Tips for strips?
December 9, 2009 7:58 PM Subscribe
StripClubFilter: The wife and I want to give going to a strip club a chance. I've only been to two or three, and she's never been, so we're relative novices. What do we need to know?
We'll be going to the local Spearmint Rhino in Dallas, which is a national chain. From what I can tell, it's a pretty classy joint, but then again, I'm not sure what's classy for strip clubs. We're going because the headliner is a popular adult star, and we figured this was as good a time as any to try it out. We're both in our 20s, married, and comfortable in sexual situations.
A few questions:
Do I bring a wad of singles like we used to do in college the few times I went, or is this a different type of place?
Is going in with a woman lead to a different experience than going in with a group of guys? Different treatment?
Is there any expected dress?
I've only been to relatively skeezy clubs and a few nicer ones, but in Montreal. Is there any sort of strip club etiquette that I should know about? Tipping? Minimum drink orders?
I've agreed that if she (or I, for that matter) start feeling skeeved out, we'll bolt. Any ways to avoid that?
I figure it's a new experience, but like any new situation where I don't know the rules, I like to get advice in advance.
Any other tips/things I haven't thought about for a couple's first joint strip club visit would be much appreciated.
We'll be going to the local Spearmint Rhino in Dallas, which is a national chain. From what I can tell, it's a pretty classy joint, but then again, I'm not sure what's classy for strip clubs. We're going because the headliner is a popular adult star, and we figured this was as good a time as any to try it out. We're both in our 20s, married, and comfortable in sexual situations.
A few questions:
Do I bring a wad of singles like we used to do in college the few times I went, or is this a different type of place?
Is going in with a woman lead to a different experience than going in with a group of guys? Different treatment?
Is there any expected dress?
I've only been to relatively skeezy clubs and a few nicer ones, but in Montreal. Is there any sort of strip club etiquette that I should know about? Tipping? Minimum drink orders?
I've agreed that if she (or I, for that matter) start feeling skeeved out, we'll bolt. Any ways to avoid that?
I figure it's a new experience, but like any new situation where I don't know the rules, I like to get advice in advance.
Any other tips/things I haven't thought about for a couple's first joint strip club visit would be much appreciated.
Usually, you're not allowed to touch the dancers.
This is heavily, and I mean heavily, location dependent. I would be very surprised if it were true at a Spearmint Rhino which (from what I understand) is known both for being relatively upscale and relatively permissive.
posted by Justinian at 8:16 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is heavily, and I mean heavily, location dependent. I would be very surprised if it were true at a Spearmint Rhino which (from what I understand) is known both for being relatively upscale and relatively permissive.
posted by Justinian at 8:16 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Well, I live in Portland - strip club capital of the world. Here, a strip club is just a neighborhood bar with a naked lady on a stage, so YMMV. And I have no idea about your specific club.
Laws are different in each state - some states don't allow liquor in strip clubs, some don't allow full nudity - so you might want to check about Texas so you know what to expect.
-Obvs you cannot touch the dancers. Respect the dancers.
-traditionally, tipping is at least $1 per song if you're sitting at the stage - and each dancer (at least up here) gets three songs - um, one for just dancing, one topless, and one completely nude. If you're sitting away from the stage, tipping is less necessary - but you also don't want to sit in a corner and watch the whole night without tipping. While not against the rules, it's just bad form.
-Again I'm in Portland and we go to strip clubs in jeans and t-shirts; I would suggest erring on the side of over-dressing just in case. You don't want to feel uncomfortable. A suit is probably not necessary, but your Saturday yard work clothes are probably not ok.
-Going with a woman is great, actually (I always go with my girlfriend). I mean, it's just less skeezy. I go to the strip club that I frequent because the happy hour is fantastic and a friend of mine is a dancer there - so going with my girl makes me feel like less of a creeper. It's also nice because, unlike many bars, your lady probably won't get hit on that much. All the male attention tends to be directed toward the naked lady on stage. Plus the security tends to be pretty solid - my SO actually feels more comfortable and safer at a strip club than a regular old bar, strangely. Granted, the strip club we frequent is a very laid back place filled mostly with regulars drinking micros.
-There may or may not be a drink minimum. If there is I doubt it's more than 2. Though if you really don't want to drink you can usually talk your way out of the minimum. Just tip the dancers a bit extra.
-Most importantly, just have fun. Don't stress yourselves out of a good time. Contrary to some popular beliefs, strippers are not always forced into the gig because of drugs or some such thing. A lot of them are extremely talented, really enjoy their work and make great money. So just enjoy yourselves. Take time to appreciate the beauty of the human body (I always get a bit Kantian when I go to the strip club), have some good drinks, laugh a lot, don't take it too seriously. It's just naked people. It's pretty silly, actually.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:26 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
Laws are different in each state - some states don't allow liquor in strip clubs, some don't allow full nudity - so you might want to check about Texas so you know what to expect.
-Obvs you cannot touch the dancers. Respect the dancers.
