factors in moving urban to "near" suburban
February 7, 2010 10:02 AM Subscribe
considering move from central location in large city to edge of large city - within limits but nearly suburban. while homes here have amenities we desire in our price range - we are very very concerned about being away from things we rely on - proximity, nightlife, restaurants. how do people make this decision?
help us weigh considerations between living centrally in a big city with friends, nightlife, dining and proximity to shopping and the like to moving on edge of city where we can get the home we like without many compromises (except location). feels suburban and distant in every way from urban living. i know many people with children eventually make move to suburban from urban after children, we are having a really hard time with the decision. what factors do we weigh? schools are not a concern. work commute also not really a consideration - we work mostly from home. everyone says location, location, location but how does one decide between location and compromising on home features? we have to move VERY soon and are paralyzed with indecision.
help us weigh considerations between living centrally in a big city with friends, nightlife, dining and proximity to shopping and the like to moving on edge of city where we can get the home we like without many compromises (except location). feels suburban and distant in every way from urban living. i know many people with children eventually make move to suburban from urban after children, we are having a really hard time with the decision. what factors do we weigh? schools are not a concern. work commute also not really a consideration - we work mostly from home. everyone says location, location, location but how does one decide between location and compromising on home features? we have to move VERY soon and are paralyzed with indecision.
This is impossible to answer without knowing where you are. I could give you my thoughts based on Chicago, but if you're talking about London or Houston, they'd be worthless. My generic thought is if I didn't have to worry about commuting or kids, I'd stay in the central city and give up the amenities, but I don't even know to what amenities you're referring.
posted by desjardins at 10:10 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by desjardins at 10:10 AM on February 7, 2010
I would try to focus on what is really important to you (as opposed to your friends, parents, peer group, what you think you "should be doing," etc. (not that you're doing this, just as a way to get clarity)). For me, I would live in a tiny studio in a city rather than a three-bedroom house in the near-suburbs. (In fact, I've tried the near-suburbs (for a relationship), and wanted to die. Came back to the city post-relationship.) But other people really enjoy having rooms and nice furniture and space for grown-up parties and house guests. It can be really nice. Strokes, folks.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:12 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:12 AM on February 7, 2010
Response by poster: home amenities i refer to - open floor plan, square footage, upgraded kitchen and baths. we are not fixer-uppers and staying more central means no spare cash to make improvements. does this matter?
posted by dublin at 10:13 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by dublin at 10:13 AM on February 7, 2010
Having done this last year, well, I have a mixed opinion. I moved from a cramped apartment in Wicker Park/Bucktown to a much larger loft in Andersonville. I looked at lots and lots of places closer to downtown, and in our price range, I got nearly double the size by moving this far north. While I love the neighborhood up here (plenty of restaurants and bars within a few blocks), I definitely feel more disconnected from the city life. Friends who live closer to downtown often invite me to things, and I have to build in a late night cab home or 45 minutes on the red line, which puts a damper on my ability to be spontaneous.
posted by Oktober at 10:18 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by Oktober at 10:18 AM on February 7, 2010
How much do you use things X, Y, and Z in the central city? How much would you use things A, B, and C on the edge?
I have friends who say, "I could never live away from the nightlife!" and I point out, "You haven't gone out in six week!" "I know, but I know it's THERE!" On the other hand, what would you do with the open floor plan (be happier? feel brighter? (I know I do) throw parties?)? What would you do with the square footage? Would it add to your life, or would you just store a bunch of stuff you don't use anyway? Do you need an upgraded kitchen because you cook? Do you just like the IDEA of the city things or the edge things, or are these things your life actually needs? Sort of what ClaudiaCenter said.
