Help me find a fragrance for a young woman!
December 22, 2009 8:51 AM   Subscribe

Please help me find a fragrance for a young woman! I have asked her what she wears (she always wears some scent), and her reply is vague: "I have a number of spritzes I use." I would like to get her something that she likes. I have no idea what a spritz is.

The fragrances she wears are fresh-smelling, and not overbearing, pretentious, or intense. I don't know whether I am looking for a perfume, an eau de toilette, or something else. This is a young woman, in her twenties, fairly casual in her style. I am willing to go to a department store or anywhere else you suggest. (But I probably don't have time to order it online.) All suggestions are welcome and appreciated--I would love to hear about something you have liked.

Anonymous because she might see this under my Metafilter username.
posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (42 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Perfumes smell very different on different people. Unless she has asked you specifically for perfume and given you suggestions, I recommend choosing a different gift. It's going to be very difficult to figure out what will smell good on her and what she'll like.
posted by decathecting at 8:57 AM on December 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sephora has several samplers that include 8 or 10 sample sizes of perfume, and a coupon good for a full-size bottle of her favorite of those samples. Might be a good way for her to try a few without spending a lot on something that might not suit her.
posted by ferociouskitty at 8:59 AM on December 22, 2009 [11 favorites]


Yeah, I’ve tried it before – perfume is at the same time a really broad category of gift (a million different smell combinations depending on the brand and the individual) and a really narrow category (every person has their own specific taste most likely). Speaking from experience, I would find something else.
posted by Think_Long at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2009


A "spritz" is just a jokey way to refer to perfume, given the near ubiquitous spray bottle. Ditto who decathecting says--perfumes (and colognes) smell different on each person's skin. Moreover, a scent is a very personal choice--one you like may give her a headache. I would buy her perfume only if 1) you know the exact scent she likes (not just the notes, but the particular perfume, e.g., Amarige or Coco Mademoiselle) and 2) it is something she can't afford for herself. Otherwise, it feels no different than just replacing any other (albeit expensive) consumable good--like buying deodorant as a stocking stuffer.

I'd look for something else.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:04 AM on December 22, 2009


Generally, "spritzes" are less powerful than perfumes - its hard to have them smell overbearing without literally dumping the bottle on yourself. They go by several other names, such as body splashes or body sprays. Since she has a variety, she will probably be responsive to trying new smells and refreshing her supply (in general, women I know experiment more with spritzes but may be more loyal to or particular about a perfume, since perfume is stronger). Bath and Body Works has quite a selection, as well as shops in practically every mall in the US where you can go and smell them for yourself.
posted by fermezporte at 9:09 AM on December 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Christopher Brosius is pretty awesome.
posted by electroboy at 9:15 AM on December 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


I love ferociouskitty's idea. If she says she has a number of them already and always smells good, she might be the kind of girl who likes to go into a store and try out every bottle, then getting a whole bunch of little bottles might be fun for her. But I would not buy her a whole big bottle of something, it would be like finding a needle in a haystack and it wouldn't have the "fun" factor of the sample box.
posted by amethysts at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2009


The Sephora sample kit is the way to go. I got one for Christmas last year and was able to get what I liked best. Bath and Body Works has copied this concept and has a similar sample box available this year. I think another store does as well; might be Victoria's Secret (which is owned by the same company as B&BW).

Perfume is really personal. For example, I don't really like floral scents, but I love citrus (especially bergamot), spicy, and woody scents, so if you don't know her preference, the sheer number of scent combinations out there is too much to sort through.
posted by cmgonzalez at 9:25 AM on December 22, 2009


A "spritz" is just a jokey way to refer to perfume

No, people today generally only use it for weaker-strength scents, the kind of formulations that used to be called "eaux de toilette." A lot of people who purvey scent to the young find that "spritz" works better than "eau de toilette" because nobody wants to smell like toilet water.

