What wedding gift for the couple that has everything?
August 20, 2010 7:09 AM Subscribe
What wedding gift do I get for a very rich couple?
Two friends of ours are about to get married; they aren't registered anywhere and also they are really wealthy. What kind of gift should we get for this couple?
Two friends of ours are about to get married; they aren't registered anywhere and also they are really wealthy. What kind of gift should we get for this couple?
A donation in their name to Heifer International or another charity of your choice.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 7:12 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 7:12 AM on August 20, 2010
Something sentimental? Like a nice picture frame with a picture of a nice time you've had in the frame?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:13 AM on August 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:13 AM on August 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
Charity is good, but something unique is always a decent gift for people who seem to have everything. If you know a local artist that works in a medium they like, something original would probably be welcome. That's provided you know their tastes.
posted by xingcat at 7:18 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by xingcat at 7:18 AM on August 20, 2010
Best answer: Maybe artisanal glassware such as Simon Pearce. If they drink wine, get them a nice bottle and a pair of glasses. It doesn't matter how much stuff you already have, you can always use more glasses. You entertain; glasses get broken. (I'm guessing by your tag that they have a lot of stuff.)
posted by BibiRose at 7:24 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by BibiRose at 7:24 AM on August 20, 2010
No gift at all. Your presence at the wedding and/or reception is "present" enough.
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:29 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:29 AM on August 20, 2010
Something that takes a lot of time and effort to put together but isn't itself expensive.
My vote is a bespoke photo album, and there are lots of ways to do this, e.g.
- Talk to their parents and friends and get create a photobook of their lives from various ages, but side by side on the page using photos given to you/scanned in from their nearest and dearest. Towards the end of the book their lives should, naturally, come together.
- See if you can get the wedding guests to submit a drawing that encapsulates what they feel about the bride/groom/couple or the big day. Put these in an album.
This last idea is a little more expensive: it's a silver platter, the size of a plate, on the back of which are the engraved signatures of a lot of their friends. My folks have one, given to them on their wedding day. It's something that you couldn't do yourself unless you were a rampant narcissist.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:29 AM on August 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
My vote is a bespoke photo album, and there are lots of ways to do this, e.g.
- Talk to their parents and friends and get create a photobook of their lives from various ages, but side by side on the page using photos given to you/scanned in from their nearest and dearest. Towards the end of the book their lives should, naturally, come together.
- See if you can get the wedding guests to submit a drawing that encapsulates what they feel about the bride/groom/couple or the big day. Put these in an album.
This last idea is a little more expensive: it's a silver platter, the size of a plate, on the back of which are the engraved signatures of a lot of their friends. My folks have one, given to them on their wedding day. It's something that you couldn't do yourself unless you were a rampant narcissist.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:29 AM on August 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Oooh, I should have mentioned that the wedding is two days from now too. Nothing like the last minute to make things exciting!
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 7:32 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 7:32 AM on August 20, 2010
What is your budget?
The short answer is: something unique instead of something off-the-shelf.
Beyond that, the cost of it can vary from cheap (something you make yourself) to expensive.
Some ideas:
--Pottery/ceramics from a well-known potter.
--First editions from an author they love
posted by vacapinta at 7:36 AM on August 20, 2010
The short answer is: something unique instead of something off-the-shelf.
Beyond that, the cost of it can vary from cheap (something you make yourself) to expensive.
Some ideas:
--Pottery/ceramics from a well-known potter.
--First editions from an author they love
posted by vacapinta at 7:36 AM on August 20, 2010
In which case, an antique. Needn't be expensive. Find something that chimes in with their taste and/or interests. People don't tend to buy antiques because they're scared, but I was given two lovely antique presents at my wedding by different guests and they're fantastic.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:37 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by MuffinMan at 7:37 AM on August 20, 2010
A decent bottle of wine (doesn't have to be super expensive) presented in a decent box, with a nice card and instructions to share on their first wedding anniversary.
posted by inigo2 at 7:42 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by inigo2 at 7:42 AM on August 20, 2010
If the couple is wealthy/already has everything they need, and they're not registered anywhere, maybe they don't really expect gifts?
If anything, I would donate to charity in their name.
posted by Sara C. at 7:48 AM on August 20, 2010
If anything, I would donate to charity in their name.
posted by Sara C. at 7:48 AM on August 20, 2010
with instructions to share on their first wedding anniversary.
