Help me get from Point A (FL) to Point (B) wielding Baby, Wife, and Sanity
January 11, 2010 6:24 PM   Subscribe

I suddenly need to travel 1,100 miles (FL to NY) ASAP with a wife and 8 month old baby. Your suggestions and advice are requested for a new dad suddenly given the ultimate logistics challenge.

Mrs. Cavalier's Father's Oncologist called to say... Get here now. So we have to get there now. My wife is terrified of taking our baby on a plane, let alone an airport, so I'm trying to suggest a straight shoot up I-95 road trip style in our newish wagon.

Help me. Pro con me. Any comment will do.

Oh, and my darling boy hates pacifiers. All shapes or sizes. It's breast time or it's loud time. Sometimes, both.
  • 8 month old on an airplane? Sorry, travellers! Buy a modest car seat, get a rental car with LATCH, bing bang boom? But what will he sleep in when we get there?
  • I've never driven more than 600 miles in a stretch, maybe just do that and take a night in VA or something? Benefits - all the baby paraphernalia, no hard timelines for travel
  • Teleportation?
I'm sorry I haven't thought out this question enough. I'm literally surprised (we thought we were months if not years from this day) and shaken but I'm wearing the captain's hat so I've got to put a plan together.

Bonus question -- I'm thinking of buying a Verizon Wireless card/month by month service and an AC adapter -- looks to be about $230, but my rational is "I'm a geek." With a computer I'm superman, without I'll be... clark kent? Irrational extravagance or handy aid?
posted by cavalier to Travel & Transportation (50 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
My now wife and I did this when she moved up here a few years back. Took us 2 days with a semi-randomly planned stop over night in Rocky Mount, NC (was the closest big town we were near as it got late and we got tired/hungry). Trip wasn't bad....it's a lot of driving but even a 10 min rest stop every few hours can do wonders.
posted by Captain_Science at 6:31 PM on January 11, 2010


My wife, our 14 month old, and I are going on our fourth (?) plane trip this weekend. It's really not a big deal. Yeah, shove something in his mouth on takeoff and landing. Otherwise hope he naps, or entertain him in the seat.

As far as I know, all airlines will let you gate-check your stroller. You don't have to get a seat for him if he's under 2. We have a car seat with a set of 'wheels' for airline travel, just have an umbrella stroller at the other end.

That said, I hear airports are more stringent post-underpants. It almost certainly just means more time.

Is this a better solution than driving? That's for you to decide. Does your kid sleep in the car? Ours did, which made getting to our ski trip in VT great, but then he was awake all night when we got there.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:35 PM on January 11, 2010


I traveled on planes frequently with my daughter from about 5 months on. Breastfeeding was great during takeoff and landing - she never had any ear issues. She was always a remarkably easygoing baby as long as she was entertained, though. Florida to NYC is not that far of a plane ride, really, and it sounds as if time is of the essence.

We had a pack-n-play/cosleeper thing that traveled without any problems in the cargo hold. I always held her on my lap (sometimes with the assistance of this lovely vest) since I often traveled without my husband and didn't want to lug car seat, diaper bag and baby on my own. Purchasing a modest car seat may be best for you, but I never had any trouble with the rental car seats. YMMV.

Good luck!
posted by chihiro at 6:35 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


2.5 hour flight is an easy/ short hop compared to driving and several orders of magnitude safer. If your baby sleeps ok otherwise, then plane won't be any different than driving in car. Just try to give bottle or something else to suck during takeoff/ landing.

We've flown to Europe and elsewhere when kids were few months old. Basically small baby is much easier than toddler; babies per design like to sleep and most 8 month ones don't walk much. Added peace of mind you can ask the pediatrician about Benedryl, but never had to use that ourselves.

Sometimes babies cry, but as long as parents try to sooth them, most everyone will be supportive and helpful. I don't quite understand what is to fear having a baby at airport, but on the other hand we've always tried to take kids where there are other people and just adjust.

Good luck.
posted by zeikka at 6:36 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Why specifically is your wife terrified of bringing the baby on the plane? Planes are a lot more safe than cars, especially on highways. And a flight from FL to NY is like 2.5 hours versus 24 straight if you drove (and I doubt with a little one you'd drive straight). If time is of the essence, then you really can't eliminate flying from consideration.
posted by inturnaround at 6:37 PM on January 11, 2010


I've traveled with wee ones long distances, and I've done it by car and I've done it by plane.