Seconding ferociouskitty's "buy a sample set of fun things" suggestion. Not things that are labeled "perfume"--things that are labeled "spritz" or "eau de toilette" or "body spray".
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:26 AM on December 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


If you're looking for actual scent ideas rather than gift advice, I fit the same demographic as your lady friend and alternate between three scents on a daily basis:

-Bath and Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom
-Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue
-Dior J'Adore.

All three of these are pretty fresh, light, floral-fruity sorts of fragrances (J'Adore can be heavier if it's layered with the matching body lotion, although I don't do this). All three of my fragrances are eau de toilette formulation, which is heavier than a spritz and lighter than a parfum (the heaviest and by far the most expensive formulation). Unless the scent she wants is incredibly specific, I'd go with eau de toilette.

As others have mentioned, scents do change on different people (my best friend smells delicious in Amarige, whereas it smells overbearing on me), but these three are pretty safe. They're not complex, but I feel they suit my age and style - I'm saving the Chanel for when I'm older.

Good luck!
posted by timetoevolve at 9:27 AM on December 22, 2009


Does it have to be perfume? In my mind, that's a super intimate and personal gift you get for somebody when you know them really, really well. It almost sends the message of, "We are so close that I already know how great this well smell on your skin." Many others will disagree I'm sure; those are just my thoughts on perfume/spritz/smelly things.

Also, how she responded...that's probably what I would say if I didn't want somebody to buy me perfume. I like to choose how I smell, and am pretty selective about letting others impose their smells on me, perfumes or otherwise. Which is probably also part of why I think it's such an intimate gift.
posted by iamkimiam at 9:29 AM on December 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm probably looking too closely at this but.... I do not know your relationship to the young woman but scent is kind of an intimate gift. If you are not particularly close, could she have been being intentionally vague?
posted by Morrigan at 9:31 AM on December 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


That phrase "I have a number of spritzes I use" does sound like it might be a polite way to say "My choice in scent is something more intimate than I'm happy to share with you", and perhaps even "Please don't buy me any".
posted by emilyw at 9:39 AM on December 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


Yes, if this is your teenaged niece or something, getting her a sample set of sprays might be OK after getting that response.

If this is a friend or someone you're interested in dating, the response was almost certaily meant as a discouragement.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:42 AM on December 22, 2009


I think perfume works as a gift, but if you don't know Young Lady well, I would go with the sephora idea. If you do, feel free to roll the dice. FWIW, I'm picked up my lady friend perfume for christmas. She loved it, but we've been together for 3 years.
posted by craven_morhead at 10:03 AM on December 22, 2009


Whenever I get someone something that I'm not 300% positive they'll love, I ask for a "gift reciept" when I purchase it and then include it (descretly) with the gift. That way if it is not to their liking, they know it is ok to return/exchange. That may be the way to go here.
posted by cestmoi15 at 10:04 AM on December 22, 2009


That phrase "I have a number of spritzes I use" does sound like it might be a polite way to say "My choice in scent is something more intimate than I'm happy to share with you", and perhaps even "Please don't buy me any".

Just putting it out there, but I've read some really silly dating articles that advise to keep your scent name to yourself to provide an air of mystery, among other tiny secrets. It could just be a dismissal of the offer though.
posted by cmgonzalez at 10:04 AM on December 22, 2009


I wouldn't necessarily see a vague response as a brush-off. A lot of scents, body sprays, and stuff like that have long, stupid, meaningless names. Personally I wouldn't feel the need to rattle off a long list of names unless it was to someone who would know what I was talking about.
posted by amethysts at 10:08 AM on December 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Others might differ, but here's what I understand as US scent etiquette. The following people are generally welcome to give women gifts of scent:

Spouses or romantic partners of at least a couple months' standing; female friends; gay male friends; siblings; parents; grandparents; aunts.

