...but don't call it Charm School

May 3, 2010 7:41 AM

"Charm School" and "Finishing School" searches only seem to pick up negatively-charged uses of the name, from its quaint anachronism, to porn, to 'Flavor of Love' spinoffs...but they must still exist in some capacity, right?

I think we've run across one aspect of their successors. This weekend, with my 14-year-old daughter, we attended a Barbazon presentation at my daughter's request. We knew it was going to push us to sign our daughter up for classes, and my daughter understood that as well, so there was no discomfort or surprise when they got to the hard sell. One thing that did surprise us was the lack of "we'll make your kid a STAR!" Instead, the whole selling point is the program's emphasis on poise, self-confidence, excellence, and hard work. It really sounded like the selling point of a 'finishing school' program, rather than a modelling or acting career program.

For a couple reasons Barbazon is probably not going to work out, but my daughter really liked the idea of the combination of fashion and self-confidence, and the positive attitude of the program, so we'd like to find something similar. Is there anything else that fits the definition of a program that teaches young women poise, confidence, culture and custom, etiquette, and style, even if it's not called a charm school?

posted by AzraelBrown to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (8 answers total)

For adults, it's now called "image consulting" and it's more likely to be one on one than classes. But it covers all that stuff: posture, diction, controlled facial expressions, personal style and grooming, publications to read/skim so you can sound aware and cultivated. I think for teens, it's wrapped into the college admissions consulting industry, but I don't know for sure.
posted by crush-onastick at 7:50 AM on May 3, 2010

I went to a (scary) high school for upper-class rich kids, and a lot of the kids there did "dancing classes," which I think were designed to prepare you for your debutante ball. (They were not called debutante balls, and almost no one I know did the actual debutante thing, but the dancing classes were fairly popular.) I think they were by invitation only, and you had to be the Right Sort of Person, but I think they did learn etiquette and that kind of thing. Maybe there's something similar that isn't so exclusive?

Otherwise, I'm pretty sure that I've seen articles in various places about etiquette classes for teenagers. I would google "etiquette classes" and your location and see what comes up.

I'm wondering if something like Key Club might also provide some similar opportunities.
posted by craichead at 7:59 AM on May 3, 2010

On its own, this was called etiquette class where I grew up, but most girls who did something like this were doing it in connection with cotillion (a kind of debutante ball).
posted by ocherdraco at 8:19 AM on May 3, 2010

You may want to look for Cotillion Classes. There may be a larger emphasis on dance than she's looking for, but etiquette and being comfortable in social settings is the focus.
posted by korej at 8:26 AM on May 3, 2010

I would suggest cotillion. Some are very involved and end up like debutante presentations, but some are just there to practice social skills and etiquette, plus teach kids how to dance (which is a nice social skill to have). You learn how to relate to others, make small talk, make people feel comfortable--which, of course, is a major component of etiquette.

Another suggestion I have is to try a sport like golf or tennis. Golf seems especially good--it is a good life skill to have because you can play it at almost any age and fitness level, and it's commonly used as a recreational activity in business situations.

In either cotillion or golf/tennis, you do have a fashion and presentation aspect to it, too.
posted by FergieBelle at 8:27 AM on May 3, 2010

In either cotillion or golf/tennis, you do have a fashion and presentation aspect to it, too.

I think equitation would fit in here, as well.
posted by jgirl at 8:32 AM on May 3, 2010

There are several etiquette classes in my area where they do that kind of thing, for kids as young as four all the way up through adults. Cotillion and "dance assembly" also still exist in a lot of places, where you learn some etiquette within the structure of ballroom dance classes. Google is the way to go.

And if such a thing doesn't exist near you, I'm sure you could start one!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:35 AM on May 3, 2010

My sister attended classes in Virginia Beach at a finishing school. It actually might have been labeled as a modeling school, but she learned everything from how to properly set the table to how to put on the correct shade of foundation to how to introduce strangers. She loved it. I don't recall the name of it, but perhaps looking into modeling schools might give you another avenue as well.
posted by shesaysgo at 12:17 PM on May 3, 2010