Job Dilemma
July 2, 2010 4:53 PM Subscribe
Do I take this job or shove it? Great opportunity except for one thing.
I’ve recently interviewed for a job that is nearly everything I want. It’s an administrative position where I get to decide how I run the section, nobody to supervise, plenty of people to collaborate with, a warm and friendly working environment, close to the beach, opportunities to be innovative and enough money to satisfy me. I’ve worked with the head academic, A, on and off for the last ten years, and really like A and A's working style, and A trusts and respects me. If I take the job, I intend to keep it for the next 5 years.
There’s just one thing. The deputy head, B, is unpleasant. While I’ve been temping there, and during my interview for the permanent position, B has been rude, passive aggressive, and generally unlikeable, and not just to me,but to other staff as well. One example of this is how B refused to participate in a baby celebration for a staff member who skipped some entitled leave to return early, but B refused to present the gift on the grounds that the staffer was behind on work. B has a tendency to cover arse ahead of solving issues. (Office gossip says this is B's typical behaviour).
It appears B resents my longtime association with A as well as resenting A. I've seen B attempt to undermine A in meetings with outside stakeholders and not support A in the day-to-day running of the department. It’s the only thing I don’t like about the position, but B has the potential to make my working day unpleasant.
If I don’t take this job, I can have another, in the same building at a higher rate but 4 days a week, for 6 months, doing work that I would not like nearly as much, so I'm not desperate for a job.
What tips can you give me for making a decision about whether to take the job or not? Should I think of working with B as a dealbreaker? And if I do take the job, how do I handle B best?
I’ve recently interviewed for a job that is nearly everything I want. It’s an administrative position where I get to decide how I run the section, nobody to supervise, plenty of people to collaborate with, a warm and friendly working environment, close to the beach, opportunities to be innovative and enough money to satisfy me. I’ve worked with the head academic, A, on and off for the last ten years, and really like A and A's working style, and A trusts and respects me. If I take the job, I intend to keep it for the next 5 years.
There’s just one thing. The deputy head, B, is unpleasant. While I’ve been temping there, and during my interview for the permanent position, B has been rude, passive aggressive, and generally unlikeable, and not just to me,but to other staff as well. One example of this is how B refused to participate in a baby celebration for a staff member who skipped some entitled leave to return early, but B refused to present the gift on the grounds that the staffer was behind on work. B has a tendency to cover arse ahead of solving issues. (Office gossip says this is B's typical behaviour).
It appears B resents my longtime association with A as well as resenting A. I've seen B attempt to undermine A in meetings with outside stakeholders and not support A in the day-to-day running of the department. It’s the only thing I don’t like about the position, but B has the potential to make my working day unpleasant.
If I don’t take this job, I can have another, in the same building at a higher rate but 4 days a week, for 6 months, doing work that I would not like nearly as much, so I'm not desperate for a job.
What tips can you give me for making a decision about whether to take the job or not? Should I think of working with B as a dealbreaker? And if I do take the job, how do I handle B best?
In my experience, it is rare to have an entirely pleasant work environment; there is always someone who will be a pill, difficult, rude, unruly, etc. However, you "benefit" in the way that B is unpleasant toward a lot of your other colleagues so you do not/should not feel targeted, but develop stronger ties to those other like minded people (which is seems you have accomplished). Keep that up and hopefully you can ignore B all together and continue to work in a job that suits you.
ymmv...
posted by wocka wocka wocka at 5:03 PM on July 2, 2010 [3 favorites]
ymmv...
posted by wocka wocka wocka at 5:03 PM on July 2, 2010 [3 favorites]
My feeling is that this is a great job and you should take it. I don't think B is a dealbreaker but I do think it is smart to plan carefully for dealing with B. And as to that, here is my advice, for what it is worth:
1. Use positive reinforcement only with B. I.e., thank B for behaviors you want to reinforce, be positive about the useful or helpful things B does do, and compliment B when it is merited.
2. Stay away from the gossip that seems to be swirling around B. It is tempting but generally a terrible idea to vent about someone like B. B sounds unhappy and very sensitive to me -- a very common combination. Don't give B cause to resent or fear you by discussing B's shortcomings with coworkers.
