Is it acceptable to give a gift to a prof who wrote a reference letter?
February 24, 2010 9:42 AM Subscribe
Is it acceptable to give a small gift of a $10 gift certificate to a professor who has helped by writing my girlfriend a reference letter to grad school? She's not sure whether they are allowed to receive gifts of thanks.
Agreed, it's the appropriate monetary value, though I'd limit the gift certificate option to something like coffee or something like that. Maybe it's just me, but it feels like giving a gift certificate is a little close to giving cash.
Something of that same value but an actual object might be a better fit: a mug, a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates.
posted by dnesan at 9:47 AM on February 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
Something of that same value but an actual object might be a better fit: a mug, a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates.
posted by dnesan at 9:47 AM on February 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
I think the amount is fine but the gift certificate part is weird. Do you mean like a gift card to Starbucks? That would be great. Likewise a nice, small bouquet of flowers.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 9:48 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 9:48 AM on February 24, 2010
An earnest thank-you note and maybe a small non-monetary gift (home-made cookies?) would be better.
posted by messica at 9:48 AM on February 24, 2010 [9 favorites]
posted by messica at 9:48 AM on February 24, 2010 [9 favorites]
I'd go with a pound of coffee beans or a pie. A ten dollar gift certificate will be more trouble to spend than it's worth.
Everyone likes pie.
posted by musofire at 9:50 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Everyone likes pie.
posted by musofire at 9:50 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
The amount is fine, but I'd call the school (a different professor?) and see if there's any rules about cash-equivalent gifts.
posted by griphus at 9:50 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by griphus at 9:50 AM on February 24, 2010
I like dnesan's suggestion. Something small that shows gratitude is nice. Even a short letter or a post card (perhaps from the new institution) would make the prof feel appreciated.
posted by Fiery Jack at 9:51 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by Fiery Jack at 9:51 AM on February 24, 2010
Check with the institution and then state (if a state funded school) as the rules about these types of gifts vary widely.
Having worked in academia for almost 25 years, I'd recommend a thank-you note and a plate of homemade goodies (cookies, brownies, whathaveyou).
posted by labwench at 9:51 AM on February 24, 2010
Having worked in academia for almost 25 years, I'd recommend a thank-you note and a plate of homemade goodies (cookies, brownies, whathaveyou).
posted by labwench at 9:51 AM on February 24, 2010
It's probably fine, but I'd shy away from a gift card--I agree with dnesan that if it feels like cash, it's weird. Coffee or coffee gift card is probably a nice idea. Just saying thanks is also probably plenty--letters are part of the job.
posted by Mngo at 9:54 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by Mngo at 9:54 AM on February 24, 2010
Writing reference letters is part of the job; I would feel a little put off to get a gift out of it. Others might reasonably feel differently. Everybody likes getting gifts, and there is likely no policy at that University against it, especially if it's relatively inexpensive.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:54 AM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:54 AM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
I think a gift card or anything with a dollar denomination is a bad idea. A thank you note is a really good idea. Homemade cookies would be awesome, but not expected. I think they better match the time spent on your letter. If I could pay $10 to get out of writing a letter of recommendation I would do so.
You are not expected to provide thanks in the form of goods to your referees. Here is what you are expected to do:
posted by grouse at 9:56 AM on February 24, 2010 [5 favorites]
You are not expected to provide thanks in the form of goods to your referees. Here is what you are expected to do:
- Keep them updated on your progress, good or bad. If you get into grad school, the first person they should hear about it from is you.
- Someday, when you are in a position to help some other worthy individual by writing them a letter of recommendation, you will do so.
posted by grouse at 9:56 AM on February 24, 2010 [5 favorites]
IAAP. I have written letters of recommendations. It's part of my job.
I'd be weirded out by a gift certificate, myself, but a thank you note is always nice. And I wouldn't turn down cookies or something like that either. Or a nice book.
But again, none of this is necessary. Like I said, it's part of the job, just like grading and teaching and advising.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:57 AM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
I'd be weirded out by a gift certificate, myself, but a thank you note is always nice. And I wouldn't turn down cookies or something like that either. Or a nice book.
But again, none of this is necessary. Like I said, it's part of the job, just like grading and teaching and advising.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:57 AM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
on not-preview: ooh! This!
Keep them updated on your progress, good or bad. If you get into grad school, the first person they should hear about it from is you.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:58 AM on February 24, 2010
Keep them updated on your progress, good or bad. If you get into grad school, the first person they should hear about it from is you.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:58 AM on February 24, 2010
I agree that calling the institution is a good idea, but even if it's verboten, I'm sure it happens all the time anyway.
