SSRIs and anorgasmia in partner sex not solo: stop solo?
December 30, 2009 10:17 AM   Subscribe

Anorgasmia and SSRIs again. Should I give up "private time"?

This has come up before but when faced with inability to come with my wife of 11 years, it's tempting to use net pr0n & masturbation for as long as it takes (hour+ at times). I'm afraid I'm desensitizing myself.

One answer describes my response well: waves of intense feelings (today I even thought I'd ejaculated without an orgasm), but no big-O.

My wife's very understanding & accommodating, but she has neuromuscular issues that mean she's unable to provide sufficient (prolonged!) manual stimulation. When she grabs my shaft & massages my perineum (during missionary) it feels *great* & I get close. Her natural lubrication would be sufficient for regular sex, but can be too much for a marathon.

I've been on Wellbutrin 150mg SR 2x/day & Cymbalta 30mg 1x for a few years, Wellbutrin + Prozac for a few before that, but switched in hopes of helping with my own neuromuscular forearm/shoulder/too-much-typing pain.

This problem comes & goes but over the holidays it's been worse. I proposed we try every day (implying no masturbation), and her attitude is positive & helpful as usual, but I'm afraid we might just increase the pressure to come. She often comes right after I do, so this is directly frustrating for her too (besides her sympathy for my plight). I know her coming then (when I'm not anorgasmic) sounds awfully convenient & suspect of being faked, but <TMI warning> 1) she seems to like the wet&messy feeling while we continue while I'm semi-hard 2) ¿my pleasure matters a lot to her?
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (4 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm a little confused. Are you saying she can only have an orgasm from vaginal intercourse with your penis? Because what's to stop you from, when it doesn't work for you, trying something else that does work for her--oral, manual, vibrator, whatever does get her off? There's no reason for two people not to have orgasms because one person's hydraulics aren't responding.

As for your own hydraulics, if perineum stimulation works great for you, but she can't provide that for long enough, why not consider NSFW a prostate toy with perineum stimulation?

Also, "trying every day" sounds like a chore to me. "Having sex as much as you want and not worrying about whether you both get there every time" sounds like fun.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:56 AM on December 30, 2009


Cymbalta killed my sex drive. And by killed, I mean strangled it, wrapped it in plastic, tied weights on and dropped it in the ocean. Stopping Cymbalta revived it completely. You seem to have added Cymbalta for pain issues - if you feel it's not working in that respect I suggest talking to your doctor about finding another drug that can help that aspect of your problem. Ginkgo Biloba may also help - try googling ginkgo and SSRI and there's a lot of testimonials and a couple of studies that suggest GB may help with sexual side effects of ssri's. Good luck!

IANAD, YMMV
posted by kittyloop at 11:48 AM on December 30, 2009


second sidhedevil on not making sex into a chore! it's stressful and makes sex less enjoyable.

Her natural lubrication would be sufficient for regular sex, but can be too much for a marathon.

standard (and correct) ask metafilter response to this particular bit: get some lube! even if her natural lubrication works fine, it's still going to be better with good lube. ask metafilter's favorite lube, which i also heartily endorse from my personal life: liquid silk.
posted by lia at 11:49 AM on December 30, 2009


Hmm...what would happen if you only took Welbutrin?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:21 PM on December 30, 2009


« Older Richmond, VA: help a new grad find his first...   |   Publish poetry/illustrations Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.