Thanks, but literally, get off my lawn.
July 9, 2010 9:21 PM Subscribe
Our next-door neighbor's opinions about lawn care differ from ours. Hijinks ensue.
Partner and I have herbs, vegetables, native plants, and a low-mow fescue lawn. We also have limited free time to spend fussing over grass; I'd say it's about five inches long right now. Our next-door neighbor is That Guy with the manicured lawn, and his disapproval of our laid-back approach is getting increasingly clear.
Earlier this summer, he mowed an overgrown, hard-to-reach strip of no man's land about two feet wide between his chain-link fence and our garage wall. OK, helpful! I'd have had trouble maneuvering our push mower in there. But it's on our property and he did it without asking. Two days ago, he seems to have mowed the berm in front of our house between the sidewalk and the street. It badly needed mowing for sure, but I don't think it exceeded our city's legal limit of 8 inches, and again: our property, he didn't ask. He left a pile of clippings in our driveway at the time. We've both been mostly out of the house since then, and my first opportunity to haul the clippings from our driveway to the compost pile was this afternoon. At which point I found the pile of clippings moved onto the berm, in a trash bag.
What we're puzzled by is how to react to the passive-aggressive nonconsensual lawn care. On the one hand, this guy cut the grass so I didn't have to. On the other, we're feeling kind of invaded, and this is part of an irritating pattern of behavior on his part. I know, I know: go talk to him. But what to say? Ideally, I would like to convince him that our yard isn't his business, not escalate the conflict or drag in a third party.
Partner and I have herbs, vegetables, native plants, and a low-mow fescue lawn. We also have limited free time to spend fussing over grass; I'd say it's about five inches long right now. Our next-door neighbor is That Guy with the manicured lawn, and his disapproval of our laid-back approach is getting increasingly clear.
Earlier this summer, he mowed an overgrown, hard-to-reach strip of no man's land about two feet wide between his chain-link fence and our garage wall. OK, helpful! I'd have had trouble maneuvering our push mower in there. But it's on our property and he did it without asking. Two days ago, he seems to have mowed the berm in front of our house between the sidewalk and the street. It badly needed mowing for sure, but I don't think it exceeded our city's legal limit of 8 inches, and again: our property, he didn't ask. He left a pile of clippings in our driveway at the time. We've both been mostly out of the house since then, and my first opportunity to haul the clippings from our driveway to the compost pile was this afternoon. At which point I found the pile of clippings moved onto the berm, in a trash bag.
What we're puzzled by is how to react to the passive-aggressive nonconsensual lawn care. On the one hand, this guy cut the grass so I didn't have to. On the other, we're feeling kind of invaded, and this is part of an irritating pattern of behavior on his part. I know, I know: go talk to him. But what to say? Ideally, I would like to convince him that our yard isn't his business, not escalate the conflict or drag in a third party.
When I've lived places where this has happened before, it's been because the neighbor has been being helpful.
The grass was getting long, and he mowed it. It's hard to understand, really, how this is a problem, without knowing more of the context. Is it possible he was trying to make up for past problems between you all? I encourage you to tell him thanks, and try to get over it.
Try giving him the benefit of the doubt. If you suggest he shouldn't do it, you'll only sound petty--especially because the areas he did were the boundary areas.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:36 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
The grass was getting long, and he mowed it. It's hard to understand, really, how this is a problem, without knowing more of the context. Is it possible he was trying to make up for past problems between you all? I encourage you to tell him thanks, and try to get over it.
Try giving him the benefit of the doubt. If you suggest he shouldn't do it, you'll only sound petty--especially because the areas he did were the boundary areas.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:36 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
With a big, sincere smile: "We saw that you mowed the lawn. Thank you! Such a pleasant surprise, but please don't put yourself to all that trouble... no, really, we insist! We'll make sure it doesn't grow so tall that it violates any city codes. We don't want you to go to any trouble, we insist. You're the best. Have a great day!"
posted by studioaudience at 9:40 PM on July 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by studioaudience at 9:40 PM on July 9, 2010 [5 favorites]
Your post reminds me of this Cary Tennis letter. It just provides a different perspective. Be sure to read the comments too.
What to say to him? How about "Thank you for doing this yard work in the fuzzy boundary area between your and our properties. It really did need mowing and that other spot was hard to reach. Glad you have the proper tools to do so; we can't get our push mower in there. We'll try to get to it first before it gets out of control next time, but if you want to go ahead, just let us know beforehand so we can pitch in our part of getting rid of the clippings."
posted by foxjacket at 9:44 PM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
What to say to him? How about "Thank you for doing this yard work in the fuzzy boundary area between your and our properties. It really did need mowing and that other spot was hard to reach. Glad you have the proper tools to do so; we can't get our push mower in there. We'll try to get to it first before it gets out of control next time, but if you want to go ahead, just let us know beforehand so we can pitch in our part of getting rid of the clippings."
posted by foxjacket at 9:44 PM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Sometimes this happens at my house. In our case it's a neighbor with a riding lawnmower who is genuinely helpful, had to mow next door anyway, and was having fun doing it.
In your case, I'd just assume this. Even if it is passive aggressive nonsense, it's still the best reaction to have. ;-)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:50 PM on July 9, 2010
In your case, I'd just assume this. Even if it is passive aggressive nonsense, it's still the best reaction to have. ;-)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:50 PM on July 9, 2010
Other than it being sorta weird, (and I agree that it is), is there any damage done by the mowing on your property? If not, I would say to chalk it up to neighbor eccentricities. If he took a weed-eater to your herbs, however, I would say it was time for a talk.
posted by Gilbert at 9:51 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Gilbert at 9:51 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm going to disagree with the sentiment that he's just being helpful. Helpful would be mowing the lawn by itself; helpful would be removing the clippings, not leaving them for a while, then putting them in a bag on the berm for you to notice. That's classic passive-aggressive.
There is a certain subtype of suburban resident who see themselves as the arbiter of community standards, and those who don't live up to their ideal have somehow transgressed so much that he deems their rights to courtesy and respect to have been voided. I've lived next door to such a person. This doesn't stop until you tell him to stop.
I agree with studioaudience's wording, as long as you add words that make it crystal clear you do not want this to continue. It needs nipping in the bud. Calm but firm, state your wants; repeat as needed.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:55 PM on July 9, 2010 [9 favorites]
There is a certain subtype of suburban resident who see themselves as the arbiter of community standards, and those who don't live up to their ideal have somehow transgressed so much that he deems their rights to courtesy and respect to have been voided. I've lived next door to such a person. This doesn't stop until you tell him to stop.
