Where to bring a girl for drinks in Murray Hill
July 12, 2010 9:16 AM   Subscribe

Where should I bring a girl to get drinks in the Murray Hill / Gramercy area?

I met a girl last week through a friend, and we decided to get drinks this week. Can you recommend some places in the Murray Hill / Gramercy area? I'm open to all types of places - bars, lounges, etc. We'll probably go around 9 pm.

Also, any advice for paying for her cab when she leaves? It seems that it'd be weird to hand her or the driver cash, but I'd love to hear some thoughts.
posted by anonymous to Food & Drink (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Also, any advice for paying for her cab when she leaves?

That seems a bit much. So my advice is don't.
posted by grouse at 9:33 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is there some specific reason that you think you should pay for a cab for her? As a woman, I'd be incredibly weirded out if a man tried to pay for my transportation on a first date. Unless she actually is a "girl" (under the age of 18), I'd assume that she'll provide her own transportation.
posted by decathecting at 9:34 AM on July 12, 2010


Tell us a little about yourself and the girl so we can recommend appropriate places.

Is there a reason she's taking a cab to an area that's quite accessible by transit? The 6 train stops at 23rd, 28th, and 33rd.
posted by millipede at 9:38 AM on July 12, 2010


It's too bad this is anonymous, because this question would be aided by a few more details. How old are you? What kind of music do you like? How much do you want to spend? What's your personal style? (And all of the same about your date!)

Without any other info, some decent starting points might be BUtterfield 8 or the Rare View. But in Murray Hill your choices are limited and will tend to be commuter bars or Irish pubs.

Oh, and don't pay for her cab home.
posted by bcwinters at 9:39 AM on July 12, 2010


If she's old enough to go to a bar, she's old enough to arrange her own way home.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:52 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


1. Is there a reason you're confined to Murray Hill/Gramercy Park? The bars in that neck of the woods tend to be - how can I put this? - Not Classy. The last time someone asked me on a date and suggested a Murray Hill bar over and above any other part of the city, it did not go well because, yep, he turned out to be The Sort Of Guy Who Hangs Out In Murray Hill. Now it's almost always a slight red-flag for me unless there's some reason we need to meet there.

2. If you're dead set on that particular neighborhood, honestly all the bars are mostly the same. Fratty pubs which all have Amstel Light on tap and I'm sure pour a wonderful Jaeger Bomb. Just go to yelp, put in your coordinates, and pick whatever looks the most convenient. It's not like Paddy O'Flaherty's is date rape city, while The Blarney Stone is a super classy establishment with the best martini in town.

3. Don't pay for cab fare unless you are both getting into the taxi. If you are, here's how this goes: get the cab to go to her place first. When she leaves, say something relaxed like, "I'll get this one". Then you go to your place and pay as usual.
posted by Sara C. at 9:53 AM on July 12, 2010 [6 favorites]


Well, actually, there are a TON of places to go out in Murray Hill that are not commuter bars or Irish pubs, but they're all 20-something dbag palaces.

Why Murray Hill?

And this is not 1950. You do not pay for a woman's cab home.
posted by micawber at 9:55 AM on July 12, 2010


Is there a reason you're confined to Murray Hill/Gramercy Park? The bars in that neck of the woods tend to be - how can I put this? - Not Classy.

Hold up, you only mean Murray Hill, which is indeed a cultureless dead zone. But Gramercy has a lot of trendy hotel bars with $18 cocktail menus. I'd suggest going through New York Magazine's critics' picks in the bars category to get a better idea of places to check out. Jade and Rose Bar are pretty swanky and upscale, Beauty Bar is more hipster-oriented, crowded, and fun, while no-frills Revival is fine for beers on the patio and a decently quiet conversation.
posted by zoomorphic at 9:59 AM on July 12, 2010


Good god. Don't try to pay for her cab. That's just absurd and insulting.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 10:08 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


If you do stick to Murray Hill, Paddy Reilly's music bar is not a bad place to be. Yes, it's sort of your stereotypical Irish pub, but it does have good music. The guy who owns it is actually Irish, and furthermore, he loves Guiness so much that he originally wanted to only sell Guiness in the bar. The Guiness people said, "You can't do that, you have to sell other beer too." He acquiesced, but when I was going there, the only thing they had on draught was Guiness. So, cute enough for a neighborhood bar. However, I do think Gramercy might be a better bet.

Also, the only way to pay for someone's cab is to share it, and drop her off first. This doesn't always geographically make sense, and I agree that a grown up New York girl really should be paying for her transport on the first date.
posted by Polyhymnia at 10:11 AM on July 12, 2010


Beauty Bar is in the East Village.

And while there exist Classy Hotel Bars in Gramercy, it's certainly not the best neighborhood in the city for that sort of thing. If you want to take a date out somewhere really impressive a la the Gramercy Park Hotel, I'd suggest heading to the Meat Packing District where the really hip hotel bars are. Or somewhere known for outstanding cocktails like Angel's Share (East Village) or Little Branch (West Village). Or the Upper East Side, where the truly wealthy drink.

The nice thing about Manhattan is that it's not Los Angeles. You can get from one part of the city to another very easily, via several different transportation options. Below about 60th street you can even walk from one neighborhood to the next.
posted by Sara C. at 10:23 AM on July 12, 2010


I would find it charming and very civilized if you non-awkwardly took care of my cab ride home (you would hand the driver the money directly). I don't think it's the least bit insulting or weird.

