Help Keep my Fetus Quiet
February 23, 2010 7:22 AM Subscribe
Tips and tricks to get my 3rd trimester fetus to settle down at night and let me sleep?
I'm just starting my third trimester, and my baby to be is crazy active, starting around 3am. I wake up every night because she's throwing a party and I can't settle her down.
I have other challenges, although I'm pretty comfortable so far. I do have a little apnea going on, and an ambien prescription.
I hear that you can settle them down, but I can't find any articles about this other than 'oh, yes mommy, it sucks to be you, but it will be better soon'
I know you're not supposed to nap, but I'm a waking zombie - any one win the battle of the frisky fetus?
I'm just starting my third trimester, and my baby to be is crazy active, starting around 3am. I wake up every night because she's throwing a party and I can't settle her down.
I have other challenges, although I'm pretty comfortable so far. I do have a little apnea going on, and an ambien prescription.
I hear that you can settle them down, but I can't find any articles about this other than 'oh, yes mommy, it sucks to be you, but it will be better soon'
I know you're not supposed to nap, but I'm a waking zombie - any one win the battle of the frisky fetus?
you're not supposed to nap
?!?
Nap!
I am not a napper, but I was in the third trimester. It was easy and pleasant to nap. Why not nap?
posted by kmennie at 7:29 AM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
?!?
Nap!
I am not a napper, but I was in the third trimester. It was easy and pleasant to nap. Why not nap?
posted by kmennie at 7:29 AM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
No chocolate after 12 O'clock noon. (just a wild guess!). If that doesn't help maybe you shouldn't eat anything after dinner, 6pm. Nothing with artificial colors after about 3pm (wild guess #2).
Are you overeating? Ask your doctor exactly how many calories you need and stick to it.
posted by cda at 7:32 AM on February 23, 2010
Are you overeating? Ask your doctor exactly how many calories you need and stick to it.
posted by cda at 7:32 AM on February 23, 2010
Where did you hear that you aren't supposed to nap? Napping is a generally considered a good thing for both you & your fetus.
With regards to calming him/her down, you need to move. A 3am walk probably isn't high on your list of things to do (and hopefully others have better suggestions), but will sooth it back to sleep. Fetuses tend to sleep while you're moving, and move around when you are sleeping.
posted by valoius at 7:35 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
With regards to calming him/her down, you need to move. A 3am walk probably isn't high on your list of things to do (and hopefully others have better suggestions), but will sooth it back to sleep. Fetuses tend to sleep while you're moving, and move around when you are sleeping.
posted by valoius at 7:35 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Goodness, woman! NAP!!!!!! Who on earth told you that was a bad idea??? Sleep is, like, a top priority! If you're tired, rest.
As for the bun, movement is likely putting him or her to sleep. So if you move a lot during the day, maybe make efforts to arouse the munchkin with some gentle prodding, cold water, and the likes? I have no idea if this may actually be effective. I kinda get the idea they'll still do as they please, but I do know the wife of a colleague of mine is a floor nurse and on her feet all day. Both times she was pregnant, the babies slept when she was on shift, and as soon as she laid down, they were up and at 'em big time. So maybe encouraging the little one to be more active when you're awake and moving could help? Maybe?
posted by zizzle at 7:42 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
As for the bun, movement is likely putting him or her to sleep. So if you move a lot during the day, maybe make efforts to arouse the munchkin with some gentle prodding, cold water, and the likes? I have no idea if this may actually be effective. I kinda get the idea they'll still do as they please, but I do know the wife of a colleague of mine is a floor nurse and on her feet all day. Both times she was pregnant, the babies slept when she was on shift, and as soon as she laid down, they were up and at 'em big time. So maybe encouraging the little one to be more active when you're awake and moving could help? Maybe?
posted by zizzle at 7:42 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
If it helps, the fetus will get a bit less wiggly as it has less room to move. You're probably at the apex of annoying night time fetus movement, right now.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:42 AM on February 23, 2010
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:42 AM on February 23, 2010
Response by poster: Doctors and 'experts' have all said 'no napping'. I do not overeat (losing weight, actually, since I started out overweight), although I tend to have a protein rich small snack before bed - she's growing so quickly that I'm STARVING. Have limited caffiene to one coffee product before 1pm
posted by beezy at 7:43 AM on February 23, 2010
posted by beezy at 7:43 AM on February 23, 2010
you're not supposed to nap
????????