I agree with studioaudience's wording, as long as you add words that make it crystal clear you do not want this to continue. It needs nipping in the bud. Calm but firm, state your wants; repeat as needed.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:55 PM on July 9, 2010 [9 favorites]
You live across the street from me!
We have a lovely, and overly helpful, enthusiastic lawn maintainer in our neighborhood. He is retired and doesn't have much to think about except his lawn and his beautiful classic care. He frequently mows the lawns of his neighbors on both sides (and waters them...and seeds them) because he really enjoys seeing grass of uniform height. He loves lawns. He's nutty over lawns. He also gets a bit ruffled if someone within a few houses of him lets their weeds go crazy because the seeds will land on his perfectly, manicured lawn.
I would have the same reaction that you do, because I am pretty laissez-faire about my lawn, and tend to feel guilty about it. However, I have a job and a kid and we're renovating the house, so the amount of time we have to think about grass height is really minimized. My neighbors on either side aren't so militant about their lawns, but they are pretty quick on the draw for shoveling sidewalks and I will frequently be rubbing my eyes and peeking out of my blinds on a snow day at 7 am to the sight of them rev'ing up their dueling snowblowers and attacking my walk.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he just enjoys mowing and the sense of accomplishment he gets from conquering those little patches of grass and weeds. Perhaps his tolerance for the height of grass is different than yours (and you don't have to feel badly about that...vive la différance, etc.) Perhaps the no-man's-land was sprouting weeds that could start creeping through that chain link fence. Who knows? I would take Jessamyn's advice, thank him, explain that your schedule doesn't get you out to cut the lawn as much as he is able to tend his, and that you drag out the mower X times a month or when the grass is X high so he can reset his expectations. Tell him you'd like to return a favor sometime for his kindness and if he needs someone to help lift something heavy/shovel a sidewalk/whatever offer you're comfortable with, he can count on you.
posted by jeanmari at 10:09 PM on July 9, 2010
We have a lovely, and overly helpful, enthusiastic lawn maintainer in our neighborhood. He is retired and doesn't have much to think about except his lawn and his beautiful classic care. He frequently mows the lawns of his neighbors on both sides (and waters them...and seeds them) because he really enjoys seeing grass of uniform height. He loves lawns. He's nutty over lawns. He also gets a bit ruffled if someone within a few houses of him lets their weeds go crazy because the seeds will land on his perfectly, manicured lawn.
I would have the same reaction that you do, because I am pretty laissez-faire about my lawn, and tend to feel guilty about it. However, I have a job and a kid and we're renovating the house, so the amount of time we have to think about grass height is really minimized. My neighbors on either side aren't so militant about their lawns, but they are pretty quick on the draw for shoveling sidewalks and I will frequently be rubbing my eyes and peeking out of my blinds on a snow day at 7 am to the sight of them rev'ing up their dueling snowblowers and attacking my walk.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he just enjoys mowing and the sense of accomplishment he gets from conquering those little patches of grass and weeds. Perhaps his tolerance for the height of grass is different than yours (and you don't have to feel badly about that...vive la différance, etc.) Perhaps the no-man's-land was sprouting weeds that could start creeping through that chain link fence. Who knows? I would take Jessamyn's advice, thank him, explain that your schedule doesn't get you out to cut the lawn as much as he is able to tend his, and that you drag out the mower X times a month or when the grass is X high so he can reset his expectations. Tell him you'd like to return a favor sometime for his kindness and if he needs someone to help lift something heavy/shovel a sidewalk/whatever offer you're comfortable with, he can count on you.
posted by jeanmari at 10:09 PM on July 9, 2010
If he's just being helpful, then taking his help at face value and thanking him is the way to go. If he is doing it to be passive-aggressive, then cheerily acting like you're taking him at face value (instead of feeling bad and pressured by him) and thanking him will irritate the crap out of him right back.
Seems like either way, your actions are the same.
posted by ctmf at 10:13 PM on July 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
Seems like either way, your actions are the same.
posted by ctmf at 10:13 PM on July 9, 2010 [8 favorites]
I agree, mainly, that the solution to your question is to talk to your neighbour. You live mere yards from this person. Talk to them. Find out what they want. You might make a friend - at least you might solve the problem. If that fails, use Glyphosate to burn an offensive word in his lawn - this works particularly well if it's neat and manicured.
posted by Jimbob at 10:25 PM on July 9, 2010
posted by Jimbob at 10:25 PM on July 9, 2010
My vote is that he's definitely being passive-aggressive and it's time to address it before he continues to smolder and then explodes one day in a lawn-related tirade.
It's not part of your question, but do you have any teenagers in your neighborhood that you could pay to mow your lawn with more frequency than you want to? It might be a nice way for them to earn a few bucks, your place looks neater, and your neighbor is appeased.
posted by cecic at 10:47 PM on July 9, 2010
It's not part of your question, but do you have any teenagers in your neighborhood that you could pay to mow your lawn with more frequency than you want to? It might be a nice way for them to earn a few bucks, your place looks neater, and your neighbor is appeased.
posted by cecic at 10:47 PM on July 9, 2010
He's being passive-aggressive. Just thank him, tell him you cut the lawn twice a month, that you prefer to do it yourself, and ask him not to do it anymore.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:48 PM on July 9, 2010
posted by KokuRyu at 10:48 PM on July 9, 2010
You kind of need to watch out how you approach him, though, as you're going to be neighbours for years, and this is how feuds start.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:50 PM on July 9, 2010
posted by KokuRyu at 10:50 PM on July 9, 2010
Wait.... so, you are upset that he is taking it upon himself to cut your grass? For free? Either stop worrying about this or just go talk with him. A good opener would be, "Hey, I noticed you mowed our lawn the other day...." Or something like that.
posted by Funky Claude at 10:52 PM on July 9, 2010
posted by Funky Claude at 10:52 PM on July 9, 2010
Best answer: Not thanking him is being passive aggressive too.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 11:06 PM on July 9, 2010
posted by ethnomethodologist at 11:06 PM on July 9, 2010
Never attribute to malice what could be attributed to friendliness.