More importantly, I think, remember that the thank-you card is the main part of the gift. If your girlfriend wanted to include something else because she wants it to stand out from all the other thank-you cards the professor is receiving, she's seriously underestimating how unique it is just to receive a card. I've been teaching for almost ten years, have won multiple teaching awards, and I can count the number of thank-you cards I've received without taking off my socks. Maybe it's more common in other fields or at other institutions, but in my experience, a card with a heartfelt note would be much more memorable than a generic card and a giftcard for coffee.
posted by brozek at 10:02 AM on February 24, 2010
More importantly, I think, remember that the thank-you card is the main part of the gift. If your girlfriend wanted to include something else because she wants it to stand out from all the other thank-you cards the professor is receiving, she's seriously underestimating how unique it is just to receive a card. I've been teaching for almost ten years, have won multiple teaching awards, and I can count the number of thank-you cards I've received without taking off my socks. Maybe it's more common in other fields or at other institutions, but in my experience, a card with a heartfelt note would be much more memorable than a generic card and a giftcard for coffee.
posted by brozek at 10:02 AM on February 24, 2010
Thank you note and updates on progress.
Money to profs or anyone who has helped by giving a reference is a no-no. They want to feel magnanimous and helpful, so giving a gift in return is kind of selfish b/c it deprives them of that feeling.
Updates, on the other hand, feel like you genuinely care about your own progress and want them to be involved, and will enhance their good feelings as they get to see how their help may help you.
posted by lorrer at 10:04 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Money to profs or anyone who has helped by giving a reference is a no-no. They want to feel magnanimous and helpful, so giving a gift in return is kind of selfish b/c it deprives them of that feeling.
Updates, on the other hand, feel like you genuinely care about your own progress and want them to be involved, and will enhance their good feelings as they get to see how their help may help you.
posted by lorrer at 10:04 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Agreed that gift cards are a little too close to cash...
In my own past, I've given a box of truffles from a local chocolatier, and to someone else, a bottle of wine that I know to be excellent (but only $15). I gave chocolates to the person who I know doesn't drink alcohol.
Another "gift" to profs who write letters of rec is for the student to give the prof a list of what s/he wants the letter to say, i.e., I think these are my strengths and if you agree, please use this list to write the letter. Writing letters of recommendation is part of the job, so we expect to do it, but it is easier to start from a template/outline. If a student provides me with one, it really helps.
Anyway, how nice of your girlfriend to be so thoughtful!
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:08 AM on February 24, 2010
In my own past, I've given a box of truffles from a local chocolatier, and to someone else, a bottle of wine that I know to be excellent (but only $15). I gave chocolates to the person who I know doesn't drink alcohol.
Another "gift" to profs who write letters of rec is for the student to give the prof a list of what s/he wants the letter to say, i.e., I think these are my strengths and if you agree, please use this list to write the letter. Writing letters of recommendation is part of the job, so we expect to do it, but it is easier to start from a template/outline. If a student provides me with one, it really helps.
Anyway, how nice of your girlfriend to be so thoughtful!
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:08 AM on February 24, 2010
The scale is right, but I'd agree that the gift certificate isn't particularly appropriate. I gave copies of my comic book to my professors.
posted by cmoj at 10:13 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by cmoj at 10:13 AM on February 24, 2010
I'm a college teacher and I don't know if I'm allowed to take gifts, but I do, as long as the student's grade is a given at that point. The nicest gift I received was a dozen eggs from a student's farm, but I've also gotten Starbucks cards (one of them was for $5.00, which is basically a drink from Starbucks, and I was pleased to get it).
This is not accurate in my experience:
They want to feel magnanimous and helpful, so giving a gift in return is kind of selfish b/c it deprives them of that feeling.
Writing letters of reference is a huge pain in the ass and I don't feel magnanimous, I feel like the student is putting a drain on my energy by asking me to write one and a small gift or note that is an acknowledgement of that fact would be welcome.
posted by orsonet at 10:17 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
This is not accurate in my experience:
They want to feel magnanimous and helpful, so giving a gift in return is kind of selfish b/c it deprives them of that feeling.
Writing letters of reference is a huge pain in the ass and I don't feel magnanimous, I feel like the student is putting a drain on my energy by asking me to write one and a small gift or note that is an acknowledgement of that fact would be welcome.
posted by orsonet at 10:17 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I'm also a professor and I'm with orsonet. I certainly don't EXPECT a thank you note or gift or anything, but I think it's very thoughtful when I get one!
