Cleanliness is next to godliness. So, one who's good with sex related cleanliness is very nearly a sex god, right?
March 26, 2010 8:48 AM   Subscribe

A couple questions (his n' hers) regarding sex-related cleanliness.

1. Spiffy balls for blowjobs: I think my boyfriend might have the same issue with yeast that this guy describes, but very mildly—in fact it's not so much that there's a smell, but rather that his balls taste a little yeasty in a way that's kind of unpleasant. Add to that their general hairiness, and I just don't find myself using my mouth on them as much as I'd like to. I'd like to give him some regular grooming guidelines for balls and taint that will make things more pleasant for me to go down on him. What should I tell him to do, and what's the best way to bring it up so that it's more "yay! more and better sexy sex for you!" and less "your balls have issues"?

2. Boobage breakouts: One of the more common elements of our sexual repertoire is tittyfucking.* Despite my best efforts at post-sex skincare (which, admittedly, is usually several hours after sex, since we most often have sex right before going to sleep), I'm getting breakouts on my sternum where he rubs against it. Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening?

*Hate that word, but that's what it's called. For bonus points: is there a more aesthetically pleasing name for this act?
posted by anonysex to Health & Fitness (29 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

I don't have advice for #2, but for #1, I've found that telling my guy, "You should shave your balls so I can suck on them tonight," to be VERY effective. Bonus points if you tell him this in the morning, so he can stay boner-fied all day.

posted by scarykarrey at 9:00 AM on March 26, 2010 [13 favorites]

1. "I'd really appreciate it if you did this thing for me so I can have more fun going down on you." As for what to ask him to do, specifically, I'll leave that to people who're on the other side of the, uh, equation.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:03 AM on March 26, 2010

2. Allergic reaction?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:18 AM on March 26, 2010

Response by poster: Nope, not an allergic reaction. Just pimples.
posted by anonysex at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2010

Are you using any kind of lotion or lube for #2? That might be one of the causes. Perhaps switch brands. Or keep a damp washcloth nearby and use that to wipe up afterwards.
posted by amicamentis at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2010

For bonus points: is there a more aesthetically pleasing name for this act?

Just as anal sex is referred to as Greek, I've heard this type referred to as Russian (and between the butt-checks, Italian).
posted by Rash at 9:33 AM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Yup, lube is definitely involved. The damp washcloth idea is a good one. Maybe moist towelettes?

Regarding ball shaving: it seems like kind of a lot to ask. Would most guys balk at the suggestion, or would the prospect of more and better sex make it not a big deal?
posted by anonysex at 9:36 AM on March 26, 2010

Response by poster: Just as anal sex is referred to as Greek, I've heard this type referred to as Russian (and between the butt-checks, Italian). (Rash)

Someone else suggested "Swedish" through MeMail. Bork bork bork.
posted by anonysex at 9:37 AM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

If a girl asked me to shave my balls in order for her to suck them....I'd make sure to ask her just how often she would want me to shave....and probably I'd double that amount on my own...
posted by The1andonly at 9:44 AM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

is there a more aesthetically pleasing name for this act?

The Bombay Roll.

Do not ask me how I know this.
posted by essexjan at 9:46 AM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

I dont think asking him to shave his boys too much to ask. Just takes a little time and a lot of careful trimming for a big pay off. Just ask :p and like other said, be sure to give him a reason. More than likely he will not refuse. You could always do it for him?
posted by NotSoSimple at 10:09 AM on March 26, 2010

It doesn't matter if most guys would, if your guy does then deal with that, if he doesn't, yay.

For what it's worth, I'd try trimming first, just to see if that's helpful enough. I have no idea how guys trim that area, maybe some sort of electrical trimmer is involved? The same way they trim (or don't) their beards. If it's not helpful enough, then I guess shaving is in the cards. Or waxing...!

About your breasts, if you want, you can keep a bottle of water and a washcloth next to your bed, cheaper than wet wipes, and personally, I hate the smell of wet wipes.
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 10:11 AM on March 26, 2010

Trimming is good. Just asking him to shampoo his balls and also condition them might help, too--it will soften the hair and make it less icky.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:17 AM on March 26, 2010

Tell him "Shaved balls get enthusiastic of oral attention".

Worked on me.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:19 AM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Here's your next birthday gift to your boyfriend. (SFW)
posted by desjardins at 10:31 AM on March 26, 2010

ball shaving is not that difficult... try the noxema mini disposable razors (perfect for this area on men/women)!

Dryshaving carefully (depending upon thickness of hairs) should work for him, err, I should say more specifically, works for me anyway.

It's the least that one can do (as a guy) for increased attention!

Bonus for me (though maybe not for y'all) this way I don't feel bad asking her to shave for the same-ish reason (actually more simply about hair for me).


have fun... definitely approaching it from the "I wonder if you could .... that way I could... more often?" should produce positive response!
posted by Jiff_and_theChoosyMuthers at 10:54 AM on March 26, 2010

As far as #1, I just approached the husband one day and said "hey, it would be kind of hot if you let me shave your balls for you, are you up for that?" He was. Because I was doing it purely for the 'adventure' of it, and not to solve a problem, I just raised it as a fun thing to try, and you could also take that approach. Also, offering to do the shaving for him meant that he wasn't inconvenienced by having to do something on his own time or learning how. Also, it was a super fun and hot part of foreplay that evening.