I ended up moving to a much smaller city than I ever thought I'd live in with my husband, and it turns out I love it. I always pictured myself as a city girl in a cool apartment going out a lot, but it turned out when I was let loose in a small city with a cute (but bitty) house, I throw awesome dinner parties and love to garden. Who knew? Which doesn't really help with YOUR decision because I DIDN'T know I'd be happy here, but I was definitely hesitant and it turned out okay for me.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:25 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I have friends who say, "I could never live away from the nightlife!" and I point out, "You haven't gone out in six week!" "I know, but I know it's THERE!" On the other hand, what would you do with the open floor plan (be happier? feel brighter? (I know I do) throw parties?)? What would you do with the square footage? Would it add to your life, or would you just store a bunch of stuff you don't use anyway? Do you need an upgraded kitchen because you cook? Do you just like the IDEA of the city things or the edge things, or are these things your life actually needs? Sort of what ClaudiaCenter said.
I ended up moving to a much smaller city than I ever thought I'd live in with my husband, and it turns out I love it. I always pictured myself as a city girl in a cool apartment going out a lot, but it turned out when I was let loose in a small city with a cute (but bitty) house, I throw awesome dinner parties and love to garden. Who knew? Which doesn't really help with YOUR decision because I DIDN'T know I'd be happy here, but I was definitely hesitant and it turned out okay for me.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:25 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
We did this about 6 months ago because we were sick of apt/downtown (NYC) living, love it and don't regret it, but it is a different lifestyle.
We save a lot on rent and going out which is nice, and going out in the city is more of an exciting date night then it was.
If that sounds appealing to you go for it. If not, reconsider.
posted by cestmoi15 at 10:31 AM on February 7, 2010
We save a lot on rent and going out which is nice, and going out in the city is more of an exciting date night then it was.
If that sounds appealing to you go for it. If not, reconsider.
posted by cestmoi15 at 10:31 AM on February 7, 2010
It really depends on your lifestyle - how much time do you spend at home? How much time do you anticipate spending at home over the next few years? If I worked at home, then yes, I would prefer to have those amenities instead of a kitchen I was never quite happy with. If I liked to go out with friends three times a week, I'd prefer to live near them and near restaurants. When I was single, I liked living downtown; since I've been married I've preferred having a bigger apartment in a quieter locale. But we're homebodies; we don't like bars and rarely go to the theater, etc.
Chicago has a pretty decent public transportation system as these things go (although I know CTA service cuts go into effect today). So depending on where you're thinking about moving, you can still get into the city. Driving into the city is absolutely horrid, so if you want to go out for dinner with friends, you're going to have to factor in additional time to get there. Parking is expensive. You probably already know all of this. Like Oktober said, you give up some spontaneity.
Benefits to the suburbs - it's easier to go to a big box store and load up on groceries and whatnot. Lower crime. Lower taxes (if you're outside of Cook County). Hrm, that's about it. I can personally attest that you'll get good radio reception for NPR all the way to the Wisconsin border.
For reference, I have lived in Oak Park (near suburb) and Island Lake (very far suburb) and worked in Hoffman Estates (kinda far suburb). I now live just south of downtown Milwaukee, but the housing prices are very different here.
posted by desjardins at 10:37 AM on February 7, 2010
Chicago has a pretty decent public transportation system as these things go (although I know CTA service cuts go into effect today). So depending on where you're thinking about moving, you can still get into the city. Driving into the city is absolutely horrid, so if you want to go out for dinner with friends, you're going to have to factor in additional time to get there. Parking is expensive. You probably already know all of this. Like Oktober said, you give up some spontaneity.
Benefits to the suburbs - it's easier to go to a big box store and load up on groceries and whatnot. Lower crime. Lower taxes (if you're outside of Cook County). Hrm, that's about it. I can personally attest that you'll get good radio reception for NPR all the way to the Wisconsin border.
For reference, I have lived in Oak Park (near suburb) and Island Lake (very far suburb) and worked in Hoffman Estates (kinda far suburb). I now live just south of downtown Milwaukee, but the housing prices are very different here.
posted by desjardins at 10:37 AM on February 7, 2010
Are you buying or renting? If buying, why not rent a while to see how you like it? If renting, take a short lease - you can always move back to urban life if it turns out not to fit.
posted by freya_lamb at 10:37 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by freya_lamb at 10:37 AM on February 7, 2010
We tried a similar thing. We lived downtown for 17 years and for many pragmatic reasons, we attempted a move to a middle ring suburb. After two years, we're back downtown.
