Need help deciding whether to take a position with professional and personal complications.
January 8, 2010 10:44 AM Subscribe
Need help deciding whether to take a position with professional and personal complications.
A former supervisor of mine, who works for a large company I contracted with, has resigned. I’m being strongly encouraged by him and our boss to apply for his position, which is full-time and permanent. (Application process is a formality. I’m pretty confident I would be hired if I applied.)
The position, at least on paper, would be a good move for me. I’m bored and poor as a freelancer, and the position would mean a big salary boost (likely 2.5x what I make now) and increased responsibility, as well as a new job title with lots of cachet. Also, I like the people there, and the office is very close to home (which is really important to me).
The problem is with the organization itself. There’s a lot of entropy, office politics, drama, and just plain bad decision-making that ensure 1) very little actually gets done, and 2) I wouldn’t learn much. I would also be managing others, which I’m not too keen on.
This means I probably wouldn’t be able to gain the experience necessary to pull off a similar position at another company. (Although I’m seriously considering going back to school in the next few years to do something completely different, so I’m not sure how much that matters.) I’m thinking this would be a nice stopgap between what I’m doing now and another career, but I could change my mind about school and be screwed down the road.
Now, for the personal issue. I worked with another contractor during my time at the company, and we became close buddies. I don’t see her as often as I’d like, but we stay in touch online and I consider her a good friend. She wants this job badly, plans to apply, and needs it much, much more than me. She has kids, and getting the job would mean a better quality of life for her whole family. We discussed the issue, and she said I should do what’s right for me, but it was pretty clear she’d be very hurt and disappointed if I got the job over her. And I would feel guilty.
The thing is, based on comments my supervisor made regarding her personality and experience, I’m not sure they would hire her regardless of whether I applied.
So here are the questions:
-Do I apply for a job that’s okay but not great knowing there’s a good chance I’d be hired and that I’d hurt someone I care about?
-If I don’t apply, how do I explain to my boss why I’m not applying? (They know I’m interested.)
A former supervisor of mine, who works for a large company I contracted with, has resigned. I’m being strongly encouraged by him and our boss to apply for his position, which is full-time and permanent. (Application process is a formality. I’m pretty confident I would be hired if I applied.)
The position, at least on paper, would be a good move for me. I’m bored and poor as a freelancer, and the position would mean a big salary boost (likely 2.5x what I make now) and increased responsibility, as well as a new job title with lots of cachet. Also, I like the people there, and the office is very close to home (which is really important to me).
The problem is with the organization itself. There’s a lot of entropy, office politics, drama, and just plain bad decision-making that ensure 1) very little actually gets done, and 2) I wouldn’t learn much. I would also be managing others, which I’m not too keen on.
This means I probably wouldn’t be able to gain the experience necessary to pull off a similar position at another company. (Although I’m seriously considering going back to school in the next few years to do something completely different, so I’m not sure how much that matters.) I’m thinking this would be a nice stopgap between what I’m doing now and another career, but I could change my mind about school and be screwed down the road.
Now, for the personal issue. I worked with another contractor during my time at the company, and we became close buddies. I don’t see her as often as I’d like, but we stay in touch online and I consider her a good friend. She wants this job badly, plans to apply, and needs it much, much more than me. She has kids, and getting the job would mean a better quality of life for her whole family. We discussed the issue, and she said I should do what’s right for me, but it was pretty clear she’d be very hurt and disappointed if I got the job over her. And I would feel guilty.
The thing is, based on comments my supervisor made regarding her personality and experience, I’m not sure they would hire her regardless of whether I applied.
So here are the questions:
-Do I apply for a job that’s okay but not great knowing there’s a good chance I’d be hired and that I’d hurt someone I care about?
-If I don’t apply, how do I explain to my boss why I’m not applying? (They know I’m interested.)
I wouldn't think that there is an issue there. If the supervisor is preemptively slagging on the other candidate, I doubt you would be taking the job away from her anyhow, and all jobs come loaded with office drama.
