I don't want to embarrass my kid
September 17, 2010 8:33 AM Subscribe
Help me be the awesomest room mother ever.
In an unusual burst of enthusiasm-I volunteered last night to be the room mother for my son's 2nd grade class. I have zero experience in this sort of thing and am decidedly not a creative/crafty type person. I'd love to hear from teachers about what they wanted and needed from their room mothers and from other room parents about what worked and what didn't.
In an unusual burst of enthusiasm-I volunteered last night to be the room mother for my son's 2nd grade class. I have zero experience in this sort of thing and am decidedly not a creative/crafty type person. I'd love to hear from teachers about what they wanted and needed from their room mothers and from other room parents about what worked and what didn't.
Definitely find out what your teacher's expectations are--some prefer to control things like parties themselves and to delegate certain tasks to volunteers, some are happy to have the whole thing off their desk, and some are in between.
I always set up a signup sheet, pre-filled with what I wanted people to contribute so parents would know exactly what needed contributing--our parties were usually in the morning so we always had mini bagels and fruit along with sweets, and it eliminated the "ten kinds of cookies, one quart of apple juice" problem. We often combined holiday parties with a simple craft or a game, so perhaps it could be a good opportunity for your teacher to fit in a fun project or activity she otherwise wouldn't have time for, or a chance for you to find out which parents do have a creative bent and would be interested in facilitating that.
posted by padraigin at 8:58 AM on September 17, 2010
I always set up a signup sheet, pre-filled with what I wanted people to contribute so parents would know exactly what needed contributing--our parties were usually in the morning so we always had mini bagels and fruit along with sweets, and it eliminated the "ten kinds of cookies, one quart of apple juice" problem. We often combined holiday parties with a simple craft or a game, so perhaps it could be a good opportunity for your teacher to fit in a fun project or activity she otherwise wouldn't have time for, or a chance for you to find out which parents do have a creative bent and would be interested in facilitating that.
posted by padraigin at 8:58 AM on September 17, 2010
Make sure you find out the school's criteria for parties and the like, too. The state in which I live, Ohio, has just reformed some healthy classroom guidelines (or whatever) that say we cannot bring in home-baked or -made foods any more! Everything the kids get has to be individually wrapped with nutrition information printed on it. And a few years ago, our new principal totally eliminated class parties for 5th and 6th grades, changed the birthday celebrations to once a month only for K-3rd grades, and eliminated birthday parties for 4th, 5th, and 6th grades.
Now. That said. The best room mothers I've encountered delegated. They had sign-up sheets at the meet-the-teacher night for the parties. They delegated everything from games to drinks to parent helpers. You won't get every single line filled in, but the idea is to reduce some of the work you'll have to do yourself. Inevitably, the crafty person would sign up for the crafts, the person who loved to cook would sign up for treats, etc. Also, they always asked for $3-$5 dollars from each kid to cover supplies for the parties. This almost always went to crafts and games. The drinks and food were assumed to be covered by the volunteering parent.
Feel free to mefimail me for specific games and crafts. My kids are now 13 and 10 and I was room mom for both of them at least once in the early grades.
posted by cooker girl at 9:13 AM on September 17, 2010
Now. That said. The best room mothers I've encountered delegated. They had sign-up sheets at the meet-the-teacher night for the parties. They delegated everything from games to drinks to parent helpers. You won't get every single line filled in, but the idea is to reduce some of the work you'll have to do yourself. Inevitably, the crafty person would sign up for the crafts, the person who loved to cook would sign up for treats, etc. Also, they always asked for $3-$5 dollars from each kid to cover supplies for the parties. This almost always went to crafts and games. The drinks and food were assumed to be covered by the volunteering parent.
Feel free to mefimail me for specific games and crafts. My kids are now 13 and 10 and I was room mom for both of them at least once in the early grades.
posted by cooker girl at 9:13 AM on September 17, 2010
If your responsibilities include food at parties, find out if you are dealing with any allergies. Find out how the teacher wants to handle this (e.g., they alert the parents ahead of time, you provide an alternative treat, etc.)
