one costume needed, no effort expended, no shame endured
October 28, 2010 3:46 PM   Subscribe

I hate myself for doing this, but I have a Very Last-Minute Halloween costume requirement.

...last-minute because, although it's not Halloween yet, I just received a work-related email requesting that people a) bring candy for trick-or-treat in our hallway during work tomorrow, and b) wear Halloween costumes. Thankfully my mom just mailed me a bunch of candy, so I can bring that to fulfill the first requirement.

"no treats will be had unless you are in full costume. Or at least partial costume. And it better be good."

I'm new at this job, and I'd like to make a good impression and not get pegged as a party-pooper. Although, truth be told, I'm kind of a party pooper about dressing up for Halloween, and really would rather not. Also it's cold outside and I'm not up for leaving the house, so I'd like to try to throw something together from what I have here at home, in my closet, that won't make me look like a total freak riding the bus to work tomorrow. And it can't be unwieldy, because I also have to get actual work done during the day, and I need to be able to carry the muffins I just baked for our breakfast potluck in the morning on the bus with me too.

So, what can a short, curvy, white girl with short mousy brown hair and glasses be for Halloween without putting any effort to it, but would be an okay enough costume that I won't get called out by my co-workers? I have the usual accoutrements available: lots of clothes, shoes, make-up, some craft supplies, but all of my costume-y things were ditched in a recent move.
posted by booknerd to Work & Money (16 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I always offer this up as a costume, from a couple of years ago I was in the same situation. Dress normally, put some white paint or makeup on your nose, let dry and then a bit of red pain or red lipstick. Voila! You are now Lindsey Lohan.
posted by eatdonuts at 3:48 PM on October 28, 2010

Pin socks all over a sweatshirt. You're static cling.
posted by dywypi at 3:53 PM on October 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Best answer: short mousy brown hair and glasses

Rachel Maddow? Harry Potter? Elena Kagan?

Good for you for being a good sport about this-- demanding costumes with less than 24 hours' notice is pretty unfair.
posted by oinopaponton at 3:54 PM on October 28, 2010

So, what can a short, curvy, white girl with short mousy brown hair and glasses be for Halloween without putting any effort to it, but would be an okay enough costume that I won't get called out by my co-workers?

Velma from Scooby Doo?
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:56 PM on October 28, 2010 [7 favorites]

Yeah, I was thinking Velma myself. If you go that direction maybe you can borrow a stuffed dog?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:57 PM on October 28, 2010

Response by poster: I don't have an orange turtleneck, but I do have a grey pinstripe suit and can scrounge up some hair gel. Rachel Maddow it is! You guys are awesome. <3
posted by booknerd at 4:01 PM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Liz Lemon. You just need to act fairly snarky all day, and wear argyle or a button-down shirt.
posted by k8lin at 4:02 PM on October 28, 2010

Wear all red. Cut the Victorinox logo out of white contact paper and stick it to your chest. You are a swiss army knife. Make sure to have a bottle opener and can opener and tiny pair of scissors on your person.

For bonus points make a few giant swiss army knife type blades from silver foam core and hang them from your belt.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 4:03 PM on October 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

You know what? I often used to go without wearing a costume to the office, and when asked what I was, I said "a party pooper".
posted by peagood at 4:31 PM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

I saw a photo today and decided that I could do a last-minute costume, too. It's an 8-bit Low-Res costume.
posted by CathyG at 4:40 PM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

One of my neighbors had a great idea -- "White Lies." Just wear all white and write little notecards with little white lies like "no, that dress looks good on you!" and "that's okay, I didn't need to sit down!" and stick them all over you.

I'm going with a college friend's default fallback idea: put on a long skirt and a blouse that doesn't match, and pile on all your scarves and jewelry. Bingo: gypsy.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:52 PM on October 28, 2010

Per a caller to the Slice of SciFi podcast: Just make a sign that says "Nudist on strike" Otherwise dress normally.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:38 PM on October 28, 2010

All black, plus star shaped stickers: you're a starry night!

Or, all black plus pointed hat for the classic boring witch.

Or autumn colors plus a garland of fake autumn leaves (usually available at CVS and the like) to be autumn.
posted by rosa at 6:05 PM on October 28, 2010

Tomorrow, I'm going as Cloudy, With a Chance of Showers.

Grey clothes. One of those hairbands that are kind of stiff, don't know what you'd call it. Like #3 in this picture. Tape, sticky side out, wrapped around the top part. Tape, sticky side down, the bottom of the headband so it's not sticky against your hair. Five or six cotton balls stuck onto the headband thing at the top. The only other accessory is a small spray bottle of water. When people ask who/what you are... lightly mist them as you advise that you're Cloudy, With a...

I work in an office, and it's easy to put the bottle in my drawer and take the headband off if I have to talk to a client.

Also, I don't mist peoples' paperwork or computers. :) Usually just their arm.
posted by Savannah at 8:19 PM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh! One of my old boyfriends came up with something really clever once -- he dug out his old college graduation robe and got a goofy rainbow wig, and told people he was "The Supreme Court Jester."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:23 PM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: ...and only one other person dressed up! Man, I would have felt ridiculous if I'd worn an actual costume.
posted by booknerd at 3:38 PM on November 18, 2010

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