Selling used panties
September 7, 2010 7:36 AM   Subscribe

I'm thinking of selling my used panties. Thoughts?

We are talking the sex fetish here, where a girl (me) wears or masturbates in panties which are then sent to a purchaser. I'm in the early stages of determining if this is a worthwhile endeavour. My goal is to make money safely. Has anyone here ever done this, what advice would you give? FWIW I live in Canada, Ontario specifically. I am already thinking of how to conceal my personal identity.
Throwaway email:
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (24 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
This is an informative article. I have also met the person who wrote it; she is alive and well.
posted by griphus at 7:53 AM on September 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

re: Anonymity

Have a lawyer create an LLC (or whatever the Canadian equivalent is), and have payments (credit card? PayPal?) made to that corporation. Give it an innocuous name like "Internet Technologies Unlimited" or something bland like that. Advise your lawyer that you want to be as anonymous as possible with regards to the paper trail.

I doubt you can be totally anonymous. I mean, you're probably going to have to show your face/body in your ads. I assume these potential customers would want to see what you look like before they make a payment, and I'm not sure (again: lawyer) what the legalities are of you using a body double and then sending your panties (with your DNA) to them.

Basically, if you're concerned with the legality of this or want to receive payments as anonymously as possible, I'd contact a lawyer.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:59 AM on September 7, 2010

Check the laws where you are -- it might actually be illegal. It could be illegal to ship the panties via the postal service, illegal to meet someone to give them the panties, etc. A friend of mine in NYC -- who, at the time she was doing this, was a professional escort on her way out of the business -- told me about the lengths she had to go to in order to do this quasi-legally (which is to say: to not get busted by the undercover cops who try to sting the people who do stuff like this, which seems like small potatoes to you and me, but is apparently a big deal for some reason). One of the things she had to do was meet the people she sold to in person, and take the panties off in front of them (usually in a Starbucks bathroom). They would then have to give her money they specifically told her was a "gift". No touching (that would make the transaction super illegal, instead of quasi-illegal), and she had to have someone go with her to these meetings as a "bodyguard". It was also important for some clients that they be buying really high end, expensive underwear -- so she had to lay out the money, and sometimes would not recoup her investment, since sometimes the guys didn't show up.

If selling your panties is more or less legal where you are, you won't have to take certain steps like that -- but if it's borderline at best, consider doing it cash only. If you have to do it at all. It seems that the potential for problems outweighs the small amount of money you'd be able to make.
posted by shamash at 8:13 AM on September 7, 2010

your panties (with your DNA)

Might DNA test kits be sold someday soon at the local pharmacy like pregnancy tests? Say someone rather less than loyal to you hears a rumor that you have this side enterprise going and, with a stray hair casually picked from the shoulder of your sweater, sets off to publicly prove it. Not to be paranoid here, but this is what I'd be worried about.
posted by applemeat at 8:17 AM on September 7, 2010

Didn't do exactly this, but my...friend can give you tips from a similar business.

Don't invest too much time in any one transaction (for every guy who does it there are a bunch of guys who are nervous, fucking around, just curious, etc.), have all your stuff written/photographed up before you start, anyone who wants to talk to you on the phone is probably whacking off. Check and answer all your inquiries at once, maybe twice a day, all at once. Don't sit there for hours stressing about your inbox. Ideally this would be when you can't really do much else anyway.

Form letters are okay, and have a basic form, but don't send the exact same thing to everyone. If they give you a detail or a hint about what they're into, give them a little something back, but don't take too long at it (think a minute or two), and don't get into a back-and-forth with them, ask them to commit or not relatively quickly, and if they don't, tell them to get back to you when they're ready to [X]. Know what [X] is. Don't be rude, sometimes people work up some courage or get more time/money and come back after a while.

Don't get attached to any one potential client, either personally or as a source of money. Don't spend money until it's in your hand.

Try a few different ads with different approaches/attitudes/ad copy.

Be efficient, keep your hourly rate up, and don't spend too much money until you make money--you don't want to lose too much money/time on this. That's the biggest thing.