The reality is that most of us have parts of our job we don't like but if, in the grand scheme of things, it's an improvement, apply. You can always go back to freelancing later if you change your mind.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:49 AM on January 8, 2010
The reality is that most of us have parts of our job we don't like but if, in the grand scheme of things, it's an improvement, apply. You can always go back to freelancing later if you change your mind.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:49 AM on January 8, 2010
As much as you like your friend and wish her well, you're not responsible for her well-being or for protecting her from the knocks of life. Nor is it really a foregone conclusion that you will get the job - what if a dark horse candidate applies? If you want the job, go for it and see what happens.
But it sounds to me that you really need to think carefully about what you want to do, and whether this job will get you there.
Good Luck!
posted by LN at 11:14 AM on January 8, 2010
But it sounds to me that you really need to think carefully about what you want to do, and whether this job will get you there.
Good Luck!
posted by LN at 11:14 AM on January 8, 2010
If you decide not to go for it, and if you can vouch for your friend's talents, I'd submit a written recommendation focusing on the talents that you, personally, can vouch for (in addition to talking to the hiring people). This will help her, and helping a friend always helps the helper (you) as well.
If you go for it though, go for it all-in. Don't feel guilty if you get the job, because you're clearly the preferred candidate. If she's a freelancer/contractor and you know she's good at that work, maybe a position of increased cachet will allow you to provide her more work either directly from your new position or by giving her a form recommendation to give to potential clients with your big-name big-cachet title on it.
So yeah. Either way you go, there's a bonus in it for your friend. Just remember to help her out some way regardless of your decision and you'll have a reason to feel good about how you're handling your relationship with her.
posted by lorrer at 11:25 AM on January 8, 2010
If you go for it though, go for it all-in. Don't feel guilty if you get the job, because you're clearly the preferred candidate. If she's a freelancer/contractor and you know she's good at that work, maybe a position of increased cachet will allow you to provide her more work either directly from your new position or by giving her a form recommendation to give to potential clients with your big-name big-cachet title on it.
So yeah. Either way you go, there's a bonus in it for your friend. Just remember to help her out some way regardless of your decision and you'll have a reason to feel good about how you're handling your relationship with her.
posted by lorrer at 11:25 AM on January 8, 2010
You really cannot worry about your friend, she knows you might be applying for the position and I guarantee you that if she were to get the job over you she wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
She will be no worse off than she is right now if you get his position and as lorrer said if you get it she will likely be better off than is some dark horse is chosen over her.
Apply for it.
posted by BobbyDigital at 11:57 AM on January 8, 2010
She will be no worse off than she is right now if you get his position and as lorrer said if you get it she will likely be better off than is some dark horse is chosen over her.
Apply for it.
posted by BobbyDigital at 11:57 AM on January 8, 2010
all jobs come loaded with office drama
A thousand times this. The best way to deal with it is to not participate in the drama as much as possible and that goes with every job.
I think you should apply. It may not be your dream job, but it's a much better jumping off point than where you are now. Let your friend manage her own life.
posted by Kimberly at 12:12 PM on January 8, 2010
A thousand times this. The best way to deal with it is to not participate in the drama as much as possible and that goes with every job.
I think you should apply. It may not be your dream job, but it's a much better jumping off point than where you are now. Let your friend manage her own life.
posted by Kimberly at 12:12 PM on January 8, 2010
The problem is with the organization itself. Thereâs a lot of entropy, office politics, drama, and just plain bad decision-making that ensure 1) very little actually gets done, and 2) I wouldnât learn much.
That sounds like every company that ever existed.
This means I probably wouldnât be able to gain the experience necessary to pull off a similar position at another company. (Although Iâm seriously considering going back to school in the next few years to do something completely different, so Iâm not sure how much that matters.) Iâm thinking this would be a nice stopgap between what Iâm doing now and another career, but I could change my mind about school and be screwed down the road.
The title with this company will open a lot of doors. A lot of times, it makes sense to get the title on your resume, since that's what most future employers are going to look at in order to get your foot in the door. I don't know what kind of field you're in, so learning and experience may be at a higher premium than job title (it varies from industry to industry), but a lot of the time, employers assume that if one company was willing to give you a title and salary, you're qualified for the same, or better, title and salary at their organization.
posted by xingcat at 12:15 PM on January 8, 2010
That sounds like every company that ever existed.