Obviously he likes to mow, maybe he just figured you needed a little help. Maybe he thought your mower was broken, who knows. And the pile of clippings? Perhaps he's seen your compost bin and was doing you a favor.
posted by sanka at 11:07 PM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Obviously he likes to mow, maybe he just figured you needed a little help. Maybe he thought your mower was broken, who knows. And the pile of clippings? Perhaps he's seen your compost bin and was doing you a favor.
posted by sanka at 11:07 PM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
I wish people wouldn't throw around terms like passive-aggressive and act like it's a definitive description. It's a subjective perception that depends on our own location on the p/a scale.
Now as to the neighbour, I think he is being helpful and likes neat lawns. His putting the cuttings on the drive was a courtesy for you to put them on your compost or to mulch something with them. When he saw that you weren't interested/able to make use of the cuttings he bagged them for you. What a nice neighbour!
You on the other hand have labelled your neighbour as 'That Guy with the manicured lawn' and appeared to have attached all sorts of unspoken connotations to that trope. That's a shame as it's best to be open-minded and give people the benefit of the doubt.
posted by Kerasia at 11:14 PM on July 9, 2010
Now as to the neighbour, I think he is being helpful and likes neat lawns. His putting the cuttings on the drive was a courtesy for you to put them on your compost or to mulch something with them. When he saw that you weren't interested/able to make use of the cuttings he bagged them for you. What a nice neighbour!
You on the other hand have labelled your neighbour as 'That Guy with the manicured lawn' and appeared to have attached all sorts of unspoken connotations to that trope. That's a shame as it's best to be open-minded and give people the benefit of the doubt.
posted by Kerasia at 11:14 PM on July 9, 2010
We had a neighbor who did this. They liked a neater lawn than we did and tidied the spots that they could see. My husband, who is very friendly, when over and thanked them and asked them if there was a problem. They said no, they just liked mowing and wanted the spots they could see to be mowed more. The did it for about 20 years and we were always on good terms with them. Like I said, my husband is super friendly and nice, so people usually respond to him very positively.
posted by fifilaru at 11:35 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by fifilaru at 11:35 PM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
I wish people wouldn't throw around terms like passive-aggressive and act like it's a definitive description.
If the neighbour is not passive-aggressive, then what kind of clueless nitwit would mow someone else's grass and then leave a bag of clippings right in the way without saying a word of explanation? Perhaps the guy just doesn't have any communication skills, but hey, get the fuck off MY lawn.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:35 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
If the neighbour is not passive-aggressive, then what kind of clueless nitwit would mow someone else's grass and then leave a bag of clippings right in the way without saying a word of explanation? Perhaps the guy just doesn't have any communication skills, but hey, get the fuck off MY lawn.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:35 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
KokuRyu. I see the leaving of the clippings as a positive act. Clavicle obviously likes her vegie garden and lawn clippings are good mulch. I thought it was a nice act to both mow the nature strip AND leave the clippings for them to use, AND then bag up the clippings when they didn't use them. How is that passive aggressive?
posted by Kerasia at 12:49 AM on July 10, 2010
posted by Kerasia at 12:49 AM on July 10, 2010
From the neighbours POV, I can see that he probably thought he was doing something nice for you. You obviously have trouble mowing your lawn, so he figured he'd take care of it for you. Everyone likes mowed lawns, right?
From your point of view, I can see how you'd be annoyed over this. He came onto your property and altered it without your consent. You should have said something when you noticed the thin strip he mowed. That was him testing the waters to see how you'd react. If you complained, he could easily argue that he'd overshot the mark. Now, though, he's escalated it.
I'd have a quiet word with him and give him the opportunity to explain himself. During that conversation, you can say to him whether or not you want him to do it again. You could open with something along the lines of "Hey, Neighbour. We noticed that you've mowed our lawn. What's up with that?". This gives him the chance to make himself heard. He'll probably waffle on about how it's no problem for him to do it (giving out the impression that it's going to continue) and doesn't it look nice (either answer no, or don't respond verbally). Once he's explained himself, then you can clearly say that you don't want this to continue. Don't smile too much, but do be friendly and civil. You need to get your point across that this is not welcome behaviour. Don't attack, but don't go back on what you're saying either. Repeat yourself until it sinks in and he agrees. If you walk away after he's said that he's going to continue it, he'll think it's OK to continue. You need to get the last word.
You have the right to not have people mow your lawn for you. I would be seriously annoyed if someone else decided that they had the right to alter my property in this way. It's my space and my concern, and I'd also wonder what would be next - painting my garage door a different colour? Digging up plants that he doesn't like? How would he like it if you went onto his property and started altering it? I don't know about passive aggressive, but this kind of behaviour is rude in the extreme and really not what grown adults should be doing.
posted by Solomon at 1:41 AM on July 10, 2010
From your point of view, I can see how you'd be annoyed over this. He came onto your property and altered it without your consent. You should have said something when you noticed the thin strip he mowed. That was him testing the waters to see how you'd react. If you complained, he could easily argue that he'd overshot the mark. Now, though, he's escalated it.
I'd have a quiet word with him and give him the opportunity to explain himself. During that conversation, you can say to him whether or not you want him to do it again. You could open with something along the lines of "Hey, Neighbour. We noticed that you've mowed our lawn. What's up with that?". This gives him the chance to make himself heard. He'll probably waffle on about how it's no problem for him to do it (giving out the impression that it's going to continue) and doesn't it look nice (either answer no, or don't respond verbally). Once he's explained himself, then you can clearly say that you don't want this to continue. Don't smile too much, but do be friendly and civil. You need to get your point across that this is not welcome behaviour. Don't attack, but don't go back on what you're saying either. Repeat yourself until it sinks in and he agrees. If you walk away after he's said that he's going to continue it, he'll think it's OK to continue. You need to get the last word.
You have the right to not have people mow your lawn for you. I would be seriously annoyed if someone else decided that they had the right to alter my property in this way. It's my space and my concern, and I'd also wonder what would be next - painting my garage door a different colour? Digging up plants that he doesn't like? How would he like it if you went onto his property and started altering it? I don't know about passive aggressive, but this kind of behaviour is rude in the extreme and really not what grown adults should be doing.
posted by Solomon at 1:41 AM on July 10, 2010
While it's certainly possible that he's being nice, I will relate my tale of the other end of this spectrum.
My parents have had the same next door neighbor for the whole 33 years that they lived there. As the neighbor has gotten older, things have taken a turn for the worse. He started by trimming a hedge right on the fence line. As the years went by, the trimming line moved further and further onto our side of the fence.
