What will make this act more appealing?
January 26, 2010 8:50 PM Subscribe
My partner wants to perform a certain act on me. I would like to make it easier (possibly nsfw)
It would make me deliriously happy if my spouse were to lick a certain delicate part during sex. Said spouse wants to be good, giving, and game, but the fact that the part has a certain mild odor, even when freshly washed, makes makes my partner squeamish. Can you folks think of a substance I can put on myself that would mask the odor and provide a pleasant taste for my lover, to make this act more enticing? Preferably not flavored lube, which really doesn't have an appealing taste or texture, and preferably not something sticky.
It would make me deliriously happy if my spouse were to lick a certain delicate part during sex. Said spouse wants to be good, giving, and game, but the fact that the part has a certain mild odor, even when freshly washed, makes makes my partner squeamish. Can you folks think of a substance I can put on myself that would mask the odor and provide a pleasant taste for my lover, to make this act more enticing? Preferably not flavored lube, which really doesn't have an appealing taste or texture, and preferably not something sticky.
I... uh... your question seems to imply that you guys want to engage in some boundary-pushing or slightly kinky activity except it also seems to suggest that you're talking about him going down on you. Which I'm having a hard time reconciling since that is basically standard in this day and age and it would be seen as pretty weird and ultra conservative to refuse such a thing. Maybe you're talking about the, uh, butt region? In which case I can't help you 'cause I have no idea.
Assuming you're talking about plain ol' vanilla oral sex (and you should probably be able to say the words anonymously if you're going to engage in the activity) well, your partner should probably just get over his squeamishness. Or there are plenty of people who will. That said, I dunno... scented soap maybe? I mean, a tiny dab of perfume is probably traditional but I don't know what that would do to the taste.
I guess you could try a scented dental dam. I have to admit I've never even seen a dental dam or know anybody who has actually used one.
posted by Justinian at 8:59 PM on January 26, 2010 [5 favorites]
Assuming you're talking about plain ol' vanilla oral sex (and you should probably be able to say the words anonymously if you're going to engage in the activity) well, your partner should probably just get over his squeamishness. Or there are plenty of people who will. That said, I dunno... scented soap maybe? I mean, a tiny dab of perfume is probably traditional but I don't know what that would do to the taste.
I guess you could try a scented dental dam. I have to admit I've never even seen a dental dam or know anybody who has actually used one.
posted by Justinian at 8:59 PM on January 26, 2010 [5 favorites]
I'm presuming you're a woman who wants cunnilingus. I have to presume, because you could be a man who wants his ass licked, and you're not at all clear on the subject. And the answers one might offer are consequently quite different.
But if you are a woman who wants her man to go down on her, check out Sweet Spot. pH-balanced intimate cleansing products for women. Because when your vagina is out of pH balance, it can develop odors even when you're washing regularly. When it's within it's proper pH range, the vagina takes care of itself.
Lexi uses the unscented, and a healthy "kitty" is a joy to go down on. They've even got portable spray units and wipes to keep in your purse/bag/etc if you're out-&-about and need to get some oral lovin' now. Don't go for perfumes or things that just "mask" the odor.
Don't douche. Ever. All kinds of badness and fail lies down that path.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 9:03 PM on January 26, 2010
But if you are a woman who wants her man to go down on her, check out Sweet Spot. pH-balanced intimate cleansing products for women. Because when your vagina is out of pH balance, it can develop odors even when you're washing regularly. When it's within it's proper pH range, the vagina takes care of itself.
Lexi uses the unscented, and a healthy "kitty" is a joy to go down on. They've even got portable spray units and wipes to keep in your purse/bag/etc if you're out-&-about and need to get some oral lovin' now. Don't go for perfumes or things that just "mask" the odor.
Don't douche. Ever. All kinds of badness and fail lies down that path.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 9:03 PM on January 26, 2010
Champagne! Pleasant taste, and the bubbles and chill might provide a nice sensation for you. Plus, the liquor will get you both in the mood and lower inhibitions a bit.
posted by Night_owl at 9:05 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 9:05 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Have you OR your partner suck on an Altoid first. The peppermint oil is strong enough to actually flavor those regions for an hour or so, and it would also overpower any natural scent.
Do NOT have partner engage with Altoid still in mouth. Direct Altoid application = burning.
posted by medea42 at 9:10 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Do NOT have partner engage with Altoid still in mouth. Direct Altoid application = burning.
posted by medea42 at 9:10 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Pardon me for getting all specific on you. I am thinking something with a v as opposed to an a.
If your v has a scent that your partner has a problem with... Well, let's just say that I have rarely met a v with a scent that I didn't like that didn't have a... well... issue.
