Caught red handed in a Mefi-designed booby trap
March 9, 2010 2:07 PM Subscribe
Help me catch a thief in the act.
Things have been going missing from my sister's home: jewellery, cash, a Nintendo DS. This has been happening over a period of time and it's become obvious that the thief must be somebody she knows.
My sister's husband is from a huge and tightly knit family who all live close to one another. It's normal for them all to be in and out of each other's houses all the time without warning. (This isn't how me and my sister were raised, but it's very much how her hubby's family rolls.) Any attempt to move to a 'people need to call in advance' structure or to become less visitor friendly would not go down well. To do so because she believes a family member or friend of the family may be stealing from her? Yeah, apocalyptic family drama would ensue.
So taking as a given that she can't act without solid proof and that her house is going to remain something of a public thoroughfare, how can she stop the thief? The best scenario we've come up with is some sort of trap, so that the culprit is either caught in the act, recorded on tape, or found with the stolen object in their posession.
Please help me design a suitable trap for her.
Throwaway for clarifications - ashamedofmyextendedfamily@gmail.com
Things have been going missing from my sister's home: jewellery, cash, a Nintendo DS. This has been happening over a period of time and it's become obvious that the thief must be somebody she knows.
My sister's husband is from a huge and tightly knit family who all live close to one another. It's normal for them all to be in and out of each other's houses all the time without warning. (This isn't how me and my sister were raised, but it's very much how her hubby's family rolls.) Any attempt to move to a 'people need to call in advance' structure or to become less visitor friendly would not go down well. To do so because she believes a family member or friend of the family may be stealing from her? Yeah, apocalyptic family drama would ensue.
So taking as a given that she can't act without solid proof and that her house is going to remain something of a public thoroughfare, how can she stop the thief? The best scenario we've come up with is some sort of trap, so that the culprit is either caught in the act, recorded on tape, or found with the stolen object in their posession.
Please help me design a suitable trap for her.
Throwaway for clarifications - ashamedofmyextendedfamily@gmail.com
You're looking for what's coloquially called a "nanny cam."
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:15 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:15 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
I have a lot of faith in the human desire to do the right thing, and I'm also informed in the following recommendation by two ideas: 1) catching this person is going to lead to some pretty intense and painful family drama and 2) stealing is carried out for complex psychological reasons that are not easily resolved just by getting busted. So here's my suggestion:
Buy some nice new thing and Let it Be Known that you have it. Tape a note to the bottom that says:
"When you steal from us, you aren't just taking the item you want, you're hurting us. Let's keep this the kind of family where we can trust each other, where we know we'll be there when someone needs help, and leave our things where you find them. And if you really need help, just ask - we want to be there for you."
Or something along those lines.
posted by serazin at 2:24 PM on March 9, 2010 [17 favorites]
Buy some nice new thing and Let it Be Known that you have it. Tape a note to the bottom that says:
"When you steal from us, you aren't just taking the item you want, you're hurting us. Let's keep this the kind of family where we can trust each other, where we know we'll be there when someone needs help, and leave our things where you find them. And if you really need help, just ask - we want to be there for you."
Or something along those lines.
posted by serazin at 2:24 PM on March 9, 2010 [17 favorites]
Nanny cams fit in almost anything, and the necklace story is a great bait.
posted by dabitch at 2:24 PM on March 9, 2010
posted by dabitch at 2:24 PM on March 9, 2010
catching this person is going to lead to some pretty intense and painful family drama and 2) stealing is carried out for complex psychological reasons that are not easily resolved just by getting busted
of course you can combine this sensible insight with the Nanny Cam idea. Find out who it is, then take a deep breath before deciding exactly how to act.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2010 [3 favorites]
of course you can combine this sensible insight with the Nanny Cam idea. Find out who it is, then take a deep breath before deciding exactly how to act.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2010 [3 favorites]
Change the locks, if anybody gets pissy, husband should grow...something...and explain that his relatives are not allowed to run roughshod over his home. Why play games?