The positives: Awesome sunny yard that provided enough space for a REAL food garden. Incredible pastoral context, with lots of interesting suburban wildlife (foxes, raptors, raccoons, coyotes, birds). Functioning fireplace. Cool 50's modern architecture.
The negatives: An HOA with an insane person on the board, my lawn became a measure of my worth as human being. A ridiculous increase in the amount of driving. "Nice" neighbors who cared entirely too much about their property values.
Short answer- place good, people bad. As soon as I moved back downtown, I lost 5 pounds just from walking around more.
Also, we raised two children in the central city. They love it too. Ironically, we find downtown life to be way more private.
This isn't Chicago, however. It's Denver.
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 11:03 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
The positives: Awesome sunny yard that provided enough space for a REAL food garden. Incredible pastoral context, with lots of interesting suburban wildlife (foxes, raptors, raccoons, coyotes, birds). Functioning fireplace. Cool 50's modern architecture.
The negatives: An HOA with an insane person on the board, my lawn became a measure of my worth as human being. A ridiculous increase in the amount of driving. "Nice" neighbors who cared entirely too much about their property values.
Short answer- place good, people bad. As soon as I moved back downtown, I lost 5 pounds just from walking around more.
Also, we raised two children in the central city. They love it too. Ironically, we find downtown life to be way more private.
This isn't Chicago, however. It's Denver.
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 11:03 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
It probably also depends on which edge of the city you're moving to-- I live in Hyde Park, and it's really frustrating. I love being able to walk everywhere in my neighborhood, and it's convenient that most of my friends live nearby, but it also means that I almost never see my friends that live on the north side, and I don't go out as much as I'd like to. If I want to go see a show in the evening, I have to leave half an hour to an hour and a half before I want to get there, and if I'm out too late, it can take me two hours to get home or cost me $15 for a cab from the loop. If you're looking at a neighborhood that has good CTA service, or you're comfortable paying for cabs semi-regularly, that might not be as much of a problem.
posted by dizziest at 11:15 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by dizziest at 11:15 AM on February 7, 2010
Sit down and make an Opportunities/Constraints list for both places. Then really dig in and evaluate those things: for instance, if in Opprtunities in the new place you put "vegetable garden", think about the reality of that. will you have the time, the space in the sun, the willingness to cook? How do those things stack up against something like "no nightlife" or "proximity to cafes"?
posted by oneirodynia at 11:33 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by oneirodynia at 11:33 AM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Your friends will NOT visit you. No matter how convenient the public transit there is a psychological barrier to visit people on the edge. This may or may not upset you. Also, demographically, how lives there already. If everyone else in the neighbourhood is chasing after children and you don't have any you won't integrate in their social lives (because, frankly, for many parents their social circle becomes the parents of their children's playmates).
posted by saucysault at 11:56 AM on February 7, 2010
posted by saucysault at 11:56 AM on February 7, 2010
Yeah, I've got to largely agree with SaucySault. Other than the housewarming party we had, the only friends we've had over are ones that already live in the neighborhood. Friends that I would see two or three times a week when I lived a few blocks away now get seen maybe twice a month.
posted by Oktober at 12:14 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by Oktober at 12:14 PM on February 7, 2010
I am one of those that moved to suburbia for the kids. Youngest is a high school senior this year. We are moving back to the city as soon as get her packed up and off to college. Things I love about the suburbs: big yard, gardening as a hobby, family-oriented activities that are very close to home, very low crime rate, good neighbors, good public schools that saved us a fortune over the years. Things I hate about the suburbs: lack of diversity, much more conservative populace, too far away from friends and cultural activities, big yard is big work. If we had to do it all over again, I think we would have carved out an oasis in the city to live, work, and raise the family.