All of them smell and taste wonderful to me. Perhaps your partner has a problem with the whole concept of licking that part in general.
I do recall that the first time that I used my tongue there, on my first girlfriend, I was surprised at the liquid that flowed from there. So I have to ask you. You say spouse. How, um, experienced, is your spouse. At that, so to speak.
Damn, it's hard to explain.
I have always enjoyed that thing. But maybe your spouse has not had much experience there. You might explain to them that a certain scent is not only normal, but necessary for the usual functioning of that delicate body part.
I wouldn't go about covering up the scent from that area. I'd prefer that the partner got used to it. Maybe by using a finger inserted and then licked.
Then using the discussion of the scent as a jumping off point to discussion of the scent of the nether regions of the significant other.
Or perhaps the liquid that comes from his (or her) own delicate parts.
Sex is a journey, take the road. Even the bumps can tell a story.
Sorry if I was too obtuse. I have a road to lick now.
Good luck!
posted by Splunge at 9:17 PM on January 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
If your v has a scent that your partner has a problem with... Well, let's just say that I have rarely met a v with a scent that I didn't like that didn't have a... well... issue.
All of them smell and taste wonderful to me. Perhaps your partner has a problem with the whole concept of licking that part in general.
I do recall that the first time that I used my tongue there, on my first girlfriend, I was surprised at the liquid that flowed from there. So I have to ask you. You say spouse. How, um, experienced, is your spouse. At that, so to speak.
Damn, it's hard to explain.
I have always enjoyed that thing. But maybe your spouse has not had much experience there. You might explain to them that a certain scent is not only normal, but necessary for the usual functioning of that delicate body part.
I wouldn't go about covering up the scent from that area. I'd prefer that the partner got used to it. Maybe by using a finger inserted and then licked.
Then using the discussion of the scent as a jumping off point to discussion of the scent of the nether regions of the significant other.
Or perhaps the liquid that comes from his (or her) own delicate parts.
Sex is a journey, take the road. Even the bumps can tell a story.
Sorry if I was too obtuse. I have a road to lick now.
Good luck!
posted by Splunge at 9:17 PM on January 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
If the part in question is vaginal, nothing with sugars. The resulting yeast infection will make the smell issue worse.
If the part in question is anal, nothing with alcohol. The rectal tissues will absorb the alcohol directly into your system. It's a much stronger, faster effect than the one that comes filtered through the front end of the digestive system. No point gambling on alcohol poisoning just to make something smell nicer.
You have had the odor checked by a doctor, right? The common reason for either part to be too smelly to go down on is ill health. Not a given, but start by eliminating the obvious explanation.
If he's willing to consider a dam, saran wrap likely would offer better odor containment. He can wrap a wide swath around the general region and then go to town. With a generous dollop of lube between you and the saran, it'll transfer a lot of that sensation.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 9:23 PM on January 26, 2010
If the part in question is anal, nothing with alcohol. The rectal tissues will absorb the alcohol directly into your system. It's a much stronger, faster effect than the one that comes filtered through the front end of the digestive system. No point gambling on alcohol poisoning just to make something smell nicer.
You have had the odor checked by a doctor, right? The common reason for either part to be too smelly to go down on is ill health. Not a given, but start by eliminating the obvious explanation.
If he's willing to consider a dam, saran wrap likely would offer better odor containment. He can wrap a wide swath around the general region and then go to town. With a generous dollop of lube between you and the saran, it'll transfer a lot of that sensation.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 9:23 PM on January 26, 2010
Based on your "ggg" tag, I can't help but wonder if this is you too. Are you and your partner both females? That would at least narrow down some of the possibilities.
posted by katillathehun at 9:26 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by katillathehun at 9:26 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
Champagne! Pleasant taste, and the bubbles and chill might provide a nice sensation for you. Plus, the liquor will get you both in the mood and lower inhibitions a bit.
While I appreciate the adventurous spirit of this suggestion, I am going to caution you away from applying anything sugar-based to any "delicate part", regardless of its relative location within your pants. Bad news for your delicate body chemistry, and a good way to wind up on a course of antibiotics. I mean, I ASSUME. Not like I'd know or anything. (DONOTDOTHISSERIOUSLY)
posted by anonnymoose at 9:27 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
While I appreciate the adventurous spirit of this suggestion, I am going to caution you away from applying anything sugar-based to any "delicate part", regardless of its relative location within your pants. Bad news for your delicate body chemistry, and a good way to wind up on a course of antibiotics. I mean, I ASSUME. Not like I'd know or anything. (DONOTDOTHISSERIOUSLY)
posted by anonnymoose at 9:27 PM on January 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Clarification: "nothing with sugars", includes champagne and an unfortunate number of flavored lubes. Glycerin, a common lube ingredient, is a glucose derivative. Agh.