If you aren't on that list, she probably doesn't want a gift of scent from you.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:14 AM on December 22, 2009


Others might differ, but here's what I understand as US scent etiquette. The following people are generally welcome to give women gifts of scent:

- People who would like to subtly hint that she smells bad
posted by Sys Rq at 10:19 AM on December 22, 2009


One thing I did with Mrs. Plinth when we were dating was I took her to the men's counter in a department store, selected 4 or 5 colognes and let her choose after putting them on me. You could do the same with her, except, you know, in reverse.
posted by plinth at 10:32 AM on December 22, 2009


- People who would like to subtly hint that she smells bad

I don't think the recipient would welcome that, no.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:34 AM on December 22, 2009


I actually disagree with the suggestions of the Sephora sample kit. I wear similar fragrances and many of the ones in the Sephora sample kits are waaaay too overbearing for me. If that was given to me as a gift, I would use maybe 2 of them and would end up giving the rest of them away/throwing them away.

Also, like fermezporte, when I hear "spritz", I think of a body splash. If she wore a single perfume, I would think that she would tell you about it (for example, I only wear Vera Wang's Princess). They're usually a lot less expensive and a lot lighter than a perfume. I wouldn't consider her response as a dismissal, but more that she probably wears a variety and didn't want to list them all off.

I would go with a gift card.
posted by kro at 10:39 AM on December 22, 2009


Burberry makes some rather subtle lovely scents. Check them out!
posted by herbaliser at 10:40 AM on December 22, 2009


Love the discussion going on here. I also agree that perfume/scents are very personal, and intimate as a gift. Since you asked anonymously, I might be reading too much into your wording and even the assumption that you are male, but do you fancy yourself as a father figure, or mature male figure to this woman? Perhaps with unrequited romantic interests?

From the wrong person, perfume as a gift is something thats more for the giver than the receiver. It says "this is something I would like to smell on you". Imagine giving the same person underwear, "this is something I would like to see on you". From a lover, thats exciting. From someone more like a stranger, a violation of privacy and intimacy. Of course its very different if this gift is from your mom, or female relative.

I'd also say that something like a lotion/shower gel/spray set from bath and body works is different. It's more impersonal, like a box of chocolates or a coffee mug. It's also a default gift for a "girl".

All that being said, this gift is your choice and you're making an informed decision to give it to her.

I love Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue. It's citrus, bergamot, light but a bit spicy. Clinique Happy, CK1, Escada Magnetisim all fit this bills as well. As far as "spritzes" or cheap stuff for everyday wear, I like Victoria Secret's Vanilla Lace.

Any department store perfume person will know what scents to look for. Theres quite a bit of established etiquette when it comes to what scents are appropriate for young vs. mature women, and they'll help you navigate.
posted by fontophilic at 10:56 AM on December 22, 2009


Mod note: This is a followup from the asker.
I'm romantically involved with the young woman in question. The Sephora sampler sounds like a neat idea, and the other "safe" suggestions offered by timetoevolve are pretty much what I was looking for. Thanks, everyone ... and I'll be watching for any more suggestions that come along.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:45 AM on December 22, 2009


good answer, fontophillic. Regarding giving scents as something the giver would like to smell on the givee, that's exactly how it worked for me. I wouldn't go that route unless lingerie would also be an option available to you.
posted by craven_morhead at 11:52 AM on December 22, 2009


A "spritz" is just a jokey way to refer to perfume

No, people today generally only use it for weaker-strength scents, the kind of formulations that used to be called "eaux de toilette."


I don't disagree. I just was making things simpler for the OP rather than distinguishing between perfume and eau de toilette. I don't recall ever seeing perfumes in spray bottles.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:24 PM on December 22, 2009


Fresh-smelling, and not overbearing, pretentious, or intense = Philosophy's "Pure Grace". Their shelf-hyperbole refers to it as a "soap and water scent", and that's not too far off. It's very light, very clean, reads more like "you smell good" than "you smell like perfume". I don't believe it comes in a splash or spritz-type application, but the scent is so light and fresh that even the perfume oil rollerball thing smells amazing. They have spray perfume, body wash, body lotion, hand cream, probably other forms. They carry it at Sephora and department stores (with a Philosophy counter).
posted by ersatzkat at 12:38 PM on December 22, 2009


Get her a couple of sampler packs from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. I've yet to meet someone who was serious about perfume that didn't love BPAL; they have hundreds upon hundreds of scents, and they sell perfume oil -- meaning it isn't already diluted down with alcohol or carrier oil, meaning she can dilute it down herself to whatever strength she likes.
posted by Nattie at 1:21 PM on December 22, 2009


I was just given a bottle of "Japanese cherry blossom" "fragrance mist" from a woman friend from Bath and Body Works, along with some other items in that fragrance, including a candle, hand sanitizer, lotion and hand lotion. The same woman gave some other friends similar items from the same store in "Amber' and "Vanilla Verbena." All are very light, fresh smells.

