Should I quit my job?
September 30, 2010 7:15 PM   Subscribe

I need advice, Metafilter. I’m being bumped out of my office of 5 years to make room for a new hire and being put into a trailer 10 minutes away instead. Should I quit?

I’ve worked at this educational institution for about 10 years. The last 5 have been in a small department that has been growing significantly over the last 2 years. We’ve about tripled in size since I’ve been there. I am in theory a senior member of the department. I administer complex systems and recently completed a major project for the college for which I’ve been receiving praise from several different departments. I’m supposedly being groomed for a more managerial role. I’ve mentored others in the department for years but now a more formal (but still fairly informal) reporting structure has been put into place where I’m supervising some people.

This morning I was told that my office is needed for someone who was hired in the last month. She’s also a team leader. She had been assigned an office that was converted from a closet, but the air flow in there wasn’t considered. It’s not a good situation in that space. She’s been using a temporarily empty office, but someone has been hired to fill that role and that office will now be filled. So, she gets my space and I get moved to a trailer on the ass end of campus. The kicker? I’m supposed to move tomorrow. I got less than 24 hours notice after being in that office for 5 years.

I’m angry about it. I feel offended. I want to quit. But I’m not good at making rational decisions when I’m so worked up. Ordinarily I’d give it some time and think it through before reacting, but I’ve been given no time. Tomorrow I’ve got to talk to my boss, to whom I have already indicated my concerns. He claims that I haven’t done anything wrong and that it is a matter of trust – he trusts me to work remotely and that I shouldn’t look at it as a reflection of my ability or value. I can’t help but do so. I feel like my legs have been cut out from under me. How am I supposed to have a collegial relationship with this person who has taken my office? How am I supposed to retain the respect of the rest of the staff who’ve witnessed me be used like this? I feel humiliated.

Am I crazy? Am I overreacting? What should I do tomorrow? I know I need to talk to my boss – I’ve only expressed my feelings through an email so far. Should I quit and go back to school full time? I’m already working on a master’s degree part time. I can’t really afford it, but I could probably make it work. I really wish I had more time.
posted by Jupiter Jones to Work & Money (46 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Find another job, then quit. No need to rush. Always remember, actions speak louder than words.
posted by ifandonlyif at 7:25 PM on September 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

You've got all the time in the world to make this decision. Even if you do decided to leave because of the office move, you don't have to do it tomorrow.

My personal opinion is, you work for money. Your job, your office, does not define you. As long as you need the check, you aren't being abused, and the checks clear, it's a good idea to stay at least until you have another job in hand. Especially so in this job market.
posted by Houstonian at 7:25 PM on September 30, 2010 [10 favorites]

been there done that. You might find, as I did, that you get more done when you're removed from the casual human traffic.
posted by yesster at 7:26 PM on September 30, 2010

You're overreacting. She's new so they can't stick her out in a trailer away from everyone. She needs to be able to be near other people to ask questions. It's not about you, it's about her, and it's not that big a deal. This is not the economy to be quitting in over an office location change.
posted by amro at 7:27 PM on September 30, 2010 [15 favorites]

You are not crazy, but you are overreacting. Quitting over an office move (no matter how ill-considered of a decision it was) is really ridiculous. It could also really hurt future job prospects. What will you say when people ask why you left your past job? Also, you don't want to be THAT GUY who quit because of his office, and that's how people would remember you, after ten years.
posted by bluedaisy at 7:28 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

relax, make the move, see what happens. If need be, look for a job before you quit. This is NOT the time to dump a job without another BETTER job lined up.
posted by HuronBob at 7:30 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't be hasty.

I think there's a very good chance that your supervisors don't want to have to do this but someone has to move and, just like your boss said, you're someone they trust to (A) have a decent attitude about it and (B) actually get your work done on the ass-end of campus.

This does suck though. I'd be furious. But you should trust that instinct telling you not to make any no-take-backs decisions while furious, no matter how justified the fury.
posted by Neofelis at 7:30 PM on September 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

Is there a way that you can reframe this for yourself? What your manager said about the new person needing more oversight does sound plausible, and maybe you can think of the new office as an improvement - quieter, maybe more space, less noses poking over your shoulder?
Whether or not this is something you can make yourself believe, it can be the way you put it to other people. If you sell the move as an upgrade, it becomes an upgrade in everyone's minds.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:31 PM on September 30, 2010 [3 favorites]

An office isn't an office, it's a product of hierarchy. If you get demoted unexpectedly, you need to watch out.
posted by ifandonlyif at 7:33 PM on September 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

Assigned workspace is a touchy thing, and I'd be offended in your place too. I suffered through some insane passive-aggressive shit at my old job revolving around offices.