This summer, my parents found poison pellets around the bird feeder in their fenced back yard. Other neighbors told my dad that they saw the crazy neighbor in the yard quite frequently. When questioned by the police, the neighbor denied putting the poison down, but then went into a tirade about the evils of feeding birds.
While this is an extreme example of passive-aggressive neighborly antics, if the lawn mowing bothers you, put a stop to it now. Letting it slide can just let the problems grow.
posted by hwyengr at 2:39 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
My parents have had the same next door neighbor for the whole 33 years that they lived there. As the neighbor has gotten older, things have taken a turn for the worse. He started by trimming a hedge right on the fence line. As the years went by, the trimming line moved further and further onto our side of the fence.
This summer, my parents found poison pellets around the bird feeder in their fenced back yard. Other neighbors told my dad that they saw the crazy neighbor in the yard quite frequently. When questioned by the police, the neighbor denied putting the poison down, but then went into a tirade about the evils of feeding birds.
While this is an extreme example of passive-aggressive neighborly antics, if the lawn mowing bothers you, put a stop to it now. Letting it slide can just let the problems grow.
posted by hwyengr at 2:39 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
Wow, this is a real rorschach test. You're not going to find an answer here.
Leaving the bag could be passive-aggressive (as many think), approval-seeking (that is, he wants you to notice he did a nice thing), feeling annoyed that he did a favor but just couldn't be bothered to deal with the clippings (legitimate IMO), or even a friendly gesture to make sure you noticed you had something extra for the compost.
There's one way to figure out which of these scenarios is true, which is to ask him what's up. All you have to do is stop by, make some small talk, and bring it up nonchalantly with a thank you. If he's being a passive-aggressive dick, genuinely thanking him will annoy him more than anything, so you don't really lose face here. Either way, you get a chance to gauge his reaction.
posted by cj_ at 3:04 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Leaving the bag could be passive-aggressive (as many think), approval-seeking (that is, he wants you to notice he did a nice thing), feeling annoyed that he did a favor but just couldn't be bothered to deal with the clippings (legitimate IMO), or even a friendly gesture to make sure you noticed you had something extra for the compost.
There's one way to figure out which of these scenarios is true, which is to ask him what's up. All you have to do is stop by, make some small talk, and bring it up nonchalantly with a thank you. If he's being a passive-aggressive dick, genuinely thanking him will annoy him more than anything, so you don't really lose face here. Either way, you get a chance to gauge his reaction.
posted by cj_ at 3:04 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
For what it's worth, back when I was renting a duplex, I mowed the overgrown lawn of my duplex neighbor. I wasn't trying to be passive-aggressive. It was clear that her lawn needed mowing, that I was in the mood to mow when she or her son weren't.
Look at it this way -- if the guy's lawn is immaculate, it looks all the better next to your shitty looking overgrown mess, doesn't it?
posted by crunchland at 3:12 AM on July 10, 2010
Look at it this way -- if the guy's lawn is immaculate, it looks all the better next to your shitty looking overgrown mess, doesn't it?
posted by crunchland at 3:12 AM on July 10, 2010
As a teenager, I cut grass for a living. On many lawns, there's a strip on the neighbor's side of the driveway that winds up being contentious - it's *my* responsibility according to the property line, but it's contiguous with the neighbor's lawn. Most of the time the solution became - if you were mowing, and it needed it, you cut it. If the neighbor was mowing, and it needed it, he cut it.
My grandma and grandpa lived next to a fire captain. Due to his fireman schedule, he never cut the lawn on the same day of the week. It got to be a bit of a pissing contest, since he always seemed to cut it the day before I got there, but we worked up a compromise. He kept it cut, I would trim (as an older guy, detailed work with the trimmer was not in his skillset).
Couple months ago, my front lawn, on top of being kinda thin looking and mossy, developed mushrooms. Neighbor cut it. Bagged it, even. I told him thank you. That your neighbor left the clippings suggests he motives weren't exactly altruistic.
posted by notsnot at 4:32 AM on July 10, 2010
My grandma and grandpa lived next to a fire captain. Due to his fireman schedule, he never cut the lawn on the same day of the week. It got to be a bit of a pissing contest, since he always seemed to cut it the day before I got there, but we worked up a compromise. He kept it cut, I would trim (as an older guy, detailed work with the trimmer was not in his skillset).
Couple months ago, my front lawn, on top of being kinda thin looking and mossy, developed mushrooms. Neighbor cut it. Bagged it, even. I told him thank you. That your neighbor left the clippings suggests he motives weren't exactly altruistic.
posted by notsnot at 4:32 AM on July 10, 2010
I'm kinda your neighbor. My yard isn't perfectly manicured, but it's getting there, and I mow a lot more than my neighbor does. The property line between our two houses is between my driveway and his house, and it's really weedy. I don't really want the weed seed coming over on to my lawn and infesting it, and I don't really like the fact that he mows once for every five times I mow. So I have mowed all the way up to his house before, and my thought process was this: "Doing this will a) cut the weeds down to protect my yard some, b) be a nice, neighborly thing to do, and c) shame this guy into mowing his lawn more frequently." C was the most important one, to me, and it didn't work.
Then I got a little pissy becasue he mowed before I did and he didn't mow all the way over to my driveway. And that was when I realized that I was being a passive-aggressive jerk, and I let go a little bit.
So I don't know if this helps, but it's a data point, I guess.
(but understand that the neighbor is really the bad guy here, now mostly because he lets his yappy little dog shit on my lawn and doesn't pick it up unless I catch him and ask him to.)
posted by Shohn at 5:44 AM on July 10, 2010
Then I got a little pissy becasue he mowed before I did and he didn't mow all the way over to my driveway. And that was when I realized that I was being a passive-aggressive jerk, and I let go a little bit.
So I don't know if this helps, but it's a data point, I guess.
(but understand that the neighbor is really the bad guy here, now mostly because he lets his yappy little dog shit on my lawn and doesn't pick it up unless I catch him and ask him to.)
posted by Shohn at 5:44 AM on July 10, 2010
>>That Guy with the manicured lawn, and his disapproval of our laid-back approach is getting increasingly clear
Wow:
Right off the bat you seem to perceive this as a hostile act...why so? FWIW I'm That Guy next door with a snow blower, and end up taking care of four or five houses full of retired folks because a. I'm already out there and have the time, and b., it's the right thing to do.
