Help me get mad in Japanese?
October 24, 2010 8:40 AM Subscribe
Is it possible for a foreigner living in Japan to express his/her dissatisfaction with a work situation?
I'm writing this for a friend who has lived in Japan for several years, holds a job as the "English expert" in a trade show company, has worked in bars and restaurants, worked as an art assistant for some manga-ka, and has taught English on the side.
In almost every full-time or part-time job she's had, there inevitably comes a time where she feels like she's being too marginalized as a foreigner and she wants to be able to stand up for herself without shooting herself in the foot.
Case in point: She was recently hired by a vocal coach to assist in teaching English to her students. My friend has been asked to always arrive 30 min. early to the scheduled appointment time to go over lesson plans, but almost every time, the teacher talks to her about everything but the lesson plan. In addition, the teacher will also have her hang around for an hour or two after the lessons end for more chit-chat.
One day the trains were royally screwed up and she was running late to the 30 min. early time. Once she realized how late she'd be, she sent an email explaining why. She was 15 min. early to the scheduled lesson time, but the teacher still berated her for being late to the pre-lesson time, even after acknowledging that she got the email about the trains causing the delay.
In a situation like this, how can my friend defend herself while still maintaining a good relationship with this person, who is in the position to hire her to do graphic design/illustration work?
As stated before, she's been living in Japan for a number of years and is in a long-term relationship with a guy she wants to marry. Her goal is to become a manga-ka, and she's also bummed around the music scene for a while, too.
I'm writing this for a friend who has lived in Japan for several years, holds a job as the "English expert" in a trade show company, has worked in bars and restaurants, worked as an art assistant for some manga-ka, and has taught English on the side.
In almost every full-time or part-time job she's had, there inevitably comes a time where she feels like she's being too marginalized as a foreigner and she wants to be able to stand up for herself without shooting herself in the foot.
Case in point: She was recently hired by a vocal coach to assist in teaching English to her students. My friend has been asked to always arrive 30 min. early to the scheduled appointment time to go over lesson plans, but almost every time, the teacher talks to her about everything but the lesson plan. In addition, the teacher will also have her hang around for an hour or two after the lessons end for more chit-chat.
One day the trains were royally screwed up and she was running late to the 30 min. early time. Once she realized how late she'd be, she sent an email explaining why. She was 15 min. early to the scheduled lesson time, but the teacher still berated her for being late to the pre-lesson time, even after acknowledging that she got the email about the trains causing the delay.
In a situation like this, how can my friend defend herself while still maintaining a good relationship with this person, who is in the position to hire her to do graphic design/illustration work?
As stated before, she's been living in Japan for a number of years and is in a long-term relationship with a guy she wants to marry. Her goal is to become a manga-ka, and she's also bummed around the music scene for a while, too.
Here's the key to expressing dissatisfaction: Couch it in a white lie that saves face on both sides and give the employer a prepackaged solution that will help both parties to a solution.
Back in the early 90s, after a year of teaching English in Japan, I found myself working for a small real-estate company in Osaka. It was quickly apparent that I'd been hired solely to make the company appear "international." I was a 20-something English lit major with no business experience and the Japanese-speaking ability of a two-year-old. And I'd been hired with essentially no explanation of what I was supposed to do, except that I was going to be paid on commission.
A couple of months went by. I was trotted into client meetings and introduced as "our American associate" and then sent back to my empty desk to stare at a wall. Subtle suggestions to my boss that I might need some guidance were ignored, although I was taken out to ridiculously expensive hostess bars most nights, then forced to mangle Rolling Stones songs at the karaoke bar next door to the great amusement of my smashed colleagues.
After a few months I'd gone through my meager savings, so I walked into my boss's office to give my notice. He looked at me with a blank expression. "I'm giving my two-weeks notice," I explained again. "Like in America."
"This," he said coolly, "is not America." He shoved 20,000 yen into my hand and sent me back to my desk. Huh. Weird.
That night I told one of my Japanese friends about what happened.
"Two things," he explained. "First, you can't put your boss in a position like that. Wanting to quit your job makes him look bad. Second, he's a big yakuza player." Which possibly explained his Ferrari, and meant I didn't want to upset him too much.