I can't tell you anything about the cash/anonymity thing except to say that in a lot of jurisdictions it might not be illegal for you to get cash this way, and doesn't paypal just show your email address to the client anyway? So my question would then be who you're trying to be anonymous from. The police? The taxman? The news? A future employer? Think about it and adjust your level of paranoia accordingly.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:18 AM on September 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

[few comments removed - lalala you know the drill, be helpful or avail yourself of the many other fine options for dealing with your emotions, thanks!]
posted by jessamyn at 8:20 AM on September 7, 2010 [5 favorites]

If you're worried about someone checking your DNA or collecting pubic hairs...this is not the business for you. You will be so paranoid that you will spend hours freaking out about it and, once again, you don't want to invest too much time in it because it drives down your hourly rate and makes it not worthwhile.

Ideally, be okay with everyone in the world knowing about it. Decently, come up with a plausible cover story for anyone important, including where you're getting money if you're generally broke and can suddenly afford to buy some fancy coffee or something.

Oh, and if you need to talk to them by phone (not unless you absolutely need to to schedule/verify something and never for more than a minute or two), get THEIR number, *67 them or whatever the equivalent is, and call THEM. Don't give out your number. They probably won't be psychotic stalkers, but they might very well be annoying and bother you at random times. Again, you want to minimize the time and energy you spend on this.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:23 AM on September 7, 2010

My goal is to make money safely. Has anyone here ever done this, what advice would you give?

From reading interviews with Johanna Angel of, you need to have your legal obligations met out the wazoo. If you get a parking ticket, pay it that day. If your taxes are due on the 15th of April, turn them in on January 1st. Have records of everything. Follow the law to the letter. THE LETTER.

Finally, I would not bet on staying anonymous forever. Have hard and long about that and have a plan for when that occurs.
posted by nomadicink at 8:27 AM on September 7, 2010

A friend of mine sells various things on eBay. Her lines are summer dresses, used CDs and, through a different account, used socks.

Mileage may vary here due to the different natures of the garments but I imagine the underlying driver of demand is the same.

The socks only sell with pictures of them being worn cos, you know, nobody wants your dirty socks for their foot covering properties. The photos are basically naked leg from halfway down the thigh to the ground, as though naked but for the socks. She has received many requests for photographs from different angles and so on. She doesn't reply to these, but the most common requests have become part of the repertoire and each new auction gets photos of that type, assuming they are decent and within the rules of the hosting site. Surprisingly, most of them seem to be.

The only form of communication she will entertain other than normal and non-pervy requests for extra information about the product is to send a photo of the socks being worn by their previous owner to the successful bidder along with the socks. I don't recall if she mentions this explicitly in the auction or not, but I do know it's a big driver of repeat business.
posted by vbfg at 8:37 AM on September 7, 2010

Unless you could tolerate your friends and family finding out what you are doing then stay away. Regardless of how anonymously you think you can operate.
posted by fire&wings at 8:48 AM on September 7, 2010

your panties (with your DNA)

One word. Microwave.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:11 AM on September 7, 2010

[Seriously, helpful constructive answers or stay the hell out of the thread. You know where Metatalk is if you need it.]
posted by cortex at 9:25 AM on September 7, 2010

A friend of a coworker did this years ago, and the one part of the story that I still remember was that instead of wearing the panties she made up a fake... substance... from ricotta cheese and other ingredients. I believe she also would send a letter with the panties. Can't remember if the letter was customized to the buyer or not.
posted by MsMolly at 9:43 AM on September 7, 2010

I assume these potential customers would want to see what you look like before they make a payment

Potential customers would want to see what someone looks like, so if you want to conceal your identity, why not buy some stock photos of a woman wearing panties?

From a marketing perspective, however, customers are going to prefer something that is as personal as possible. A blog (optimized with keywords that will drive people to your site) with photos of you modeling the underwear would be helpful, I would think. A low-tech, amateur-ish (but not to say low-quality) site would be best, so you may want to take photos of you yourself. You can probably figure out a way to make sure your face is blocked or obscured. Wear a wig. Hang white sheets from the walls to obscure where you live (and this will also help with lighting for photos).
posted by KokuRyu at 10:11 AM on September 7, 2010

re: Anonymity

Have a lawyer create an LLC (or whatever the Canadian equivalent is),

In the U.S. most states have an online database where you can immediately look up the documents filed for the creation of the LLC and its annual paperwork. So if you try something like this you may have to specify to the lawyer that you're doing it for anonymity and you want to avoid your name showing up anywhere in connection to the company.
posted by XMLicious at 10:14 AM on September 7, 2010

Might DNA test kits be sold someday soon at the local pharmacy like pregnancy tests?