If what you perceive is correct, maybe his mind set is that your are bringing down the look,(and potentially property values) of the neighborhood with what he considers an eyesore. In your best interest, if you are using a push mower, mowing at 5" has got to be a bitch.. I would bet if you averaged it out you might spend less time overall if you did it more often.
Mine gets out of hand here and there, mostly due to cycles of rain, then a few hot sunny days when I'm not here, then rain when I'm back. I'm lucky enough to have a front lawn that doesn't get much sun, and tends to look presentable even if I let it go for weeks.
I'm surprised at the haters out there advising you to throw rocks in your lawn, or leave junk out there, that is just spiteful and ignorant. Talk to the guy, if he tears you a new own, then ask him not to do it anymore. If he says he just had the time and did you a favor, thank him and do something nice for him. Easy enough.
There is a lady across the street known on the block as "Crazy Lawn Lady". I have seen here out there at 7 a.m. mowing in the rain, and when I come back around noon, she is mowing again. In the winter, if there is less than 1" on the ground, she sweeps it. She is crazy in other ways as well..
A month or so back my daughter took our German Shepherd in the back yard for a pee, and as she was bringing him back to the front door, she was walking her little yapfestival pup. So my guy trots over and gives dog's ass a sniff and she starts screaming. I heard the screaming and got up to take a look, but it was over and done with as my kid brought the dog back in.
A few minutes later kid comes in and says Crazy Lawn Lady wants to talk to you. I go out and she is standing in the middle of the street with a stick in her hand saying my dog attacked her, that he was chasing her and scared her etc. I finally just said, "Well what the hell do you want me to do" She suggested having him put down. I told her to blow it out her ass, and she said she was going call Animal Control and cite his as a dangerous animal. I held my phone out and said be my guest, after which she just stomped off.
This Fourth of July, all the neighbors were at the corner setting off fireworks, lots of families in lawn chairs and kids running around -- fully supervised by about 20 semi, and one totally sober adult who
was setting off the big stuff. She comes stomping down the sidewalk with a hose with blood in her eye, hit a two year old in the face with the nozzle busting his lip open, then proceeds to start spraying everyone full blast screaming. Cops were called, but she ran into her house and shut off the lights and wouldn't answer the door. We blew off the rest of the ordinance for another hour or so, swept off the street, and everyone staggered home.
In comparison, maybe you didn't hit the neighbor jackpot, but you might have done worse.
Crazy Lawn Lady postscript:
I have these chives from hell. They start poking up through the snow, bigger and thicker than the year before. I've tried digging them up etc, but they just won't die; you need a priest to get ride of these things. So about a week ago, after a few days of thunderstorms, I walked over the CLL's place about 3 a.m. ,and sprinkled about 2 oz of their seeds all over her front lawn.
I consider this a righteous deed.
posted by timsteil at 5:52 AM on July 10, 2010
Wow:
Right off the bat you seem to perceive this as a hostile act...why so? FWIW I'm That Guy next door with a snow blower, and end up taking care of four or five houses full of retired folks because a. I'm already out there and have the time, and b., it's the right thing to do.
If what you perceive is correct, maybe his mind set is that your are bringing down the look,(and potentially property values) of the neighborhood with what he considers an eyesore. In your best interest, if you are using a push mower, mowing at 5" has got to be a bitch.. I would bet if you averaged it out you might spend less time overall if you did it more often.
Mine gets out of hand here and there, mostly due to cycles of rain, then a few hot sunny days when I'm not here, then rain when I'm back. I'm lucky enough to have a front lawn that doesn't get much sun, and tends to look presentable even if I let it go for weeks.
I'm surprised at the haters out there advising you to throw rocks in your lawn, or leave junk out there, that is just spiteful and ignorant. Talk to the guy, if he tears you a new own, then ask him not to do it anymore. If he says he just had the time and did you a favor, thank him and do something nice for him. Easy enough.
There is a lady across the street known on the block as "Crazy Lawn Lady". I have seen here out there at 7 a.m. mowing in the rain, and when I come back around noon, she is mowing again. In the winter, if there is less than 1" on the ground, she sweeps it. She is crazy in other ways as well..
A month or so back my daughter took our German Shepherd in the back yard for a pee, and as she was bringing him back to the front door, she was walking her little yapfestival pup. So my guy trots over and gives dog's ass a sniff and she starts screaming. I heard the screaming and got up to take a look, but it was over and done with as my kid brought the dog back in.
A few minutes later kid comes in and says Crazy Lawn Lady wants to talk to you. I go out and she is standing in the middle of the street with a stick in her hand saying my dog attacked her, that he was chasing her and scared her etc. I finally just said, "Well what the hell do you want me to do" She suggested having him put down. I told her to blow it out her ass, and she said she was going call Animal Control and cite his as a dangerous animal. I held my phone out and said be my guest, after which she just stomped off.
This Fourth of July, all the neighbors were at the corner setting off fireworks, lots of families in lawn chairs and kids running around -- fully supervised by about 20 semi, and one totally sober adult who
was setting off the big stuff. She comes stomping down the sidewalk with a hose with blood in her eye, hit a two year old in the face with the nozzle busting his lip open, then proceeds to start spraying everyone full blast screaming. Cops were called, but she ran into her house and shut off the lights and wouldn't answer the door. We blew off the rest of the ordinance for another hour or so, swept off the street, and everyone staggered home.
In comparison, maybe you didn't hit the neighbor jackpot, but you might have done worse.
Crazy Lawn Lady postscript:
I have these chives from hell. They start poking up through the snow, bigger and thicker than the year before. I've tried digging them up etc, but they just won't die; you need a priest to get ride of these things. So about a week ago, after a few days of thunderstorms, I walked over the CLL's place about 3 a.m. ,and sprinkled about 2 oz of their seeds all over her front lawn.
I consider this a righteous deed.
posted by timsteil at 5:52 AM on July 10, 2010
it's been a while since i asked this question. i followed the advice about talking to my neighbors about it. that didn't always go smoothly, but as a result i can offer some advice:
--if it's a husband/wife combo, talk to the wife without the husband present.
--talk to him about other things besides lawns. don't always start off by complaining about what he did.
--listen to his biggest complaints. if you deal with them he'll be more likely to be open to respecting your wishes too.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 6:09 AM on July 10, 2010
--if it's a husband/wife combo, talk to the wife without the husband present.
--talk to him about other things besides lawns. don't always start off by complaining about what he did.
