear.
posted by ShadePlant at 6:00 AM on October 30, 2010
No no no. I am a graduate student in psychology and he CAN NOT say yes to your offer even if he wants to, if he's serious about going by the IRB playbook, unless the study is over and data has already been analyzed and submitted for publication. There is a reason you can only use your friends and family as pilot data and not real subjects. It's less of a big deal if he's not the one looking at data and doing analysis, and there's probably no conflict if he can not possibly know your individual results, but otherwise he shouldn't accept.
That said, the ethics side is his problem and you can ask and see what he says.
posted by slow graffiti at 7:36 AM on October 30, 2010
That said, the ethics side is his problem and you can ask and see what he says.
posted by slow graffiti at 7:36 AM on October 30, 2010
Ah, I live and breathe IRB nonsense and I disagree that there is any line to be crossed here. He has the data, you're no longer a research subject, and assuming it's anonymized data (almost certainly) you might as well be a totally new person from now on. How does his dating you corrupt his data?
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:43 AM on October 30, 2010
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:43 AM on October 30, 2010
Also, there's a really good chance he's not the PI on the study but merely hired labor, which means he would not be bound by any IRB constraints outside of the experimental context.
Overthinking it. Unless he's evaluating you in the future you're free to roll with it.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:45 AM on October 30, 2010
Overthinking it. Unless he's evaluating you in the future you're free to roll with it.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:45 AM on October 30, 2010
I know a couple who met this way. Key facts: the study had concluded, the subject was the one who initiated the social contact, the researcher was not the PI, and the researcher got an OK from the PI before going forward. They've been together for many years and are very happy.
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 9:35 AM on October 30, 2010
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 9:35 AM on October 30, 2010
These studies can take a long, long time to be "finished". Until it's done, he cannot talk to you about it. So I wouldn't ask him about it (beyond mentioning that you'd like to know when it's published), I'd just ask him out. (What do you have to lose? Nothing.)
posted by anaelith at 12:09 PM on October 30, 2010
posted by anaelith at 12:09 PM on October 30, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:34 PM on October 29, 2010 [2 favorites]