"There's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.”
June 11, 2010 3:21 PM   Subscribe

What are memorable phrases that reinforce the idea that you should suck it up and play nice? I'm thinking of this line from Tomato Nation: "Rudeness is not a signifier of your importance. Rudeness is a signifier of itself, nothing more. We all have bad days; yours is not weightier than anyone else's, comparatively, and does not excuse displays of poor breeding. Be civil or be elsewhere."

I'm not so much interested in compassion-reminder phrases, which were previously and thoroughly discussed in the green, but rather things along the line of "there are other people in the world even when you feel self-centered; please behave accordingly." Thanks!
posted by verbyournouns to Human Relations (27 answers total) 44 users marked this as a favorite
"Act like an adult."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:25 PM on June 11, 2010

Carnegie Mellon University summed up the entire reasonable person principle with regards to academic IT in four bullet points, which were often part of the MOTD on campus servers:

* Everyone will be reasonable.
* Everyone expects everyone else to be reasonable.
* No one is special.
* Do not be offended if someone suggests you are not being reasonable.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 3:28 PM on June 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

Here is my personal contribution. In the short term it is always more satisfying to tell people off and to be intolerant of foolishness or other failings. In the long term, doing that will often have unwanted consequences. So think about the consequences of what you do.
posted by grizzled at 3:31 PM on June 11, 2010

"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind." -- Kurt Vonnegut
posted by phelixshu at 3:41 PM on June 11, 2010 [28 favorites]

From Ani Difranco "Pixie"

Maybe you don't like your job
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep
Well, nobody likes their job
Nobody got enough sleep
Maybe you just had
The worst day of your life
But, you know, there's no escape
And there's no excuse
So just suck up and be nice
posted by mearls at 3:48 PM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Just deal with it.
posted by Danf at 3:49 PM on June 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

"If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." -mom
posted by SLC Mom at 4:05 PM on June 11, 2010

SLC Mom: ""If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." -mom"

I was coming in to say the very same thing. I would only add that I would attribute it to Thumper's mom.
posted by barnacles at 4:11 PM on June 11, 2010

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
posted by lohmannn at 4:20 PM on June 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Barnacles: No. Mom hated that movie.

Oh wait, that probably wasn't very nice. Pretend I didn't say it.
posted by SLC Mom at 4:20 PM on June 11, 2010

I am a great fan of "Is this the hill you want to die on?"
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:46 PM on June 11, 2010 [13 favorites]

Be nice or leave.
posted by St. Sorryass at 4:51 PM on June 11, 2010

"Fight nice." -nana
posted by headnsouth at 4:58 PM on June 11, 2010

My cranky and argument-prone family had Calvin Coolidge's nihilistic remark, "No necessity exists for becoming excited" pasted up on the kitchen wall as a talisman against rudeness and strife.
posted by bubukaba at 4:58 PM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Face it, you are not a Special Snowflake.
posted by bearwife at 5:01 PM on June 11, 2010

I wish I could remember the exact quote or the provenance, but I can't:

"Just because you're miserable today doesn't give you the right to make anyone else that way."
posted by bricoleur at 5:01 PM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

You know, 'The Box' and 'Adults' are the two things that the people who understand them the least talk about the most. ("Think outside the box" is always said by those who are locked in the box; "Be adult" is said oftem by whining people - could just be my take on things.)

I like: "Deal." (sans emotion), and "Freedom requires the protection of those we don't like." (Don't know who said either first: I've said them both a lot (maybe at times that I'm whining.).)
posted by Some1 at 5:02 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Being an asshole doesn't give you a right to shit on people.
posted by phelixshu at 5:07 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Making everyone around you miserable and pissed at you is unlikely to improve your situation any.
-- Me
posted by ctmf at 5:09 PM on June 11, 2010

"Handsome is as handsome does."
-- Forrest Gump
posted by kidelo at 5:37 PM on June 11, 2010

This is one of those passive-aggressive signs people hang over their desk, and I usually hate those signs ("Answers $1. Correct Answers: $2." Ha haaaaa).

But this one hit home for me, because I'm usually on the verge of being rude or demanding when I'm rushed, which is usually because I planned poorly or made a bad decisions somewhere along the line, and it reminds me that it's my own problem:

"Your poor planning is not our emergency."
posted by salvia at 6:14 PM on June 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

"Please stop the asshattery."
posted by contrariwise at 6:20 PM on June 11, 2010

"Don't be a dick." --Wil Wheaton
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:36 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life."

From The Weather Man, by Michael Caine.

I love that movie.
posted by jstarlee at 10:18 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Pick your battles."

Applicable to both self and others.
posted by quadog at 11:20 PM on June 11, 2010

Buckaroo Banzai: Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:34 AM on June 12, 2010

From Harvey:

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be," — she always called me Elwood — "In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
posted by danceswithlight at 4:45 AM on June 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

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