TAKE THE PLANE.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:40 PM on January 11, 2010


I would much rather take my 9 month old on a plane than by car. He's flown 1000+ miles on two separate occasions and handled it like a champ. It's a little rough when they get cranky, but all in all it wasn't bad. Make sure to get to your gate early, this is crucial. You can check the stroller in at the gate, by the way. A lightweight stroller is best. If you can, try to get a nonstop flight. Oh yeah, one weird thing is that some airlines want paperwork for your baby. Bizarre, but a copy of the birth certificate or an insurance card or something might save you some arguing with airline people.

We had family with a loaner car seat on arrival, but most rental car companies will actually rent you a car seat for a small fee. Call or check their website in advance, of course.

I've got a Verizon MiFi and I love it. I'm also totally lost without internet access, but that, a netbook and my trust smartphone have saved the day on many occasions.

Last but not least, try to relax. Just allot plenty of time and maybe buy your wife (and yourself!) a cocktail once you're in the air.
posted by signalnine at 6:40 PM on January 11, 2010


Any chance Amtrak would work? Very long trip, but you wouldn't be driving.
posted by dilettante at 6:40 PM on January 11, 2010


(Also, I'd bet someone at your destination will have a spare crib or pack-n-play they will loan out. For that matter there's probably Mefites where you are going who would loan you baby gear. Ask!)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:42 PM on January 11, 2010


Response by poster: Plane is winning handily, both here and on the social networks ( wait , isn't this a network of sociables? ). Still loving your comments and suggestions.. thank you...

She is terrified (and unfort has had this terror reinforced by our otherwise lovely pediatricians office) of him getting sicik/flu/the plague from the flight. The pediatrician in fact reccomended the auto travel handily. I'm working on it, but, you know... 20 hours vs 4 hours...

I guess my thoughts now would be; We're going to stay in a hotel. I need to bring a pack n play and bassinet, then? Any of y'all ever pack a pack n play? Yes, funny name, but not sure how it will handle baggage throwers?

Pack n' Play / Bassinet
Stroller
Car Seat

Is making the flight sounds nefarious from a baggage perspective...
posted by cavalier at 6:48 PM on January 11, 2010


If you have the means (and it isn't much, maybe $50 for a week), you can rent baby gear including pack and play / bassinet / stroller / etc from any number of websites.

1) Take the plane. I just booked a 5 hour flight with a 3 year old and an 8 month old.
2) Take the train. It's like a car you can walk around.
3) Drive. distant third.
posted by true at 6:58 PM on January 11, 2010


I took a 6-month-old on a nearly identical flight a few months ago, with similar worries. It was fine-- not delightful, but fine- and she emerged plague-free at the height of the swine flu terror. Careful research suggested that you can only actually catch the flu from the people within three rows of you-- and if you request a bulkhead seat, you can cut that number by half. Definitely nurse the baby during takeoff and landing, and bring lots of toys and interesting things to eat (a single apple worked to entertain our kid for about 45 minutes straight).

Re: the pack-and-play, many hotels actually have a few in stock that they can lend you, so call before you go. With a kid that age, though, I suspect you don't really need one-- just make sure you request extra bedding in the hotel room (or bring some yourself) and once you get there, make the kid a little sleeping area out of folded sheets on the floor, with suitcases and/or couch cushions as "walls" to prevent nighttime wandering.

Regarding the stroller, it's probably a matter of taste, but we found a baby carrier (Ergo in our case, but a sling or mei tai would probably work as well) to be MUCH more convenient and portable for air travel than a stroller would have been. Oh, and remember that you can check carseats for free!
posted by Bardolph at 6:59 PM on January 11, 2010


It might be worth checking with the hotel about the bassinet etc, to see if you could borrow one, and just bring blankets or sheets, to make it work even if it's not ideal. Ditto the hotel and internet.

Even aside from the baby challenge, though, here's another vote for the plane. I had to travel for an acute family emergency last year and nearly drove, thinking the freedom from timetables would be better. It was quite a while into the train journey before I realised I was really out of my mind with worry and I would have been downright dangerous dealing with other cars when I felt so much "oh god must get there" urgency - and that was only 300km. Particularly with a baby, I would avoid making such a long journey under your own steam for this reason.
posted by carbide at 7:03 PM on January 11, 2010


I have traveled with children by plane and car. The conclusion is plane.