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:16 AM on September 17, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:16 AM on September 17, 2010 [1 favorite]
Along with the great suggestions about the sign up at Open School Night, leave a line for parents to provide email addresses. It's much easier to communicate this way than to send notes through your child to their child at school.
Be understanding that some parents can give time and some can donate stuff - and some aren't able to do either. Discourage calling out of other parents for not "doing their share" if other parents start talking. Give parents the choice of what they want to do to help to avoid embarrassing situations. (A single mom working full time would probably much rather donate a package of party plates than have to take off work for a morning to help at a party).
Take pictures!!! One of the sweetest room mothers I ever had did this for me many years ago. At the end of the year, she gave me a little photo album of the photos, with little notes from my students. It's a treasured keepsake. In this day and age (with digital cameras and color printers) you could probably throw together a little four page booklet as a mini yearbook and have copies made at Kinko's or something to give to the students. Maybe add this as a job on your sign up list.
After the party, thank everyone equally for their help. A thank you email after the event: "Hey, thanks for helping to make a great party! The kids had a blast." will go a long way in getting help for the next event. If you took pictures, you could also send an email to all the parents with some pics attached.
If you do a class collection of funds for these parties, again keep in mind it's been tough for a lot of families lately. Also, be sure to keep your receipts and good records of where the money went.
As far as parties go, crafts and games are great. Nothing worse than a bunch of kids just sitting around eating "party food" and doing nothing. Sugar + boredom = trouble.
Oh! And for parents who are helping out in the classroom, get a pack of name labels for them to write their names on and wear. It's nicer to be called "Mrs. Smith" than "Bobby's mom."
Have fun!
posted by NoraCharles at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2010
Be understanding that some parents can give time and some can donate stuff - and some aren't able to do either. Discourage calling out of other parents for not "doing their share" if other parents start talking. Give parents the choice of what they want to do to help to avoid embarrassing situations. (A single mom working full time would probably much rather donate a package of party plates than have to take off work for a morning to help at a party).
Take pictures!!! One of the sweetest room mothers I ever had did this for me many years ago. At the end of the year, she gave me a little photo album of the photos, with little notes from my students. It's a treasured keepsake. In this day and age (with digital cameras and color printers) you could probably throw together a little four page booklet as a mini yearbook and have copies made at Kinko's or something to give to the students. Maybe add this as a job on your sign up list.
After the party, thank everyone equally for their help. A thank you email after the event: "Hey, thanks for helping to make a great party! The kids had a blast." will go a long way in getting help for the next event. If you took pictures, you could also send an email to all the parents with some pics attached.
If you do a class collection of funds for these parties, again keep in mind it's been tough for a lot of families lately. Also, be sure to keep your receipts and good records of where the money went.
As far as parties go, crafts and games are great. Nothing worse than a bunch of kids just sitting around eating "party food" and doing nothing. Sugar + boredom = trouble.
Oh! And for parents who are helping out in the classroom, get a pack of name labels for them to write their names on and wear. It's nicer to be called "Mrs. Smith" than "Bobby's mom."
Have fun!
posted by NoraCharles at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2010
Teacher and former room parent for all of my 3 kids here.
On behalf of both sides, thank you SO much for doing this! A good room parent is a terrific help.
Most definitely ask the teacher exactly what type of help they need and go from there.
Historically the room parent collects funds (and volunteers) for class projects and an end-of-year-present for the teacher. Many state laws don't allow any presents over $50 (group or individual), so if you feel the teacher is worth more, you have to be a little creative in how many presents they get (so instead of one class gift, you will have to divvy up the present givers).
Speaking as a teacher, the only unpleasant room parent experience I had was with the parent who just spent too much time in my room; asking questions, trying to "help." I knew her intentions were good, but it just wasn't cool.
It got worse when the administration discovered that she was also rather gossipy and would speak to other parents about how the kids in my class were doing, comparing them to each other, etc.
