Read the card/handout/hand
April 3, 2010 2:05 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for anecdotes about cases in which a person got so tired of answering certain questions that they prepared a card or handout with the answers. Probably a celebrity or famous academic. maybe some athlete who got tired of answering the same questions. Barry Bonds? This ring a bell with anyone? thanks.
It isn't uncommon for people with disabilities such as hearing loss or autism to hand out cards to sales people and others to quickly explain their situation and how to best help them.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 2:23 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 2:23 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
My coworker at a retail store had a name tag that said "Bill, 6'7".
posted by iamkimiam at 2:26 PM on April 3, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 2:26 PM on April 3, 2010 [4 favorites]
I remember reading about some injured baseball player who did post a list of answers on his locker like
"No I don't know when I'll be back"
"No it doesn't hurt"
But my googlefu is not finding it.
I did find this list of stock responses by Don Carman to reporters inane questions.
posted by cali59 at 2:27 PM on April 3, 2010
"No I don't know when I'll be back"
"No it doesn't hurt"
But my googlefu is not finding it.
I did find this list of stock responses by Don Carman to reporters inane questions.
posted by cali59 at 2:27 PM on April 3, 2010
I do this. As a parent of children with autism and a professional working in the field as well, many parents contact me for information about effective interventions, advocacy or funding for their children. I have prepared what is mostly a prepared set of responses that I use as a template to respond to their specific situations or query.
posted by kch at 2:32 PM on April 3, 2010
posted by kch at 2:32 PM on April 3, 2010
Nobel laureate Francis Crick (co-discoverer of the double helix structure of DNA) had this reply card (PDF) made for responding to invitations.
posted by grouse at 2:35 PM on April 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by grouse at 2:35 PM on April 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
The Davis Museum collection (@ Wellesley College) includes Adrian Piper's work. She has a calling card that she would hand out, which says:
Dear Friend,
I am black.
I am sure you did not realize this when you made/laughed at/agreed with that racist remark. In the past, I have attempted to alert white people to my racial identity in advance. Unfortunately, this invariably causes them to react to me as pushy, manipulative, or socially inappropriate. Therefore, my policy is to assume that white people do not make these remarks, even when they believe there are no black people present, and to distribute this card when they do.
I regret any discomfort my presence is causing you, just as I am sure you regret the discomfort your racism is causing me.
There is a small stack of these cards, from which visitors are free to take a copy. I have one myself. The article linked above is a good read.
posted by hellomina at 2:35 PM on April 3, 2010 [12 favorites]
Dear Friend,
I am black.
I am sure you did not realize this when you made/laughed at/agreed with that racist remark. In the past, I have attempted to alert white people to my racial identity in advance. Unfortunately, this invariably causes them to react to me as pushy, manipulative, or socially inappropriate. Therefore, my policy is to assume that white people do not make these remarks, even when they believe there are no black people present, and to distribute this card when they do.
I regret any discomfort my presence is causing you, just as I am sure you regret the discomfort your racism is causing me.
There is a small stack of these cards, from which visitors are free to take a copy. I have one myself. The article linked above is a good read.
posted by hellomina at 2:35 PM on April 3, 2010 [12 favorites]
I saw a woman in a homemade air-filtration helmet once.
She had a sign on the back that explained, in a few lines, her extreme allergy problem and added, "Yes, it gets hot in here, but I rather wear it and be able to go out than have to stay home all the time."
posted by SLC Mom at 2:38 PM on April 3, 2010
She had a sign on the back that explained, in a few lines, her extreme allergy problem and added, "Yes, it gets hot in here, but I rather wear it and be able to go out than have to stay home all the time."
posted by SLC Mom at 2:38 PM on April 3, 2010
Doesn't every website do this? Is this not the exact definition of a FAQ?
posted by cgg at 2:42 PM on April 3, 2010
posted by cgg at 2:42 PM on April 3, 2010
The card Steve Martin hands out when people ask him for an autograph.
posted by Crotalus at 2:53 PM on April 3, 2010 [14 favorites]
posted by Crotalus at 2:53 PM on April 3, 2010 [14 favorites]
I read a book once where a man who was slowly losing his voice wrote down words on a notebook and, when he ran out of pages, simply re-used them for different scenarios. It read something like, "Thank you," "I don't want any," "Ha ha ha!".
In the end a woman proposed to him... I can't remember the title though. Ring a bell with anyone?
posted by biochemist at 3:01 PM on April 3, 2010
In the end a woman proposed to him... I can't remember the title though. Ring a bell with anyone?
posted by biochemist at 3:01 PM on April 3, 2010
I have an identical twin brother. We worked together at a restaurant for three years. On busy nights it was common to get ten to twenty questions an hour. I prepared an FAQ card to hand out so I could spend time doing work instead of fielding questions about whether we played tricks on our teachers (never) or girlfriends (even neverer). I didn't mind talking to my own tables about these things if I wasn't busy, but if somebody else's table started to flag me down, I'd lay the card on the table and walk away, saying, "your server will be right with you."