Here's more info on the rectal alcohol risk.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 9:31 PM on January 26, 2010
Here's more info on the rectal alcohol risk.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 9:31 PM on January 26, 2010
I'm presuming you're a woman who wants cunnilingus. I have to presume, because you could be a man who wants his ass licked, and you're not at all clear on the subject.
I suspect it's someone of either sex who wants to get rimmed. A dental dam should take care of the taste; if you don't want to go to the trouble of finding dental dams, cut the ends off of an unlubricated condom, then cut it down the side and use the resulting latex rectangle...you know, appropriately. You can also use plastic wrap in a pinch.
Also, if you've got hair in the area, removing it will cut down on lingering smells from butt sweat/anal mucus/whatever it is that goes on in that area. If we're indeed talking about butts here, waxing might be preferable to shaving.
If you are talking about cunnilingus, you might want to avoid pouring champagne on the area. There's enough sugar in it to lead to a yeast infection. Also, don't use anything oil-based on either your vagina or anus if you're planning on using latex condoms for intercourse afterwards.
One last suggestion: wash with Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap. It tingles in a good way and makes almost any body part temporarily delicious.
posted by thisjax at 9:31 PM on January 26, 2010
I suspect it's someone of either sex who wants to get rimmed. A dental dam should take care of the taste; if you don't want to go to the trouble of finding dental dams, cut the ends off of an unlubricated condom, then cut it down the side and use the resulting latex rectangle...you know, appropriately. You can also use plastic wrap in a pinch.
Also, if you've got hair in the area, removing it will cut down on lingering smells from butt sweat/anal mucus/whatever it is that goes on in that area. If we're indeed talking about butts here, waxing might be preferable to shaving.
If you are talking about cunnilingus, you might want to avoid pouring champagne on the area. There's enough sugar in it to lead to a yeast infection. Also, don't use anything oil-based on either your vagina or anus if you're planning on using latex condoms for intercourse afterwards.
One last suggestion: wash with Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap. It tingles in a good way and makes almost any body part temporarily delicious.
posted by thisjax at 9:31 PM on January 26, 2010
Putting perfume on your genitals can really hurt. There are plenty of products designed for sex. What part of the body IS this question about, though?
posted by BibiRose at 9:33 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by BibiRose at 9:33 PM on January 26, 2010
Vanilla essential oil. Vanilla can mask almost anything.
posted by chairface at 9:33 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by chairface at 9:33 PM on January 26, 2010
Eat no dairy; drink lots of water. At least 8 glasses a day. All the toxins you consume and absorb come out your skin. Reduce refined sugars, red meat and alcohol too, if you can.
This should help make any and all parts delightfully lickable, delicate or not.
Oh, also, if you can regularly wax this area, that will help. (yes, you can get it waxed, whatever it is. They won't even bat an eye, they've done it a million times before I swear.)
posted by iamkimiam at 9:36 PM on January 26, 2010
This should help make any and all parts delightfully lickable, delicate or not.
Oh, also, if you can regularly wax this area, that will help. (yes, you can get it waxed, whatever it is. They won't even bat an eye, they've done it a million times before I swear.)
posted by iamkimiam at 9:36 PM on January 26, 2010
Tripling the "for the love of God no" on the Champagne.
And to offer a bit of defense for your partner (she said, turning to the room), look, some people just don't dig some things. The fact that the partner is icked out by doing something is not necessarily a sign that the partner in question is The Most Selfish And Repressed Person Evar Omigod. After all, the OP is in here because the partner is going to try performing this act EVEN THOUGH they are a little discomfited. Which, personally, I think is commendable.
those who've said "go to the doctor to be sure" are right. Our bodies don't all naturally smell like flowers or anything, but when everything's healthy and clean, any odor is artfully minimal.
Other than that - switch to cotton underwear. Give everything a chance to breathe. That helps a lot.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
And to offer a bit of defense for your partner (she said, turning to the room), look, some people just don't dig some things. The fact that the partner is icked out by doing something is not necessarily a sign that the partner in question is The Most Selfish And Repressed Person Evar Omigod. After all, the OP is in here because the partner is going to try performing this act EVEN THOUGH they are a little discomfited. Which, personally, I think is commendable.
those who've said "go to the doctor to be sure" are right. Our bodies don't all naturally smell like flowers or anything, but when everything's healthy and clean, any odor is artfully minimal.