--listen to his biggest complaints. if you deal with them he'll be more likely to be open to respecting your wishes too.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 6:09 AM on July 10, 2010
Just nthing that I have 2 neighbors who will happily mow the lawn if we haven't, wondering if someone's sick, and for that matter they plow our driveway in the winter too. I would err on the side of kindness in this matter and thank him like studioaudience suggested.
posted by IndigoRain at 6:44 AM on July 10, 2010
posted by IndigoRain at 6:44 AM on July 10, 2010
I'm the neighbour who gardens and leaves his lawn too long (turns out, if you let some of those weeds grow, they might turn out to be cool plants!) and my neighbour is lawn-obsessive (mows at least 2x a week, and puts out sprinkler even on days when rain is forecast.
If he decided to mow my lawn, I wouldn't be too upset. Unless he mowed over my wild strawberries, chives, lemon balm, and rose campions.
posted by Gortuk at 7:21 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
If he decided to mow my lawn, I wouldn't be too upset. Unless he mowed over my wild strawberries, chives, lemon balm, and rose campions.
posted by Gortuk at 7:21 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
I do it to be "extra-nice." I have a flamed out craftsman riding mower and I don't mind catching the front yard of an empty lot two houses down. It makes the lot look more appealing and cuts down on vermin.
posted by winks007 at 7:55 AM on July 10, 2010
posted by winks007 at 7:55 AM on July 10, 2010
Your lawn sounds like an eyesore. If I took the time and trouble to keep my lawn neat and the person next to me didn't think it meaningful to mow until the grass was half a foot or more high, I'd be irritated, too.
Mow your yard or be happy that someone is doing it for you.
posted by winna at 9:10 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Mow your yard or be happy that someone is doing it for you.
posted by winna at 9:10 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'll jump on the "let it go" bandwagon. Since he did not do anything to your yard that you would not do (mow), it seems that you are getting pretty defensive about the state of your yard and your right to be barely within the 8 inch legal limit. I suppose you have that legal right and can get indignant about it. But he has a corresponding right to be irritated by your unwillingness to/apathy towards the unofficial standards set by the community in which you live.
When I remodeled my house, I was super picky about the garbage left by the workers and bitched constantly about it so that it was cleaned up regularly. Was there an ordinance that only allowed 25 food wrappers/empty soda bottles and was I counting the number on the ground in the clean up? No. I cared about my neighbors and the fact that they had to look at it daily and it might be unpleasant to them. I live in and am part of a community and make effort to make their living situations as pleasant as I would like for them to make mine.
Perhaps you should worry less about the favor he did for you by mowing your yard (regardless of his motives) and simply say thank you. You might also rethink your attitude regarding living within a community and what that means. If you want to keep your yard barely within the legal limits while the rest of your neighbors try to keep their yards well within the legal limits, that is certainly your choice and your legal right. But IMO, that would be pretty selfish and you would be best off moving to a place with no neighbors so you won't have to abide by any standards but your own. Don't be that guy.
posted by murrey at 9:11 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
When I remodeled my house, I was super picky about the garbage left by the workers and bitched constantly about it so that it was cleaned up regularly. Was there an ordinance that only allowed 25 food wrappers/empty soda bottles and was I counting the number on the ground in the clean up? No. I cared about my neighbors and the fact that they had to look at it daily and it might be unpleasant to them. I live in and am part of a community and make effort to make their living situations as pleasant as I would like for them to make mine.
Perhaps you should worry less about the favor he did for you by mowing your yard (regardless of his motives) and simply say thank you. You might also rethink your attitude regarding living within a community and what that means. If you want to keep your yard barely within the legal limits while the rest of your neighbors try to keep their yards well within the legal limits, that is certainly your choice and your legal right. But IMO, that would be pretty selfish and you would be best off moving to a place with no neighbors so you won't have to abide by any standards but your own. Don't be that guy.
posted by murrey at 9:11 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Just as a side note, I know a lot of people keep saying your neighbor is being nice, but by mowing your lawn he's still technically trespassing. As long as your yard complies with local/municipal codes he doesn't have any right to do anything like that. One person's weed is another person's flower, I say.
(From the perspective of someone with mildly-eccentric-but-still-probably-legal ideas on home/garden decor)
posted by mishamashes at 10:43 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
(From the perspective of someone with mildly-eccentric-but-still-probably-legal ideas on home/garden decor)
posted by mishamashes at 10:43 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
My grandfather would totally do this kind of thing. Because that gives him an excuse to have way more heavy machinery than he needs (and we're on 10 acres, I don't know how he'd justify the tractor in a suburb, but he'd find a way, even if it meant mowing the whole block)...
So yeah, only one reason for doing this involves thinking you're a bum, but there are a whole lot of other reasons, so nthing that you need to nicely find out what this guy's reason is.
posted by anaelith at 10:52 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
So yeah, only one reason for doing this involves thinking you're a bum, but there are a whole lot of other reasons, so nthing that you need to nicely find out what this guy's reason is.
posted by anaelith at 10:52 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yes, mishamashes, the neighbor was probably legally trespassing and yes the OP was within his legal rights to have up to 7.9999 inch grass (although the OP wasn't sure if he was within the legal limits and admits it "badly needed mowing, for sure").
I guess the neighbor could have pulled out a tape measure and called the city and the OP could have been given a ticket if the blades of grass were over the magical 8 inches. I guess the OP can likewise call the cops the next time a dreaded mowing trespass occurs. Is this how people really want to or should co-exist with their neighbors?
Nice or not nice and all motivations aside, the neighbor did the OP a favor.
posted by murrey at 11:05 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
I guess the neighbor could have pulled out a tape measure and called the city and the OP could have been given a ticket if the blades of grass were over the magical 8 inches. I guess the OP can likewise call the cops the next time a dreaded mowing trespass occurs. Is this how people really want to or should co-exist with their neighbors?
Nice or not nice and all motivations aside, the neighbor did the OP a favor.
posted by murrey at 11:05 AM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
Are you people who think this guy is just trying to be neighborly not reading the whole question or something? He left the clippings in a little pile on the driveway. This guy is being a jerk and trying to make you feel bad about the fact that you don't have time to maintain your front yard. There's no question in my mind.
