Finding a lost brother
July 2, 2010 1:10 PM Subscribe
I’m looking for a long lost (maybe 35 years now) brother to inform him of a death in the family. However, all I really have is his name and the city he lived in as of earlier this year. No address. No phone number. He has zero web presence – even the people search engines couldn’t find him. I’m at a loss for what to do next. I could hire a PI, but that can run into serious money.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
You could take out a small (probably free or very cheap) ad in the local paper of the city he was last known to be in asking for anyone in contact with him to call you.
If you have more time on your hands you could contact the local city paper and ask if they can help you find him in exchange for them getting a sappy story on them helping you re-unite after x years (with standard pic of you two looking nervous). The Seattle times seem to like doing that, I don't know if other ones do.
posted by meepmeow at 1:20 PM on July 2, 2010
If you have more time on your hands you could contact the local city paper and ask if they can help you find him in exchange for them getting a sappy story on them helping you re-unite after x years (with standard pic of you two looking nervous). The Seattle times seem to like doing that, I don't know if other ones do.
posted by meepmeow at 1:20 PM on July 2, 2010
Call the public library in the city you think he might live in. Often the library will have city directories that include people who are not listed in the phone book.
posted by enn at 1:21 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by enn at 1:21 PM on July 2, 2010
I know you said you've used the people search engines, but you didn't say which ones. Pipl is very good and worth a try if you haven't tried it yet.
Also, if you know anything about where he is likely to run into the government, it would be helpful. Is he likely to be arrested? Own land or a car? In a line of work where he needs a license?
If he has any of those there are often specialized online databases from the county you can search, or someone in the county you can call.
If you private message me with the city, I might be able to help you find more resources available.
posted by chris p at 1:25 PM on July 2, 2010
Also, if you know anything about where he is likely to run into the government, it would be helpful. Is he likely to be arrested? Own land or a car? In a line of work where he needs a license?
If he has any of those there are often specialized online databases from the county you can search, or someone in the county you can call.
If you private message me with the city, I might be able to help you find more resources available.
posted by chris p at 1:25 PM on July 2, 2010
Could you email a mod and let them know your/his last location? There are several non-profit groups that do this (most of the ones i know are in the UK, though).
The Salvation Army operates a tracing service internationally. You might also find some useful resources here.
posted by tallus at 1:28 PM on July 2, 2010
The Salvation Army operates a tracing service internationally. You might also find some useful resources here.
posted by tallus at 1:28 PM on July 2, 2010
Perhaps helpful, perhaps not: another really good and free people search engine is zabasearch.
posted by cinemafiend at 1:28 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by cinemafiend at 1:28 PM on July 2, 2010
Actually, you don't even need to private message me. Most of the stuff I would suggest is listed here. Find resources in the state he was last located.
If you still need help, then you are still welcome to PM me.
posted by chris p at 1:35 PM on July 2, 2010
If you still need help, then you are still welcome to PM me.
posted by chris p at 1:35 PM on July 2, 2010
When humane reasons are involved, the IRS may locate and forward letters to individuals. A few examples of cases in which the IRS might assist include:
--To notify someone of a serious illness, imminent death, or death of a close relative
posted by availablelight at 3:29 PM on July 2, 2010 [4 favorites]
--To notify someone of a serious illness, imminent death, or death of a close relative
posted by availablelight at 3:29 PM on July 2, 2010 [4 favorites]
And from the same site linked above:
The Social Security Administration will attempt to forward a letter to a missing person for reasons similar to those mentioned in the IRS section above. There is a $3.00 charge for forwarding letters to inform persons about money or property they may be owed. Humanitarian letters are forwarded free of charge.
FYI, a friend was able to get confirmation from the SSA over the phone that the relative was still alive, before sending the letter to be forwarded.
posted by availablelight at 3:31 PM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
The Social Security Administration will attempt to forward a letter to a missing person for reasons similar to those mentioned in the IRS section above. There is a $3.00 charge for forwarding letters to inform persons about money or property they may be owed. Humanitarian letters are forwarded free of charge.
