Straight OCD?
July 9, 2010 10:58 AM   Subscribe

I'm wondering if there's a term for the opposite of HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). HOCD is when a straight person is haunted by fears of being gay. Pretty much what is it called when a gay person is compulsively obsessed with thoughts of being straight which are repulsive and annoying.
posted by antgly to Human Relations (23 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: this is weirdand seemt to be a variant of the same question you've asked here several times previously. If you're going to use AskMe to explore the same topic over and over it would be helpful if you could acknowledge what has been helpful and not helpful in the answers to your previous questions. -- jessamyn

Wouldn't either just fit into the spectrum of "Pure O" OCD, where it's a pure obsession, no matter what the obsession is about?
posted by xingcat at 11:02 AM on July 9, 2010

posted by Jon_Evil at 11:03 AM on July 9, 2010

Unsurprisingly, I can find no real clinical research on this thing you call "Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder," but the closest thing Wikipedia comes to validating this concept is their entry on Purely Obsessional OCD. I imagine the concepts therein could be reconfigured to suit your purposes.

I won't say any more on this topic for fear of, if you'll pardon the pun, totally flaming out in public. I am going to go GRAR in private now.

posted by mykescipark at 11:05 AM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

@Jon_Evil By the way I'm 19.
posted by antgly at 11:05 AM on July 9, 2010

Given that "HOCD" is not an actual psychological diagnosis described in the DSM-IV (and not proposed as a change for the upcoming revision, DSM-5, either), there isn't going to be an official diagnostic term for the opposite, either.
posted by so_gracefully at 11:07 AM on July 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Heterophobic? I think I just made that up. Wouldn't this actually be a part of general phobias or social disorders?
posted by mokeydraws at 11:08 AM on July 9, 2010

Antgly, in the less than six weeks that you've been a member here, you've asked five questions about your sexuality. Each time, posters have encouraged you to seek professional counseling, because the community here can't give you the personalized attention and therapy that is the best way we know to help people deal with issues such as this one. I'm going to make the same recommendation now.

But I'll also ask whether there's a reason that you believe AskMe is a better resource than a professional therapist. Why do you continue asking for advice about this same issue here instead of taking our advice and seeking counseling? Is there some answer that you're hoping to hear that you believe this new phrasing of the question will elicit?
posted by decathecting at 11:10 AM on July 9, 2010 [4 favorites]

angtly, again?? Talk to someone not on the internet about this already! I feel for you, but good lord, man, it's OK to be gay! Or bi! Or whatever you want to be! Just find someone to talk to about this - several MeFites have previously offered for you to contact them via MeMail...

I really, really hope you're not trolling.
posted by widdershins at 11:10 AM on July 9, 2010

The term/concept 'heterophobia' has been around in the gay community for years, never fear.
posted by mykescipark at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2010

To add to my question, is there anything written on my situation? Also, did any of you ever have this?
posted by antgly at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2010

@decathecting I can't really go to a therapist as I live with homophobic parents and during the summer, while not in college it's not easy to sneak out and do my own without being looked at suspiciously. My dad is a complete control freak and wants to have full control over me. Only online am I mostly open for advice. The only time I can really do much is during the fall and spring college semesters.
posted by antgly at 11:14 AM on July 9, 2010

@widdershins I'm not trolling.
posted by antgly at 11:17 AM on July 9, 2010

I can't really go to a therapist as I live with homophobic parents

You don't have to tell them what it's about. "Anxiety" just about covers it.
posted by desjardins at 11:19 AM on July 9, 2010

Only online am I mostly open for advice.

Advice from random internet people cannot replace therapy. A lot of that advice has been "go seek therapy."
posted by desjardins at 11:20 AM on July 9, 2010

Your college/university should have no cost counseling services available. Your parents will not be notified that you are attending these.

Also, dude, it's ok if you're gay.
posted by asockpuppet at 11:22 AM on July 9, 2010

@asockpuppet Yes I have those in my college, but I don't have any summer classes, so it would be difficult to do so without arousing suspicion.
posted by antgly at 11:24 AM on July 9, 2010

These are intrusive thoughts, that wikipedia article should give you other related areas you can research and see what resonates.
posted by artlung at 11:27 AM on July 9, 2010

Is there any reason you can't table this? You don't have to fill out a form or anything. Can you decide that this is something you'll pick up in a year?

Sexuality is pretty fluid for a lot of people anyway -- it's not necessarily this either/or thing for everyone else that you're making it out to be, and a lot can depend on the person (who's desirable, or not) in question.

If you don't have an immediate desire to date or sleep with a particular person, maybe you need to shrug and not seek so hard for an answer to this question at this time. You can fantasize about whatever you want and nobody's making you sign anything.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 11:27 AM on July 9, 2010

I really feel for you, antgly, but at this point, I'm flagging this post as spam.
posted by darkstar at 11:28 AM on July 9, 2010

OK. I was going to suggest that maybe a male gay MeFite could MeMail you to chat about this, but reaching out to an LGBT helpline would be much better since they're better equipped to answer your questions. Really, please do talk to someone - you sound increasingly desperate.
posted by widdershins at 11:31 AM on July 9, 2010

For future reference, the @username twitter style referencing is generally looked down upon on this site.

Also you're 19, you have time to figure it out.
posted by T.D. Strange at 11:32 AM on July 9, 2010

Perhaps your college offers online counseling services. If nothing else you should be able to find the contact information for the available counselors who would be able to tell you specifically what's available in your area/from your school.

In terms of finding an 'answer' to your question, what's wrong with the tried and true test of teenage sexuality of getting drunk at a party and making out with random people? Have you kissed a guy or a girl? If your dad is highly controlling (I'm assuming conservative) I bet he's getting suspicious if you've never had a girlfriend. You don't have to marry her, you don't even have to have sex with her. A kiss is not a contract. But it is a more accurate read of what you want than... this..

Seriously.. test the waters. You can talk this thing to death and at the end of it you'll still be confused and lonely, there's no 'proof' like experience.
posted by Carlotta Bananas at 11:37 AM on July 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

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