I'd say to take the high road, but make it clear that this is an inconvenience and that it should be made up to you somehow. Any interest in telecommuting? Because now would be a GREAT time to negotiate that.
posted by desuetude at 7:34 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would feel offended as well but I would wait it out. Sometimes we get worked in the moment where we don't understand our full consequences. Take some time and see if this situation is making you feel miserable in your personal life. If your personal life is fully affected by the change. Then by all means, it may be time for that new job.
posted by InterestedInKnowing at 7:34 PM on September 30, 2010

I totally understand why you would be ticked off, feel humiliated, etc. Desk space is like HOME at work. And it doesn't sound like they did a good job of thinking this through or of talking about it to you. It really sounds like bad management.

BUT, it doesn't necessarily sound like bad management that is necessarily something that you should take personally. They seem to have given almost zero thought to desk arrangements, as demonstrated by the multiple moves she's endured. She's new and needs to be close by, plus she's probably already a bit justifiably ticked off (and possibly high maintenance?). They say, Bob's a laid-back guy, he'll move -- or something equally half-thought-through about. Also, the "I trust you" statement does sound reasonable.

So here's my face-saving suggestion for you, albeit a bit of a white lie: pretend to everyone that you've long requested a more private workspace, and act as if it was the fulfillment of an overdue promise on their end. You're there, right on top of the people you're supervising. This gives you more privacy, more space to think, and greater separation for things like HR-type discussions as you move up into a more senior role.
posted by salvia at 7:36 PM on September 30, 2010

I'm going to take a slightly different point of view. I do agree a bit with amro -- if she is giong to be trained and needs to interact with the team, she needs to that time and space there moer than you.

However, I think they should have asked you about it before making the decision or allowed you to be part of the decision process (would you be okay moving there if...?) --so that part is run and not quite fair.

As part of the conversation tomorrow, you could (calmly) just say "Well I feel that I'm not valued, or why didn't you alsk ask my perspective, I don't feel---" (not sure what you are feeling, but a sentence or two). Then ask for your boss to explain his point of view.

You could also think of other solutions and offer them to your boss. Would you be okay with sharing offices? Ask if that is a possibility (and I think it would be a better way to introduce someone to your job role).

Finally, if you are considering quitting, you have nothing to lose by responding to the "we trust you to work remotely" by asking, "really? Can I work from home 1 or 2 days a week?" --because they will be forced to show what they really feel/think, and you may be surprised.

Even if you are told to move across campus, I would wait and make the decision over the weekend.
posted by Wolfster at 7:37 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

My personal opinion is, you work for money.

First, not everyone shares your personal opinion. Second, even those people who work primarily for money might want to keep an eye on their career so that someday they can make more money.

I think this is a big deal. Not because your new office is less nice or because they shouldn't have moved you with so little notice, although those things are not so great. If you are expecting to get promoted into management, then being in the same workspace as the people you're working for can be very important. I'm unclear about whether the people you lead now are in the trailer or in the old workspace. If you're going to be alone in the trailer, that also doesn't bode well for them taking your leadership role seriously.

Wolfster has some good suggestions. You might also mention that you feel this does not augur well for a future move into management. I see no point in quitting, though. Start looking for another job first.
posted by grouse at 7:49 PM on September 30, 2010

a) I could easily frame this to future employers as having left my job to pursue my education, which would be true.
b) I do work from home one day a week already. I suggested that I could work entirely from home instead of this shitty trailer. No go, I have to be available for meetings with all the people who would be nowhere near me. And it would be a shitty thing to not be able to conference with my coworkers when I need to. This trailer on the ass end of campus would effectively be the same as working from home in that respect, except that I would be available for meetings in 10 minutes instead of the 30 it would take me to drive in from home.
c) They could as easily bump out one of the people in cubes that would report to her. Why shouldn’t she sit in a cube until her office can be improved?
d) People already know that this has been proposed, so there’s no face-saving lying to be done. In fact, people knew before I did. I found out that I was supposed to move TOMORROW from by boss’ secretary in passing, although my boss insists he mentioned it.
e) I would be alone in the trailer except for people in different departments that I don’t know and don’t work with.
posted by Jupiter Jones at 8:09 PM on September 30, 2010

Academics are notoriously poor managers, that's why I call them academia nuts. Give it a go and see how you feel in a month. A new job this close to the beginning of the semester is going to be rough. You can live with your trailer and start looking in January.
posted by leafwoman at 8:11 PM on September 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

You are really angry and wanting to make a big dramatic fuss about this. What do you want us to say here? Perhaps my quote was too flip, and for that I apologize, but, it makes sense for this woman and her new team to be together, and, really, I suspect this isn't about you, not really, even though it feels that way.