posted by The Potate at 3:06 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Potate at 3:06 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
George Bernard Shaw had a series of postcards with pre-printed responses to standard questions. This page illustrates two of them, including his response to requests for his autograph:
It may interest collectors of autographs to know that Mr Bernard Shaw does not regard requests by strangers for his signature as legitimate collecting. He signs enough genuine documents every day to give collectors ample material for the proper exercise of their peculiar industry. His secretary has instructions to return all albums and refuse all applications which ignore this distinction.
posted by verstegan at 3:08 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
It may interest collectors of autographs to know that Mr Bernard Shaw does not regard requests by strangers for his signature as legitimate collecting. He signs enough genuine documents every day to give collectors ample material for the proper exercise of their peculiar industry. His secretary has instructions to return all albums and refuse all applications which ignore this distinction.
posted by verstegan at 3:08 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
When I went to the Vatican a little old Italian priest had directions to the Sistine Chapel on a card in his wallet. I don't know whether that was just because he was sick of people asking or if he didn't speak english and was sick of people asking.
posted by missmagenta at 3:15 PM on April 3, 2010
posted by missmagenta at 3:15 PM on April 3, 2010
biochemist: Jonathan Safran, Everything is Illuminated.
posted by jacalata at 3:37 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by jacalata at 3:37 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
I was behind a car yesterday, big sign in the back window said "New Car! Stick Shift! Stay Back!"
posted by HuronBob at 4:00 PM on April 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 4:00 PM on April 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
There's this little ditty by the guy who played Biff in Back to the Future, a rundown of questions he is often asked about BttF.
posted by illenion at 4:26 PM on April 3, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by illenion at 4:26 PM on April 3, 2010 [5 favorites]
I live in the Deep South. I am an Agnostic. I have a stack of these to give out to the more zealous Christians who try to save me when they find out I'm not of the faith. I know it's not quite the same, but I've found that it gets them out of my hair.
I wish I'd thought of a card about answering "twin" questions growing up - oh, the time it would have saved!
I use to have a deaf friend that had a card explaining they were deaf and they could read lips.
posted by patheral at 4:31 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
I wish I'd thought of a card about answering "twin" questions growing up - oh, the time it would have saved!
I use to have a deaf friend that had a card explaining they were deaf and they could read lips.
posted by patheral at 4:31 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Paul Wolfskehl endowed a prize at the University of Gottingen to be awarded for the solution of Fermat's Last Theorem. Unfortunately this attracted so many cranks that Edmund Landau (who was at the time in charge of adminstering the prize) used to pass the putative proofs to his students along with a stack of reply cards to fill in reading "Dear _____. Thank you for your solution to Fermat's Last Theorem. The first mistake occurs on page ___, line ___." (The Music of the Primes, Marcus du Sautoy.)
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:48 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:48 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
biochemist, that book sounds a bit like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.
posted by reegmo at 6:48 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by reegmo at 6:48 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
When I was in 7th grade we had an assignment to write a letter to an author we liked. I had recently read and seen 2001, so I wrote Arthur C. Clarke. Among other things, I asked him what the space baby was going to do when it got back to Earth at the end of the book/movie.
His reply was a form letter very similar to the Heinlein letter that razorian linked to above, but with the different answers to common questions numbered. He did sign it and scribble at the bottom "He was going to destroy the bombs". I wish that I still had the letter !
posted by rfs at 7:17 PM on April 3, 2010 [4 favorites]
His reply was a form letter very similar to the Heinlein letter that razorian linked to above, but with the different answers to common questions numbered. He did sign it and scribble at the bottom "He was going to destroy the bombs". I wish that I still had the letter !
posted by rfs at 7:17 PM on April 3, 2010 [4 favorites]
My friend Manny, aka DJ M3 in San Francisco, runs a night called "no fucking requests ever!" and has gear for sale that says the same. He's sold out right now but I have one of their buttons/pins and I wear it regularly when I go out dancing.
It's crazy how many people have asked for it, but no WAY am I giving it up. Interrupting a mix to request some shit you hear everyday on the radio is only second to a drunk person ass-bumping the table and making the record skip in terms of being the gauche asshole who ruins the party (RIP, vinyl and needles skipping).
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:00 PM on April 3, 2010
It's crazy how many people have asked for it, but no WAY am I giving it up. Interrupting a mix to request some shit you hear everyday on the radio is only second to a drunk person ass-bumping the table and making the record skip in terms of being the gauche asshole who ruins the party (RIP, vinyl and needles skipping).
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:00 PM on April 3, 2010
Edmund Wilson had this nice all-purpose letter to reject requests.
posted by Jasper Fnorde at 9:20 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Jasper Fnorde at 9:20 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Neal Stephenson: Why I am a Bad Correspondent
When people ignored that explanation and sent him more mail anyway, he added this
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:45 AM on April 4, 2010
When people ignored that explanation and sent him more mail anyway, he added this
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:45 AM on April 4, 2010
Do fictional characters count? This scene from a recent episode of 30 Rock might fit.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:50 PM on April 5, 2010
posted by MegoSteve at 7:50 PM on April 5, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by razorian at 2:21 PM on April 3, 2010 [10 favorites]