I don't have time to mow the lawn either. The obvious answer was to hire someone to mow every couple of weeks. If your lawn really grows as slowly as you say, this could be a once-a-month thing for you. This outlay of cash has been well worth the lack of dirty looks we get from the folks next door, who definitely made some pointed remarks when we moved in about how crummy-looking the yard had gotten while the house was on the market.
posted by little light-giver at 11:22 AM on July 10, 2010
I don't have time to mow the lawn either. The obvious answer was to hire someone to mow every couple of weeks. If your lawn really grows as slowly as you say, this could be a once-a-month thing for you. This outlay of cash has been well worth the lack of dirty looks we get from the folks next door, who definitely made some pointed remarks when we moved in about how crummy-looking the yard had gotten while the house was on the market.
posted by little light-giver at 11:22 AM on July 10, 2010
Mod note: few comments removed - please stick to helping the OP manage this situation and not revenge fantasies or lording your own lawn care opinions over everyone else, thank you.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:39 AM on July 10, 2010
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:39 AM on July 10, 2010
I have two neighbors who have interacted with me about my lawn. One got irritated that it wasn't nicely manicured and called up my in-laws (co-owners of the house). He said, "I'm just trying to be a good neighbor and let you know that 'the kids' aren't taking good care of YOUR property." Mom-in-law, the ever-awesome, told him that if he were *really* a good neighbor, he'd know that I just had back surgery and that we had higher priorities than the grass. And maybe offer to help out. He hasn't said a word to us in the 5 years since.
The other neighbor has a spiffy riding mower that he seems to absolutely love. He lives on one side of me; he mows the property of the neighbor on the other side too. As he goes by, he mows the edge of my grass next to the road, the part he drives across--sometimes he goes back and forth making sure it's done up to my fenceline. Really nice of him, and I am sure he's just doing it because he's already there, and he sees it needs doing[*], and likes playing with his power equipment.
Gotta say, I prefer the latter's approach. If I were trying to take specific care of anything out there (new plantings, veggie garden area, narrow leafy things that might be mistaken for grass), I'd probably take him a plate of cookies or a pie and thank him for the favor he does me, and just let him know that some of it isn't actually grass and to please leave it alone--but otherwise, it's nice of him to go ahead and chop that for me when I haven't had a chance to get it recently.
I don't think any of us can know what OP's neighbor's motivation for leaving the clippings was. Sure, maybe it was passive aggressive, or maybe it was leaving it where you could see it to use it as compost, or maybe he didn't want to be the one to put that much lawn waste out at the curb, or maybe he just ended up *needing* to empty the bag right then...and he came back and bagged it up when he got a chance later. We don't know; only he does.
[*] My grass grows radioactive-mutant fast, and generally needs to be mowed again after just a couple of hours.
posted by galadriel at 11:54 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
The other neighbor has a spiffy riding mower that he seems to absolutely love. He lives on one side of me; he mows the property of the neighbor on the other side too. As he goes by, he mows the edge of my grass next to the road, the part he drives across--sometimes he goes back and forth making sure it's done up to my fenceline. Really nice of him, and I am sure he's just doing it because he's already there, and he sees it needs doing[*], and likes playing with his power equipment.
Gotta say, I prefer the latter's approach. If I were trying to take specific care of anything out there (new plantings, veggie garden area, narrow leafy things that might be mistaken for grass), I'd probably take him a plate of cookies or a pie and thank him for the favor he does me, and just let him know that some of it isn't actually grass and to please leave it alone--but otherwise, it's nice of him to go ahead and chop that for me when I haven't had a chance to get it recently.
I don't think any of us can know what OP's neighbor's motivation for leaving the clippings was. Sure, maybe it was passive aggressive, or maybe it was leaving it where you could see it to use it as compost, or maybe he didn't want to be the one to put that much lawn waste out at the curb, or maybe he just ended up *needing* to empty the bag right then...and he came back and bagged it up when he got a chance later. We don't know; only he does.
[*] My grass grows radioactive-mutant fast, and generally needs to be mowed again after just a couple of hours.
posted by galadriel at 11:54 AM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Tell him thanks, but it's a liability issue, and you can't have him do that anymore.
posted by sageleaf at 12:03 PM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by sageleaf at 12:03 PM on July 10, 2010 [2 favorites]
We had a psycho neighbor (and I'm not kidding--there's more to this story than I'm going to go into here) who used to scalp portions of our lawn that abutted hers. And I do mean scalp--she mowed way too low as a matter of habit and always had a brown lawn by July, while our hippie-lawn is always green. She actually scraped a little hillock down to the dirt with her mower, which was clearly on our side of the property. Anyway. We built a fence. This seemed to solve the problem, because she no longer had to look at our "shameful" lawn, and the property line became clearly delineated.
She also would come out in the middle of the night and move the property marker when we were building the fence, and yell at my partner during the day when he was building it. He took to wearing earplugs. Yeah. Crazy lady.
posted by RedEmma at 12:12 PM on July 10, 2010
She also would come out in the middle of the night and move the property marker when we were building the fence, and yell at my partner during the day when he was building it. He took to wearing earplugs. Yeah. Crazy lady.
posted by RedEmma at 12:12 PM on July 10, 2010
Before you put pea gravel in the lawn, remember that presumably you've got to mow your lawn sometime, even if your neighbor doesn't.
posted by crunchland at 1:07 PM on July 10, 2010
posted by crunchland at 1:07 PM on July 10, 2010
Response by poster: You guys, you guys. I am very sorry that I mentioned the 8-inch limit. I assure you, I am not marching outside with a ruler and triumphantly not mowing if it's seven and a half inches long. I didn't know about this ordinance until I looked it up before posting my question, I swear. I don't know what came over me.
For the record, the whole point here is that I do want to actually interact with the guy, and we will definitely be going the gratitude and tomatoes route. (We know better than to grow zucchini, I saw the Good Eats episode where Alton's neighbor leaves it on his doorstep under cover of night.) In fact, we will probably need his help to cut back the in-between strip again, or else our house painter's going to be in a world of pain later this month, so I'll have to go ask about that when he's back from wherever he's gone for the weekend.
Commenters reading defensiveness into my OP are totally correct! (Thanks to those who cut me slack; my girlfriend and I are relatively new at this homeowner gig.) I'm defensive because we do work hard on our lawn when we've got the time. I did this morning and am feeling better now, plus a previous AskMe helped me make an executive decision to stop freaking out about the creeping Charlie coming into my yard on both sides. (Dandelions, however, can still DIAF.)
posted by clavicle at 2:19 PM on July 10, 2010
For the record, the whole point here is that I do want to actually interact with the guy, and we will definitely be going the gratitude and tomatoes route. (We know better than to grow zucchini, I saw the Good Eats episode where Alton's neighbor leaves it on his doorstep under cover of night.) In fact, we will probably need his help to cut back the in-between strip again, or else our house painter's going to be in a world of pain later this month, so I'll have to go ask about that when he's back from wherever he's gone for the weekend.