A good night's sleep might help.
posted by bluedaisy at 8:14 PM on September 30, 2010

How are your employment prospects if you went on the market?
posted by LarryC at 8:20 PM on September 30, 2010

I am surprised that no one in your department has stood up for you after five years.

This is a time when a contingent of allies storms the Chair and and presses the issue. If you can't make that happen, then perhaps they are actually moving you aside.

Move to the new office, and start looking for a better gig. Sorry, this does suck.
posted by archivist at 8:25 PM on September 30, 2010

Am I overreacting? Yes.
Should I quit? No.

You've already sort of answered your question:

I’m not good at making rational decisions when I’m so worked up. Ordinarily I’d give it some time and think it through before reacting ...

I’m already working on a master’s degree part time. I can’t really afford it ... I really wish I had more time.

Listen to your rational side. You don't have to quit tomorrow, even though that's when you're supposed to move. If you do ultimately decide to resign there's no reason you can't do that weeks later, or more, after you've had time to think through what you want to.

Your department has limited resources. Whatever happened, someone was going to end up feeling slighted. Yeah, I know, why did it have to be you? But the thing is it was going to suck regardless. I think you'll get quite a bit of credit for handling this well this in spite of the hardship, if in fact you manage to do that.

Talking your boss tomorrow, acknowledge how you that you feel hurt (that's normal and to be expected), but try to keep it as brief as possible, and stay calm. Focus on the logistics of moving, and how your going to manage communicating with your colleagues from your new location (do you need a lot of face to face interaction).

But, the main thing - you don't have to quit or make a decision tomorrow. Give yourself time to calm down, see how this actually affects you, and think things through.
posted by nangar at 8:25 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

b) I do work from home one day a week already. I suggested that I could work entirely from home instead of this shitty trailer. No go, I have to be available for meetings with all the people who would be nowhere near me. And it would be a shitty thing to not be able to conference with my coworkers when I need to. This trailer on the ass end of campus would effectively be the same as working from home in that respect, except that I would be available for meetings in 10 minutes instead of the 30 it would take me to drive in from home.
c) They could as easily bump out one of the people in cubes that would report to her. Why shouldn’t she sit in a cube until her office can be improved?

Your concerns about how this would affect your ability to do your job are your strongest argument. If you are needed to be physically present, you are needed to be physically present. If you're not, then a commute of 10 min versus 30 is inconsequential.

I don't think that it would be unreasonable to politely ask why you are being moved for this new person's convenience rather than putting her in a temporary space until they can work out an office space for her.

I don't think that accusations, threats, or sulking will help you, obviously, but if you can cooly discuss your concerns rather than voice complaints, you may be able to get somewhere.

Why do you think you were picked to be the one to move?
posted by desuetude at 8:33 PM on September 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

Your managers are insulting you. Don't be a pushover. Go to your boss and complain. Go to your boss's boss and complain. Ask them if they value your work, and ask them if they really think that you should be looking for another job.

(You should really be looking for another job).
posted by ovvl at 8:44 PM on September 30, 2010 [3 favorites]

Look, if you show up and act resentful and offended, coworkers and subordinates will know that this was a slight to you. Anyone not in the know will become in the know. Your supervisor will know that you take things personally and take big personal offense about things like this that s/he claims (believes?) aren't personal. If this truly was a slight, taking a petty attitude about it only confirms that they're superior to you and have the power to hurt your dignity.

If you show up and act positive and confident that this will work out well, anyone who does not know what happened will think you got what you want. Those who do know that it ticked you off will appreciate the way you played it off and quickly rebounded. The only potential downside is that if this truly was a reflection of their views toward you, acting confident and positive could seem a bit kooky ("it's like he doesn't know what this means??"), but even if this was truly intended as a personal insult, using it as an opportunity to confidently create your own situation could also seem surprisingly poised and graceful.