Your child is on the breast and that it GREAT. Here is the plan:

* 30 minutes before take off you give the youngster some benadryl -- this has the power to knock out the child and take care of any histamine problems brought about being on a plane;

** breast at the ready for take off and landing

*** if it does not freak out the wife, breast at the ready the whole trip with appropriate drapage so that baby has easy access and finds it promptly

**** be next to Mom with all things ready like water and snacks in case her hands are full

***** if you have a baby bjorn or some other carrier that comes in handy but is not necessary

****** at the car rental you ask and get a child seat. You will be asked to do the install based on liability. Be absolutely sure that you do the install BEFORE driving off the lot -- sometimes the seat is crappy and can be missing parts. Exercise your rights and get another carrier if what they offer you does not work. Most staff at car rentals do not understand the fine nuances of car seats and variations so you have to be the final authority.

Good luck
posted by jadepearl at 7:28 PM on January 11, 2010


Hi Cavalier, I'm sorry for what your wife and you are going through. I was lucky enough to be able to fly back west for my dad's last week, I wouldn't trade the time for anything. Which is one reason I'd advise flying, it's three or four days not spent on the road, time to be with her family.

Also: You live in Orlando, babies and children on planes to and from here, is not only common, it is the LAW! Well, it seems like it! At your child's age, he will be pretty confined to your arms and won't be touching and putting things into his mouth that your wife won't be aware of. Take individually wrapped hand wipes, I think they are still allowed? Whatever will make your wife at ease.

Good luck, we'll be thinking of your family.
posted by Jazz Hands at 7:31 PM on January 11, 2010


Further to my above comment, and taking your follow-up into consideration:

1. Never bothered with a stroller in the airport at that age. As Bardolph mentioned, baby carrier is much easier. I had a mei tai that folded up to stuff into the diaper bag when I wasn't using it. You can always buy a cheap umbrella stroller at Target or somewhere once you reach your destination, if you feel you need it.

2. Our portable crib (Arm's Reach mini co-sleeper when she was very young, Graco pack-n-play when she got a little bigger) traveled handily in its own bag. There were no problems with breakage or the like - I'm sure baggage handlers are used to dealing with them.

3. Many flights (10+) before her first birthday and nary an illness. I credit the breastfeeding and keeping my own hands clean. It seems awfully alarmist of your pediatrician's office to recommend auto travel over air travel for just that reason, unless your baby has other health concerns.

The Benadryl recommendation is a common one, but be aware that it sometimes backfires, making baby more hyper rather than less. Unfortunately, this can vary from instance to instance. Just something to keep in mind.

Try hard not to overpack - a baby needs far less stuff when traveling than you think. Good luck!
posted by chihiro at 7:32 PM on January 11, 2010


If you have the option, choose the flight that takes off about a half-hour before naptime. That way, baby is interested in the surroundings and not-fussy while getting seated, then nurses during takeoff, falls asleep to the lovely drone of the engines, and wakes refreshed for the last 45 minutes (depending on typical nap length) of airplane playtime. Bring a bag of 5-6 toys he hasn't seen before, and if he munches on rice crispies or whatever, a little bag of those too.

Pack a canister of sanitizing wipes in your diaper bag and wipe down the surfaces baby will touch -- windowsill, tray latch, arm rests, etc. Do the same in the airport bathrooms for changes. I've heard that breastmilk contains some anti-germ properties, so if the baby will nurse on the plane and in the car directly after the flight is over, it's possible he'll wash any nasties out of his throat that way. (Further, I've heard of people using drops of milk as an anti-germ nasal spray...)

If you want encouragement that you can get by without a lot of gear, I can tell you that we've been fine with baby in an Ergo carrier, no stroller, rental car + rental car seat, and a king hotel bed (baby in the middle). But if the stuff makes your life easier, do bring it. The airlines have seen it all before.
posted by xo at 7:35 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I can HIGHLY recommend plane over car for another reason: we just came back from a trip up 95 from Florida, and there are huge sections of construction that cost us a FOUR HOUR DELAY on our way home from PA. So, yes, take the plane.