posted by sageleaf at 2:29 PM on March 9, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by sageleaf at 2:29 PM on March 9, 2010 [11 favorites]
There's a chance that it's more than one person and they're working independent of each other. So don't assume the one caught on camera is responsible for everything gone missing.
posted by Feisty at 2:34 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Feisty at 2:34 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Jewelry, cash, a DS. These are all pretty common things to loose, they're something we carry on us when we go out, and this has been happening over a long period of time. Is it possible they were lost, and you sister is assuming theres a pattern where there may not be one? A computer or lamp doesn't just walk it's self out of a house, but small items like those may just hitch a ride on a forgetful person.
Really consider if an objective outside person would conclude with out a doubt that there has been theft. Could this instead be suppressed agitation with inlaws finding an outlet?
posted by fontophilic at 2:46 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Really consider if an objective outside person would conclude with out a doubt that there has been theft. Could this instead be suppressed agitation with inlaws finding an outlet?
posted by fontophilic at 2:46 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Any attempt to move to a 'people need to call in advance' structure or to become less visitor friendly would not go down well
But exposing a family member as a thief would go down better?
posted by y6t5r4e3w2q1 at 3:00 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
But exposing a family member as a thief would go down better?
posted by y6t5r4e3w2q1 at 3:00 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
This situation is built for apocalyptic family drama, both with the husband's family and within your sister's marriage. There's no way around it, except perhaps if serazin's suggestion works. Tread carefully.
Your sister and her husband need to be united on the method for finding this out and on what to do with the information - actually, are they agreed on even to trying to find out at all, as opposed to locking things up or doing nothing? Are these small items possibly lost outside the home, or moved to unexpected places within it? Is your throwaway email (ashamedofmyextendedfamily) reflective of a larger conflict that is influencing your interpretation of events?
If they both agree this is a good idea, they're going to need some pretty incontrovertible evidence. Like a video that clearly shows the full incident from beginning to end, with enough detail to positively identify the person (without depending on knowledge of what they were wearing that day), the object, and the fact that it's a theft. Are you going to get a good enough angle with a surveillance camera to show the face, the object, and enough context to prove it's a theft? Anything short of that, and you might satisfy yourselves, but the culprit(s) and their relatives will have plenty of room to deny, take sides, and split the family into warring camps. Not that all this wouldn't happen even with incontrovertible evidence.
Once again: Your sister and her husband need to communicate every step of the way on how to handle this. They may disagree as to the quality of the evidence and what it proves. They may want different things out of any interaction with the responsible people. Whatever action they take, if any, they both have to stand behind it - especially the husband, if it turns out to be a member of his family.
posted by expialidocious at 3:10 PM on March 9, 2010
Your sister and her husband need to be united on the method for finding this out and on what to do with the information - actually, are they agreed on even to trying to find out at all, as opposed to locking things up or doing nothing? Are these small items possibly lost outside the home, or moved to unexpected places within it? Is your throwaway email (ashamedofmyextendedfamily) reflective of a larger conflict that is influencing your interpretation of events?
If they both agree this is a good idea, they're going to need some pretty incontrovertible evidence. Like a video that clearly shows the full incident from beginning to end, with enough detail to positively identify the person (without depending on knowledge of what they were wearing that day), the object, and the fact that it's a theft. Are you going to get a good enough angle with a surveillance camera to show the face, the object, and enough context to prove it's a theft? Anything short of that, and you might satisfy yourselves, but the culprit(s) and their relatives will have plenty of room to deny, take sides, and split the family into warring camps. Not that all this wouldn't happen even with incontrovertible evidence.
Once again: Your sister and her husband need to communicate every step of the way on how to handle this. They may disagree as to the quality of the evidence and what it proves. They may want different things out of any interaction with the responsible people. Whatever action they take, if any, they both have to stand behind it - especially the husband, if it turns out to be a member of his family.
posted by expialidocious at 3:10 PM on March 9, 2010
Are you going to get a good enough angle with a surveillance camera to show the face, the object, and enough context to prove it's a theft?
