Peter Picked a Peck of Pimples?
October 29, 2010 7:09 AM Subscribe
Please help me to stop picking!
I'm a female who picks.
I often have to fight the urge to pick at the pimples, what few I do have, on my face. I occasionally go too far in plucking my eyebrows, and end up digging into my skin for that "troublesome little hair". I bite...no, almost chew on my lips to the point of frequent roughness if not, every few months, bloody scabs. I chew on one side of my tongue to where it now has a disgusting white line that looks like plaque but is instead just dead skin.
I don't do all of these things every day, except for the lip nibbling and tongue chewing, but often enough that others certainly notice and comment on how pretty I look when I don't bite my lips.
I'm neither interested in therapy nor can I pay for it. I do not consider myself OCD and except for my lips (which I can keep looking nice for about two weeks before picking) find myself to be rather attractive.
And as bad as this might sound, I'm thinking I just need a different focus........I'm considering plucking my pubic hair with the aid of some numbing gel. I shave, but it's still uncomfortable.............so I figure this could "kill two birds with one stone": 1. be hairless down there and 2. direct the urge to pick away from my face.
So I guess this is a two, or even three, part question.
1. How do I stop picking my face?
2. Is this weird? Is there anyone else who does this in a fashion that's more than just the offhand pimple squeeze?
3. Am I crazy for wanting to pluck my pubic hair? Do others do this?
A throwaway e-mail just in case.
fouctailou@garrifulio.mailexpire.com
I'm a female who picks.
I often have to fight the urge to pick at the pimples, what few I do have, on my face. I occasionally go too far in plucking my eyebrows, and end up digging into my skin for that "troublesome little hair". I bite...no, almost chew on my lips to the point of frequent roughness if not, every few months, bloody scabs. I chew on one side of my tongue to where it now has a disgusting white line that looks like plaque but is instead just dead skin.
I don't do all of these things every day, except for the lip nibbling and tongue chewing, but often enough that others certainly notice and comment on how pretty I look when I don't bite my lips.
I'm neither interested in therapy nor can I pay for it. I do not consider myself OCD and except for my lips (which I can keep looking nice for about two weeks before picking) find myself to be rather attractive.
And as bad as this might sound, I'm thinking I just need a different focus........I'm considering plucking my pubic hair with the aid of some numbing gel. I shave, but it's still uncomfortable.............so I figure this could "kill two birds with one stone": 1. be hairless down there and 2. direct the urge to pick away from my face.
So I guess this is a two, or even three, part question.
1. How do I stop picking my face?
2. Is this weird? Is there anyone else who does this in a fashion that's more than just the offhand pimple squeeze?
3. Am I crazy for wanting to pluck my pubic hair? Do others do this?
A throwaway e-mail just in case.
fouctailou@garrifulio.mailexpire.com
Some reading - Trichotillomania, Onychophagia, Dermatillomania.
posted by fire&wings at 7:16 AM on October 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by fire&wings at 7:16 AM on October 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
See if this wikipedia article on Trichotillomania describes your symptoms more accurately; it's a DSM-IV classified disorder, so don't feel like you're alone or "a freak" for having to deal with this.
posted by holterbarbour at 7:19 AM on October 29, 2010
posted by holterbarbour at 7:19 AM on October 29, 2010
Do you have any trusted friends or family members who can help you? I've got a couple friends who will notice when I do it (I mostly touch my face when I'm thinking) and my mom will actually reach over and smack my hand away (nicely, she outgrew her mommy dearest phase). Unfortunately this doesn't help when I'm alone, which is most of the time. Then I just try to keep my hands busy with crafts when I'm thinking.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:20 AM on October 29, 2010
posted by elsietheeel at 7:20 AM on October 29, 2010
My parents and siblings always make fun of me for being a "picker" - not as severe as you, though. I enjoy plucking and pore extractions a lot, probably more than most people. It's just so satisfying to remove something that shouldn't be there! I have gone too far on eyebrows on occasion to get that last little hair and ended up getting skin, too. So to answer question 2, I'd say that you aren't the only one out there that likes picking, but it is a little excessive - I'd consider anything that causes bloody scabs and dead skin a bit over the top.
I have heard of others plucking pubic hair, but I'd be careful about doing it as a way to "direct the urge to pick away from [your] face" - it seems likely that this would backfire by just giving you one extra place to pluck but not really divert you from doing the other things. This wouldn't really distract you from chewing on your lips, either.
You could try a hypnotist. I know some people don't believe in it, but I do know 2 people that went and now don't do the behaviors they went in for (smoking and teeth grinding). Maybe it's a placebo effect, but whatever, the end result is the same.
posted by coupdefoudre at 7:26 AM on October 29, 2010
I have heard of others plucking pubic hair, but I'd be careful about doing it as a way to "direct the urge to pick away from [your] face" - it seems likely that this would backfire by just giving you one extra place to pluck but not really divert you from doing the other things. This wouldn't really distract you from chewing on your lips, either.