Where on earth did you hear this. Nap, for heaven's sake. You'll be tired enough after the baby comes - being able to nap when you feel like it is one of the joys of being pregnant.
Please, please nap! Get enough sleep!
posted by anastasiav at 7:44 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
????????
Where on earth did you hear this. Nap, for heaven's sake. You'll be tired enough after the baby comes - being able to nap when you feel like it is one of the joys of being pregnant.
Please, please nap! Get enough sleep!
posted by anastasiav at 7:44 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
What about trying some things you'll be doing once she's born, like rocking, playing soothing music or white noise, or reading aloud? If it works now, hopefully it will also work once she's on the scene keeping the whole house awake instead of just you. :-)
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:47 AM on February 23, 2010
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:47 AM on February 23, 2010
Your doctor said that, or it's something you've read somewhere? And what is the reasoning? No napping during a pregnancy is just impossible. Please have a nap. You'll feel much better.
As to the active fetus in there, like everyone else said, it seems they are lulled to sleep by motion, so in the middle of the night, you're still and it's party time. Just getting up to wander around the house for a few minutes might quiet the little one down.
posted by chiababe at 7:49 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
As to the active fetus in there, like everyone else said, it seems they are lulled to sleep by motion, so in the middle of the night, you're still and it's party time. Just getting up to wander around the house for a few minutes might quiet the little one down.
posted by chiababe at 7:49 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've never heard the no napping advice, and I'm pregnant with #2 now... I'm curious what the reasoning is? I'm at 32 weeks myself and I've been sleeping poorly as well (back pain, general discomfort), and I find naps very refreshing. B/c the pain gets worse after a long night's sleep, shorter naps are actually when I get some very good make-up sleep.
I don't think there's any way to get the baby to calm down; it's often the case that they sleep when you are moving and wake up when you are resting.
Try to do everything else you can to be comfortable, though. Pillow under your mid-section to support your uterus, pillow between your legs to support your back, darkness, quiet... My fetus is a night dancer too, and I manage to ignore it.
You might consider cutting out caffeine altogether. I switched to decaf during my first pregnancy and never looked back. Maybe avoid anything sugary, too.
Good luck with everything!
posted by tk at 7:51 AM on February 23, 2010
I don't think there's any way to get the baby to calm down; it's often the case that they sleep when you are moving and wake up when you are resting.
Try to do everything else you can to be comfortable, though. Pillow under your mid-section to support your uterus, pillow between your legs to support your back, darkness, quiet... My fetus is a night dancer too, and I manage to ignore it.
You might consider cutting out caffeine altogether. I switched to decaf during my first pregnancy and never looked back. Maybe avoid anything sugary, too.
Good luck with everything!
posted by tk at 7:51 AM on February 23, 2010
You're gonna have to sleep when the baby sleeps for the next year, FYI.
posted by unixrat at 7:55 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by unixrat at 7:55 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
No napping is often used in pain management to help you sleep through the night, but though IAMNAD - surely when there is someone inside you stopping you sleeping through the night, maybe napping seems like a good idea? Could you at least talk to your doctor about this again? And good luck with everything!
posted by Augenblick at 7:56 AM on February 23, 2010
posted by Augenblick at 7:56 AM on February 23, 2010
I suspect the No Napping advice is due to problems with insomnia (hence the Ambien). If you are unable to sleep at night because of general insomnia, that's good advice. But if you are unable to sleep at night just because someone is repeatedly kicking your stomach, napping during the day is a very good idea.
As far as getting the baby to settle down at night, you may be out of luck. They're active when they're active. And, sadly, babies who are more active at night in utero are pretty likely to be active at night after birth too, so it might be a while before you get much sleep at night.
To increase your general sleeping comfort level, you can try lying on your left side with a pillow between your knees (body pillows can be awesome during pregnancy). Make sure you limit your fluids in the evening and empty your bladder before bed - even if you're not getting up to pee, an empty bladder gives the baby a bit more space. Getting up to walk around a bit when the baby starts wiggling may or may not stop the activity, but it will keep you from lying in bed getting frustrated (and more awake) during the baby aerobics.
posted by Dojie at 8:03 AM on February 23, 2010
As far as getting the baby to settle down at night, you may be out of luck. They're active when they're active. And, sadly, babies who are more active at night in utero are pretty likely to be active at night after birth too, so it might be a while before you get much sleep at night.
