I'm a mugger, now give me candy.
September 9, 2010 6:14 AM   Subscribe

I need to dress up for Halloween, apparently.

Yeah, I know it's a long way off, but I like to take my time with things. My girl is insisting I dress as something for Halloween but I not only have absolutely no idea where to start, I'm also comprehensively lazy and would ideally like to assemble an outfit from things around the house.

It's a Rockabilly-esque Halloween party so we can expect lots of 50s greazer vampires/zombies. I initially suggested that I would like to go as a cowboy who is also a mummy, because I have cowboy boots and a hat and also bandages. But I don't know how long that will last, and what if I need to wee?

I also thought about going as Alan Wake but nobody would get it. Then I thought I could go as a human Cylon but then I'd just be the dickhead at the party who didn't dress up but has a smartass answer.

I'm 6' 3" or so, on the hefty side. I am white. I am 30. I have a goatee. I mean, I'll put in a bit of effort but I don't want to be running around for the next two months finding bits and pieces. I'd prefer to not put a lot of shit on my face if that can be helped. One Halloween I just drew a bunch of crappy tattoos on my arms with felt tip pen and said I was a carnival ride operator. That stuff does not come off.

Suggestions very, very welcome.
posted by turgid dahlia to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (15 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Small sack with eye holes hacked into it.
A forked stick with roughly carved points.

Tell them you're from Gympie.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 6:24 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think you might be on to something there...
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:27 AM on September 9, 2010

Cowboy mummy sounds cool and pretty easy. In regards to the weeing, just don't wrap up the thing you wee with. No, no, I don't mean hang it out for all the world to see... just wrap the bandages loosely around your head, upper torso and hands (do it like fingerless gloves so you can hold your drink,) and cover the rest of you with a western-style (or flannel) shirt and jeans. Most mummy costumes I've seen have had the bandages pretty tattered and falling off, rather than being wrapped up tight from head to toe.

Then add a little shadowing around the eyes,some black lipstick & maybe something to fuck up your teeth a bit so you look scary and dead. Black nail polish would be a nice touch as well.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:35 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm liking the sounds of that Empress, I have all the relevant material and could grunge up some jeans and a flannel shirt pretty easily, maybe rip some holes and have the bandages poking through. Hmmm. Thanks for the hints and tips!
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:42 AM on September 9, 2010

Cowboy mummy makes no sense.

What about just... going as either a cowboy or a mummy? In my opinion the old school simple "I'm a vampire" costumes are underrated.

Between the rockabilly crowd and your possession of a goatee, what about some kind of stylized representation of the devil? You could go all out with red body paint, or play it more subtle with an all-black outfit (ideally something appropriately rockabilly-ish), horns, pitchfork, and possibly the forked tail.

Your goatee also reminds me a little of the classic "bwahaha" moustache twisting bad guy from old silent melodramas. What are the chances you'd be willing to grow a twisty moustache for the occasion? Then just dress in a really classic outfit, something an old movie villain might have worn. Maybe there should be a hat? I forget.
posted by Sara C. at 7:01 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why not a cowboy zombie? (I like cowboy mummy, too, fwiw.) Jeans, boots, flannel shirt, hat, facepaint: ta-da!
posted by rtha at 7:10 AM on September 9, 2010

Just throw the cowboy hat, boots and a belt buckle on and go.
or do you normally dress like that? I guess it wouldn't be a costume if you do.

Or you know. Dark denim, 50 pounds of pomade in your hair, a bandana around your neck or hanging out of your pocket. And either a white t-shirt or a rockabilly dice/whatever type of button down shirt. Or a western style button down. and some tacky temporary tattoos of anchors/dice/ace of spades.

Or do you want to dress up as something not related to the theme?
posted by KogeLiz at 7:37 AM on September 9, 2010

Be a ghost rider in the sky!

Get your cowboy outfit, powder your face white, maybe wear a gray beard. Get a lasso.

Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred, their shirts all soaked with sweat
He's riding hard to catch that herd, but he ain't caught 'em yet
'Cause they've got to ride forever on that range up in the sky
On horses snorting fire
As they ride on hear their cry

You can't go wrong calling back to Johnny Cash at a Rockabilly party.
posted by pazazygeek at 7:51 AM on September 9, 2010 [6 favorites]

If you want people to know what you are, keep it simple. I have had a Broadway costumer and a professional Ren Faire tailor make me badass but slightly obscure costumes, and no one gets them. Ever.


I was a modern day vampire (this was like 15 years ago)- leather pants, blousy black shirt, engineer boots, pale-but-not-white face makeup with dark eye and lip makeup, high quality temporary teeth caps that were fangs, bruised bite mark on my neck, mussed hair, black nail polish, and the inside of my mouth dyed red like blood. People thought I was a biker.

I was a fallen angel (~ 10 years ago). I wore huge white chicken feather wings with a dress made from a Renaissance nightgown pattern. White with big sleeves and silvery bodice over the outside. I had a little tarnished tin halo. I had a big, makeup bruise on my head, and a cigarette behind my ear (I don't smoke). I walked around with an empty beer bottle all night, despite being very public about being the designated driver. "You look great! Great costume! What happened to your head?"
posted by Leta at 8:49 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I knew a guy who went as a falling man

He spiked up his hair and put pipe cleaners in his tie and jacket so they stood straight up.

You asked what he was supposed to be, he'd flail his arms around like kermit the frog and yell "I'm FALLING!!" at the top of his lungs. Cost him like five bucks and half an hour prep time.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:57 AM on September 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Johnny Cash zombie would be awesome.

And Halloween doesn't need to make sense. Have fun with it.
posted by stormpooper at 10:32 AM on September 9, 2010

How about a cowboy/southern Devil.

A bit of makeup/horns and the right cloths and you are ready to make some deals down at the crossroads.

Fiddle of gold to offer people optional.
posted by Widepath at 11:37 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

These are all great suggestions folks, certainly something to play with in my brain whereas before it was just blank. Ghost rider in the sky is seeming like a crowd favourite.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:10 PM on September 9, 2010

You could be Elvis, Bubba Ho-Tep style.
posted by lhall at 4:20 PM on September 9, 2010

So in the end I was thinking, well, if everyone else is (probably) going to be a zombie, who better to go as than zombie-smashing Frank West? Just found pretty much the identical black leather jacket at the op shop this afternoon, and green wool pants and a white shirt won't be hard to source. Camera might be a little more difficult but eBay should be able to help us there. Hurrah for me!
posted by turgid dahlia at 11:04 PM on September 10, 2010

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