I think that is a bit presumptuous. I'd also steer clear of wine since they are likely to be able to buy a much nicer bottle than you could. In fact, I'd apply that as a general rule: don't get anything that they can buy a better quality version of.
Get something small and personal that relates to some experience you've shared. It sounds cheesy but if it is something you can make yourself, even better. In fact, the favourite things I received for my wedding were just beautiful cards with long, personal notes inside.
posted by ninebelow at 7:56 AM on August 20, 2010
I think that is a bit presumptuous. I'd also steer clear of wine since they are likely to be able to buy a much nicer bottle than you could. In fact, I'd apply that as a general rule: don't get anything that they can buy a better quality version of.
Get something small and personal that relates to some experience you've shared. It sounds cheesy but if it is something you can make yourself, even better. In fact, the favourite things I received for my wedding were just beautiful cards with long, personal notes inside.
posted by ninebelow at 7:56 AM on August 20, 2010
Oooh, I should have mentioned that the wedding is two days from now too. Nothing like the last minute to make things exciting!
Perfectly acceptable to send a gift post-wedding. I always vote something that shows you appreciate their interests. Do they cook? Maybe some really unique cookbook. Travel? some amazing guidebooks or photobooks. People who give gifts that say I know you and I appreciate you are much better gift givers.
I think the charity idea is kind of lame. If they've got cash they'll donate to their charities on their own. To me spending 40 bucks on something that means something is a much much much better gift then 100 bucks given to a charity. I mean functionally giving to charity is the same thing as giving cash.
posted by JPD at 8:29 AM on August 20, 2010
Perfectly acceptable to send a gift post-wedding. I always vote something that shows you appreciate their interests. Do they cook? Maybe some really unique cookbook. Travel? some amazing guidebooks or photobooks. People who give gifts that say I know you and I appreciate you are much better gift givers.
I think the charity idea is kind of lame. If they've got cash they'll donate to their charities on their own. To me spending 40 bucks on something that means something is a much much much better gift then 100 bucks given to a charity. I mean functionally giving to charity is the same thing as giving cash.
posted by JPD at 8:29 AM on August 20, 2010
My mom's go-to was always a picnic basket full of a bunch of stuff that would be good for a picnic. Never too expensive, but still seems super charming to me.
posted by davidjmcgee at 8:32 AM on August 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by davidjmcgee at 8:32 AM on August 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
Maybe some nice towels, embroidered with their monograms? They probably already have nice towels, but they'll need to be replaced sooner or later, and they're unlikely to have personalised their own.
posted by Emilyisnow at 9:44 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by Emilyisnow at 9:44 AM on August 20, 2010
One of the nicest wedding presents we got was a vintage Baedeker guide to the area of Italy we went to on our honeymoon. It was fascinating to see how much had changed in the years since it had been written. Do you know where they're going?
posted by dogsbody at 10:08 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by dogsbody at 10:08 AM on August 20, 2010
Nothing. They don't need help setting up house as a new couple, and that's the purpose of wedding gifts.
posted by jingzuo at 10:23 AM on August 20, 2010
posted by jingzuo at 10:23 AM on August 20, 2010
I wouldn't donate to a charity unless they've specifically requested it. I know my wealthy aunt was offended when people donated to charities in her name for her wedding--her take was that it was presumptuous to assume you know what charity is closest to their heart, or that they aren't donating large amounts of charity themselves. (She donates a TON to charity every year, and really likes thoughtful gifts.)
I'd say get them something cool and design-y. Even if they're rich, they might still miss out on some cool limited edition items.
posted by timoni at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2010
I'd say get them something cool and design-y. Even if they're rich, they might still miss out on some cool limited edition items.
posted by timoni at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2010
This is a long shot, but do you know anyone even remotely famous or well-connected? If so, perhaps you could arrange for "a gift that money can't buy" that would be interesting and fun. For instance, a chef might offer a chance to help out in the kitchen of his restaurant, a stadium employee might be able to arrange for a backstage peek before a concert ... maybe you could get them down to the dugout before a baseball game or a helicopter ride with the radio traffic guy or ....
Another idea is something unique: We've frequently given old maps (found at a local antique shop) that show something meaningful to the couple (like where they live or where they met). Even those big old census maps look pretty cool all framed.
posted by wisekaren at 1:01 PM on August 20, 2010
Another idea is something unique: We've frequently given old maps (found at a local antique shop) that show something meaningful to the couple (like where they live or where they met). Even those big old census maps look pretty cool all framed.
posted by wisekaren at 1:01 PM on August 20, 2010
Do you have a feeling for whether they didn't register anywhere because don't want anything? Are they an older couple, by any chance? If they don't want anything, you're probably not doing them a favor by getting them anything.
