Flowery interpretations needed for a list of billiard house rules.

March 22, 2010 10:18 AM

Flowery interpretations needed for a list of billiard house rules.

I am just about finished with my billiards room. The last piece of the puzzle is a 4' x 8' blackboard that I am going to use to list some house rules and to keep score. I am looking for different/fun/Shakespearean ways to articulate my rules rather than just a list of DONT DO THIS!

Rules so far.
No Jump Shots
No Masse Shots
No Sitting on Table
No Beverages on Table

Any other billiards quotes or suggestions for good usage of chalk board real estate would be appreciated

posted by travis08 to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (5 answers total)

This might help: http://www.normanclare.co.uk/images/tcopictures/066_gillow.jpg
posted by caution live frogs at 10:35 AM on March 22, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks caution. To be more clear, I am not looking for more rules, just a fun way to say the ones I posted above. For example like the way Shakespeare might say them.
posted by travis08 at 10:46 AM on March 22, 2010

Best answer: Thou shalt not, with thy stick, vertically separate any ball from contacting the playing field.
Thou shalt not exploit physics nor geometry in such a way as to form an unnatural curve with thy ball.
Thou shalt not effect, or cause, or collude to rest thy buttocks upon this playing field or its borders.
Thou shalt not encumber the playing field with beverages, for coasters art available on yonder table.
posted by headspace at 11:24 AM on March 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Positively awesome headspace!
posted by travis08 at 11:37 AM on March 22, 2010

Good frend for İesu's sake forbeare,
To aim down at y^e felt with y^e billiard speare.
Blese be y^e ass y^t spares thes rails,
And cvrst be he y^t party fouls.
posted by nicwolff at 12:37 PM on March 22, 2010 [3 favorites]