And I'd also go with a baby carrier, if you can handle the luggage and your wife can handle the carrier and diaper bag.
posted by misha at 7:46 PM on January 11, 2010


Response by poster: We have a Baby Bjorn, but he's almost 30 inches tall and almost 22 pounds. I wince thinking at what the carrier will do to us.

Plane is winning. I'm the alpha male, and I think I am going to make the call. Arf.

I'm going to call JetBlue right now and see what infant fun is in store. Or stow. Get it, stow? nyuk nyu-- ugh.

I have a stroller that has a kind of big bassinet thingy. It will suck to travel, but I wonder if I can make do with it as a bed? Urgh, too confining. More randomness. This was not the evening I was expecting...
posted by cavalier at 7:52 PM on January 11, 2010


I read through what others have said and completely concur with them. I just wanted to add one simple thing. Please calm your wife down from being terrified of baby being sick from the flight.

Her anxiety will not help the baby calm down *especially* if she's breastfeeding. That has a potential of doing something to her milk supply as well as feeding emotions into the baby. The baby senses these things and could react.

The flight will be fine. Don't let other people touch the baby, keep him near mama, wash hands regularly or use anti-bacterial for quick and easy use, breastfeeding will keep his antibodies up, and you will all be just fine.

Relax and listen to what the others have advise you to do.
posted by czechmate at 7:58 PM on January 11, 2010


Cavalier, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Driving is right out... with one of the most extreme winters in the past five decades... record cold and snowfall... traffic delays and accidents galore.

Conditions are not optimal for driving 1,100 plus miles... it's too much time lost... and when you and your wife aren't in the best of mindsets.

Flying will be the safest means of getting their fast... and we'll all feel better knowing that you aren't making a long haul drive in this muck of a winter.

Best of luck... and... Godpseed.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 8:02 PM on January 11, 2010


We've done two 2.5 hour return flights with baby anachronism. One @ 4 months, just did 6 months, planning another (shorter flight) for 8 months. Also have done the 8 hours driving into the night with her at 3 months. Flights are kinda annoying baggage wise, but so much easier than the car trips.

I had boob ready to go for takeoff and descent. We actually missed the start of descent on the first flight - baby anachronism screamed for about 5 minutes, whimpered and snuffled for another 20 around the other anachronism's knuckle since she didn't want boob. We were pleasantly surprised at how many people gave us sympathetic smiles (or consolations) as they disembarked past us. On the way back we were a little more aware and got her settled and latched early. That time there was a family in front of us that was loud enough that she could have cried the entire flight and we wouldn't have gotten a whit of attention. This last flight she didn't want boob and didn't have a single problem - we think she may have been coming down with something prior to the first flight which affected her ears.

We use the mei tai in the airport so we've got handsfree and she's safely snuggled into us while waiting/getting on and off the planes. Australian flights do not count baby stuff in your luggage but we have a carseat/pram at our usual destinations and we cosleep. Otherwise we'd def. take it with us. Minimise carryon, but make sure you've got clean shirts for you both and at least one outfit for the baby in case of explosions. Wipe stuff down, don't pass the baby around and try get up one end of the plane if you can. Change the baby just before getting on if you can and try to time feeds.

As far as sickness goes, baby anachronism did get sniffly after (possibly before and certainly during) the first trip and some sort of virus this one. As to the source? No idea. Apart from the plane and the airport, there was the family, the friends, the co-workers. The strange places. The strange animals. I tend to expect all three of us to come down with something after any big trip simply because of how run down we tend to get. Flying may or may not have been the cause but it certainly doesn't make a three day car drive much better (particularly given how many strange places you end up on roadtrips).
posted by geek anachronism at 8:03 PM on January 11, 2010


I started flying with our first born at 4 weeks. Breast fed and slept the whole way. At about 8 months, it was a crap shoot whether she was sleeping or awake. There were some screams. I think it is important to know that kids scream when they fly sometimes. Pick a flight that is not a business flight. If you fly at noon, there will likely be more leisure travelers and families than the 7:00am flight that gets you there at 10am or the 5pm home flight. Also, as far as germs go, I would rather be on a plane for 3 hours than in some Holiday Inn Express where the bedspread has not been cleaned in like forever, the bathroom has a thin film of...well...I don't know and I would not want my child crawling on the floor. The time factor is so significant that it would also push me towards flying. I have driven from NYC to Columbia SC with 3 under the age of 4 and can tell you that driving is not a picnic from a logical standpoint or emotional one. Yes you can carry way more stuff and you will be wishing you had more of your gear if you fly, but that is a small price to pay.