To increase your general sleeping comfort level, you can try lying on your left side with a pillow between your knees (body pillows can be awesome during pregnancy). Make sure you limit your fluids in the evening and empty your bladder before bed - even if you're not getting up to pee, an empty bladder gives the baby a bit more space. Getting up to walk around a bit when the baby starts wiggling may or may not stop the activity, but it will keep you from lying in bed getting frustrated (and more awake) during the baby aerobics.
posted by Dojie at 8:03 AM on February 23, 2010
A grandma speaking here: honey, you shouldn't be starving! You need to discuss this with doc! Hunger is stressful, you don't need stress, nor does the babe.
I remember taking long baths every evening, that definitely helped. Sometimes in the last month I'd get up in the middle of the night because I was so uncomfortable and take one. I had one of those old comfy deep cast iron tubs. It probably soothed the baby. I often fell asleep in the tub, bliss.
posted by mareli at 8:15 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
I remember taking long baths every evening, that definitely helped. Sometimes in the last month I'd get up in the middle of the night because I was so uncomfortable and take one. I had one of those old comfy deep cast iron tubs. It probably soothed the baby. I often fell asleep in the tub, bliss.
posted by mareli at 8:15 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Nap! If you're over 40 and pregnant, they'll often actually "prescribe" you two naps a day!
In my 7th and 8th month I had to sack out for about an hour every afternoon around 4, and I have NEVER been a napper, not even during the newborn sleep deprivation.
Sometimes changing what you eat can change the baby's activity level; a lot of my friends found orange juice or very sugary food woke up the fetus, for example. Personally I just lay there and got kicked a lot, but it did work for some of my friends.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:18 AM on February 23, 2010
In my 7th and 8th month I had to sack out for about an hour every afternoon around 4, and I have NEVER been a napper, not even during the newborn sleep deprivation.
Sometimes changing what you eat can change the baby's activity level; a lot of my friends found orange juice or very sugary food woke up the fetus, for example. Personally I just lay there and got kicked a lot, but it did work for some of my friends.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:18 AM on February 23, 2010
Does anyone have a link to an "expert" telling pregnant women not to nap? This is my first time hearing about it, and every expecting mom I've met (quite a few) does it if they can. Where's the hazard, exactly? I'm curious.
posted by Citrus at 8:23 AM on February 23, 2010
posted by Citrus at 8:23 AM on February 23, 2010
Getting up and walking around may help. I was on my feet a lot during my first pregnancy and the baby would keep me up all night kicking. My doc told me that my walking around during the day could be 'rocking' the baby to sleep. So if I felt the baby slow down during the day I would drink some orange juice or something really cold to kind of rev the baby up. Then after dinner hubby and I would take a walk. It seemed to help settle her down. Of course my problem was falling asleep, so YMMV.
Maybe you could get up, drink some warm milk and walk around a bit?
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:27 AM on February 23, 2010
Maybe you could get up, drink some warm milk and walk around a bit?
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:27 AM on February 23, 2010
Listen to your body! Nap, and for goodness sake don't let yourself get starving. Eat! Just eat healthily. But being over-tired and hungry are both physiological and psychological stressors that you just don't need right now.
posted by gaspode at 8:35 AM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by gaspode at 8:35 AM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
We used to read to our baby when she was still inside when it was time to go to sleep. You could try reading a bed time story to see if they would be calmed by your voice / story.
Singing a lullaby might calm them down as well.
posted by bottlebrushtree at 8:36 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Singing a lullaby might calm them down as well.
posted by bottlebrushtree at 8:36 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
she's growing so quickly that I'm STARVING.
I have to say, combined with the no napping thing, I think perhaps you're getting some ... lets say "not great" medical advice. If you're hungry, eat. You're pregnant. I know there are MDs out there who advise "overweight" (or just high BMI) moms to restrict their diet in order to control weight gain, but its not even close to mainstream advice. By your 3rd trimester you should not be losing weight - at the MOST you should be maintaining a stable weight, and slight weight gain is FINE. FINE.
Eating when you're hungry is going to keep you strong and help to ensure that the baby is getting all the nutrients s/he needs.
Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, until you're full. Sleep when you're tired.
And, frankly - maybe talk to a different OB and get a second opinion on a lot of this. You're making yourself needlessly miserable.
posted by anastasiav at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2010 [14 favorites]
I have to say, combined with the no napping thing, I think perhaps you're getting some ... lets say "not great" medical advice. If you're hungry, eat. You're pregnant. I know there are MDs out there who advise "overweight" (or just high BMI) moms to restrict their diet in order to control weight gain, but its not even close to mainstream advice. By your 3rd trimester you should not be losing weight - at the MOST you should be maintaining a stable weight, and slight weight gain is FINE. FINE.