I had to do two things to get out of my job with mimimal drama: Create a reason for having to leave, and find a replacement for my position. So a few days later I went back to my boss and explained with great feigned concern that I had to return to the States immediately because a relative was terribly sick. And, by the way, I knew another American who'd be perfect as my replacement. In return, my boss feigned equally great concern for my ailing relative and agreed to the replacement, who like me had been teaching English and was looking for a new gig (it was a guy I vaguely knew; he'd been living in Japan longer than me and I figured he could fend for himself).
I wound up staying Osaka for another year, oddly enough working at a bar that was frequented by my former real-estate colleagues. They never asked about my sick relative; I poured them generous whiskey-and-waters, and all of us were happy.
posted by bassomatic at 10:16 AM on October 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
Back in the early 90s, after a year of teaching English in Japan, I found myself working for a small real-estate company in Osaka. It was quickly apparent that I'd been hired solely to make the company appear "international." I was a 20-something English lit major with no business experience and the Japanese-speaking ability of a two-year-old. And I'd been hired with essentially no explanation of what I was supposed to do, except that I was going to be paid on commission.
A couple of months went by. I was trotted into client meetings and introduced as "our American associate" and then sent back to my empty desk to stare at a wall. Subtle suggestions to my boss that I might need some guidance were ignored, although I was taken out to ridiculously expensive hostess bars most nights, then forced to mangle Rolling Stones songs at the karaoke bar next door to the great amusement of my smashed colleagues.
After a few months I'd gone through my meager savings, so I walked into my boss's office to give my notice. He looked at me with a blank expression. "I'm giving my two-weeks notice," I explained again. "Like in America."
"This," he said coolly, "is not America." He shoved 20,000 yen into my hand and sent me back to my desk. Huh. Weird.
That night I told one of my Japanese friends about what happened.
"Two things," he explained. "First, you can't put your boss in a position like that. Wanting to quit your job makes him look bad. Second, he's a big yakuza player." Which possibly explained his Ferrari, and meant I didn't want to upset him too much.
I had to do two things to get out of my job with mimimal drama: Create a reason for having to leave, and find a replacement for my position. So a few days later I went back to my boss and explained with great feigned concern that I had to return to the States immediately because a relative was terribly sick. And, by the way, I knew another American who'd be perfect as my replacement. In return, my boss feigned equally great concern for my ailing relative and agreed to the replacement, who like me had been teaching English and was looking for a new gig (it was a guy I vaguely knew; he'd been living in Japan longer than me and I figured he could fend for himself).
I wound up staying Osaka for another year, oddly enough working at a bar that was frequented by my former real-estate colleagues. They never asked about my sick relative; I poured them generous whiskey-and-waters, and all of us were happy.
posted by bassomatic at 10:16 AM on October 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
It depends on whether or not your friend speaks Japanese or not. If she doesn't any sort of miscommunication can arise. If you're not speaking Japanese, but English instead, none of the mumbo jumbo about "saving face" and "tatemae" applies.
I have friends who manage busy, profitable schools in Japan with dozens of students. Wasting time cost them money, so my friends (the successful ones at least) solved the problem your friend is in by communicating clearly.
This is not really an issue related to Japanese culture. This is an issue about communicating clearly, managing expectations and personal fit.
Your friend has a client, and the expectations are pretty straightforward: show up and teach a lesson, and then leave. By showing up 30 minutes early, and by staying an hour afterwards, your friend is being used.
If your friend is afraid of losing the client by showing up for the lesson, and then leaving when the lesson is finished, your friend should investigate just how much she is getting paid for the entire time she is there.
If she's getting paid 3000 yen for the hour of class time, but she's actually staying around for 3 hours or so (you could even include train times in this), she's actually making 1000 yen an hour, hardly worth it, if you ask me (I usually charged 7000 yen an hour for lessons about 5 years ago, and I did this by choosing clients I thought could pay that much).