Other than that - switch to cotton underwear. Give everything a chance to breathe. That helps a lot.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
do not use anything with sugar, despite well-intended & hilarious recommendations above. you can get a couple of different types of uncomfortable infections/infestations from having it in such a warm, moist place and the act of stimulation will put it higher in your parts than it will ever need to be. any gentle abrasion resulting will not appreciate the additives, either.
don't use essential oils. they will burn either your parts or your partner's mouth or both.
if it's really an issue for your partner & not just something you're nervous about, give yourself a nice soak - like a good ol' 45min bath - in whatever gentle bath additives you enjoy. i like dead sea salts and colloidal oats for luxurious lingering, as a starting point. when you get out, use a little witch hazel on a cotton ball to desaturate the area of concern. a wee dab of jojoba oil after all that and you should be good to go. if you'd rather, do this a couple of days in a row in addition to your normal showering. if you'd rather rather, also do the witch hazel & jojoba treatment after each elimination.
burn a candle or put on an oil warmer in the room as distraction & relaxation aide. yeah, use a (latex-free) dental dam if there are any other concerns (and if you guys are new to each other/have other partners).
posted by batmonkey at 9:49 PM on January 26, 2010
don't use essential oils. they will burn either your parts or your partner's mouth or both.
if it's really an issue for your partner & not just something you're nervous about, give yourself a nice soak - like a good ol' 45min bath - in whatever gentle bath additives you enjoy. i like dead sea salts and colloidal oats for luxurious lingering, as a starting point. when you get out, use a little witch hazel on a cotton ball to desaturate the area of concern. a wee dab of jojoba oil after all that and you should be good to go. if you'd rather, do this a couple of days in a row in addition to your normal showering. if you'd rather rather, also do the witch hazel & jojoba treatment after each elimination.
burn a candle or put on an oil warmer in the room as distraction & relaxation aide. yeah, use a (latex-free) dental dam if there are any other concerns (and if you guys are new to each other/have other partners).
posted by batmonkey at 9:49 PM on January 26, 2010
you know, that's effective & advisable even if it is just something you're nervous about. my bias was showing, i think. it'll make you feel better, regardless.
posted by batmonkey at 9:51 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by batmonkey at 9:51 PM on January 26, 2010
Hmmmm. On further rereading of your OP, let's face it. Are we talking vaginal or anal?
Nothing will make an anus completely safe for licking. OTOH, there is nothing wrong with licking a correctly prepared anus.
The key is cleanliness. And I guess that soap is not the answer. Nor should it be.
If you want more details about anal play, please send me a MeFiMail. Or something.
Wanting a partner to lick you there is not a bad thing, until you expect them to do it when... well I guess you get my point.
If it's vaginal play, please see my previous post.
If it's a body part I'm not up to speed on, please send pictures.
posted by Splunge at 9:51 PM on January 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
Nothing will make an anus completely safe for licking. OTOH, there is nothing wrong with licking a correctly prepared anus.
The key is cleanliness. And I guess that soap is not the answer. Nor should it be.
If you want more details about anal play, please send me a MeFiMail. Or something.
Wanting a partner to lick you there is not a bad thing, until you expect them to do it when... well I guess you get my point.
If it's vaginal play, please see my previous post.
If it's a body part I'm not up to speed on, please send pictures.
posted by Splunge at 9:51 PM on January 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
If you use saran/plastic wrap, just make sure it's a non-microwaveable one. The stuff for microwaving has tiny air holes, which would not only defeat your purpose but are also a big fail as STD prevention. Not that you were looking for that, but it would be unfortunate if someone made that assumption.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:07 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:07 PM on January 26, 2010
Glad press, n seal wrap has a very subtle texture that may be fun .
posted by hortense at 10:53 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by hortense at 10:53 PM on January 26, 2010
Dr Bronners' Liquid soap. In this one instance. Undiluted. Either Lavender or Rose. Give' it' whatever 'it' is (ass, vagina, penis) a triple wash. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Wash quite vigorously. Be very thorough! Absolutely eliminates any odor if done properly. Leaves a pure essential oil flower scent that is VERY pleasant. Don't use the mint. It will sting with prolonged and deliberate lathering action. Everyone else is advising masking. I'm advising on a 'how to' for a complete cleansing and removal of the odor.
posted by Muirwylde at 11:08 PM on January 26, 2010
posted by Muirwylde at 11:08 PM on January 26, 2010
In order to give a proper answer, we really need to know if you're talking about a butthole or not.
posted by dhammond at 11:27 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by dhammond at 11:27 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm going to assume that you're talking about anilingus, since your use of the term GGG leads me to think that you're a Dan Savage fan, and I don't really know too many Savage Love readers who haven't tried garden-variety oral sex.