FYI, a friend was able to get confirmation from the SSA over the phone that the relative was still alive, before sending the letter to be forwarded.
posted by availablelight at 3:31 PM on July 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Do you know what highschool or college he went to? You could try searching for alumnae from the same graduating class on Facebook or LinkedIn or some site like that, and sending private messages to see if any of them might still be in touch.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:57 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:57 PM on July 2, 2010
Many law firms use AccurInt to track down people. Good luck.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 4:15 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 4:15 PM on July 2, 2010
If you believe he may own (rather than rent) property, you might try looking up the property tax database for the city in which he lives, and search there for him.
posted by fings at 8:44 PM on July 2, 2010
posted by fings at 8:44 PM on July 2, 2010
I wrote this spiel planning to mefi mail you. Then I saw you were anon, dammit. I apologise in advance for the tl;dr-ness.
When I was searching for my biological father I had no leads. I knew his childhood hometown and where he lived with my mother until they split up when I was 6 months old, and that was all. (Acrimonious divorce, I didn't tell my mother I was looking. That blew up in my face bigtime, but's that another askme spiel.)
I started seriously searching when I was about 35 but had idly browsed electoral rolls and phone books occasionally when I was younger. All google search terms I tried were fruitless. I vaguely knew he had a military history, but that led nowhere either. The Salvation Army was my next step but they charge a fee (here in Oz anyway) and I was flat broke. In desperation I googled one last time.
The same first result came up: (His Hometown) District Hospital. It was a Saturday night, I'd been out for an early dinner with friends and had downed a few wines. Yep. I rang the hospital.
I explained that my name was Malibu, looking for Malibu's Dad who had been 'lost' for over 30 years, he had grown up in that town and I was searching for leads to contact him. The woman who answered put me on hold for a sec then came back to say 'the family name rings a bell, can I take your name and number, I'll see what I can find out'.
A couple of hours later, a woman from that same small town rang me. Her husband had been working at the hospital (tradesman capacity perhaps? Not nursing-related, anyway... he shouldn't have been at the hospital at that hour as it turned out, it was pure coincidence that he was walking past the nurses desk when I rang) and he had my dad's phone number. He had overhead my call and rang my dad to ask if he wanted me to contact him. The answer was something like 'hell, yes'. So his wife rang me with my dad's phone number.
I would recommend trying vague leads using info you already have. Did your brother have a hobby that you knew of? Was he into woodworking or Star Wars or something that may have a local community? Is there something, anything, that could narrow your search and possibly give a chance of a spectacular coincidence?
Can't hurt to try, and best of luck.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:00 AM on July 4, 2010
When I was searching for my biological father I had no leads. I knew his childhood hometown and where he lived with my mother until they split up when I was 6 months old, and that was all. (Acrimonious divorce, I didn't tell my mother I was looking. That blew up in my face bigtime, but's that another askme spiel.)
I started seriously searching when I was about 35 but had idly browsed electoral rolls and phone books occasionally when I was younger. All google search terms I tried were fruitless. I vaguely knew he had a military history, but that led nowhere either. The Salvation Army was my next step but they charge a fee (here in Oz anyway) and I was flat broke. In desperation I googled one last time.
The same first result came up: (His Hometown) District Hospital. It was a Saturday night, I'd been out for an early dinner with friends and had downed a few wines. Yep. I rang the hospital.
I explained that my name was Malibu, looking for Malibu's Dad who had been 'lost' for over 30 years, he had grown up in that town and I was searching for leads to contact him. The woman who answered put me on hold for a sec then came back to say 'the family name rings a bell, can I take your name and number, I'll see what I can find out'.
A couple of hours later, a woman from that same small town rang me. Her husband had been working at the hospital (tradesman capacity perhaps? Not nursing-related, anyway... he shouldn't have been at the hospital at that hour as it turned out, it was pure coincidence that he was walking past the nurses desk when I rang) and he had my dad's phone number. He had overhead my call and rang my dad to ask if he wanted me to contact him. The answer was something like 'hell, yes'. So his wife rang me with my dad's phone number.
I would recommend trying vague leads using info you already have. Did your brother have a hobby that you knew of? Was he into woodworking or Star Wars or something that may have a local community? Is there something, anything, that could narrow your search and possibly give a chance of a spectacular coincidence?
Can't hurt to try, and best of luck.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:00 AM on July 4, 2010
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posted by availablelight at 1:14 PM on July 2, 2010