Your friend should plan to show up 15 minutes early, and should plan to discuss the lesson. If the client does not want to discuss the lesson, fine. After the lesson is finished, your friend should leave. The reason why? She has another client.
If the client gives her any bullshit, drop the client. While browbeating can be acceptable in Japan, usually it's when there are higher stakes: the browbeating allows the client to blow off steam without cancelling a substantial contract. In this case, the client is offering nothing.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:44 AM on October 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
I have friends who manage busy, profitable schools in Japan with dozens of students. Wasting time cost them money, so my friends (the successful ones at least) solved the problem your friend is in by communicating clearly.
This is not really an issue related to Japanese culture. This is an issue about communicating clearly, managing expectations and personal fit.
Your friend has a client, and the expectations are pretty straightforward: show up and teach a lesson, and then leave. By showing up 30 minutes early, and by staying an hour afterwards, your friend is being used.
If your friend is afraid of losing the client by showing up for the lesson, and then leaving when the lesson is finished, your friend should investigate just how much she is getting paid for the entire time she is there.
If she's getting paid 3000 yen for the hour of class time, but she's actually staying around for 3 hours or so (you could even include train times in this), she's actually making 1000 yen an hour, hardly worth it, if you ask me (I usually charged 7000 yen an hour for lessons about 5 years ago, and I did this by choosing clients I thought could pay that much).
Your friend should plan to show up 15 minutes early, and should plan to discuss the lesson. If the client does not want to discuss the lesson, fine. After the lesson is finished, your friend should leave. The reason why? She has another client.
If the client gives her any bullshit, drop the client. While browbeating can be acceptable in Japan, usually it's when there are higher stakes: the browbeating allows the client to blow off steam without cancelling a substantial contract. In this case, the client is offering nothing.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:44 AM on October 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
I was also going to say that your friend should just forget hoping this person will feed her graphic design work - as a Creative, this sounds like the client from hell.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:31 PM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by KokuRyu at 2:31 PM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Is it possible for a foreigner living in Japan to express his/her dissatisfaction with a work situation? [...] In almost every full-time or part-time job she's had, there inevitably comes a time where she feels like she's being too marginalized as a foreigner and she wants to be able to stand up for herself without shooting herself in the foot.
It sounds like your friend is pretty focused on being a "foreigner"... is she sure that that's really the problem? For example, nothing in the vocal coach story suggests nationality-based discrimination to me. Maybe the coach treats all her subcontractors that way.
But, if your friend doesn't speak Japanese well enough to do business in it without a hitch (no asking about vocab, no asking for sentences to be rephrased), that may indeed be a problem. Because this impedes communication, and makes meetings and negotiation a hassle, and this can indeed be a factor. Within a company, it's obviously a problem if someone unable to read all the intra-company memos and e-mails and so on. So, like Infernal says, your friend should maybe consider how many of her problems are due to being a foreigner and how many due to Japanese level. Your friend should specifically not believe the lie that non-native speakers can never get good enough at Japanese to understand all the "hidden meanings" and so on. (No offense intended if she is already 100% fluent, dashing off e-mails about sales forecasts and so on -- just seemed like a likely point to investigate given the question.)
In a situation like this, how can my friend defend herself while still maintaining a good relationship with this person, who is in the position to hire her to do graphic design/illustration work?
It's hard to answer a question like this, because who knows what the voice coach is like? If the coach is an unreasonable jerk, maybe there isn't a way your friend can defend herself while maintaining a good relationship. (Maybe the relationship isn't worth keeping, though, like KokuRyu says.) Or maybe the coach likes to push others around but respects those who push back, and a good confrontation will clear the air and redefine boundaries in a positive way. Or maybe the coach feels that she's doing your friend a favor with this work in the first place, and only apology and acceptance of responsibility (regardless of the facts) will mollify her -- that is, that "getting mad in Japanese" is specifically not the way to get what your friend wants out of the relationship. There are all kinds of people in Japan.