I'm not saying "be a pushover;" you can still tell your boss s/he owes you, or you can start lobbying hard for improvements to that space, or you can become the liason to that new group and use it as another opportunity to move up. I'm saying, don't make a scene; act poised and confident in public.
posted by salvia at 9:22 PM on September 30, 2010 [5 favorites]

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received from a colleague is "no ultimatums". You don't want to back anyone into a corner, but instead to give them a graceful way to back out of a bad decision. Desuetude is right, you need to build an argument for why this is not the best option (for the department as much as for you yourself). I would start with:

1. You will not be able to effectively supervise others from a distance, and they have made clear that moving into a managerial role is key to your career path
2. It is disruptive to your work flow to move, and even more so to move to a remote location
3. As a senior and valued member of the department, your needs should take precedence over those of a new hire

If you can think of more points to add before #3, so much the better. You don't want to leave out the pulling-rank bit, but be sure to leave it for the end so that your arguments are based primarily on rational planning. Include anything that points out how bad this will be for the department as a whole.

Good luck.
posted by cali at 9:29 PM on September 30, 2010 [9 favorites]

Have you considered giving in to the move, but not the timeline?
posted by bingo at 9:31 PM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would be just as pissed off as you are. I think you have every right to be pissed. You are not overreacting by being pissed, but quitting tomorrow would be overreacting. I think you should definitely complain, make it perfectly clear you are unhappy and say exactly why.

You can also start to plan to get another job and/or do your master's. Thinking about and planning for that will help you feel better. Also, reframing it for yourself like someone suggested upthread -- now no one (who matters) will know exactly when you come in or when you leave, for example.

Also: I think you should get something for this. I liked the extra days working from home idea. Since that idea seems out, how about some other compensation? I know extra money is never possible, but perhaps something else? Comp time or some version of it?
posted by rio at 9:32 PM on September 30, 2010

nangar's advice is good. Everybody else's advice is good too. This is not the economy to be quitting a solid academic job in which you've been for 10 years over an office change issue unless (a) you think the office change issue represents a definitive statement of the managers' opinion of your value and (b) you have more evidence of that than the office change.

I may be dense, but it's not clear to me whether the new hire is higher in rank than you are (is "also a team leader" a reference to her being equal in rank to you?), but if she is, then it's even more reason not to act rashly.

You also mentioned air flow issues, which seems to me to be a rational reason on their part to look for a better available office for her. If the space she was in was affecting her health, she has a right to a workable space and they have a legal obligation to provide it.
posted by blucevalo at 10:33 PM on September 30, 2010

First: the woman was stuck in a closet, and I'm fairly certain if she were writing this FPP a week ago, she'd have said something like "I was hired less than a month ago, and they gave me an office that was a converted closet, and the airflow is terrible, then they moved me into a temporary office that they're now kicking me out of for a new hire. Should I quit?" In short, so far she hasn't exactly been treated amazingly well, and you should have more sympathy for her.

Second: you say you're moving clear across campus, but how much will that impact your proximity to your coworkers? If you work fairly autonomously, and all of her coworkers are in the same location as your office, then it makes perfect sense to move her and you both as you describe.

Finally: it's a job, not your home. They have the right to move you around as they see fit, to make their organization run efficiently. It's obvious that space is at a premium, and they're doing the best they can. People who get bugs up their butt (if you'll pardon the expression) about being relocated within an office don't leave a good impression on their coworkers or their bosses.

Case in point: I work in a large office building, and since we've moved in they've relocated my team three times. Each and every time, the rest of the team bitches and moans and complains and gets annoyed. Me and my boss, we just find the best spaces of those available that we can, and we get us assigned there. Each move was triggered by something that had nothing to do with our team, and everything to do with space logistics for other teams that were changing significantly in size, and the recognition that seating those teams together as a whole was a beneficial idea. In every case, within a week after the move, everybody settled in and was fine -- all the bitching was for naught.

So what I'm saying to you is this: take a deep breath, assume this is about space logistics and not about you, and smile and be helpful through the entire move. It'll make you look like a great employee and person, at a time when they're expecting recalcitrance and conflict, and so you'll come out smelling like a rose. Then, if your new space sucks and after some time you just can't deal, look for a new job.

