A Campy Christmas
December 15, 2009 5:23 PM   Subscribe

I'd like to decorate my apartment in the most campy way possible. What must I have?
posted by bigmusic to Society & Culture (38 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
For Christmas, not full time campy.
posted by bigmusic at 5:24 PM on December 15, 2009

Damn, I was so excited to recommend a duck phone (ours is my most prized possession).

For Christmas, nothing says "Screw your aesthetic sensibilities!" like lots of blinking multicolored Christmas lights on everything.
posted by oinopaponton at 5:27 PM on December 15, 2009

Oh, I was going to recommend a disco ball.


No, you know what? I'm still going to recommend a disco ball.
posted by ErikaB at 5:28 PM on December 15, 2009 [3 favorites]

I hope you have some reindeer sweaters.

Uh, giant nativity scenes? Is that the kind of campy you're aiming for?
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:35 PM on December 15, 2009

A plastic pink flamingo with a red ribbon around its neck?
posted by crunchtopmuffin at 5:35 PM on December 15, 2009

You need this mug shot of John Waters framed and hanging on your wall.
posted by Houyhnhnm at 5:36 PM on December 15, 2009 [2 favorites]

a wreath, with lots and lots of stuff in it.
posted by nadawi at 5:38 PM on December 15, 2009

You need a big pre-lit plastic santa and/or snowman. Maybe some pre-lit plastic reindeer to go along with it. Usually these are out on the lawn, but I think you'd do well to have them in the middle of your living room.
posted by rhartong at 5:38 PM on December 15, 2009

The Green Head has some fun and offbeat stuff.

And you have to get some of those Hallmark figures that light up and play music.
posted by TooFewShoes at 5:39 PM on December 15, 2009

Goes unsaid, I think.
posted by inigo2 at 5:43 PM on December 15, 2009 [2 favorites]

Just replicate the Christmas version of Disney's It's A Small World Ride and you'll be all set.
posted by The World Famous at 5:44 PM on December 15, 2009

-Tinsel garland draped over every doorway and window. Bonus points for awful colors like fucshia and double bonus points for candy canes or jingle bells hanging off the garland.

-Clashing strings of Christmas lights. Large bulbs with small bulbs, white with multicolored, flashing with solid.

-Fake snow in the windows, either spray-on or cotton wool variety.

-Anamatronic Santas.

-Stockings, preferably the classic red faux-velvet trimmed with white faux-fur. Use sparkly puffy paint to write your names on the white fur part.

-Wrapping paper and bows to disguise normal wall art and other rectangular household objects as "presents".
posted by homuncula at 5:45 PM on December 15, 2009

As for basics, you can tape up christmas lights on your wall in the form of shapes (murals).
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 5:46 PM on December 15, 2009

A life-sized plush reindeer eating from a summer sausage-filled basket purchased at Hickory Farms, of course.

Be sure to hang this velvet painting of St. Nick from eBay just above it.

It would be nice to have a leg lamp in the window to light Santa's way, too.

Be sure to leave this classic tome on Campy Christmas Curiosities out on your coffee table, too.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 5:49 PM on December 15, 2009

Actually, honestly, if you go to Walmart and whatever version of Ocean City Job Lots or Christmas Tree stores exists in your area, you're going to find a goldmine.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:49 PM on December 15, 2009

Might I suggest some offensive wrapping paper for your gifts?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 5:51 PM on December 15, 2009

Wreaths -everywhere-. Any possible flat surface that doesn't have a wreathe on it needs one. Particularly if you can get the horridly cinnamon scented ones.
posted by BZArcher at 5:51 PM on December 15, 2009

Print a wall-sized poster of the campy Christmas image of your choice?
posted by aquafortis at 5:53 PM on December 15, 2009

Pink fake Christmas tree, obviously.
posted by MsMolly at 6:13 PM on December 15, 2009

Tinsel, tinsel, tinsel.

Also, Three Glittery Wisemen. You can have my mom's.
posted by pised at 6:19 PM on December 15, 2009

Disco balls = no brainer. It should be done already. And if you can get a motorised mirror ball n strobe, so much the better. Don't forget to put some RuPaul on the turntable.
posted by honey-barbara at 7:20 PM on December 15, 2009

Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics
posted by cali59 at 7:48 PM on December 15, 2009

- Mix styles- rustic cabin meets gold&silver meets 1973. (all Christmas decor- you'll notice Target this year broke up their decor into four different styles- mix and match at will)

- Go for figurines that have springs connecting their heads to their bodies (Santas, snowmen, etc.)

- Throw glitter on everything. And then repeat.

- Fiberoptic wreath, angel and tree.

- Over the top sports-themed/Disney-themed/etc. holiday: either sports team Santa with the same kind of stocking, or Disney movie themed stocking, ornaments, tree skirt. Bonus points for garish colors.

- Light up plastic elf/Santa- we had one of these when I was a kid. All plastic, lightbulb inside.

- Yulelog TV channel.

- The more cutesy the better- "Santa, I can explain" signs, for example.

- Musical stuffed and animated decor. Check your local Walgreen's or CVS.
posted by questionsandanchors at 7:57 PM on December 15, 2009

The barking-dog version of "Jingle Bells" should be on repeat, naturally.
posted by chowflap at 8:13 PM on December 15, 2009

Go for the stereotypical Tropical Holiday scenery. Replace Christmas Tree with light-wrapped palm tree. Plastic Flamingos with Christmas Regalia. Dancing Santa in Sunglasses, Bermuda Shorts and whatever-the-heck-those-patterned-shirts-are-called-why-can't-I-remember.
posted by that girl at 8:20 PM on December 15, 2009

My mom has glitter covered white unicorns.

posted by ocherdraco at 8:26 PM on December 15, 2009

You should get a rubber lobster, only make paper snowflakes and glue them to the lobster. Then hang the lobsters on your wall, or put them on your Christmas tree.

Yeah, that's good.
posted by elder18 at 8:27 PM on December 15, 2009

Perhaps you should visit the Thrift Shop Horrors Livejournal group and just take notes of what people posts.
posted by smallerdemon at 9:08 PM on December 15, 2009

Go to the nearest Borders and buy up every tiny tacky tree (in various colors!) that you can find. Tree forest! That's what I do, anyway.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:13 PM on December 15, 2009

Holiday Billy Bass wall plaque - nothing says Christmas like an animatronic singing fish in a Santa hat.
posted by Neely O'Hara at 11:32 PM on December 15, 2009

No kitsch is complete without Climbing Santa.
posted by Paris Elk at 12:59 AM on December 16, 2009

I'll lend you my 45-piece All-Camel Creche.

It was really hard to find a camel that was small enough and respectful enough for mangering.
posted by Sallyfur at 3:36 AM on December 16, 2009

The hispanic families of my neighborhood have turned me on to the tacky joy that can be attained by overdosing on blow mold lawn decor... especially when extended to in-home use.

Truly great lawn ornaments (especially the illuminated ones) shouldn't be limited to the yard, people. Bring 'em indoors where they can fill some space. Walk on the wild side.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:06 AM on December 16, 2009

For next year: http://www.amazon.com/SHOPPINGGIFTSONLINE-K-31039-CORRUGATED-FIREPLACE/dp/B001FKC80E
posted by peagood at 4:13 PM on December 27, 2009

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