If I'm correct, then I second the suggestion of lavender-scented Dr. Bronner's. I wouldn't use it on a vulva, though, as I find even the non-mint scents sting a bit when applied to the ladyparts.
posted by arianell at 12:08 AM on January 27, 2010
If I'm correct, then I second the suggestion of lavender-scented Dr. Bronner's. I wouldn't use it on a vulva, though, as I find even the non-mint scents sting a bit when applied to the ladyparts.
posted by arianell at 12:08 AM on January 27, 2010
note: some folks are allergic to dr. bronner's, so be prepared to be one of them. try it a couple of days ahead of time before committing, as that would also be a very painful combination. you wouldn't want to ruin the experience with a gasp of discomfort and that hideous burning sensation. unless you're into that sort of thing, i suppose.
posted by batmonkey at 1:14 AM on January 27, 2010
posted by batmonkey at 1:14 AM on January 27, 2010
Dental dam, or failing that, Saran wrap. You want some lube on your side and none on his/her side.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:44 AM on January 27, 2010
posted by DarlingBri at 3:44 AM on January 27, 2010
I'd say just get it superclean, and remember that things that smell nice don't always taste nice. Also, a friend of mine (not 'a friend') tried sugary stuff and ended up with terrific thrush. (She also tried banana insertion which was fine until the banana broke inside her.)
posted by mippy at 4:28 AM on January 27, 2010
posted by mippy at 4:28 AM on January 27, 2010
One thing I haven't seen mentioned: the very first time, do it in the shower. A nice, steamy shower. I'm of the mind that, introducing something "dirty" in the shower helps to clear away the notion of an act being unclean. Besides, everything's more fun in the shower.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:30 AM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:30 AM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]
Mango body butter, I have heard, can be quite delightful when well-placed for anilingus. Haven't tried it myself, but this is a tip from a friend of a friend who is a sex worker. (Apparently her clients were big fans of it.)
posted by jennyhead at 10:25 AM on January 27, 2010
posted by jennyhead at 10:25 AM on January 27, 2010
doing it in the shower is a great suggestion. i'm not particularly squicked out by putting my mouth anywhere, so i might be the wrong audience for this question - but i really enjoy the non aftertaste and super cleanliness that cetaphil gives.
nth-ing the no body oils, no sugars.
if we are talking about anilingus here, then might i suggest starting with plain old oral sex, and then moving to the ass. if you're a girl, your juices will help with the other taste (also if you're a girl, make sure your spouse doesn't make the trip back to your pussy - cross contamination is no good). if you're a guy, it's pretty easy to move from ball/perinium licking to ass licking.
posted by nadawi at 3:43 PM on January 27, 2010
nth-ing the no body oils, no sugars.
if we are talking about anilingus here, then might i suggest starting with plain old oral sex, and then moving to the ass. if you're a girl, your juices will help with the other taste (also if you're a girl, make sure your spouse doesn't make the trip back to your pussy - cross contamination is no good). if you're a guy, it's pretty easy to move from ball/perinium licking to ass licking.
posted by nadawi at 3:43 PM on January 27, 2010
Are you 100% you're squeaky clean? My apologies if you've got this covered but TP won't really clean the inside of your bum so much. A shower with a wand attachment is good for really cleaning thoroughly but you can also just squat in the shower/bath to kind of open things up a bit and have at it with a bar of soap and your hand (washcloth is probably going to be too rough). There's a difference between clean and clean clean. Again, my apologies.
posted by 6550 at 6:05 PM on January 27, 2010
posted by 6550 at 6:05 PM on January 27, 2010
If your partner is already squeamish, maybe this isn't something you should be pressuring them to do. Are you going to be okay with it if they try it and are really disgusted and squicked out?
Everyone has a line they really, really do not want to cross. Maybe your partner is trying to tell you this in a subtle way ("I'm really worried about the odor") when the reality is a far more deep level of freaked-outedness ("I have to come up with some excuse so I can seem GGG but still not have to do it").
I speak as someone who would rather take a bullet to my head than put my face near anyone's asshole, no matter how clean.
posted by marble at 6:45 PM on January 27, 2010
Everyone has a line they really, really do not want to cross. Maybe your partner is trying to tell you this in a subtle way ("I'm really worried about the odor") when the reality is a far more deep level of freaked-outedness ("I have to come up with some excuse so I can seem GGG but still not have to do it").
I speak as someone who would rather take a bullet to my head than put my face near anyone's asshole, no matter how clean.
posted by marble at 6:45 PM on January 27, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by thylacine at 8:56 PM on January 26, 2010