You may want to take your nose to Bath and Body Works, find an appealing fragrance that seems to be in the style of your romantic partner, and get a few items in that fragrance. That's always a thoughtful gift.
posted by bearwife at 1:22 PM on December 22, 2009


And I would just add, for your information, that in terms of intensity, perfume is the most concentrated and heaviest form of fragrance, eaux de cologne is lighter but still hard to miss, and eaux de toilette is the lightest. My guess would be that your friend wears a lighter mix like eau de cologne or eau de toilette.

And I have one more light but lovely fragrance suggestion: Design. The only place I can find it these days is on line, though it used to be available in any good department store's perfume counter.
posted by bearwife at 1:28 PM on December 22, 2009


I've yet to meet someone who was serious about perfume that didn't love BPAL

Me! I don't hate their stuff, but I don't find it particularly interesting.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:28 PM on December 22, 2009


Try Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Mandarine-Basilic.
posted by iviken at 1:39 PM on December 22, 2009


Jo Malone makes some nice, citrus-y scents ...
posted by mozhet at 8:05 PM on December 22, 2009


Something from Demeter might fit the bill.

I like Laundromat.
posted by generalist at 8:16 PM on December 22, 2009


Since she is already sophisticated enough to have a palette of scents or 'fragrance wardrobe' there most assuredly are several scents or perfumes she aspires to experience but doesn't yet have the budget for. (She already tried them but has yet to buy them). Artfully discover what they are and indulge her.
posted by Muirwylde at 12:39 AM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Something from Demeter might fit the bill.

Just a note that Christopher Brosius was the founder of Demeter and created most of their scents. Both great though.
posted by electroboy at 10:13 AM on December 23, 2009


L'Occitane's Cherry Blossom is a spritz-type scent that fits your description nicely. We don't have BBW in australia, so I don't know how close their scent is.

An odd suggestion: could you sneak a quick photo of her perfume collection and take it to a Sephora? They should be able to identify the scents from the bottles and help with suggestions. Sounds creepy, but may work in a pinch.

The Sephora sampler sounds excellent, however. Good luck!
posted by chronic sublime at 5:03 PM on December 23, 2009


Sephora's web site also has a Fragrance Finder feature (http://www.sephora.com/browse/me/index.jhtml) that can suggest scents she might like based on her current favourites. You can search by fragrance family (e.g. fresh, or floral, and so on).
posted by curiouskitty at 6:58 PM on December 23, 2009


If you get some samples from Sephora I recommend trying Burberry's The Beat, it is what I wear and I'm constantly getting complimented on it. It's really nice and light and doesn't even really smell "perfumey". That said, do get a sample first because as an above commenter noted, perfumes do smell different on each person. Perhaps you could get a bunch of samples, they give you the tiny ones for free -- and then give her a $60 gift-card to Sephora so that when she decides which one she likes she can go back and get it.
posted by blue_bicycle at 8:58 AM on December 24, 2009


From the original poster:
So I checked out a bunch of the fragrances you all recommended. Light Blue and Princess were strong contenders. (I wanted to visit Sephora but wasn't able to make it there.) I was interested in Philosophy's Pure Grace based on the description one of you gave above. While checking it out, I also smelled Philosophy's Amazing Grace. I ended up going with Amazing Grace. I gave it to her and she really likes it. She wore it last night and it smells great. And she seemed delighted to be given a fragrance.

Thanks for all the help. I'm going to keep the other suggestions in mind for future gift-giving occasions.
posted by mathowie at 4:13 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


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