-traditionally, tipping is at least $1 per song if you're sitting at the stage - and each dancer (at least up here) gets three songs - um, one for just dancing, one topless, and one completely nude. If you're sitting away from the stage, tipping is less necessary - but you also don't want to sit in a corner and watch the whole night without tipping. While not against the rules, it's just bad form.
-Again I'm in Portland and we go to strip clubs in jeans and t-shirts; I would suggest erring on the side of over-dressing just in case. You don't want to feel uncomfortable. A suit is probably not necessary, but your Saturday yard work clothes are probably not ok.
-Going with a woman is great, actually (I always go with my girlfriend). I mean, it's just less skeezy. I go to the strip club that I frequent because the happy hour is fantastic and a friend of mine is a dancer there - so going with my girl makes me feel like less of a creeper. It's also nice because, unlike many bars, your lady probably won't get hit on that much. All the male attention tends to be directed toward the naked lady on stage. Plus the security tends to be pretty solid - my SO actually feels more comfortable and safer at a strip club than a regular old bar, strangely. Granted, the strip club we frequent is a very laid back place filled mostly with regulars drinking micros.
-There may or may not be a drink minimum. If there is I doubt it's more than 2. Though if you really don't want to drink you can usually talk your way out of the minimum. Just tip the dancers a bit extra.
-Most importantly, just have fun. Don't stress yourselves out of a good time. Contrary to some popular beliefs, strippers are not always forced into the gig because of drugs or some such thing. A lot of them are extremely talented, really enjoy their work and make great money. So just enjoy yourselves. Take time to appreciate the beauty of the human body (I always get a bit Kantian when I go to the strip club), have some good drinks, laugh a lot, don't take it too seriously. It's just naked people. It's pretty silly, actually.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:26 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
This is heavily, and I mean heavily, location dependent.
Interesting; I've never been to a strip club where touching the dancers was in any way even remotely ok - but Justinian is absolutely right in saying that all the rules, customs, etc are really location dependent.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:27 PM on December 9, 2009
Interesting; I've never been to a strip club where touching the dancers was in any way even remotely ok - but Justinian is absolutely right in saying that all the rules, customs, etc are really location dependent.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:27 PM on December 9, 2009
Seconding Lutoslawski's 2nd point: Don't sit next to the stage unless you expect to tip every time. Otherwise you will be yelled at by a bouncer or an especially rowdy dancer.
You will probably get more attention since you're with another woman.
posted by Kloryne at 8:32 PM on December 9, 2009
You will probably get more attention since you're with another woman.
posted by Kloryne at 8:32 PM on December 9, 2009
Well, strip clubs are skeezy... even high-end ones. Bring a wad of ones and embrace the skeeze. You're likely to have a much better time than you did in college because you'll be with a lady and automatically 1000 times less skeezy for strippers. Etiquette-wise, let the singles fly and you're pretty much good.
I think "no touching" rules are more dependent upon municipal/state laws vs. establishment mandate. Generally, dancers can touch you, but you can't touch them (i.e., sit on your hands). If you're in Key West, well, there are no rules. Have fun!
posted by maniactown at 8:36 PM on December 9, 2009
I think "no touching" rules are more dependent upon municipal/state laws vs. establishment mandate. Generally, dancers can touch you, but you can't touch them (i.e., sit on your hands). If you're in Key West, well, there are no rules. Have fun!
posted by maniactown at 8:36 PM on December 9, 2009
Don't sit next to the stage unless you expect to tip every time.
Also don't sit there if you don't want to be the target of specific attention* from the dancers. It's kind of like a comedy club: front row gets picked on. For some people this a plus, others would rather sit back and watch from a distance.
*this includes dancing with various body parts right up in your face, talking to you, trying to talk you into lapdances or private dances, trying to get you to buy them a very pricey drink, etc etc.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:39 PM on December 9, 2009
Also don't sit there if you don't want to be the target of specific attention* from the dancers. It's kind of like a comedy club: front row gets picked on. For some people this a plus, others would rather sit back and watch from a distance.
*this includes dancing with various body parts right up in your face, talking to you, trying to talk you into lapdances or private dances, trying to get you to buy them a very pricey drink, etc etc.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:39 PM on December 9, 2009
You will probably get more attention since you're with another woman.
Oh yeah, (and this is my 3rd answer in this thread so I don't know what that says about me; don't judge), but this is true. Strippers love ladies at the bar - for reasons which I think are pretty obvious. There will probably be a lot of men (here in pdx the ratio is pretty even, but I think this is an enigma) so the girls are a nice and (often more comfortable) attention break from all the dudes, for the dancers. And of course, I hate to say it, the side benefit is that the heavy tipping dudes love it when a naked lady is paying lots of attention to another lady, and they frequently tip more (as if these two ladies were gonna get it on on stage or something - like I said a lot about strip clubs is just silly). So be prepared, but also know that she can politely refuse any unwanted attention from a dancer.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:39 PM on December 9, 2009
Oh and seconding drjimmy's advice (and I will now leave this question!) - if you sit at the stage you will get all sorts of things thrust into your face, you will get asked for private dances (these are the money makers for dancers, often), etc etc, just as drjimmy says. Personally, I never sit at the stage. Granted, I don't go to the strip club for the purpose of closely examining any kind of anatomy (I go there for the cheap micro brews and the friendly atmosphere I swear!), so ymmv. But know that that's what sitting at the stage will get you (of course, if you want the full experience, go ahead and sit for a couple songs at the stage - tip the dancer, tell her she's beautiful and you're having a great time - you're not obligated to do anything further).