To this end: Two nanny cams.
posted by Jairus at 3:42 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
To this end: Two nanny cams.
posted by Jairus at 3:42 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Buy some nice new thing and Let it Be Known that you have it.
While this is a nice suggestion because it attempts to preserve family harmony to the extent possible, I think it unlikely to work. A sneak thief who knows their victim seems unlikely to target conspicuous new things. I could be wrong, but my guess is that in the situation described they are stealing things that they think might plausibly be simply taken for missing or lost. A new item doesn't fit that bill. Without a specific item to target with the admonition, it's hard to deliver it unless you catch them on video and then talk with them quietly.
posted by OmieWise at 3:51 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
While this is a nice suggestion because it attempts to preserve family harmony to the extent possible, I think it unlikely to work. A sneak thief who knows their victim seems unlikely to target conspicuous new things. I could be wrong, but my guess is that in the situation described they are stealing things that they think might plausibly be simply taken for missing or lost. A new item doesn't fit that bill. Without a specific item to target with the admonition, it's hard to deliver it unless you catch them on video and then talk with them quietly.
posted by OmieWise at 3:51 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
I don't know how well it would work (depending upon where they live, how often people are in and out of the house, etc) but if they want it to simply stop without the drama they could tell the family they were burgled (or a neighbor was burgled) and that they are beefing up security. Perhaps someone (them or a family member) left the door unlocked and someone (they suspect a neighborhood kid) came in and grabbed what they could put in their pockets. Perhaps there's a known bad-kid down the street.
They can put in one of those cheap motion-sensor alarms (the sort that is contained in a single box you set near the front door and sounds unless the key code is entered) and a few dummy cameras. Give the family the code for the cheap-o motion sensor alarm, ask the family to be extra careful about locking the door, and let the family know how much they're looking forward to catching that naughty kid on camera if he does it again.
Or if they're cheap enough, real nannycams. Sister can complain casually that husband spends more time watching the recordings than doing dishes--but it was cute to see mom watering the plants. Ideally the real thief is deterred by the thought of being caught on camera for the rest of the family to see.
posted by K.P. at 3:58 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
They can put in one of those cheap motion-sensor alarms (the sort that is contained in a single box you set near the front door and sounds unless the key code is entered) and a few dummy cameras. Give the family the code for the cheap-o motion sensor alarm, ask the family to be extra careful about locking the door, and let the family know how much they're looking forward to catching that naughty kid on camera if he does it again.
Or if they're cheap enough, real nannycams. Sister can complain casually that husband spends more time watching the recordings than doing dishes--but it was cute to see mom watering the plants. Ideally the real thief is deterred by the thought of being caught on camera for the rest of the family to see.
posted by K.P. at 3:58 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Yeah, OmieWise is right - announcing a "new thing" is not a good idea. Far better is cash. A few $20 dollar bills on a table - a camera, or two, well aimed. Go about your business, and wait. Review tapes nightly. When you have proof, strike.
posted by VikingSword at 4:02 PM on March 9, 2010
posted by VikingSword at 4:02 PM on March 9, 2010
I'm from a somewhat similar family - when we were kids we were in and out of our extended family's houses all the time without notice. But that also meant that everyone knew what was up with everyone else. If one of my cousins suddenly had some new jewelry or a new Nintendo DS, or even extra cash, I would have known about it right away.
Is there any way that your sister and brother in law can ask around to see if anyone "borrowed" the items before going all "to catch a thief" on them? She doesn't have to be accusatory, just mention to some of the kids and a few adults that she can't seem to find the Nintendo DS, then ask if anyone has seen it. Or ask if someone was playing dress-up and accidentally moved the jewelry. Make the missing items a family affair, and you might be able to recover them without drama (well, except for the cash, which is harder). It would also put peer pressure on the thief to stop doing it.