3. Don't let B bully you. Being pleasant and using positive reinforcement does not mean you need to be a doormat.
4. Do not discuss B with A. See number 2 above.
Basically, keep your skirts clear of the mess and try to "train" B to behave in ways most convenient for you.
Good luck with what sounds like a fun opportunity.
posted by bearwife at 5:04 PM on July 2, 2010 [6 favorites]
1. Use positive reinforcement only with B. I.e., thank B for behaviors you want to reinforce, be positive about the useful or helpful things B does do, and compliment B when it is merited.
2. Stay away from the gossip that seems to be swirling around B. It is tempting but generally a terrible idea to vent about someone like B. B sounds unhappy and very sensitive to me -- a very common combination. Don't give B cause to resent or fear you by discussing B's shortcomings with coworkers.
3. Don't let B bully you. Being pleasant and using positive reinforcement does not mean you need to be a doormat.
4. Do not discuss B with A. See number 2 above.
Basically, keep your skirts clear of the mess and try to "train" B to behave in ways most convenient for you.
Good luck with what sounds like a fun opportunity.
posted by bearwife at 5:04 PM on July 2, 2010 [6 favorites]
Take the job. Don't overthink it. You survived under B before, you'll survive again.
posted by inturnaround at 5:12 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by inturnaround at 5:12 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
B is going to be at your next job, too. You're never going to outrun them. You might as well enjoy the beach.
posted by amethysts at 5:17 PM on July 2, 2010 [9 favorites]
posted by amethysts at 5:17 PM on July 2, 2010 [9 favorites]
B's tend to move on once they realize no one likes their brand of office demeanor. You'll likely outlast B, so take the job. And be pleasant to B. Like others have said, it is possible to train them. Bite your tongue around the gossips, too. Sounds like a good situation, I'd jump on it.
posted by archivist at 5:46 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by archivist at 5:46 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Great comments above. I'll just add that interpersonal problems are worse when they trigger something in you. You are explaining the problem as "B is unpleasant to everyone," instead of "I may not be good enough for the job because the Deputy has strict, ultra-high standards" (that's my version of B's perfectionism crossed with complementary insecurity on an employee's part). That makes me think you will be able to be detached and strategic about getting through this.
posted by salvia at 6:18 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by salvia at 6:18 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you everyone, this has been really helpful. It's true that there will be difficult people in every working environment, that this is really a once in a lifetime opportunity, and that staying away from gossip, and using positive reinforcement is a really good strategy. I'm sure A will have some helpful strategies. I really think I can make this work.
As best answers for everyone makes it harder to read the thread, I'm going to favourite you all, because you all have very helpful advice.
Thanks again.
posted by b33j at 6:23 PM on July 2, 2010
As best answers for everyone makes it harder to read the thread, I'm going to favourite you all, because you all have very helpful advice.
Thanks again.
posted by b33j at 6:23 PM on July 2, 2010
This is a great opportunity for an excellent adventure. Take the job, and endeavour to go to war with B. You only live once, so live life to the fullest. If it turns out poorly, well, there will always be other jobs, and you will have learned useful things. This sort of conflict makes life worth living.
posted by ovvl at 10:40 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by ovvl at 10:40 PM on July 2, 2010
I really hate to say this, but you might want to try blowing smoke up B's "skirt." I've had good luck with problematic people (especially those with large egos) when I act as if I think they are god's gift to the industry. I feel bad playing that game, but many of them even became helpful to me after a short while of that. It was really odd.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 12:53 AM on July 3, 2010
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 12:53 AM on July 3, 2010
Everyone's probably right about taking the job with B, but with only a 4-day workweek at higher rate for the other job, have you considered making more $ at other job, while using the extra day to create a "side hustle" that could leap you over the job with B in a few months or a year (i.e., replace B or move elsewhere at his level or higher), or increase your job skills significantly?
I could see that free day as part of a long weekend that could be spent working on things you love that aren't necessarily job-related, too.
-- Just food for thought.
posted by mdiskin at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2010
I could see that free day as part of a long weekend that could be spent working on things you love that aren't necessarily job-related, too.
-- Just food for thought.
posted by mdiskin at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2010
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posted by Leon at 5:01 PM on July 2, 2010 [1 favorite]