It just depends on how you want to live your life. You can make your personal environment comfortable no matter where you are.
posted by raisingsand at 12:29 PM on February 7, 2010
It just depends on how you want to live your life. You can make your personal environment comfortable no matter where you are.
posted by raisingsand at 12:29 PM on February 7, 2010
I have some friends who moved to one of those far-enough-away-for-a-psychological divide neighbourhoods (on the east side of the Don Valley in Toronto), and even though it's really not very far, they seem absurdly grateful every time we come over to their place. Saucysault and Oktober are onto something.
posted by Beardman at 12:36 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by Beardman at 12:36 PM on February 7, 2010
What is the smallest definition of civilization you can live with? For me, I have to be able to walk out my front door and buy a cup of coffee and a paper. Anywhere I've been able to do that, I've been happy. When we lived in a neighbourhood where I couldn't do that - even though it was city centre - I hated it.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:38 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by DarlingBri at 12:38 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Nthing that your friends will not come visit you, and if they do, it'll be a special occasion. I have too many friends who moved out to the burbs who seriously underestimated this aspect.
Make your pros and cons list. And be really honest with yourself. Don't let people talk you into devaluing things that you like and don't let people assign enormous value to things that aren't really that important to you. There's a lot of defensiveness and projection when people talk about where they choose to live.
Myself, I couldn't do it. We're happily ensconced in an urban neighborhood and nothing could convince us to move; we totally accept the cons of living here. If wish I had a dollar for every time a suburban-dweller went on and on about: how terrible it must be to live in a house with only one small bathroom (eh, doesn't bother us a whit), how bad the schools are (we don't have kids), the alleged superiority of in-ground gardening vs container gardening (guess who actually ate out of her garden from May-Oct?), and a hundred other things that are non-issues to us.
posted by desuetude at 1:03 PM on February 7, 2010
Make your pros and cons list. And be really honest with yourself. Don't let people talk you into devaluing things that you like and don't let people assign enormous value to things that aren't really that important to you. There's a lot of defensiveness and projection when people talk about where they choose to live.
Myself, I couldn't do it. We're happily ensconced in an urban neighborhood and nothing could convince us to move; we totally accept the cons of living here. If wish I had a dollar for every time a suburban-dweller went on and on about: how terrible it must be to live in a house with only one small bathroom (eh, doesn't bother us a whit), how bad the schools are (we don't have kids), the alleged superiority of in-ground gardening vs container gardening (guess who actually ate out of her garden from May-Oct?), and a hundred other things that are non-issues to us.
posted by desuetude at 1:03 PM on February 7, 2010
Things that have been important to me but might not be important to you: access to places that are important to me (library two blocks away, grocery store four blocks away, restaurants are four blocks away), access to public transportation to take me downtown (bus stop is a couple of blocks away, light rail stop is a 5 minute drive away, direct bus to airport is 10 minute drive away), access to parks (for running and walking the dog) and access to open space (not too much longer of a drive for me than living on the other side of the city. Also, my neighborhood is clean, safe and has low traffic -- these are all important to me.
So, I think you need to make a list of what is important to you and what you will be giving up and what you will be gaining.
posted by fieldtrip at 2:36 PM on February 7, 2010
So, I think you need to make a list of what is important to you and what you will be giving up and what you will be gaining.
posted by fieldtrip at 2:36 PM on February 7, 2010
Nobody will visit you (I lived in North Sydney/Lavender Bay/Neutral Bay for years before moving to inner-city Darlinghurst). But more imprtantly, if you leave your house at 11:00am, you've got to bring everything you'll need until 11:00am *the next day*. There's no, "Oh, I'll just have a shower on the way home from the beach and meet you all in the pub in half an hour". Any round-trip involving public transport takes three hours, minimum.
posted by m1ndsurfer at 4:14 PM on February 8, 2010
posted by m1ndsurfer at 4:14 PM on February 8, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by decathecting at 10:03 AM on February 7, 2010