If that doesn't work. Yea, definitely nanny cam.
posted by gemmy at 4:47 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Is there any way that your sister and brother in law can ask around to see if anyone "borrowed" the items before going all "to catch a thief" on them? She doesn't have to be accusatory, just mention to some of the kids and a few adults that she can't seem to find the Nintendo DS, then ask if anyone has seen it. Or ask if someone was playing dress-up and accidentally moved the jewelry. Make the missing items a family affair, and you might be able to recover them without drama (well, except for the cash, which is harder). It would also put peer pressure on the thief to stop doing it.
If that doesn't work. Yea, definitely nanny cam.
posted by gemmy at 4:47 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
Enhancing the thoughts of OmieWise and VikingSword, you can write in the margins of the bills with a very-fine-point pen, to make "your" $20 distinguishable from all others. Nothing obvious like, "Stolen from Jack & Jill's House" but even a 6-letter code that you make up such as "xlyqzc" will work.
posted by trinity8-director at 4:53 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by trinity8-director at 4:53 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
On second thought, forget what I said earlier about fake cameras. The nefarious cousin will start making silly faces at the camera and if no one remarks on them, s/he will know that no one is really watching.
Camera or two plus bait as mentioned (cash and old/broken iPod/DS), move it around regularly. Put real valuables in the bedroom and put a lock on the door.
If the family complains about the lock on the door, mention the local neighborhood-watch guy giving the husband funny ideas about alarms, cameras and guns, but a lock on the bedroom door was the compromise.
posted by K.P. at 4:57 PM on March 9, 2010
Camera or two plus bait as mentioned (cash and old/broken iPod/DS), move it around regularly. Put real valuables in the bedroom and put a lock on the door.
If the family complains about the lock on the door, mention the local neighborhood-watch guy giving the husband funny ideas about alarms, cameras and guns, but a lock on the bedroom door was the compromise.
posted by K.P. at 4:57 PM on March 9, 2010
To do so because she believes a family member or friend of the family may be stealing from her? Yeah, apocalyptic family drama would ensue.
Well, if that isn't a hotbed for enabling thievery, I don't know what is.
So: I assume people come over unannounced, but they don't have a key to the house. when people come over to the house, start "cleaning up" as you invite them in and talk to them, as if you were already doing it, and move valuable things "out of the way." If you have a sneaky pete who's doing this willfully and methodically, they will notice you're doing this, assume you know it's them, and probably knock it off.
Even if they don't notice, this will allow you to take a quick inventory of what small, easily-taken stuff is around, and after they leave you can do a quick walk-through to see if anything's missing -- that would help you narrow down who it might be. Also, if you're dropping these things into a bedroom or somesuch, you can lock that door and you'll have a suspect if a family member rattles the knob and comes back into the main room (or says "hey, why is your bedroom locked?" to which you say "it's too messy in there, stay out of there" to avoid ruffling feathers -- but you know they were trying to go into your room.)
At the end of the day, this works in two ways: first by potentially deterring the thief and helping you narrow down who it might be, and second by giving you more insight into the little valuables you leave around so that if you're actually just losing them, you'll realize it. Either way, you win.
posted by davejay at 6:16 PM on March 9, 2010
Well, if that isn't a hotbed for enabling thievery, I don't know what is.
So: I assume people come over unannounced, but they don't have a key to the house. when people come over to the house, start "cleaning up" as you invite them in and talk to them, as if you were already doing it, and move valuable things "out of the way." If you have a sneaky pete who's doing this willfully and methodically, they will notice you're doing this, assume you know it's them, and probably knock it off.
Even if they don't notice, this will allow you to take a quick inventory of what small, easily-taken stuff is around, and after they leave you can do a quick walk-through to see if anything's missing -- that would help you narrow down who it might be. Also, if you're dropping these things into a bedroom or somesuch, you can lock that door and you'll have a suspect if a family member rattles the knob and comes back into the main room (or says "hey, why is your bedroom locked?" to which you say "it's too messy in there, stay out of there" to avoid ruffling feathers -- but you know they were trying to go into your room.)