Commenters reading defensiveness into my OP are totally correct! (Thanks to those who cut me slack; my girlfriend and I are relatively new at this homeowner gig.) I'm defensive because we do work hard on our lawn when we've got the time. I did this morning and am feeling better now, plus a previous AskMe helped me make an executive decision to stop freaking out about the creeping Charlie coming into my yard on both sides. (Dandelions, however, can still DIAF.)
posted by clavicle at 2:19 PM on July 10, 2010
See, it's your property, and you should be able to decide what should and shouldn't be done on your property, unless you've broken some kind of health code (which it does NOT sound like you have). I live in a neighborhood filled with macho men and their big man lawn machines, and they take their lawns way too seriously: mowing for hours multiple times a week, watering grass when we're in the middle of a drought, hacking away at a single weed. That's fine if that's what they want to do with their property, but these high-maintenance neighbors with their high-maintenance lawns seem to be genuinely upset by the few lawns (mine included) that don't pass muster. Instead of just 'helping,' these neighbors have actually reported people (though, amazingly, not me... yet) to the town borough. Then the town borough sends someone over to threaten various elderly, sickly, and/or green-thumbless people into going along with what the rest of the neighborhood wants. So, I can definitely understand what your neighbor is like. Reading your account, and having similar neighbors, my interpretation is that those areas (or, maybe your whole property) are bothering your neighbor, and that they thought it would be easier to take the situation into their own hands rather than talk to you directly. My interpretation is NOT that they believe they are helping you do something that you would like done to your property. They're saying: 'This is how I want your property to look'. Or as my neighbor often complains of properties that don't pass muster due to slightly longer grass, etc., 'so-and-so's property is an eye-sore.'
I don't think you should reward this behavior by thanking or giving them some sort of gift for their 'help'. I understand how that would kind of be a 'peace offering' to smooth over any inevitable bad feelings, but it's also encouraging something that just isn't okay. They've overstepped a boundary. Some people have higher priorities in life than a nice lawn (family, work, health.. and sometimes those higher priorities leave little time, energy, and money for other things). Anyway, what is considered a 'nice lawn' is entirely subjective. Your's sounds absolutely fine to me. As far as a solution, I guess it's all been said: 1) you can ignore the situation and just let him do whatever he wants to do, 2) you can butter him up with free produce and ask him nicely, subtley not to do any maintenance work on your property, or 3) you can skip the bribe and straight out, firmly insist that he not do any maintenance work on your property. But I just wanted to say that you ARE in the right, and he IS in the wrong. And I'm a bit irritated by some of the above answers defending your neighbor's actions.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:30 PM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
I don't think you should reward this behavior by thanking or giving them some sort of gift for their 'help'. I understand how that would kind of be a 'peace offering' to smooth over any inevitable bad feelings, but it's also encouraging something that just isn't okay. They've overstepped a boundary. Some people have higher priorities in life than a nice lawn (family, work, health.. and sometimes those higher priorities leave little time, energy, and money for other things). Anyway, what is considered a 'nice lawn' is entirely subjective. Your's sounds absolutely fine to me. As far as a solution, I guess it's all been said: 1) you can ignore the situation and just let him do whatever he wants to do, 2) you can butter him up with free produce and ask him nicely, subtley not to do any maintenance work on your property, or 3) you can skip the bribe and straight out, firmly insist that he not do any maintenance work on your property. But I just wanted to say that you ARE in the right, and he IS in the wrong. And I'm a bit irritated by some of the above answers defending your neighbor's actions.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:30 PM on July 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
Okay, to give you a non-rambly, ranty answer more to your question: if you want to maintain good relations, you want to thank him profusely for his help and butter him up, yes. That's the only way to deal with people who think they're so right that they don't have to ask before invading your property.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:36 PM on July 10, 2010
posted by Mael Oui at 8:36 PM on July 10, 2010
Down the street there is a neighbor who apparently is gone most of the time. Perhaps they are in the military and have been deployed since there are a lot of people in the military here. Sometimes when I walk by or drive by I think about mowing their lawn. Just because I thought it would be a nice surprise for them to finally get back home and discover a nice mowed yard instead of foot tall grass. Now I'm thinking I better leave well enough alone.
posted by GlowWyrm at 5:52 PM on July 11, 2010
posted by GlowWyrm at 5:52 PM on July 11, 2010
Response by poster: So it went like this:
"Hey, thanks for mowing our berm! It helps a ton, we can't get out to mow it often enough. Pretty soon we're gonna mulch it over and put some flowers in there."
"No problem! All the neighbors were bitching about how long you let your grass get."
posted by clavicle at 3:35 PM on July 12, 2010
"Hey, thanks for mowing our berm! It helps a ton, we can't get out to mow it often enough. Pretty soon we're gonna mulch it over and put some flowers in there."
"No problem! All the neighbors were bitching about how long you let your grass get."
posted by clavicle at 3:35 PM on July 12, 2010
Well, there's certainly nothing passive aggressive about that.
posted by crunchland at 3:43 PM on July 12, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by crunchland at 3:43 PM on July 12, 2010 [2 favorites]
We have a neighbor who called the city inspector on us for a downspout issue instead of just telling us (we fixed it and didn't make a big deal about it). There have been other issues with this neighbor in the past - telling us what to plant, aggressively grooming plants in our yard but near the border, giving us "tips" on improvements we should make to our home, etc. I'm glad things worked out well for you and wish they had with us. Some neighbors are just nuts.
posted by Nabubrush at 9:10 AM on July 13, 2010
posted by Nabubrush at 9:10 AM on July 13, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
Basically, my guess is that if he knows there's a plan "we cut the grass once a month whether it needs it or not" then he can decide if he wants to get in your space and YOU can decide if having him just do the work is easier than you feeling bad about not doing the work and having a grouchy neighbor on your hands.
I agree, it's weird that he's in your space. That said, if he's willing to solve the problem with no hard feelings, I'd just let him because it may be the easiest way to smooth things over. Maybe you can give him some extra zucchini when you're done. Everyone loves zucchini.
posted by jessamyn at 9:31 PM on July 9, 2010 [11 favorites]