D I V O R V C E
June 25, 2010 8:38 AM Subscribe
During a period of insanity, I got married in the early 90s while living in the UK. I am an Australian citizen, and I married a Brit. A short time later, our relationship had burnt itself out, and ended somewhat acrimoniously. As we had very few shared assets, we just walked away from each other & lost contact.
Shortly after our marriage, we met a group of people who my spouse became very involved with, and they all got involved in heavy drug use. A few years after we split, I heard a rumour that my spouse was in prison in drugs charges.
I have no idea what type of person my spouse has become, and I have no desire to have contact whatsoever with them. They might even be dead for all I know, from an overdose or some misadventure. I would however like a divorce.
How do I, an Australian citizen living in Australia, initiate divorce proceedings against a British citizen living in Great Britain?
Do I hire a lawyer here or over there? I assume they hire a private investigator to locate my spouse?
Surely they couldn't contest the divorce?
Could they make any claim on my assets?
Will my spouse learn of my whereabouts and contact details though any proceedings? I am nervous that my spouse might hold some ill will against me (on the other hand, they might be thrilled to be tying up these loose ends too).
I'm happy to cover all costs, i just want to be free of this situation.
Could they have divorced me sometime in the last 2 decades without me being aware of it?
Is there anything else i need to think about?
Throwaway email: tildivorcedouspart@gmail.com
Shortly after our marriage, we met a group of people who my spouse became very involved with, and they all got involved in heavy drug use. A few years after we split, I heard a rumour that my spouse was in prison in drugs charges.
I have no idea what type of person my spouse has become, and I have no desire to have contact whatsoever with them. They might even be dead for all I know, from an overdose or some misadventure. I would however like a divorce.
How do I, an Australian citizen living in Australia, initiate divorce proceedings against a British citizen living in Great Britain?
Do I hire a lawyer here or over there? I assume they hire a private investigator to locate my spouse?
Surely they couldn't contest the divorce?
Could they make any claim on my assets?
Will my spouse learn of my whereabouts and contact details though any proceedings? I am nervous that my spouse might hold some ill will against me (on the other hand, they might be thrilled to be tying up these loose ends too).
I'm happy to cover all costs, i just want to be free of this situation.
Could they have divorced me sometime in the last 2 decades without me being aware of it?
Is there anything else i need to think about?
Throwaway email: tildivorcedouspart@gmail.com
your wife
Not to besmirch your otherwise good advice, Mr. Excellent, but the poster's wording is deliberately gender neutral.
posted by hot soup girl at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2010
Not to besmirch your otherwise good advice, Mr. Excellent, but the poster's wording is deliberately gender neutral.
posted by hot soup girl at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2010
Your spouse could have divorced you on grounds of desertion after 2 years, if you left without consent. More straightforwardly, after 5 years they could divorce you just on grounds of separation without needing your agreement. You can contact the divorce registrar, with as much details about the marriage as you can, to find if there has been a divorce. Apparently they will charge a fee. I suggest you read the HM Courts leaflets on the process for basic info on divorce in the UK.
If a spouse has gone missing, the party petitioning for divorce may have to swear an affadavit outlining what steps they've taken to trace them and serve the petition.
However, it may be simpler for you to divorce in Australia if you can. Generally speaking, an "overseas divorce" should be recognised by the UK courts, if that becomes an issue.
posted by wilko at 2:17 PM on June 25, 2010
If a spouse has gone missing, the party petitioning for divorce may have to swear an affadavit outlining what steps they've taken to trace them and serve the petition.
However, it may be simpler for you to divorce in Australia if you can. Generally speaking, an "overseas divorce" should be recognised by the UK courts, if that becomes an issue.
posted by wilko at 2:17 PM on June 25, 2010
Yes, do it, whatever it might cost, however complicated it might seem.
My first wife and I didn't get around to getting a formal divorce until several years after separation, as we simply didn't have the money required. In the meantime, she had a daughter by somebody else. Fast forward a coupla decades. When that child grew up and applied for a passport, she discovered by pure chance that she was regarded legally as my daughter, because her mother and I had still not divorced by the time she was conceived and born. I had to go through frantic weeks of legal misery to detach myself from this child, not that I had anything against her, but I didn't want her competing with my real son (from my second marriage) about any inheritance I might leave to him one day. I also didn't want to be responsible for the financial upkeep of this total stranger. To add to the complication, all of the people concerned were living in one country, while the failed first marriage had been registered where we had lived in another. And it turned out that we had only three weeks to complete the legalese before the daugher came of age and the situation was cast in concrete. Fortunately we were all pulling together in the same direction, as the daughter had no more wish to have me as a "father" than I had to have her as a "daughter".
It cost me, but not nearly as much cash as I had feared, just a lot of fear and hassle I could so simply have avoided.
Good luck.
posted by aqsakal at 2:56 AM on June 26, 2010
My first wife and I didn't get around to getting a formal divorce until several years after separation, as we simply didn't have the money required. In the meantime, she had a daughter by somebody else. Fast forward a coupla decades. When that child grew up and applied for a passport, she discovered by pure chance that she was regarded legally as my daughter, because her mother and I had still not divorced by the time she was conceived and born. I had to go through frantic weeks of legal misery to detach myself from this child, not that I had anything against her, but I didn't want her competing with my real son (from my second marriage) about any inheritance I might leave to him one day. I also didn't want to be responsible for the financial upkeep of this total stranger. To add to the complication, all of the people concerned were living in one country, while the failed first marriage had been registered where we had lived in another. And it turned out that we had only three weeks to complete the legalese before the daugher came of age and the situation was cast in concrete. Fortunately we were all pulling together in the same direction, as the daughter had no more wish to have me as a "father" than I had to have her as a "daughter".
It cost me, but not nearly as much cash as I had feared, just a lot of fear and hassle I could so simply have avoided.
Good luck.
posted by aqsakal at 2:56 AM on June 26, 2010
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That said - I highly recommend hiring a lawyer immediately. An Australian lawyer would probably be much easier than hiring one in the UK, and should be able to advise you if you need UK counsel.
"Walking away" from any legal committment - a labor contract, a mortgage, a marriage, whatever - is never, ever a good idea. The idea that "no news is good news" and that you'll hear about it if there's a problem is oftentimes just flat wrong. It is possible, though unlikley, that you *were* divorced - that your wife tried, and failed, to serve process on you, and that a divorce order was entered in your absence when you failed to reply. It's even possible that you have obligations under this order - alimony, for example - that you are not aware of.
I don't mean to frighten you, and I want to emphasize that I don't practice family law, and have no real idea how these things work in the UK. However, I do believe that you should really, really talk to a lawyer - sooner rather than later.
posted by Mr. Excellent at 8:48 AM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]