Lastly, I found that even with a screaming baby, the folks around you are ok if you are making a serious attempt to soothe the baby and to prevent additional outbursts. I also once bought drinks for the two rows in front of me and the two behind (My family had our entire row) after my son spent the first 30 minutes of the flight screaming as only a 2 year old can, "Want to get down. No want to fly. Airplane too big to fly." The only thing I could do was agree with him. Finally, he passed out. This too shall pass.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:04 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


We're going to stay in a hotel. I need to bring a pack n play and bassinet,

Car seats are free to check on the plane.

Every hotel I've ever stayed in has had a crib (although you might want to call and make sure it's available). Usually, it's a pack & play.
posted by leahwrenn at 8:29 PM on January 11, 2010


Don't bring a crib. Get a room with two Double or Queen beds; you sleep in one, spouse cosleeps with the baby in the other.
posted by anastasiav at 8:33 PM on January 11, 2010


I've never driven more than 600 miles in a stretch, maybe just do that and take a night in VA or something? Benefits - all the baby paraphernalia, no hard timelines for travel

Might be too late, but if you end up driving, for whatever reason, definitely stop on the way--I-95 is positively littered with cheap motels whose cheerful innkeeps will be happy to accommodate you. I've made this trip about 8 times now, and, by far, the worst was with the Mister's family, who decided that driving straight through would be a great idea. It was terrible. Terrible, even with four adult drivers. It's just a miserable trip if you don't stop. It's not wine and roses if you do, but I-95 is a fairly easy interstate to travel, and if you're in a good mood, you can at least count pedro signs. I usually try to do eight hours one day, ten the next. It's manageable that way, even when I've traveled completely alone.

Oh, and just a note--it doesn't look that way, but VA is actually the beginning of the last third of the trip. You'd have to push yourself to get past the VA border in one day. North Carolina is a more realistic goal.

Good luck! We'll be thinking of you guys at the meet-up.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:34 PM on January 11, 2010


Driving is right out... with one of the most extreme winters in the past five decades... record cold and snowfall... traffic delays and accidents galore.

Conditions are not optimal for driving 1,100 plus miles... it's too much time lost... and when you and your wife aren't in the best of mindsets.


Oh, and I have to say, making this trip around the holidays, even with extreme weather up at the north end, it really wasn't a problem. 95 is kept clear by the heavy traffic it gets, generally, and (except for our trip just after New Years, which was hellish in terms of traffic, but that's the holidays for you--it was the first time I'd ever run into significant traffic on 95!) you're as unlikely to run into any problems driving long distances as you are otherwise as long as you're well rested and drive responsibly.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:36 PM on January 11, 2010


I can HIGHLY recommend plane over car for another reason: we just came back from a trip up 95 from Florida, and there are huge sections of construction that cost us a FOUR HOUR DELAY on our way home from PA. So, yes, take the plane.

Okay, yeah, don't drive.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:39 PM on January 11, 2010


Why are you guys freaking out? My 14 month old has been on a dozen flights, all longer than the one that you're planning on. In fact when he was 9 months, we flew LA-Sydney. You're talking about a really short trip. This whole thread seems ridiculous to me.

Anyway...

- Don't do Benadryl. 1/4 kids get hyper on it. Our ped and the Internet overwhelmingly did not recommend it.
- Just stick a boob in his mouth. You're probably already on solid foods a bit, so encourage your wife to drink some lactation tea (available at any health food store and probably many grocery stores) in case she is worried about her supply.
- Try to keep the baby awake in the car ride to the airport and while you're in line to maximize the sleeping on the plane.
- Bring teething tablets and motrin/tylenol in case a teething fit happens.
- Bring the umbrella stroller if you use it a lot. They are gate checked for free.
- Baby Bjorn for a 9 month old? Yuk! Those things are useless past 3 months. Get an Ergo, if you're down with it. Plus you can breastfeed with ease.
- Buy some Baby Mum Mums to stuff in his face.
- Bring a few toys.
- Don't bring a car seat on the plane. Bring your car seat with you to the airport in some sort of large duffle bag and the airline will check it for free.
- On the plane just have the baby on your lap.
- Bring 4 outfits for him and an extra shirt for both adults.
- As far as being sick, your kid is 9 months, not 1 month. He has already been exposed to all sorts of germs. Don't stress about this. Seriously.