At the end of the day, this works in two ways: first by potentially deterring the thief and helping you narrow down who it might be, and second by giving you more insight into the little valuables you leave around so that if you're actually just losing them, you'll realize it. Either way, you win.
posted by davejay at 6:16 PM on March 9, 2010
My take: someone who would grab a loose $20 is a different person that one who steals jewelry or Nintendos. Laying out bait $20s won't necessarily expose the same person.
Also, if my experience counts for anything, nanny cams to catch the thief will be less well received than finding out there is a thief in their midst. "Johnny has some troubles, but how could YOU do that to us/him???" As will conspicuous straightening/hiding.
Better to figure out who the deadbeats in the family are, and watch them. Or put out a non-specific "hey, some stuff is missing, did anyone borrow X Y or Z?" feelers to the whole lot of them, and see what comes up.
posted by gjc at 6:40 PM on March 9, 2010
Also, if my experience counts for anything, nanny cams to catch the thief will be less well received than finding out there is a thief in their midst. "Johnny has some troubles, but how could YOU do that to us/him???" As will conspicuous straightening/hiding.
Better to figure out who the deadbeats in the family are, and watch them. Or put out a non-specific "hey, some stuff is missing, did anyone borrow X Y or Z?" feelers to the whole lot of them, and see what comes up.
posted by gjc at 6:40 PM on March 9, 2010
I would do both the nanny cam and the sincere note that serazin recommends. That'll probably put a stop to it if it's a family member, and on the off chance that it isn't a family member, you'll know who to point the cops to!
Also, it strikes me as likely that a family member stealing jewelry indicates a drug problem (i.e. needs quick cash for drugs), so the camera is a doubly good idea, because maybe you can get the family member some help!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:04 PM on March 9, 2010
Also, it strikes me as likely that a family member stealing jewelry indicates a drug problem (i.e. needs quick cash for drugs), so the camera is a doubly good idea, because maybe you can get the family member some help!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:04 PM on March 9, 2010
I don't even know if it's worth the lifelong apocalyptic family drama in this case to expose the thief. Especially if it will totally upset his family culture. Especially if this is coming from you, an in-law. Even if you have cold hard nannycam evidence, who's to say that you'll get believed? Or that the family won't rally around the thief or thieves and treat you like The Enemy?
Sorry, but I'm used to family crazies.
Is your husband on board with dealing with this problem? That's the #1 thing, if you two aren't united on this it'll make you The Enemy if you keep pursuing it.
Also, I dunno on the nannycam thing. Is it so easy to predict something that someone's going to steal? And again, cameras aren't always at good angles to prove conclusively that a certain person did it. It just kinda sounds to me like it's a lot of effort for little payoff.
Honestly, I'd just change the locks and tell the extended family that there's been burglaries in your neighborhood lately and you're not comfortable letting everyone roaming in and out at will for "right now." That kind of puts the thief on no-no alert, and it hampers their access to your house. And while it'll piss off the relatives to be cut off, this won't nearly piss them off as much as it would to confront them all with a thief in the family. Anyone who continues to whine that you should have an open door policy when there's thieves in the neighborhood is an idiot.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:20 PM on March 9, 2010
Sorry, but I'm used to family crazies.
Is your husband on board with dealing with this problem? That's the #1 thing, if you two aren't united on this it'll make you The Enemy if you keep pursuing it.
Also, I dunno on the nannycam thing. Is it so easy to predict something that someone's going to steal? And again, cameras aren't always at good angles to prove conclusively that a certain person did it. It just kinda sounds to me like it's a lot of effort for little payoff.
Honestly, I'd just change the locks and tell the extended family that there's been burglaries in your neighborhood lately and you're not comfortable letting everyone roaming in and out at will for "right now." That kind of puts the thief on no-no alert, and it hampers their access to your house. And while it'll piss off the relatives to be cut off, this won't nearly piss them off as much as it would to confront them all with a thief in the family. Anyone who continues to whine that you should have an open door policy when there's thieves in the neighborhood is an idiot.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:20 PM on March 9, 2010
Why are you being sneaky on top of it?
