Redneck Christmas
December 15, 2009 11:11 AM   Subscribe

Help me fet a last minute, work appropriate, theme-relevant gift!

My work is doing Secret Santa tomorrow. The problem is, I am new at my workplace and I drew my new boss.

The catch is, there is a theme. The theme is redneck (I know.) I have no idea what to do with this. The spending limit is $15, and he already has a fair number of gag-gifty things because of a themed party he has every year for his Texan wife (he is not from the US).

What can I get that is work appropriate, theme appropriate and can be bought in person, tonight? I also really hate the idea of buying, and giving something, hilarious though it might be, that will undoubtedly be thrown out/never used, or something that is too offensive (depsite our theme).
posted by whodatninja to Shopping (26 answers total)
 
Get. Not fet.
posted by whodatninja at 11:12 AM on December 15, 2009


A red scarf?
posted by TooFewShoes at 11:15 AM on December 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Foil pan, stick of butter, bar of chocolate, box of saltines. Recipe for most delicious dessert ever.
posted by 8dot3 at 11:15 AM on December 15, 2009


A red scarf. (Pun! Get it!?)
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 11:17 AM on December 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Beer.
posted by Sassyfras at 11:25 AM on December 15, 2009


A potted cactus? Beer? Tex-mex food? Gift certificate to a tex-mex restaurant?
posted by barnone at 11:27 AM on December 15, 2009


I don't know where you are but check craigslist for "Big Mouth Billy Bass". Mine has them from 5-25 dollars. If you can't find that I'll link you some things...
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=12422433
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10928569
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=11071644
posted by syntheticfaith at 11:27 AM on December 15, 2009


Oooh link fail. Here, Here, and Here.
posted by syntheticfaith at 11:28 AM on December 15, 2009


Sorry - those were really vaguely Texas themed, not redneck themed.
posted by barnone at 11:28 AM on December 15, 2009


Is there a John Deere store around? Get a hat.

Anything NASCAR. This might be gag, but lots of non-rednecks like it - hell, I'll even watch it for a bit while squirrels roast on the spit. Maybe a NASCAR hat?
posted by yeti at 11:31 AM on December 15, 2009


A Jeff Foxworthy book or CD?
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:32 AM on December 15, 2009


Redneck speaking:

1. 1978 Car Repair Guide from an automotive repair store
2. Red plaid shirt
3. Nascar anything
4. Bar-B-Que anything
posted by 2legit2quit at 11:36 AM on December 15, 2009


Oooh, this past summer I actually went to a Redneck 4th of July parade. They handed out Redneck back-scratchers. Take a stick that they give away at Lowe's or Home Depot - the ones that you use for stirring paint.

Get three beer bottle caps (you'll have to drink the beers first). Glue the bottle caps in a row on one end of the stick, with the "serrated" edge of the cap facing out.

Ta-da! Back-scratcher!

But, if you don't want to be that crafty, just get a toilet brush and attach a tag on it that says, "Redneck Backscratcher." Yeah, make sure it's a new toilet brush.
posted by Sassyfras at 11:38 AM on December 15, 2009


You could make White Trash and put it in a tin. Recipe!
posted by peep at 11:38 AM on December 15, 2009


Good ideas so far, keep them coming- I especially like the red scarf because it fits theme in a clever way, but is an actual usable gift. Anything else in that vein?
posted by whodatninja at 11:40 AM on December 15, 2009


A pallet of cheap beer was my first thought. Or a case of jerky. A hunting cap. White Trash Cooking.

Sunscreen.
posted by knile at 11:41 AM on December 15, 2009


Obviously, a Beer Can Chicken Roaster.

Beer can chicken is actually good, too. You can find this at Wal-Mart, Home Depot, most any store.

Add some cans of beer, plus a frozen chicken if you are able to store it properly, and you are good to go. Wrap it all in duct tape.
posted by castlebravo at 11:50 AM on December 15, 2009


A nice chili or bean soup mix, with some kind of pot to make it in. Not too funny, but thematic and nice.
posted by amtho at 12:36 PM on December 15, 2009


A red scarf. (Pun! Get it!?)

Because he's the rednecker chief?
posted by fleacircus at 12:49 PM on December 15, 2009


Duct Tape. An assortment.
posted by cross_impact at 12:58 PM on December 15, 2009


Seconding White Trash Cooking -- from what I've seen of it, it actually had a lot of decent recipes in it rather than being all HURF DURF PROCESSED CRAP.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:04 PM on December 15, 2009


A set of fake teeth.
posted by reddot at 1:26 PM on December 15, 2009


Because he's the rednecker chief?

With matching nappy kin?

Create a Mullet hat to keep thier mullet warm.
posted by artdrectr at 1:40 PM on December 15, 2009


Third vote for White Trash Cooking. We bought it, occasionally cook from it (too often and it's a recipe for a coronary), but it also acts as a great conversation piece.
posted by arcticseal at 1:56 PM on December 15, 2009


You can sometimes find Nascar-themed beer mugs, which fit the theme nicely and are also useful.

Sunblock for the red neck (though, like the red scarf, not everyone will get it at first).
posted by misha at 3:18 PM on December 15, 2009


I vote for food, too. It doesn't clutter up the place the way a silly gag gift would. 8dot3 is right, that recipe is shockingly delicious, AND redneck! Beer is another obvious one.

If you wanted to be kind of a suck-up, you could buy a pack of steaks. I mean, assuming your boss isn't vegetarian obviously.
posted by ErikaB at 5:41 PM on December 15, 2009


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