- All hotels have pack and plays. Call ahead and tell them that you need one.
posted by k8t at 8:55 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


My daughter and 8 month grandson just flew from Seattle to Texas and back by themselves. They flew from Seattle to Kansas City, stayed for a week, flew to Austin, stayed for a week and flew back to Seattle he was only 4 months old Stop freaking out and have more confidence in yourselves. You can do it.
posted by Daddy-O at 8:56 PM on January 11, 2010


Don't rent a car seat from a car rental company:

- They are often in poor condition.
- They are often expired.
- You don't know if it was in an accident.
- You don't know if they'll have an infant seat or a convertible seat or a booster seat.
posted by k8t at 8:57 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Take the plane. If you take the car, the baby will sleep all day. You will be tempted to drive until late into the night - then - when you transfer the baby to the hotel room - it will wake up - for the next 5 hours. Since you stopped at midnight, does not make for an ideal drive for the next day.

Hotels have pack and plays. Bring sheets as they can be on the dirty side. Or, co-sleep if you do that at home. Car rental places have car seats. Use it.

Avoid flying at night if you can. People are more understanding of a cranky baby in the day time than they are at night. The flight attendants will work with you to try to move people around so that you have a seat of three for just your family even if you didn't book three seats. Individual fliers are usually more than willing to trade their window seat if they are next to a baby, I have found. (Which will help reduce chances of catching cold.) Your wife should be prepared to nurse at take off and landing. If you have a baby like my daughter who wouldn't nurse when she was in a new place (she liked to look around) bring formula and a bottle. It has been a while, but they used to have individually wrapped packs of powdered formula that you pore into a bottle and add water. They are marked and tamper proof so should go through security with little issue compared to pumped milk or pre-made formula.

wife of 445supermag
posted by 445supermag at 8:58 PM on January 11, 2010


PS, don't worry about what people on the plane think/say.

In general, people are positive about your traveling with an infant. If something happens that people make faces at or say something (and it might), just keep on trying to calm/comfort baby.

If it escalates, you have the right to say,
"WE DID NOT *CHOOSE* TO TRAVEL WITH OUR BABY. MY WIFE'S FATHER IS ABOUT TO DIE."

Or at least think this statement to yourself in your head. This makes you morally superior to those making comments/faces.
posted by k8t at 9:01 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Yes - bring 2 premixed formula cans and an empty bottle just in case baby is too interested in the new environment to breastfeed. This happened on our 6 month trip - he just grawed on my nipples (no fun.)
posted by k8t at 9:03 PM on January 11, 2010


I had to do this when my grandmother died last summer (my son was 4 months old at the time). Lucky for me, my dad travelled with me so I had an extra person along to help out. Also, my brother met me at the airport and let me use his son's carseat.

I would recommend flying if you can. My son didn't have much trouble flying, and I didn't have any issues breastfeeding on the plane. I'd recommend trying to get a window seat for your wife, which offers a little more privacy and elbow room for breastfeeding than a middle or aisle seat. I just got settled right in with my Boppy pillow and breastfed until he fell asleep, then he slept for the whole flight. My son really hates being in his carseat, so a drive of more than about an hour is pretty much out of the question, unless I can ride in back with him and have a bottle ready at all times. Driving with a baby who needs to stop and eat frequently can make the car trip take quite a bit longer than you'd think.

Are you going to be staying in a hotel? Many of them will provide you with a crib at no extra cost (I know for sure that Quality Inn and Comfort Inn do this). Ask them when you make the reservation. You can check your stroller at the gate (again, no extra cost), so you'll be able to use it in the airport. And, almost every newer car will have LATCH as a standard, so you should be fine with a rental car. As far as I know, checking a carseat is not a big deal.