"Some things have gone missing, so the house is no longer free-range."
someone who would grab a loose $20 is a different person that one who steals jewelry or Nintendos.
How so?
posted by cmoj at 7:30 PM on March 9, 2010
"Some things have gone missing, so the house is no longer free-range."
someone who would grab a loose $20 is a different person that one who steals jewelry or Nintendos.
How so?
posted by cmoj at 7:30 PM on March 9, 2010
You know, my dad never locked his truck at work until someone stole his Walkman out of it, from under the driver's seat. Since he started locking his doors, nothing's ever been stolen again. Had the doors been locked, maybe whoever took the Walkman wouldn't have broken in to steal it either.
Catching someone stealing from you on video is going to cause drama, so you might as well just not go to the expense and bother of buying nannycams, and just start locking your doors (assuming no one else has a key.)
posted by IndigoRain at 8:07 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Catching someone stealing from you on video is going to cause drama, so you might as well just not go to the expense and bother of buying nannycams, and just start locking your doors (assuming no one else has a key.)
posted by IndigoRain at 8:07 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
You can ad-hoc something like this with a computer's webcam - there's software out there that does motion sensing *and* email alerts, that kind of thing. Plus it's fairly easy to hide some of the smaller Logitech cams and pass them off as just part of the normal computer setup. (You can also mark cash with infrared ink pens but then you'd need a UV blacklight.)
posted by bhance at 8:52 PM on March 9, 2010
posted by bhance at 8:52 PM on March 9, 2010
small items like those may just hitch a ride on a forgetful person.
I'm sorry but I disagree. People don't pick up other people's money, electronics, or jewelery without knowing it, and even if they did they would notice at a later point that they grabbed something that wasn't theirs and want to return it, especially if it was to a family member.
I hate how people don't want to "rattle the cage" with family when there is obviously an issue (creepy uncle, missing items, rude individual, ...). If someone is stealing stuff OUT OF YOUR HOUSE then lock your house and tell everyone that they are no longer allowed over without calling ahead because someone has been stealing. This means no direct confrontation, and it also means that everyone else will check their belongings and maybe people will talk and come up with a common denominator individual.
Aside from that, a camera or two at different angles on some loose change is a great idea. 20$ might seem a tad obvious (you would notice 20$ missing right?) so I'd go with a few ones and fives with a inconspicuous marking that you make while filming yourself, this means nobody can deny the proof that they were your bills. Toss them in a spot that is easy access, but also completely open to your camera and voila.
Good luck, but I'd go at this in a way that you can say "give me my stuff back or I'm bringing the law into this, and by the way you're not allowed at my house ever again".
posted by zombieApoc at 10:03 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
I don't like the baiting idea, but since that's what you're asking for I'm going to just give you something to think about: You can never be sure the person you catch is the one that stole from you before --- you may have more than one relative with loose morals. Putting out a tantalizing price might catch someone who hasn't done anything so far, and provide a perfect cover for the real thief.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:26 AM on March 10, 2010
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:26 AM on March 10, 2010
zombieApoc, you misunderstood me. I didn't mean that the "thief" was "forgetful". I was questioning if the homeowners were loosing their own items.
Who hasn't had a piece of jewelry fall off, or cash fall out of a pocket? Unless OP is holding onto more details, I'd have a hard time going from "I can't find this $20, weird," to "You stole from me!" Or rather, I'd have a hard time coming to that conclusion unless I constantly had my ideas of personal space not respected by annoying in-laws and were holding onto a bit of pent up passive aggressiveness which would like to find a target and patterns where there were none.
posted by fontophilic at 8:38 AM on March 10, 2010
Who hasn't had a piece of jewelry fall off, or cash fall out of a pocket? Unless OP is holding onto more details, I'd have a hard time going from "I can't find this $20, weird," to "You stole from me!" Or rather, I'd have a hard time coming to that conclusion unless I constantly had my ideas of personal space not respected by annoying in-laws and were holding onto a bit of pent up passive aggressiveness which would like to find a target and patterns where there were none.
posted by fontophilic at 8:38 AM on March 10, 2010
1. "There seems to be a thief in the neighborhood, so we changed the locks and are being really cautious about keeping the place locked. Having things go missing really makes me feel violated."