A thank you note (handwritten card) is great. If your gf does give a gift, I agree with everyone who said that it should be a) of insignificant monetary value, and b) preferably not cash or a gift card (unless it's something straightforward, like the cafe across the street where she knows the profs goes every day.) Cookies, chocolates, wine, etc -- perfect.
posted by kestrel251 at 10:22 AM on February 24, 2010
A thank you note (handwritten card) is great. If your gf does give a gift, I agree with everyone who said that it should be a) of insignificant monetary value, and b) preferably not cash or a gift card (unless it's something straightforward, like the cafe across the street where she knows the profs goes every day.) Cookies, chocolates, wine, etc -- perfect.
posted by kestrel251 at 10:22 AM on February 24, 2010
IAAP, but I've not received gifts for recommendations. I think I would feel a bit funny about a gift card, but a small token would be a lovely surprise. A mug from the institution you end up attending might be a fun gift idea in that price range.
posted by JMOZ at 10:26 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by JMOZ at 10:26 AM on February 24, 2010
IAAP. Recommendations are part of my job, not something above and beyond. I would be weirded out by anything more than a cookie or brownie or similar, or as noted above a coffee mug. A gift card and I would think you are kind of a weirdo. Just a sincere note of thanks, especially after you got in somewhere, would be more than sufficient.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:15 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:15 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's not appropriate. "Even the appearance of impropriety..."
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:47 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:47 AM on February 24, 2010
My vote's on no. I (just this afternoon!) got into my top choice grad program, and even though I'm incredibly grateful to my letter writers for their hand in this, I'd feel really uncomfortable giving them anything of monetary value. I sent them all enthusiastic emails, FWIW, and they just seem happy for me. They know that writing letters is part of their job.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:50 AM on February 24, 2010
posted by oinopaponton at 11:50 AM on February 24, 2010
A gift certificate would be weird unless, as was mentioned earlier, it's somewhere right next to campus or that you happen to know the prof frequents.
There's nothing wrong with giving a small gift, though the thank you note and progress updates are more important.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 12:07 PM on February 24, 2010
There's nothing wrong with giving a small gift, though the thank you note and progress updates are more important.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 12:07 PM on February 24, 2010
One more thing -- as a person with a very untidy office, consumables are much nicer than physical things that I will feel guilty about discarding. I had a student (not in my class) give me homemade vegan cookies once; I was able to share them with my colleagues (we have a lot of dietary restrictions), so I was happy, the student was happy, and my colleagues were happy. Everyone won! Flowers would have been OK (except I have an allergic colleague). A mug might have been a bit of a burden -- I have a lot of mugs. I would have said "thank you," of course, but, still... Maybe a nice red pen to make up for all the ink that was used on your papers.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:17 PM on February 24, 2010
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:17 PM on February 24, 2010
A handwritten note is better in this situation. I would be kind of skeeved out to get a gift card and would probably refuse it, to be honest. I've only been asked to write a handful of these, as I'm at the beginning of my career, but no one has ever given me a cash-value gift.
posted by k8lin at 12:33 PM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by k8lin at 12:33 PM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
I am a professor and I agree with ROU_Xenophobe and K8lin. Writing recommendations is in the job description. I do not expect or want a gift for doing my job. A e-mail update later on is sufficient. Maybe a thank you note, if you must. But even thank you notes weird me out, because I feel like the students don't get what being a professor is all about. That makes me wonder if they know what they're getting into by going to grad school. I might be on the extreme end of the 'no' spectrum, but I don't think this is a good idea regardless of the university's policy.
posted by vincele at 2:23 PM on February 24, 2010
posted by vincele at 2:23 PM on February 24, 2010
A thank-you note can be very valuable to younger faculty, because they can add it to their tenure/promotion dossier. At my school we were directed to include "unsolicited letters from students" and I was very happy that I had kept all those thank-yous for writing recommendation letters, directing independent studies, etc.
posted by philokalia at 2:31 PM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by philokalia at 2:31 PM on February 24, 2010 [2 favorites]
Donating to a charity in his/her name and giving them the printable acknowledgment card might be a better way to go about it, along with a thank you card – it is a the preferred gifting procedure for a couple of my former professors (I asked). Adding them to your Christmas card list is also nice.
posted by halogen at 3:31 PM on February 24, 2010
posted by halogen at 3:31 PM on February 24, 2010
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I say this from the perspective of a person who is friends with a lot of faculty and staff at a university.
I am guessing the rules will be different from institution to institution, but still think she's safe. If the professor can't accept it he won't and you'll still get the benefit of letting him know you cared enough to try.
Go for it.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:47 AM on February 24, 2010