It was bad stuff. If you come across nosy parents who want inside classroom information, try to respect the confidentiality of all the kids.
Lastly, please respect the financial and time constraints of many families. Nowadays, a lot of people don't donate hand sanitizer, tissues or their time because they can't.
Try to be sensitive to sad kid feelings when you have parent volunteers; some parents are not involved, and those kids can feel very badly in those situations. Also, be careful about collecting donations (if you can, arrange dropoffs in the central entrance of the school, not the classroom), because the kids are aware of who brings in the most and that can create hard feelings.
One thing that I liked was having groups of parent volunteers come in and work in rooms other than their kids' rooms. That way, it was much less obvious which parents came in.
Also, if you can, try to get parents to write letters praising the teacher. Those letters go in personnel files and mean a lot of teachers and administrators.
Have fun.
posted by dzaz at 3:05 PM on September 17, 2010 [1 favorite]
On behalf of both sides, thank you SO much for doing this! A good room parent is a terrific help.
Most definitely ask the teacher exactly what type of help they need and go from there.
Historically the room parent collects funds (and volunteers) for class projects and an end-of-year-present for the teacher. Many state laws don't allow any presents over $50 (group or individual), so if you feel the teacher is worth more, you have to be a little creative in how many presents they get (so instead of one class gift, you will have to divvy up the present givers).
Speaking as a teacher, the only unpleasant room parent experience I had was with the parent who just spent too much time in my room; asking questions, trying to "help." I knew her intentions were good, but it just wasn't cool.
It got worse when the administration discovered that she was also rather gossipy and would speak to other parents about how the kids in my class were doing, comparing them to each other, etc.
It was bad stuff. If you come across nosy parents who want inside classroom information, try to respect the confidentiality of all the kids.
Lastly, please respect the financial and time constraints of many families. Nowadays, a lot of people don't donate hand sanitizer, tissues or their time because they can't.
Try to be sensitive to sad kid feelings when you have parent volunteers; some parents are not involved, and those kids can feel very badly in those situations. Also, be careful about collecting donations (if you can, arrange dropoffs in the central entrance of the school, not the classroom), because the kids are aware of who brings in the most and that can create hard feelings.
One thing that I liked was having groups of parent volunteers come in and work in rooms other than their kids' rooms. That way, it was much less obvious which parents came in.
Also, if you can, try to get parents to write letters praising the teacher. Those letters go in personnel files and mean a lot of teachers and administrators.
Have fun.
posted by dzaz at 3:05 PM on September 17, 2010 [1 favorite]
Second grade is a great time to do this. When my wife did this for our daughter, our kid was super excited to see her mom every time they did something with the class. This changes in the next few years. Don't pinch his cheek or anything and I'm sure your son will be proud to "show you off" to his classmates!
posted by I am the Walrus at 8:01 AM on September 20, 2010
posted by I am the Walrus at 8:01 AM on September 20, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
My mom has been a 4th grade teacher since before I existed, and she is always so appreciative when a room mother consults with her on everything first. Not nitty-gritty details, of course, but for things like class parties, "is it OK to start setting up in the classroom at 10?" "No, the kids have a spelling test at 9:45 and it will really distract everyone if you're there. Can you wait until 10:30?"
And on the subject of class parties: those days are usually really busy for the teachers because they have to cram in a day of school when the kids are all excited and crazy. They often don't have time to eat lunch. When considering snacks for the parties, yeah have cookies or cupcakes or whatever, but also SANDWICHES. Little finger sandwiches, or a party sub, or something--the teachers go nuts for the sandwiches. Seriously, anytime there was a party and there were sandwiches, the teachers would drop by other teacher's classes after school and brag. "Oh, I see you have rice crispy treats, that's nice...Katie's mom brought sandwiches!" Seriously, sandwiches are teacher crack.
posted by phunniemee at 8:52 AM on September 17, 2010 [4 favorites]