This means I probably wouldnât be able to gain the experience necessary to pull off a similar position at another company. (Although Iâm seriously considering going back to school in the next few years to do something completely different, so Iâm not sure how much that matters.) Iâm thinking this would be a nice stopgap between what Iâm doing now and another career, but I could change my mind about school and be screwed down the road.
The title with this company will open a lot of doors. A lot of times, it makes sense to get the title on your resume, since that's what most future employers are going to look at in order to get your foot in the door. I don't know what kind of field you're in, so learning and experience may be at a higher premium than job title (it varies from industry to industry), but a lot of the time, employers assume that if one company was willing to give you a title and salary, you're qualified for the same, or better, title and salary at their organization.
posted by xingcat at 12:15 PM on January 8, 2010
If you don't apply, and your friend doesn't get the job, will you be disappointed? Because there's no guarantee she's even on their list.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:21 PM on January 8, 2010
posted by bluedaisy at 12:21 PM on January 8, 2010
If you take the position, you could hire (or continue/resume contracting with) your friend and groom her in case you do go back to school or quit due to the drama.
You could also be the person who is the catalyst for change to better the decisionmaking and reducing the drama. Hey, it could happen.
posted by rhizome at 1:19 PM on January 8, 2010
You could also be the person who is the catalyst for change to better the decisionmaking and reducing the drama. Hey, it could happen.
posted by rhizome at 1:19 PM on January 8, 2010
This is tough. It sounds unlikely that your friend will get the job regardless of whether you apply, but that fact is irrelevant when it comes to your relationship with her. If you apply and get it, you can't very well tell her, "Don't worry, you probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway because my supervisor doesn't think highly of you."
If you don't apply and your friend gets it, will you resent her? If you don't apply and someone else gets it, will you resent her just the same? These are things to think about. There are good suggestions upthread about how to send more work her way if you wind up getting the position. At the end of the day, though, you need to determine how the different outcomes will affect your friendship, how you feel about those effects, and how long-term those effects would be.
On a professional level, it sounds like you should go for the job.
My gut feeling is that you should apply for the job, but I don't know you or your friend so my gut feeling probably isn't very helpful :-)
As far as what to tell your supervisor if you decide not to apply: you can simply say you thought it over and it didn't seem like the right position for you right now. If pressed for more detail, you can mention the things you dislike about the organization, like its politics.
posted by whitelily at 4:01 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
If you don't apply and your friend gets it, will you resent her? If you don't apply and someone else gets it, will you resent her just the same? These are things to think about. There are good suggestions upthread about how to send more work her way if you wind up getting the position. At the end of the day, though, you need to determine how the different outcomes will affect your friendship, how you feel about those effects, and how long-term those effects would be.
On a professional level, it sounds like you should go for the job.
My gut feeling is that you should apply for the job, but I don't know you or your friend so my gut feeling probably isn't very helpful :-)
As far as what to tell your supervisor if you decide not to apply: you can simply say you thought it over and it didn't seem like the right position for you right now. If pressed for more detail, you can mention the things you dislike about the organization, like its politics.
posted by whitelily at 4:01 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
One more thought: do you think your friend honestly wants you to refrain from applying for a job you want? Her being disappointed at the thought of not getting it isn't the same as her actively wanting you to deny yourself an opportunity.
Let us know how it turns out...
posted by whitelily at 7:42 AM on January 10, 2010
Let us know how it turns out...
posted by whitelily at 7:42 AM on January 10, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
As for your friend, would she likely get the position if you don't apply? It doesn't sound like it. Only you can weight what it would mean if (A) you get the job with 2.5 times the salary and the job title for your resume, but with some strain to your relationship with your friend against (B) neither you nor your friend getting the job, and you possibly disappointing your superior and former superior by not applying.
posted by paulg at 5:47 AM on January 9, 2010