You could try a hypnotist. I know some people don't believe in it, but I do know 2 people that went and now don't do the behaviors they went in for (smoking and teeth grinding). Maybe it's a placebo effect, but whatever, the end result is the same.
posted by coupdefoudre at 7:26 AM on October 29, 2010
I'm an inside-cheek-chewer. It's anxiety. Are you on any meds or will consider it? I had to get a night guard to stop because cheek chewing the way we do can lead to an increase in oral cancer.
posted by stormpooper at 7:29 AM on October 29, 2010
posted by stormpooper at 7:29 AM on October 29, 2010
i used to be a lip and cheek biter. i found gum chewing and sucking candies to be a great distraction (keep your mouth busy!). might help for your lip and tongue chewing/nibbling!
posted by sabh at 7:29 AM on October 29, 2010
posted by sabh at 7:29 AM on October 29, 2010
I do this often as well, and what I find most helpful is to have some kind of distraction for my hands and fingers. Ideally this would be something which is not another body part, e.g. a rubber band to snap between forefinger and thumb, or a piece of blu-tac to roll into a ball, then a sausage, then an ammonite, then a ball again.
When there's nothing to hand, I try to twirl a little lock of my hair between my fingers instead. If I gently loop and unloop it around my finger, then I find this satisfies my craving to be 'picking' at something, but without doing any actual damage.
posted by greenfelttip at 7:32 AM on October 29, 2010
When there's nothing to hand, I try to twirl a little lock of my hair between my fingers instead. If I gently loop and unloop it around my finger, then I find this satisfies my craving to be 'picking' at something, but without doing any actual damage.
posted by greenfelttip at 7:32 AM on October 29, 2010
Yeah, not all that weird. I have habits very similar to this, and a lot of people I know do too. I used to bite my fingernails down to painful stumps, and I occasionally have bouts of face picking that are damaging. It's gotten a bit better; I now have (short) fingernails that I actually clip with a clippers sometimes, and fewer scars from picking my facial skin.
Here's what's helped me improve a bit:
1. Redirection. I don't think plucking your pubes is too weird an idea, but if you have issues with digging into your eyebrow skin you'll probably have the same issue there.
So if you MUST do this for grooming reasons and you end up digging into your skin, PLEASE make sure you wash your hands well/often and sterilize your tweezers etc beforehand. Also, you need to come up with a way of stopping yourself before you get too crazy about chasing down that last little prickly bit. I'm ridiculously pluck-happy but like to pluck my eyebrows - so I set a timer for 5 or 10 min at a time and when it rings, my time is up and I MAKE MYSELF put down the tweezers and go do something else distracting immediately.
Lip chewing, like nailbiting, is tough because you can't very well get rid of your lips. So you probably need something satisfying to do that you can keep with you. Something that worked for me in the short term was painting my nails with clear polish and then picking it off. Kind of icky but not really damaging and relatively subtle. I also rip paper into small pieces, or unfold/refold the same small bit of paper/foil etc. over and over.
2. Awareness. Part of the difficulty is just becoming aware of when you're doing this stuff. When I was trying to quit nailbiting, I used to set an alarm for 10-20 min. intervals. It was just a way of bringing my attention back to the action. BEEP BEEP: Am I biting my nails? If yes, consciously tell myself to stop. It took awhile, but eventually I got into the habit of checking in with myself without the alarm, and noticing when my hand went to my mouth. That helped a lot.
3. Dealing with stress in other ways - good nutrition, getting enough sleep, exercise, medication if necessary. When I'm stressed, I don't WANT to stop picking even if I notice that I'm doing it. Having other outlets to deal with the stress both gave me a distraction from picking/biting and reduced the need to pick/bite.
posted by Knicke at 7:38 AM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Here's what's helped me improve a bit:
1. Redirection. I don't think plucking your pubes is too weird an idea, but if you have issues with digging into your eyebrow skin you'll probably have the same issue there.
So if you MUST do this for grooming reasons and you end up digging into your skin, PLEASE make sure you wash your hands well/often and sterilize your tweezers etc beforehand. Also, you need to come up with a way of stopping yourself before you get too crazy about chasing down that last little prickly bit. I'm ridiculously pluck-happy but like to pluck my eyebrows - so I set a timer for 5 or 10 min at a time and when it rings, my time is up and I MAKE MYSELF put down the tweezers and go do something else distracting immediately.
Lip chewing, like nailbiting, is tough because you can't very well get rid of your lips. So you probably need something satisfying to do that you can keep with you. Something that worked for me in the short term was painting my nails with clear polish and then picking it off. Kind of icky but not really damaging and relatively subtle. I also rip paper into small pieces, or unfold/refold the same small bit of paper/foil etc. over and over.
2. Awareness. Part of the difficulty is just becoming aware of when you're doing this stuff. When I was trying to quit nailbiting, I used to set an alarm for 10-20 min. intervals. It was just a way of bringing my attention back to the action. BEEP BEEP: Am I biting my nails? If yes, consciously tell myself to stop. It took awhile, but eventually I got into the habit of checking in with myself without the alarm, and noticing when my hand went to my mouth. That helped a lot.