Eating when you're hungry is going to keep you strong and help to ensure that the baby is getting all the nutrients s/he needs.
Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, until you're full. Sleep when you're tired.
And, frankly - maybe talk to a different OB and get a second opinion on a lot of this. You're making yourself needlessly miserable.
posted by anastasiav at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2010 [14 favorites]
I was about to jump on the "no napping is crazy advice" bandwagon but it occurred to me that maybe that's advice related to the Ambien prescription she mentioned, not the pregnancy.
But yeah, NAP!
posted by ellenaim at 9:03 AM on February 23, 2010
But yeah, NAP!
posted by ellenaim at 9:03 AM on February 23, 2010
There's a great learning experience here about how sometimes doctor's advice (when it comes to pregnancy and child-rearing) is just that - advice. You an safely ignore it, if it is not medically necessary (i.e. use common sense and don't ignore instructions on medical matters). Nap, if you're tired. You're not going to sleep through the night in the third trimester, because baby movement, baby lying on bladder and general OMG I am gigantic discomfort will keep you awake. So nap. Be nice to yourself, it will not harm you or the baby if you nap, so feel free to do it.
And if you are hungry - eat. Eat healthily, but eat. So don't fill up on chocolate and cake, but eat some PB on crackers, or an apple, or scrambled eggs or whatever. I don't know your situation to know whether losing weight is OK or not (generally it isn't in the 3rd trimester, but you may be different), but you certainly need to feed your body in order for your body to feed your baby.
After the baby is born and you start hearing advice from the pediatrician on how to be a parent, you will be better prepared for ignoring that advice and doing what works for you and the baby (again, I'm not talking about medical advice here, but I keep having to throw that disclaimer in).
posted by Joh at 10:40 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
And if you are hungry - eat. Eat healthily, but eat. So don't fill up on chocolate and cake, but eat some PB on crackers, or an apple, or scrambled eggs or whatever. I don't know your situation to know whether losing weight is OK or not (generally it isn't in the 3rd trimester, but you may be different), but you certainly need to feed your body in order for your body to feed your baby.
After the baby is born and you start hearing advice from the pediatrician on how to be a parent, you will be better prepared for ignoring that advice and doing what works for you and the baby (again, I'm not talking about medical advice here, but I keep having to throw that disclaimer in).
posted by Joh at 10:40 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm only at the end of my 1st trimester, and my doc (and other smarty-pants medical people) have all recommended naps to keep body & mind healthy and the baby free of stress hormones, and, in fact, warned me that I may want to set a regular naptime in the 3rd trimester (I'm not usually a good or willing sleeper).
Second opinion, perhaps?
posted by batmonkey at 10:52 AM on February 23, 2010
Second opinion, perhaps?
posted by batmonkey at 10:52 AM on February 23, 2010
Fetus sleeps while you're awake because it's lulled to sleep by your movements. Fetus is awake when you're asleep because it's bored.
So....hmmm...sleep in a hammock?
posted by pyjammy at 11:29 AM on February 23, 2010
So....hmmm...sleep in a hammock?
posted by pyjammy at 11:29 AM on February 23, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I am in the process of changing OBs, b/c I agree mine is useless. I have had a nap, and now chowing on a big tuna sandwich (yes, I know about mercury, but the craving is strong).
posted by beezy at 12:19 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by beezy at 12:19 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
glad to hear it! I don't think you've been getting the greatest advice.
seriously I know they say the baby will perk up when you eat, but mine seems to sometimes get restless when I am hungry. So try the midnight snack thing if s/he is waking you up!
posted by miss tea at 1:18 PM on February 23, 2010
seriously I know they say the baby will perk up when you eat, but mine seems to sometimes get restless when I am hungry. So try the midnight snack thing if s/he is waking you up!
posted by miss tea at 1:18 PM on February 23, 2010
Have you considered a midwife? I got much better care from them than I did from docs, so did my two daughters-in-law. Some work in offices with doctors, some have separate practices but are affiliated with doctors.
posted by mareli at 3:29 PM on February 23, 2010
posted by mareli at 3:29 PM on February 23, 2010
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Who told you not to nap? If you're tired I don't see why that would be a bad idea.
posted by miss tea at 7:29 AM on February 23, 2010