HOWEVER - if you did that kind of thing, it would have to be natural, and you likely would have done this plenty of times before, and it would have to fit with who you are/be the type of thing you would just naturally do. It doesn't sound like that fits, so I wouldn't do it. It is not expected and I would err on the side of skipping it. I don't think you lose anything by *not* doing it, but I think that doing it has potential to go quite wrong (see several comments above) so I'd skip it.
posted by mrs. taters at 10:25 AM on July 12, 2010


Rare View and Bookmarks at the Library Hotel are good options (if the weather is nice). Don't pay for the cab - it would be awkward, and I bet she'll be wondering what the heck you're doing, and then tell her friends about the weird guy who paid for her cab. And then what happens if you don't pay enough? Then she has to make up the difference. It would just be weird all around.
posted by melissasaurus at 11:03 AM on July 12, 2010


You people....

I would LOSE MY SHIT in the best possible way if a guy sauvely paid for my cab home. But that's just me.

You'll need to know where she's headed. Then you guesstimate how much the fare is going to be (if you're not familiar enough with the city, Hopstop.com will give a cab-fare estimate between two points) and err on the side of caution/generosity.

When you've both decided that it's time to go home, you say "Let me get you a cab," and stride purposefully out into the street to hail one. Don't mumble about whether she um...wants a cab or um... like... how she wants to get home. (This phrase will help make it clear that you are taking care of the fare -- otherwise it'd be quite presumptuous of you to assume that she's going to take a cab and pay for it herself.) At this point, you already know where she's going, or you ask her now. The cab pulls up, you open the door, she gets in, you say your appropriate good nights, and then lean in, tell the driver where she's going with the money in your hand so the driver knows not to pull away prematurely. Or, before she gets into the cab, you lean in and tell the driver where she's going and hand him the money, and then she gets into the cab. The latter method will allow for a more kissy/whatever-type of "goodnight" while you're both still standing outside the cab.

Now, this all assumes that she's the type of girl who'd appreciate this. Obviously, some girls wouldn't. You'll have to gauge this throughout the date. And it also assumes that she feels comfortable enough with you to tell you where she lives, but since you've met through friends I don't see that being a problem.

And yes, of course I'm a big New York girl and can manage and pay for my own transportation. I can also pay for my own drinks, buy myself flowers and jewelry, cook myself dinner, put my IKEA furniture together... but la vita รจ bella when a man makes the effort to do those things for me.
posted by thebazilist at 11:16 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Maybe the lobby bar at the Ace Hotel on 29th and 5th ave? It may or may not be your cup of tea, but it's one of the few unique options in this part of town.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 11:22 AM on July 12, 2010


I would find it charming and very civilized if you non-awkwardly took care of my cab ride home (you would hand the driver the money directly)

Just my personal data point: I would be especially horrified if my date handed money to my cab driver. I can't think of any way that this is not patronizing. It would just be really weird to suggest that an adult woman needs a couple of men, or otherwise (depending on the taxi driver), banding together to arrange her smooth transport. I work, I have a paycheck, I am an adult, I can move about the city just fucking fine, thank you very much. I highly doubt I am alone in this view. On the other hand, if you really want to go this route, it will give her a picture of how you view these kinds of issues (and maybe she will be fine with it, but it is risky.)
posted by wondershrew with a helping of potato salad at 11:45 AM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Now, this all assumes that she's the type of girl who'd appreciate this. Obviously, some girls wouldn't. You'll have to gauge this throughout the date. And it also assumes that she feels comfortable enough with you to tell you where she lives, but since you've met through friends I don't see that being a problem.

Personal viewpoints aside, the forceful reactions in this thread should indicate that this if this isn't some sort of pre-arranged action then this is a huge risk to take on a first date with someone you might want to see again.
posted by edbles at 11:53 AM on July 12, 2010


Re the taxi thing - I think it depends exactly what your relationship to this person is.

If my significant other or someone I was beginning to see more seriously did this, after a really special evening out, it would be somewhat charming. Still in the "I'm a big girl and can get around on my own" camp, but if you took me out somewhere really upscale, maybe for a birthday or anniversary or for some other celebration/milestone, and if you were really, really smooth about it, I'd probably think it was sweet of you. Especially if it was a bar far from home, and you knew the cab fare would be a lot and I wouldn't want to get the subway.

Or maybe if we had some kind of special "Mad Men Manhattan" evening where we dressed in period costume, drank classic cocktails at a bar that was around back then, etc. Speaking of which, damn, that would be fun. Anybody want to be the Don Draper to my Rachel Menken?

But then, if all of that is true, why aren't we going home together or at least sharing a cab?

On the other hand. If this is your first date? No, no, a million times no! There are just too many opportunities to give the wrong impression.
posted by Sara C. at 11:56 AM on July 12, 2010


Also, random data point: my most recent dude shared a cab home with me on our first date. I don't recall if he paid or not, but he texted me something very sweet as I walked up the steps to my apartment. It made a huge first impression, a much bigger one than whether he paid my cab fare or we split it or what.
posted by Sara C. at 11:58 AM on July 12, 2010


The new 'inoteca on 3rd Ave and 24th Street is by far the best date spot in that part of town.
posted by nicwolff at 2:42 PM on July 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Cavatappo Wine Bar and 'inoteca are nice, but they can get really loud. I went on an awesome date at Pierre Loti Wine Bar once so I'm recommending that. The Ace Hotel is also very cool.

I am also recommending that you refrain from paying for her cab on the first date. I understand that you want to be chivalrous, but no. Nooo. No no no.
posted by blackcatcuriouser at 10:50 PM on July 12, 2010


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