It's not that I'm flaky, it's that here isn't right.
July 1, 2010 9:42 AM   Subscribe

What to do about multiple job offers when you've accepted one, and are a special snowflake.

Similar in line to this question but I am bit of a special snowflake, and could really use some advice.

I have been working a job for 2 years now, where I've been working every weekend, have been filling in for someone in a more senior supervisory role for the last year and a half at least 2 days a week. This person has made my life miserable, emailed any mistake I made to senior management, and would lash out at me for personal issues. This person went out on medical leave, and I'd been filling in the role full time. They've now extended to 6 months of leave, and I was told that they are holding open the position and that until she says she doesn't want the job, consideration will not be made to make it available to me, despite stellar performance reviews, and a huge cleanup on my end of this very important role.

This led me to feel horribly depressed and realize that this was not a place I could work long term. I threw my resume out, and got a number of calls back, and had several interviews. I interviewed for and got a very good position, which I accepted, local to me. I just got a call back about an interview I'd had earlier, looking for a much more senior position in a field I'd prefer to be in, for over twice the money of the position I had accepted. I would normally just leave it, but the position is in the city where my father lives. He is recovering from cancer, and his wife just had a very catastrophic medical issue that she will never fully recover from. My brother just moved away from the area, and I have been worrying about the lack of family support for my father.

Is there a tactful way to leave the job I took to take something that would both advance my career more and give me the opportunity to be local support to my dad?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (10 answers total)
"Thank you for offering me this position. I was really looking forward to working with your team. I have decided that I need to move back to xxx as soon as possible as there have been some medical issues arise in my family, and I wish to be closer to provide support. Thank you again for asking me fill the role of xxx. I hope we will get the chance to work together in the future."
posted by Abbril at 9:50 AM on July 1, 2010 [4 favorites]

When I was in a hiring capacity I would have completely understood if someone came to me and said "Look, I really feel bad about this, but an opportunity turned up that is much closer to my father, who is ill, and I feel that I need to take this to help out"

posted by FlamingBore at 9:51 AM on July 1, 2010 [5 favorites]

"I'm sorry, but I got a better offer."

You're making it more snowflakey than it is. It's business, it's not personal. Their business is making widgets or whatever; your business is supporting yourself. You got a better offer that will improve your business. You'd be a fool not to take it.

And this sort of thing happens all the time. They won't take it personally or be horrified. Or if they do, you wouldn't have wanted to work there anyway.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:52 AM on July 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes, you tell the job you're leaving that you received an offer that you just can't refuse for the reasons you stated above and then give at least 2 weeks notice. If you are still quite new and training at the current company they may not want you to stick around for 2 more weeks, but give them the option. I know this feels very personal to you but (especially if this is a company of any size) it isn't to them. They can handle it, just be professional.

Are there non-tactful ways to handle this? Of course but the fact that you are worried about it means you probably won't do those things.
posted by magnetsphere at 9:55 AM on July 1, 2010

Agreeing with the above, and saying that Happy Dave's answer to the other question applies here. Clarify that you weren't using them as a bartering chip in your other job opportunity.

On second thought, simply stating you had an offer for a position that is closer to family who are in need of family support should be good enough. Don't complicate the message.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:10 AM on July 1, 2010

"It's not you, it's me."

Just make it clear that you being unable to take the job is only due to a sudden change in personal circumstances and nothing to do with the role, conditions, money etc

As MexicanYenta says, this is business, it happens.
posted by jontyjago at 10:20 AM on July 1, 2010

This is a pretty good time to have this problem - some years that might have trouble finding someone else, but right now the market is over-flowing with people looking for work.

If you are honest and tactful - they will understand,
posted by Flood at 10:24 AM on July 1, 2010

I have been at companies when people did this. It was very annoying. And there is nothing you can say to make it less annoying. And we forgot about it about a week later.

So just take the job you want and don't worry about it too much.
posted by GuyZero at 11:15 AM on July 1, 2010

Go for the new offer! I'm sure the place you're at now has back up candidates. Have you even started at that place? Don't put the "needs" of the company ahead of your own. The new offer sounds fantastic.
posted by parakeetdog at 12:37 PM on July 1, 2010

Abbril +1. Yup, they'll hate you for two weeks then forget you ever existed. And you'll feel smart in a couple months.
posted by zvs at 1:15 PM on July 1, 2010

« Older Montreal this weekend!?   |   elderly man seeks birds, will love unconditionally... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.