3. Dealing with stress in other ways - good nutrition, getting enough sleep, exercise, medication if necessary. When I'm stressed, I don't WANT to stop picking even if I notice that I'm doing it. Having other outlets to deal with the stress both gave me a distraction from picking/biting and reduced the need to pick/bite.
posted by Knicke at 7:38 AM on October 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
1. Make it harder for yourself- get rid of any little hand mirrors, so you always have to go to the bathroom when you get the urge to pick.
Take a close-up of your skin when it is looking its best, and one of your skin when you have inflamed it by picking, and pin them up side by side somewhere prominent.
fiddle with something else - plasticine, bluetack, take up cross stitch!
Treat yourself to really nice lotion, lipstick or hand cream and take time applying it, learn to enjoy cosseting your skin instead of torturing it.
when you're plucking your eyebrows, stand back from the mirror and see if you can see the little hairs from a foot away - tell yourself no one else can see them but they will see the redness!
2. As you're seeing, tonnes of people do these kind of things
3. Seems an extension of what you're already doing. Distract yourself as people have mentioned, scabs there are not good!
and changing these habits does take a long time and a lot of persistence, go easy on yourself!
posted by runincircles at 8:20 AM on October 29, 2010
Take a close-up of your skin when it is looking its best, and one of your skin when you have inflamed it by picking, and pin them up side by side somewhere prominent.
fiddle with something else - plasticine, bluetack, take up cross stitch!
Treat yourself to really nice lotion, lipstick or hand cream and take time applying it, learn to enjoy cosseting your skin instead of torturing it.
when you're plucking your eyebrows, stand back from the mirror and see if you can see the little hairs from a foot away - tell yourself no one else can see them but they will see the redness!
2. As you're seeing, tonnes of people do these kind of things
3. Seems an extension of what you're already doing. Distract yourself as people have mentioned, scabs there are not good!
and changing these habits does take a long time and a lot of persistence, go easy on yourself!
posted by runincircles at 8:20 AM on October 29, 2010
I chew on pens at work a bunch. Maybe that'd help with the lip chewing?
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:31 AM on October 29, 2010
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:31 AM on October 29, 2010
I used to pick my cuticles, thumbs, and lips. One physical thing that really helped me was getting acrylic nails. The edges of the nails are much, much thicker than your usual nail, which doesn't allow you as much purchase with which to pick. Fake nails are also hella sturdy, so I found that I could kind of 'chew' on the nails, which kept my teeth from chewing on my more fragile lips and cheeks.
Also--maybe try waxing for the hair thing? I used to do the same with my eyebrows, and finally stopped when I started getting them waxed. Now I just tell myself they are perfect when I leave the salon, and I know that my waxer will yell at me if I mess with them in between then and my next appointment.
Neither are cheap fixes, but might help redirect--it did for me.
posted by stellaluna at 11:25 AM on October 29, 2010
Also--maybe try waxing for the hair thing? I used to do the same with my eyebrows, and finally stopped when I started getting them waxed. Now I just tell myself they are perfect when I leave the salon, and I know that my waxer will yell at me if I mess with them in between then and my next appointment.
Neither are cheap fixes, but might help redirect--it did for me.
posted by stellaluna at 11:25 AM on October 29, 2010
Put dimmer bulbs in the bathroom, at least in the mirror area. I am a face-picker and found that one 60-watt bulb is plenty for me to see what I need to see, but doesn't show me in gory detail every single smidgen of imperfection when I'm just glancing at the mirror on the way to using the toilet or taking a shower.
I actually also have a dimmer switch in the bathroom. It's easy to get full brightness by double-clicking it so it's not too much of a pain for others in my household. When my boyfriend moved in he insisted on putting another 60-watt bulb by the mirror, but with my dimmer switch I still mostly manage to stay out of trouble.
Good luck.
posted by marble at 6:34 PM on October 29, 2010
I actually also have a dimmer switch in the bathroom. It's easy to get full brightness by double-clicking it so it's not too much of a pain for others in my household. When my boyfriend moved in he insisted on putting another 60-watt bulb by the mirror, but with my dimmer switch I still mostly manage to stay out of trouble.
Good luck.
posted by marble at 6:34 PM on October 29, 2010
I had a related question a few weeks ago, although I haven't successfully implemented the suggestions yet. :(
posted by Jacqueline at 7:02 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by Jacqueline at 7:02 PM on October 29, 2010
This thread might help you find a substitute behaviour.
posted by lollusc at 7:20 PM on October 29, 2010
posted by lollusc at 7:20 PM on October 29, 2010
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Where was I, anyway? Oh yes: lots of people have a twitchy habit like this. Sometimes the best you can do is redirect it somewhere where it won't actually do you any physical harm. It's a (very minor, usually) form of OCD. It's also exactly the kind of problem that CBT is pretty good at dealing with if you actually want to stop.
posted by pharm at 7:15 AM on October 29, 2010