If this question boils down to "how can my friend learn more about how business and office politics work in Japan?" by the way, there are ways to do this. There are books aimed at new employees which describe in minute detail how to behave in a generic office setting and at meetings. (Maybe not so many for freelancers, but...) Even watching movies and TV shows with a business setting can help give you a feel for what sort of roles people expect to find in certain situations, and how those roles are played. (Obviously, life is not TV, but a determined student can learn from anything.)
posted by No-sword at 5:17 PM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
It sounds like your friend is pretty focused on being a "foreigner"... is she sure that that's really the problem? For example, nothing in the vocal coach story suggests nationality-based discrimination to me. Maybe the coach treats all her subcontractors that way.
But, if your friend doesn't speak Japanese well enough to do business in it without a hitch (no asking about vocab, no asking for sentences to be rephrased), that may indeed be a problem. Because this impedes communication, and makes meetings and negotiation a hassle, and this can indeed be a factor. Within a company, it's obviously a problem if someone unable to read all the intra-company memos and e-mails and so on. So, like Infernal says, your friend should maybe consider how many of her problems are due to being a foreigner and how many due to Japanese level. Your friend should specifically not believe the lie that non-native speakers can never get good enough at Japanese to understand all the "hidden meanings" and so on. (No offense intended if she is already 100% fluent, dashing off e-mails about sales forecasts and so on -- just seemed like a likely point to investigate given the question.)
In a situation like this, how can my friend defend herself while still maintaining a good relationship with this person, who is in the position to hire her to do graphic design/illustration work?
It's hard to answer a question like this, because who knows what the voice coach is like? If the coach is an unreasonable jerk, maybe there isn't a way your friend can defend herself while maintaining a good relationship. (Maybe the relationship isn't worth keeping, though, like KokuRyu says.) Or maybe the coach likes to push others around but respects those who push back, and a good confrontation will clear the air and redefine boundaries in a positive way. Or maybe the coach feels that she's doing your friend a favor with this work in the first place, and only apology and acceptance of responsibility (regardless of the facts) will mollify her -- that is, that "getting mad in Japanese" is specifically not the way to get what your friend wants out of the relationship. There are all kinds of people in Japan.
If this question boils down to "how can my friend learn more about how business and office politics work in Japan?" by the way, there are ways to do this. There are books aimed at new employees which describe in minute detail how to behave in a generic office setting and at meetings. (Maybe not so many for freelancers, but...) Even watching movies and TV shows with a business setting can help give you a feel for what sort of roles people expect to find in certain situations, and how those roles are played. (Obviously, life is not TV, but a determined student can learn from anything.)
posted by No-sword at 5:17 PM on October 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I forgot to add that she speaks Japanese well, and after looking at the thread, she said:
I just don't understand how you are supposed to argue here without fighting, if
that makes sense, or without giving up and walking away without stating your
points.
Though the people who said I was getting jerked around are probably right.
Keep the advice coming, please!
posted by TrishaLynn at 5:50 PM on October 24, 2010
I just don't understand how you are supposed to argue here without fighting, if
that makes sense, or without giving up and walking away without stating your
points.
Though the people who said I was getting jerked around are probably right.
Keep the advice coming, please!
posted by TrishaLynn at 5:50 PM on October 24, 2010
If your friend speaks Japanese, she ought to have a basic understanding of how things work. There's the entire concept of "plus alpha", where you go the extra mile for a client, usually when the client has special needs, and you have a good relationship with the client.
I do some consulting work for a Japanese NGO. It's my first year, and I negotiated my first contract with them this past April. It's for a nominal amount of money (about 1/12 of my total annual income), and most of the project activities were front-loaded in April and May, with some follow-up stuff in September and October.
However, when it came time to bill them in May (after knocking the project out of the park), I was told that I could bill for no more than 50% of the project; this rest would be payable on March 31st, 2011 (the end of the fiscal year), and this despite completing about 80% of project objectives.
I'm also expected to be on call during project down time (June to September), especially in the evenings and weekends (when it is business hours in Japan). I also have to write monthly reports, even if there has been no project activities (and therefore no billable hours).
I happily do all this stuff. Why? For one thing, I like the people on the team (it's a good fit). Plus, they went to bat for me when I complained about only being able to bill 50% for project activities, and then having to wait until March 31st for the rest. My project contact put his own social capital on the line, phoned up head office in Tokyo, and got them to increase my payment to 75%, when the remaining 25% waiting until March 31st.