But honestly, it's just space. At least you're not being asked to do your job in a renovated closet with poor airflow (like her) or sitting at a folding card table that's 4' long, next to two other people, shoulder-to-shoulder (like I had to do for several months during an epic relocation to a new facility.) Work with them instead of fighting them, and in the next move you may find yourself in the best space you've ever had (if you use this as an opportunity to befriend those people involved with the space assignments.)
posted by davejay at 10:41 PM on September 30, 2010 [6 favorites]

Oh, and one more thing: yes, you are overreacting, and this person isn't humiliating you or taking over your office. I cannot emphasize this enough, that you're reading way too much into this.
posted by davejay at 10:42 PM on September 30, 2010

by "isn't...taking over your office", I mean that it isn't some kind of epic political maneuver going on, and this isn't a space war.
posted by davejay at 10:43 PM on September 30, 2010

and if you cannot have a congenial relationship with this person because of a space allocation decision that wasn't in her control any more than it was in yours, I don't mind saying that you are really epically overreacting, and sincerely hope you see the light come morning.
posted by davejay at 10:46 PM on September 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

davejay explained what I was trying to say much more clearly. You get a lot more points for being congenial than you do from taking it personally and turning it into some personal affront. If you have other reasons for thinking this is a secret demotion, then take this as confirmation, but otherwise, assume your boss is telling you the truth.
posted by salvia at 11:06 PM on September 30, 2010

Keep your job, find new better job while pulling checks. Find ways to enjoy new office in the meantime. Once you have new, better job, move on.
posted by occidental at 11:35 PM on September 30, 2010

Don't quit just yet, though you could possibly have to soon, anyway.

As you may have heard, the air in trailers is often bad, usually because of formaldehyde fumes given off by insulation and by particle board. Exposure to formaldehyde has been a trigger for asthma and other autoimmune syndromes in sensitive individuals, as well as serious eye irritation and sinus problems.

It will probably be at least a few weeks before you'll know whether anything like that is going to happen to you. If it does, you'll have to go to a doctor for treatment, then possibly bring OSHA in to test the trailer, and you might have to end up filing a disability claim against the university and its insurer, etc.-- and all that will take a significant amount of time.

Then you can quit.

Right now you need to concentrate on composing a memo which sets out in detail every significant thing said by your boss or you in today's meeting. Send this memo to your boss with a note saying something like 'thank you for taking the time today to explain to me the particulars of your decision to move my office from building X where I have worked for five years now to trailer Y. I especially appreciated hearing that this is not to be viewed as a demotion, and that you are completely satisfied with my work. Because this move could easily be interpreted as a demotion by an outsider unfamiliar with the actual circumstances, please consider this note a formal request that you write me a letter for my personnel file stipulating that this is not a demotion and that you are in fact satisfied with my performance. Please let me know if there is anything you recall that should be included in my summary, or if I've misremembered something which is included. Sincerely, Jupiter Jones.'

If he doesn't write you that letter, press him for it relentlessly. If he ultimately refuses to write it, go to his superior and complain or to the ombudsman.

Then go about your business and let events take their course.
posted by jamjam at 12:14 AM on October 1, 2010

You are right to be offended - your boss is being at least inconsiderate of you.

That being said, I would view quitting in a huff over this as a bad and unprofessional move.

You need to let your superiors know you are displeased in a calm but firm manner. Making a scene or being emotional about this will make it easier for them to claim you were overreacting afterwards.

In your position I would put up with the new arrangement for a while, while preparing the move to some other employer. If things do not improve shortly, you can quit then and make an even bigger statement, since everyone will understand it was not a spur of the moment decision.
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:38 AM on October 1, 2010

As a senior and valued member of the department, your needs should take precedence over those of a new hire
This. Lots of experience here. First of all, don't put yourself in the shoes of the woman who was stuck in the closet -- it's nice of you to be empathetic, but it will get you no where. It's not your worry to figure out where everyone sits. Next, you are not overreacting. An office of five years (especially on the heels of a big project!) is a home away from home, no question about it. Having some knowledge of academia and business and org structures, I would say it's a combination of thoughtlessness on the decision-makers part, prioritizing the potential of the new hire over the time-tested loyal employee AND them knowing you probably won't make a fuss. Make a fuss; don't quit; get your resume ready if the situation is not remedied within a specific time frame. And I thoroughly agree with the No ultimatums -- but you can get darned close.
posted by thinkpiece at 3:53 AM on October 1, 2010

Were I your position I would be as upset as you are, because I like to have control and I was not consulted about the move. Being asked to be the sacrificial lamb two weeks in advance of the move day would still suck, but I would tell myself a story about why this is okay and get info about the longterm plan, extract a promise that in X months I will be returned or moved elsewhere on campus that better meets my needs, etc.