2. Assume the attitude that it's not family, and get the family involved in a solution. "OMG, things keep going missing; whatever should we do?" It's likely to be happening to other family members, and you may be surprised at the responses you get. Cousin Jay may be known to have sticky fingers, and Cousin Chris may let you know. In any case, at some point, a nannycam will be recommended, and if your nannycam is discovered, you'll say it's because of the neighborhood thief.
3. Start keeping money in the kitchen; a change and small bills jar in the cupboard where you keep coffee cups/wine glasses should do it. Maybe a ring dish next to the sink, primed with some cheap rings and earrings. Aim your nannycam accordingly.
4. Pick up some international coins, or old US money at the nearest place that sells coins. When it goes missing, let it be known that it was highly collectible and very valuable. Ask the coin dealer to be on the alert for someone selling the "rare 1928 2 dollar bill" or whatever. A lot of old money isn't terribly pricey, but the thief won't know your $2 doesn't have the tiny misprint.
5. Get an engraving tool, and make sure things have an identifier; I use my mobile phone #. hint: not your SSN. The identification makes things harder to steal and keep; harder to sell.
6. Read up on home security and learn to hide valuables and make them harder to steal. It's good practice for the possibility that some day your home will be invaded by an unrelated thief who will take lots of stuff at once.
posted by theora55 at 9:39 AM on March 10, 2010
2. Assume the attitude that it's not family, and get the family involved in a solution. "OMG, things keep going missing; whatever should we do?" It's likely to be happening to other family members, and you may be surprised at the responses you get. Cousin Jay may be known to have sticky fingers, and Cousin Chris may let you know. In any case, at some point, a nannycam will be recommended, and if your nannycam is discovered, you'll say it's because of the neighborhood thief.
3. Start keeping money in the kitchen; a change and small bills jar in the cupboard where you keep coffee cups/wine glasses should do it. Maybe a ring dish next to the sink, primed with some cheap rings and earrings. Aim your nannycam accordingly.
4. Pick up some international coins, or old US money at the nearest place that sells coins. When it goes missing, let it be known that it was highly collectible and very valuable. Ask the coin dealer to be on the alert for someone selling the "rare 1928 2 dollar bill" or whatever. A lot of old money isn't terribly pricey, but the thief won't know your $2 doesn't have the tiny misprint.
5. Get an engraving tool, and make sure things have an identifier; I use my mobile phone #. hint: not your SSN. The identification makes things harder to steal and keep; harder to sell.
6. Read up on home security and learn to hide valuables and make them harder to steal. It's good practice for the possibility that some day your home will be invaded by an unrelated thief who will take lots of stuff at once.
posted by theora55 at 9:39 AM on March 10, 2010
It's normal for them all to be in and out of each other's houses all the time without warning.
Pardon me if this was mentioned already, but how do you know it's actually one of your sister's husband's direct family that's doing the stealing? And how do you know it's just one person?
Do the other direct family members have keys? Do then other people have access to those keys? (the family member's spouses, children, nephews, children's friends, family friends, etc.)?
Or do you have a key-under-the-doormat thing where there's a key that other people know about? Same thing. If the direct family knows about it, others in their circles will too.
As was articulated above, just change the locks, and don't give out keys to others. Set some boundaries. They have their own homes, let them live in them. If they want access to your house for a good reason, tell them they can easily come by when you're home.