FWIW, I'm getting married in a month and we've specifically requested no gifts. I'm not very wealthy, but I'm doing fine. Beyond that, I'm in my mid-30s and I don't need anything to set up a home. We've long since bought everything I want for the kitchen, linens, art, etc. We both have relatives on both sides for whom scraping together $100 bucks for a gift is a significant sacrifice. It would make me sad to think that they were spending money they could really use so that we could have a nice bottle of wine (or even for charity, although I wouldn't be offended by it).
In summary, another vote for nothing.
posted by Clambone at 1:34 PM on August 20, 2010
FWIW, I'm getting married in a month and we've specifically requested no gifts. I'm not very wealthy, but I'm doing fine. Beyond that, I'm in my mid-30s and I don't need anything to set up a home. We've long since bought everything I want for the kitchen, linens, art, etc. We both have relatives on both sides for whom scraping together $100 bucks for a gift is a significant sacrifice. It would make me sad to think that they were spending money they could really use so that we could have a nice bottle of wine (or even for charity, although I wouldn't be offended by it).
In summary, another vote for nothing.
posted by Clambone at 1:34 PM on August 20, 2010
When I got married I wasn't wealthy, but I didn't want people coming to feel like they should buy us anything, so we didn't register anywhere. Maybe they also don't want people to feel like they should buy gifts.
(I did include a note to that effect in the invitations, though.)
posted by galadriel at 1:45 PM on August 20, 2010
(I did include a note to that effect in the invitations, though.)
posted by galadriel at 1:45 PM on August 20, 2010
Although we're not rich, one of the most meaningful anniversary gifts we got was a framed, historic photo of our wedding venue (a locally famous place) on its opening day. If there is a history museum in town, you could call and see if they sell any such thing at their gift shop. I think city libraries or governmental archives have these too, but you'd have to have the time to copy it yourself.
posted by Knowyournuts at 2:23 PM on August 20, 2010
posted by Knowyournuts at 2:23 PM on August 20, 2010
Regarding charity contributions as gifts - if couples are into this idea usually they will choose a charity and name it on the invites as an alternative to the registry.
Otherwise, try to find some kind of fun activity or outing that may not be too expensive, but would take some work to put together and get them a gift certificate for it. If you're a working couple time is your most valuable resource.
posted by benzenedream at 2:38 PM on August 20, 2010
Otherwise, try to find some kind of fun activity or outing that may not be too expensive, but would take some work to put together and get them a gift certificate for it. If you're a working couple time is your most valuable resource.
posted by benzenedream at 2:38 PM on August 20, 2010
How about a nice artsy-craftsy-local-sustainable kind of thing? Like something you'd find on Etsy, from cool hand-bound notebooks to handmade soaps.
I always like to choose "consumables" as a gift over "useless but decorative widget." Given a super-short timeline I'd probably go to this little candy place in town and buy an assortment of locally-produced truffles, or to the food co-op and buy a bar or two of locally made soap.
posted by ErikaB at 3:13 PM on August 20, 2010
I always like to choose "consumables" as a gift over "useless but decorative widget." Given a super-short timeline I'd probably go to this little candy place in town and buy an assortment of locally-produced truffles, or to the food co-op and buy a bar or two of locally made soap.
posted by ErikaB at 3:13 PM on August 20, 2010
Artsy gifts seem like a good idea. One of the unique gifts we got off-registry from a guest was wind chimes that play Canon in D. It's wedding-themed without being cheesy, and it's a safe off-registry bet because it doesn't really rely on knowledge about what we already have or what our sense of style is. (I suppose if we hated Canon in D, that could have been a problem, but it was what we used for the bridesmaids procession, so it was a great gift!)
posted by Terriniski at 4:18 PM on August 20, 2010
posted by Terriniski at 4:18 PM on August 20, 2010
Google to see if you can find a local photographer who uses an historic photographic process like Daguerrotype, Wet Plate Colodium or Tin Type, and pay for a portrait session. That would be a very unique one-of-a-kind gift. Another search term is "alternative process."
posted by conrad53 at 5:11 PM on August 20, 2010
posted by conrad53 at 5:11 PM on August 20, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Miko at 7:12 AM on August 20, 2010 [5 favorites]