Good luck! As for #2, you might try a salicylic acid gel (like 2%). Commonly available, can help with pores clogged by forceful thrusting.
posted by acanthous at 11:07 AM on March 26, 2010

#2 - try the single-use disposable face-cleansing cloths designed for oily or acne-prone skin (there are plenty of makes of these, including Neutrogena and Clearsil). Maybe wipe right after sex, plus maybe one or two other times in the day.
posted by peanut butter milkshake at 11:11 AM on March 26, 2010

Oh, I don't know how much shaving you've done down there, but the clearcut razor on this rather goofily named website is really excellent. Not affiliated, happy user. No nicks, no pain, very smooth finish and convenient for daily maintenance if desired. You need something to trim down to stubble first, the first time you use it. They have trimmers too, but a standard beard trimmer might work.
posted by acanthous at 11:14 AM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

i've never had a guy balk at "if you trim up, i'll put my mouth there more often". i'm a fan of hair clippers/beard trimmer with a zero guard (slow, steady, stretch out the skin) and conditioner in the shower.

for the other issue - all the face washing cloth ideas are great, but don't forget a dry towel. leaving the area wet might be part of the issue. personally, i'd probably just take 5 minutes after sex in the bathroom to wash up over the sink and to pee (for bladder infection prevention!).
posted by nadawi at 11:39 AM on March 26, 2010

Response by poster: Asking him to trim or shave seems pretty easy to do in a way that makes it seem fun and sexy, but what about the yeasty issue; how do I tell him about that? I don't want to make him feel bad about it, but at the same time, it's a problem.
posted by anonysex at 12:01 PM on March 26, 2010

the yeasty might be related to trapped moisture and shaving might eliminate that. if not - shower with him and do a sexy soap him up, paying special attention to his balls, then afterward, do a sexy dry him off, again paying attention to his balls, then follow that with a romp that specifically shows your appreciation for the clean ball smell.

also, does he wash up before you guys full around? my husband is the first guy to do this and it is wonderful! again, this can be totally simple to accomplish - "hey, honey, can you go wash up? i really want to suck your dick." i recommend cetaphil - gentle and comes in a pump bottle so easy for a standing over the sink wash up.
posted by nadawi at 12:55 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Despite my best efforts at post-sex skincare (which, admittedly, is usually several hours after sex, since we most often have sex right before going to sleep)

you can still fall right asleep and enjoy the sweet, post-orgasm haze even if you pop up for a few minutes and check in to the bathroom for a clean-up. My SO usually goes first, leaving me a couple minutes to just relax, and then when he gets back I lumber over to the bathroom to pee, mouthwash, wipe down, etc, but none of it takes so long that I can't flop right back to bed all warm and happy. Otherwise it's like going to bed without brushing yr teeth - like getting ready for bed, and then having dessert under the covers.
posted by mdn at 1:07 PM on March 26, 2010

For the boob problem, I would buy some of those moist towelettes that are for the face. I think Biore makes some specifically to prevent breakouts. Keep those close by in your room and use them to wipe off your chest before going to sleep.

For him, you may just have to tell him. It doesn't have to be offensive to him, how would he know that his balls taste off? He may just be glad that you alerted him to the issue. I would suggest making sure he washes his balls every day and uses a good bodywash or soap that gets it clean down there.
posted by ishotjr at 3:16 PM on March 26, 2010

He'll get over being told that his junk smells funky, especially considering that there's an easy fix (also known as TAKING A SHOWER). He may act all butthurt at first, but he'll get over it. Don't tiptoe around the issue. Wouldn't you want to know if he was avoiding oral sex with you because you stink?
posted by desjardins at 11:03 PM on March 26, 2010

Nthing the idea that keeping the fun-bits shaved going a long way to solving your beloved's "yeasty" issue. Less "humidity" going on with shaved fun-bits.

Tell him It's not that it's a bad smell. I like the way you smell, lover. It's just that it gets a bit much, and keeping it shaved down there keeps it at just the right level of sexy without being overwhelming. So I can spend more time down there.

Always end with the and that means more enthusiastic oral sex message, no matter what you're saying.

Worked on me.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:13 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Actually, shaving might aggravate the 'moistness' of the area. One primary function of the hair in bodily creases is to maintain a buffer zone between skins. If the hair is removed two skin surfaces will be mushed up against each other , trapping the perspiration more than if some hair where present to keep them slightly separate.
I don't have a suggestion but thought I'd try to dispel that notion.
posted by Catfry at 3:58 PM on March 27, 2010

For #2, I'd suggest getting up and doing a quick wipe-down in the bathroom. You should be peeing after sex anyway! Gotta maintain your urinary tract health, bb.
posted by scarykarrey at 10:20 PM on March 27, 2010

I'd try acne-fighting astringent on a cotton pad for the sternum. Keep it by the bed and just swab off afterwards a couple times, repeating until the cotton pad comes clean. Less messy and probably more cleansing than a washcloth.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:54 AM on March 28, 2010

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