Very unusual by Canadian consulting standards. A little "plus alpha". However, I know that the people I'm working with and working for are honest, decent people who are doing their best. I have always received credit for going above and beyond.
When we had a dispute, I approached the situation tactfully. "I wonder if it would be possible to get paid for the work I've done instead of waiting until March 31st. I have a bit of a cashflow situation - while working for you I was not able to work for anyone else, and I'm a little worried about a couple of bills."
I left them an out - I guess this is the entire "saving face" thing, although, quite honestly, I would not have been so polite if I did not like the people I was working with.
At the same time, I was also resigned to quitting the project if things had not worked out. It was just not worth my time.
Ultimately, the issue your friend faces has nothing to do with Japanese culture. She needs to want to work with decent people who value her, and value her time. These people will naturally listen to her needs, and will try to make it a win-win situation, no matter how she states her points.
Other people, you can use Japanese communication styles all you want, and they will still try to stick it to you. This is not unique to Japan.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:04 PM on October 24, 2010
I do some consulting work for a Japanese NGO. It's my first year, and I negotiated my first contract with them this past April. It's for a nominal amount of money (about 1/12 of my total annual income), and most of the project activities were front-loaded in April and May, with some follow-up stuff in September and October.
However, when it came time to bill them in May (after knocking the project out of the park), I was told that I could bill for no more than 50% of the project; this rest would be payable on March 31st, 2011 (the end of the fiscal year), and this despite completing about 80% of project objectives.
I'm also expected to be on call during project down time (June to September), especially in the evenings and weekends (when it is business hours in Japan). I also have to write monthly reports, even if there has been no project activities (and therefore no billable hours).
I happily do all this stuff. Why? For one thing, I like the people on the team (it's a good fit). Plus, they went to bat for me when I complained about only being able to bill 50% for project activities, and then having to wait until March 31st for the rest. My project contact put his own social capital on the line, phoned up head office in Tokyo, and got them to increase my payment to 75%, when the remaining 25% waiting until March 31st.
Very unusual by Canadian consulting standards. A little "plus alpha". However, I know that the people I'm working with and working for are honest, decent people who are doing their best. I have always received credit for going above and beyond.
When we had a dispute, I approached the situation tactfully. "I wonder if it would be possible to get paid for the work I've done instead of waiting until March 31st. I have a bit of a cashflow situation - while working for you I was not able to work for anyone else, and I'm a little worried about a couple of bills."
I left them an out - I guess this is the entire "saving face" thing, although, quite honestly, I would not have been so polite if I did not like the people I was working with.
At the same time, I was also resigned to quitting the project if things had not worked out. It was just not worth my time.
Ultimately, the issue your friend faces has nothing to do with Japanese culture. She needs to want to work with decent people who value her, and value her time. These people will naturally listen to her needs, and will try to make it a win-win situation, no matter how she states her points.
Other people, you can use Japanese communication styles all you want, and they will still try to stick it to you. This is not unique to Japan.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:04 PM on October 24, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you want to be respected and have actual leveraging ability you need to be valued as an employee for something other than your English ability. English speakers are a dime a dozen. When you don't speak English you suddenly become much less interesting and are able to get down to real work. Apply for regular Japanese jobs in the Japanese way.
In a situation like this, how can my friend defend herself while still maintaining a good relationship with this person, who is in the position to hire her to do graphic design/illustration work?
Unfortunately you have to work within the system until you become valuable. Once you become valuable you an express a large amount of freedom. When you are on the bottom you are really on the bottom in Japan in my experience. You can only state the facts if you want to defend yourself. Anecdotally, the people who are not yet "necessary" at my work always work the hardest, always come an hour early, and will never give an excuse for a mistake or being late. They will apologize and things move on.
In short: Keep your head down, suck up your pride, work as hard as you can on the things you actually want to do (Illustration) in your free time, and study Japanese even if you are fluent.
posted by Infernarl at 9:59 AM on October 24, 2010 [2 favorites]