Please complete this joke about psychiatrists
June 27, 2010 12:59 PM   Subscribe

Please complete this joke: A guy goes a psychiatrist. He doesn't say anything during the entire hour. He comes back a week later. Neither one of them says anything. He comes back a third time. Silence right up to the end. Finally, he says . . . something. The psychiatrist responds. And that brings us to the punchline. Which is hilarious. . . I'm sure.

Thank you. I have no doubt that AskMe will be all over this question. I've just read as many google results for "psychiatrist joke" as I can.
posted by stuart_s to Society & Culture (9 answers total)
This is the joke that appears in a scene like what you describe in Good Will Hunting. Will goes back to the psychologist (Robin Williams) 3 times and tells this joke at the end of the 3rd visit.

Not sure this is what you're thinking, though...
posted by BlooPen at 1:09 PM on June 27, 2010

In the joke that I'm looking for, the exchange that finally occurs between the psychiatrist and the patient doesn't involve telling a joke. That is, there's no joke within the joke. Or joke within the movie, etc. . .

Thank you anyway.
posted by stuart_s at 1:58 PM on June 27, 2010

A man who suddenly lost the ability to speak was referred to a psychiatrist.

In their first session the man remained unable to speak. The psychiatrist, at his reflective best, refused to speak first. The two stared silently at each other for the full 50 minutes. At the end of the period the man paid the $150 fee and left.

The same thing happens in the second session yadda yadda yadda

In their third session the client remained silent, but he had improved enough to eke out a few words in a hoarse whisper. At the end of the session, as he was reaching for his checkbook, he rasped out, "Dr., may I ask you a question?"

"You want to ask me a question?" the psychiatrist replied.

"Yeah," responded the client, "would you consider taking me on as a partner?"
posted by carmicha at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Aha! Thanks. It's nice to get to press the "resolved" button. How long has that been there?

One hour? Not bad, but I was beginning to worry. I expected it to take just a few minutes.

I don't remember the part where the patient actually lost the ability to speak. I think the joke works just as well if you construct it so that the patient is simply too nervous.

Anyway, thanks again.
posted by stuart_s at 2:20 PM on June 27, 2010

Feeble response:

MAN: "Did you just say something?"

PSY: "No."

MAN: "That's what I thought."
posted by hexatron at 2:24 PM on June 27, 2010

Second best hundred dollars I ever spent.
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:28 PM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

So after the setup on the third visit the man says
and the doc says
"Not yet"
posted by bhdad at 3:11 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

In a similar vein:

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
posted by CathyG at 4:59 PM on June 27, 2010 [10 favorites]

Stuart_s-- Thanks for the best answer nod. To your follow-up point, I think having the guy be too nervous to speak creates a characterization consistency issue because such a milquetoast wouldn't have the guts or self-possession to ask to be taken on as a partner.
posted by carmicha at 6:17 AM on June 28, 2010

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