So, if I were you and meeting with my boss I would separate the meeting into two issues: the decision and the process for making it. I would be forward-looking. Someone has to move, I'm happy to do it, but if dept is growing so quickly what is the longer term plan? I would extract a promise that office locations be reviewed for the dept in X months or get whatever quid pro quo you want. Then I'd say that I'm sure this decision had to made on a quick turnaround but that in future it would be useful to speak to me in advance about these kinds of changes to my working conditions.
posted by girlpublisher at 4:15 AM on October 1, 2010

Perhaps I overstated the nature of this closet. Yes, we had been using it as a closet for as long as I've been there, but before that it was originally an office. I guess in the 60s when the space was built they weren't as concerned with fresh air. It's not a tiny space. It's bigger than a cube, it has a door, it has a nice desk and nice carpet.
posted by Jupiter Jones at 4:59 AM on October 1, 2010

Lots of great advice above, I'd like to add: don't take it personally. It may seem like a personal affront to you, but it is most definitely not. It is important that your boss consider your feelings, however, they did not make the decision specifically to hurt your feelings. If you can keep that in mind, and think only in terms of how it might affect your day-to-day workflow, then you'll make a more persuasive argument. Otherwise, rest on it over the weekend and see how you feel next week. You might even like the new digs.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 9:05 AM on October 1, 2010

Methinks the benefit of being further away; in my mind; especially after being dicked around like that...

Ten minutes away? Presumably on campus? So ten minutes away on foot?
Could you pedal or scoot?
Move as suggested then get a bicycle or a Xootr . Leave 15 - 20 minutes before your meetings and explore the campus, get some fresh air and a fresh attitude both ways.
posted by No Shmoobles at 10:11 AM on October 1, 2010

If you got a new job, it won't be in that office. There's a good chance you won't get any office. Relax, take a deep breath, accept the move, and think about your alternatives after you've calmed down. Making good decisions while excited is difficult. Time is on your side.
posted by chairface at 12:15 PM on October 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

If the office is big enough, can you ask your boss if you can share it?
posted by IndigoRain at 9:18 PM on October 1, 2010

Is this a temporary measure until her office is ready? If so, do the gracious thing and make the move but get written confirmation that it is temporary and you'll be back in your office when hers is ready. If you're being 'groomed for management' this is a great opportunity to demonstrate flexibility without being a pushover. You could use this to your advantage.
posted by freya_lamb at 2:58 AM on October 2, 2010

In the last 4 years I have twice been passed over for promotion by people less able but better politically connected in my organisation.
It hurt terrifically, I cried myself to sleep, I felt demorialised and rejected and I was in exactly your position of being on the point of throwing in the towel and making sure everyone knew how unfair this decision was....BUT.... I swallowed the ego which is the basis of most resentment...
at work, I made sure that I didn't change any aspect of how hard I worked since I actually like my job and....
I also made sure I didn't passive-agressively take it out on the people who were chosen.

I did point out when the opportunity arose that my work ethic was not affected although I was of course disappointed. That's all I had to do. The people promoted over me were expecting me to act out and cause them serious problems as I was the most highly effective member of the team at each year's performace review and questions were asked within the organisation as to why I was not promoted which caused them some discomfort.

By not playing the blame card they agreed to a series of things which made my working life more pleasant, gave me more autonomy than anyone else at my level and agreed pay hikes year on year that mean the difference in salary between the promotion I wanted and my current position is neligible.

Right now in the current working enviornment of cuts and budgetary pressures I can hand on heart say I am in a far better position personally and financially than if I had ahieved those promotions.
at the cost of swallowing down the initial burst of injustice, ego, resentment... all in all take the longer view.

Yes I work to live but I do still see myself quite strongly defined by my work. Having said that hierarchy does not always equal respect, better benefits, better pay. Maybe there is a gender element here, maybe it was easier for me to take this route because I'm female, maybe it would "look worse" for a male to take this type of route, only you can tell but right now you don't have the distance emotionally to decide, so please give it time.
posted by Wilder at 3:38 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

Jupiter Jones, I'd be very interested to find out what happened at work on Friday. Let us all know if you are so inclined.
posted by bluedaisy at 1:01 PM on October 3, 2010

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