No, applemeat. DNA tests are much, much more complicated and involved than CSI leads you to believe. Additionally, there's no database of innocent (unconvicted) people's DNA.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:44 AM on September 7, 2010

Don't list them on eBay. They have a policy against it.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:49 AM on September 7, 2010

If I were a stock photo model I wouldn't be wild about someone using my image for this type of endeavor without my consent. Don't do this.
posted by winna at 10:51 AM on September 7, 2010

While I don't first hand experience with this (really!), I did ask an eBay seller about their business. eBay no longer allows this type of transaction.
The seller had a disease that required expensive medication and she could not find work that made enough to buy the meds.
The garments, at the time, per eBay rules had to be freshly laundered and placed in a sealed plastic bag (Zip-lock).
She usually included a 'juicy' hand written letter and this got her a number of repeat customers.
She said that she had few weirdos, mostly photograph requests. She said that she NEVER included pictures.

I just traded a couple emails with her. Interesting as it was, I was not about to become an entrepreneur. :)
posted by Drasher at 11:49 AM on September 7, 2010

there used to be a website just for this, but i guess they took it down. I googled and see they still have one in the uk. You might try sex forums where you can discuss private transactions in PMs.
posted by patheral at 12:14 PM on September 7, 2010

I once shared office space with someone who had taken over a business selling factory rejects of Victoria's Secret underwear - the cotton kind, not the frilly kind. They registered the domain "[name of person] panties" without really thinking much about it. They got more requests for used underwear than they did the ones they were selling so they were working out the logistics.

They did offer me and the other woman who shared space with them a percentage if we were willing to wear the underwear they were selling. "Oh, just change it a couple of times a day, no big deal". Both of us declined. They had purchased stock photographs of women to use as 'the women'. That was done on the assumption that photographs of women in escort ads weren't those women either.

I don't remember the rest of the logistics because I moved to a different office not long after that. But I was fascinated by it.
posted by micawber at 1:08 PM on September 7, 2010

I had a support client who was doing this back in the early days of the web. My understanding is the regulatory requirements of this business in Canada aren't much different than any other second hand business; certainly nothing like what shamash outlined. She used a courier (IE: Purolator/DHL) mostly because the underwear was expensive and tracking was better. She had a lot of repeat business offering what would now be known as a girlfriend experience. She was also very forthcoming about her business though all her business was done via an office in a business park; she didn't use her home address, phone number or even internet connection for anything related to the business.

winna writes "If I were a stock photo model I wouldn't be wild about someone using my image for this type of endeavor without my consent. "

If you were a stock photography model you would have already consented to this use by signing the model release when the photos were taken.
posted by Mitheral at 1:57 PM on September 7, 2010

If you were a stock photography model you would have already consented to this use by signing the model release when the photos were taken.

No. Don't assume this. A model may have signed a model release excluding use of the photo for "sensitive issue" subjects (tobacco, abortion, sexual issues, etc..) and these exclusions are in fact fairly common. If OP is going to use a stock photo she should be sure the fine print specifies no such limitations. IANYA
posted by applemeat at 5:31 PM on September 7, 2010

- First of all, as with just about any type of sex work, you have to decide what your personal limits are, and accept beforehand that there are guys (I'm assuming that it will be completely or almost entirely guys who will be your customers) who will try to push those limits, usually by offering more money and/or threatening to stop buying the underwear and/or badmouth you to other potential customers.

- If you don't want to include photographs of yourself, then you don't need to. If you feel comfortable doing it, and don't have any tattoos or distinguishing marks between your navel and knees, you could include a photo of you wearing the panties that you're sending that wouldn't identify you personally. (Please note, however, that many color printers include an invisible "watermark" that identifies the individual printer that was used to print the photo, supposedly to help catch counterfeiters.)

- As far as "producing" them, I can't find this now, but I've read a description from a male purveyor of used underwear who had a set routine for doing them; it involved his putting them on when he was due for a shower, then working out to increase the, uh, funk factor. (I think that he double-Baggied them before mailing.)

- Check your local laws, of course; there's really nothing that legislators won't try to ban on the most specious of grounds. (A legislator in one American state tried to ban having your tongue surgically split--something that's practiced by a very small number of body-mod enthusiasts--because he saw it on the internet and it grossed him out.)
posted by Deja Stu at 9:40 AM on September 8, 2010

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