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 1:10 PM on March 10, 2010
Pardon me if this was mentioned already, but how do you know it's actually one of your sister's husband's direct family that's doing the stealing? And how do you know it's just one person?
Do the other direct family members have keys? Do then other people have access to those keys? (the family member's spouses, children, nephews, children's friends, family friends, etc.)?
Or do you have a key-under-the-doormat thing where there's a key that other people know about? Same thing. If the direct family knows about it, others in their circles will too.
As was articulated above, just change the locks, and don't give out keys to others. Set some boundaries. They have their own homes, let them live in them. If they want access to your house for a good reason, tell them they can easily come by when you're home.
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 1:10 PM on March 10, 2010
sorry, I got confused; you're talking about your sister being stolen from, and it's her house, not yours. You know what I mean...
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 1:12 PM on March 10, 2010
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 1:12 PM on March 10, 2010
follow-up from the OP
Thank you all for taking the time to help me out on this. It's aposted by jessamyn at 2:58 PM on March 10, 2010 [1 favorite]
really unpleasant situation and I feel a little better knowing AskMefi
has got my back. First off I'd like to particularly thank everybody
who suggested the following possibilities and strategies...
The possibility that the thief may become aggressive if caught in the act.
The possibility of communicating with the thief by taping a personal
message to something valuable.
The possibility that there is more than one thief.
The possibility that a single camera angle may be insufficient evidence.
The possibility that other family members are being stolen from.
The 'pretend you were cleaning' strategy.
The 'criminals are targeting this neighbourhood' strategy.
The 'say, has anybody seen my...' strategy.
The recommendations for nannycams and info on building my own.
And then I'd like to address some points...
That the items were misplaced not stolen.
If it were my stuff vanishing, I would agree, but my sister is a very
together person. I could maybe accept the missing cash being an honest
mistake, but the jewellery had great sentimental value and the DS was
a gift that she'd had less than a month and can't afford to replace.
These aren't casual losses.
That exposing somebody as a thief would cause more drama than just
denying everybody access to the house.
If they have solid proof that a specific person is a thief, the rest
of the family will back my sis and BIL against the thief. On the other
hand, if they just make accusations without proof that "somebody in
this family is a thief"? Yeah, that wouldn't be so well received.)
That Sis and BIL may not be presenting a united front.
Other than the 'are family obliged to warn us when they'll be over'
question, there's no disagreement. They are both agreed that there is
a thief, that the thief is somebody they know, that action has to be
taken and that collecting hard evidence to identify the thief is the
next logical step.
That my email address is indicative of greater drama.
The really awful thing is? I like the whole family. I think if you met
my BIL's family you would like them too. My BIL's father (which means
he's my what? Uncle-in-law?) is a person for whom I have a huge
amounts of respect. I'm really dismayed by the news that somebody in
this family might be a thief. A person who would steal from my sister
is a person I'm ashamed to know, hence the email address and anonymous
posting.
That stealing $20 is different to stealing a Nintendo.
My basic take is that if you're prepared to steal from a family
member, you have serious problems. Period
That the stealing may be addiction related.
This is a possibility. When my sister was trying to work out what the
motive might be, the two options she came up with were gambling
addiction as there are quite a few semi-serious poker players in the
family or spite. (There's another household in the family with whom my
sis and BIL have a slight rivalry thing going on and it's possible
that what began as a low-grade jealousy might have escalated.)
Naturally we'd prefer the former as the solutions are more clear cut.
Again, I'd like to thank you all for continuing to help me on this. I
think my sister got me involved largely in the hope that I could build
her some ingenious geek security system for $0. She's not technically
minded herself and tends to over-estimate my skill in that area.
Thankfully bhance's links have given me somewhere to start on that and
I'll pass on all your other comments as well to see if she'd rather go
serazin's route.
Thank you.
This thread is closed to new comments.
Don't try to catch them with it in their possession, people get violent and defensive. Same with caught in the act. Video of someone doing it is the best bet. Good luck!
posted by Damn That Television at 2:11 PM on March 9, 2010