Don't panic too much about the traveling. You and your wife will be able to support each other with the baby in the airport and on the plane, and it really isn't as difficult and stressful as it seems. It sounds like you need to get there pretty quickly, so airline travel is probably your best bet.
posted by lexicakes at 9:05 PM on January 11, 2010


Response by poster: Ok y'all;

Checking in from camp stress:

Flight wins! Flight is booked. Booked one way. Don't know about return.
Hotel is booked. Requested crib. Not sure if I should call the graveyard shift dude, or talk to the morning desk dude.
Car is booked. But I'm going to go buy a car seat. Too many horror stories about old/deprecated/busted/bleh carseats.

The hotel's pack n play would be great; trying to figure out how to get all this there. Yes to all you experienced types I'm a lightweight - well, geez, it's our first. So, yeah, we are. LOL.

And DANG ASK.metafilter gets crazy busy! When did we get to 300 posts in a day? Had trouble finding this at first...
posted by cavalier at 9:33 PM on January 11, 2010


One more tip - bring a ton of dipes.

You never know if you'll get stranded on the tarmac or stuck in an aiport.

We generally try to travel with 2 dipes per hour of traveling.

It is always overkill. *Until it isn't.*

Most small airplanes (like ones that travel FL-NY) won't have changing tables in the bathroom. 2 adults should be able to handle it though.
posted by k8t at 9:56 PM on January 11, 2010


PS, don't worry about what people on the plane think/say...If it escalates, you have the right to say, "WE DID NOT *CHOOSE* TO TRAVEL WITH OUR BABY. MY WIFE'S FATHER IS ABOUT TO DIE."

Came in to recommend the OPPOSITE of this. Yes, it's the unpopular thing no one else here seems to want to say. But nothing ruins a flight more than a screaming baby. Use benadryl or whatever you need to, but do not be complacent about your baby bothering other passengers. Remember - you did choose to travel (by plane) with your baby.
posted by melissasaurus at 2:43 AM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Everything I wanted to say has been said! But after my last travel experience, let me just echo what k8t just said: Bring lots of diapers. Way more than you think you could possibly need. And then add some.

(Kid got diarrhea, went through 7 diapers in a 2-hour flight, we ended up scouring the Miami airport for more diapers before our overnight flight and finally I ended up crying to get them to sell me the bags of diapers that didn't have a price tag. Oh, and for some reason, I have only ever seen airport diapers in size 4. Weird.)
posted by wallaby at 2:51 AM on January 12, 2010


Melissasaurus - I'm guessing you don't have kids. If you did, you would know that a screaming child is 100x worse for the parent than for the other passengers, simply out of embarrasment. Drugging a child is NOT the way to do it, suggesting as much is reckless and selfish.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 7:01 AM on January 12, 2010 [10 favorites]


I wasn't going to add anything to this thread since I have no experience traveling with children, but after Melissaurus's comment, I felt that I should contribute another opinion. I don't have children, not a big "baby" person, but personally, I've never had a problem with people traveling with babies or even toddlers. Hell, my ears hurt at take off and landing and I can only imagine how that feels to a child too small to understand what is going on and that it will be over quickly. I'm frankly more surprised when they don't scream or cry at those points during the flight. And I don't know what the parents who were traveling on the flights that I've been on did, but I don't recall any flight that I've been on where it was a big deal. Either the babies/toddlers in question didn't react at all or the crying only lasted a few minutes. I think that MOST people are understanding about this; even those of us without children. Frankly, there was a 5 year period when I was in a long distance relationship and taking long trips quite frequently and the only time I ever had a problem was when I was seated next to a not particularly well-behaved 7 or 8 year old whose parents seemed to have abdicated all responsibility for him to me!

You guys have a lot on your plates and have gotten some good advice about how to handle both the landing and take-off as well as the time in between. Of all the things that you have to be worried about, this should be the least of your concerns right now. I hope that you have a safe and trouble-free flight.
posted by kaybdc at 8:15 AM on January 12, 2010


Among all the good answers, I like k8t's best. And melissasaurus, please buy yourself some nice in-ear earbuds. You'll never have to hear another screaming kid again.
posted by partylarry at 8:22 AM on January 12, 2010


The best advice I ever got for traveling with children: Dress them cute, keep them clean.

You already have your ticket so this might be too late, but if you can afford to get the baby his own seat, do. I've always done that when traveling with my kids, and it makes life so much better. You can bring the carseat into the plane (apologizing the whole way down the aisle whack sorry whack sorry whack sorry whack sorry), and it fits in the seat (it has to go by the window, I've been told). It's safer, it's more comfortable for the baby, and if the baby falls asleep you have somewhere to plunk him. I would nurse my baby during takeoff, but then have them sit in their own seat if willing.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:17 AM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


search "baby rentals" to find companies near your destination that can rent you the equipment you want. They will probably even deliver to the place you are staying.
posted by y6t5r4e3w2q1 at 10:18 AM on January 12, 2010


Without this thread turning into a back and forth about the propriety about traveling with young children, I feel like I should justify/explain my previous comment.

First, I am not the only person on this thread recommending benadryl; plenty of parents I know use this method; obviously consult w/ a doctor before giving any meds to your child.

Second, I wasn't talking about crying during takeoff/landing; that is to be expected and is usually short in duration. I was talking about continual crying throughout the entire flight. Earplugs and noise canceling headphones seem to be unable to block the decibel of a baby's cry. I was simply saying that, unlike the attitude the previous poster was taking, you should be embarrassed, apologetic, and doing everything in your power to make it stop. I have been on plenty of flights where this is not the case, and the parents are the ones wearing the noise-canceling headphones. I was merely pointing out that the attitude of "I didn't choose to fly with my baby" is the wrong attitude to have as, in this case especially, driving was explicitly an option.

So, in sum: screaming baby in-flight = annoying; apologetic parent who seems to understand that the baby is annoying everyone else = everyone else happier
posted by melissasaurus at 2:34 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Melissasaurus, of course the parents are going to do everything possible to quiet the baby. In particular given the high level of anxiety that the OP displayed about this all. Trust me, as a parent of a toddler, I am deeply anxious about my child's behavior in public and especially on an airplane. It adds to the anxiety of the whole experience quite a bit. I am on guard. I apologize for every little thing that he does. We smile a lot. We bring lots of toys. We 2 adults are focused on keeping that kid quiet no matter what.

Unfortunately, one encounters a lot of "OH GREAT [EYE ROLL]" "this is gonna be a long flight" upon just walking down the aisle. And my answer to those people (in my head) is "fuck you." The oddest that I got when my son was 3 months old and exclusively breastfed was a man 3 aisles up that said "You need to change that baby's diaper. He stinks." My kid hadn't poo'd and as anyone with little ones knows, breastfed poo doesn't smell like adult poo. Or when a teenage boy said "OH GREAT" when we got on the plane. My baby slept the whole time. That stupid teenage boy had his ipod headphones on so loudly we could all hear. He also farted a ton. Or a few rides ago, a guy next to me asked to be moved because I was breastfeeding under a cover. Would he have rather that my kid be awake?
posted by k8t at 3:04 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: You guys!! Stop fighting :-P.

We made it. A teensy bit of fuss, but mostly my baby took the whole trip in stride. I think his ears felt funny on descent and even though he was suckling he stopped -- not to complain -- but he just sort of dazed out a little, then got back to business and by that business I mean suckling and sleep.

Yeah. He slept through the captain barking out arrival times and all the lights coming on and the beeping and people deplaning. Someone explain that to me later, cause I sure as heck don't get it. Over-Stimulation? Hmph.

I am very grateful for the time and energy you all spent in helping me get my head on straight and get this taken care of. My wife and my child are safe and in good spirits (considering..) and we will take care of what we need to take care of. While the Mrs. thinks highly of my efforts I know that I stand on the shoulders of many of the commenters here in making my efforts true.

So, thanks. Thanks thanks thanks.

Oh, and a tip for someone searching for this thread: Apparently the TSA likes to x-ray baby related items turned upside down. Don't ask me. And when I declared baby food/formula, they merely ran it through the X-Ray and said fine. Interesting...
posted by cavalier at 6:32 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: Oh, and the only drugs used were BREASTS!! Yeah!
posted by cavalier at 6:33 PM on January 12, 2010


I was told that because of the air pressure in the cabin, babies and small children get sleepy on planes. That was my experience when I traveled with mine.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:58 PM on January 12, 2010


Response by poster: Oh yeah, forgot to mention --- the hotel did indeed have a Graco "playyard", I forgot the name already but it was basically a very stripped down playyard frame. The hotel provided sheets but we just used our own --- if I had done this again, I would have brought playyard sheets, as I bet they would have fit best.
posted by cavalier at 3:26 PM on February 11, 2010


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