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:46 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:46 PM on December 9, 2009
Yeah, do not touch the dancers. If the dancer takes your dollar by grabbing your whole hand with her breasts it is her right and you have to not make assumptions or take liberties.
Bring at least a hundred ones (and that will go fast) and sit up front and tip freely. If a dancer sits with you and the waitress asks if you want to buy Monique a drink chances are she has a minimum obligation of how many drinks she has to have bought for her or it comes out of her purse so buy her one. The ladies also have to "tip out" the bouncers and DJ so it is nice to keep the money flowing. The ladies appreciate customers who are showered, sober and shaved and not scented and who are ready to have a good time in a happy, friendly way.
If a girl comes out on stage to a silent audience it is hard for her so whoop and holler and be appreciative, smile, whistle and have a good time.
Most of the time dancers like couples as they are a break from the routine and often fun but you might want to have a little talk with your sweety about her comfort level when it come to having another woman grab your head and push it into her cleavage.
posted by Iron Rat at 8:51 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Bring at least a hundred ones (and that will go fast) and sit up front and tip freely. If a dancer sits with you and the waitress asks if you want to buy Monique a drink chances are she has a minimum obligation of how many drinks she has to have bought for her or it comes out of her purse so buy her one. The ladies also have to "tip out" the bouncers and DJ so it is nice to keep the money flowing. The ladies appreciate customers who are showered, sober and shaved and not scented and who are ready to have a good time in a happy, friendly way.
If a girl comes out on stage to a silent audience it is hard for her so whoop and holler and be appreciative, smile, whistle and have a good time.
Most of the time dancers like couples as they are a break from the routine and often fun but you might want to have a little talk with your sweety about her comfort level when it come to having another woman grab your head and push it into her cleavage.
posted by Iron Rat at 8:51 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
What is it that you're hoping to get out of this? Make sure you're all on the same page.
I've only been in a few but when in Vegas an old boss took me to a very, very expensive place and when you went "upstairs" there was a lot of liberty in terms of touching the dancers. A lot. There was even another more upscale room we didn't go to. Can't imagine what happened in there.
But frankly, sex-positive as I like to think I am, I was skeeved out. I knew for a fact that the stunning russian woman in front of me wasn't dying to get with me and it killed it. I felt a pressure to do things I really didn't want to do because my boss had paid a real lot of money to go upstairs. The only part I really liked was having drinks with the girls and chatting later. That was fun and we talked about boyfriend problems and relationships and all that.
I'd be prepared for weird stuff and take it easy the first time.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:56 PM on December 9, 2009
I've only been in a few but when in Vegas an old boss took me to a very, very expensive place and when you went "upstairs" there was a lot of liberty in terms of touching the dancers. A lot. There was even another more upscale room we didn't go to. Can't imagine what happened in there.
But frankly, sex-positive as I like to think I am, I was skeeved out. I knew for a fact that the stunning russian woman in front of me wasn't dying to get with me and it killed it. I felt a pressure to do things I really didn't want to do because my boss had paid a real lot of money to go upstairs. The only part I really liked was having drinks with the girls and chatting later. That was fun and we talked about boyfriend problems and relationships and all that.
I'd be prepared for weird stuff and take it easy the first time.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:56 PM on December 9, 2009
I've been to SR clubs in SoCal but not the Dallas one. Since you're going when they're having a feature dancer pr0n chick, expect a hefty cover and it to be crowded.
Dallas used to be what the pervs would call a "high mileage" town in terms of the kind of contact you'd get in a lap dance. The usual rule of you don't touch but the dancer can will usually be in effect. If a dancer does allow touching, she'll guide you. If not, keep your hands to yourself unless you want to be ejected from the club. Your wife could probably get more frisky with a dancer than you ever could. A private dance can be up to $25/a song for a non-feature dancer. If you sit in a booth or at a table, women will walk the floor and some may approach you for a dance. Some ladies will be pretty aggressive. If you're not interested just politely tell her no.
Don't sit at the stage, you can sit near the stage to get a good view but still not be in the spotlight of the dancer and other patrons. If there's a dancer you and/or your wife really want to tip, there's usually a part of the stage where guys will walk up to dip the girl. You get a hug and or a grind near you and a chance to put a dollar into her g-string (assuming they haven't changed the laws recently).
Money rules in the strip club so the guys that "make it rain" for the dancers will get the most attention. Bring more money than you think you'd need. The clubs will take credit cards but you should pay in cash when you can. There are ATMs in the club but the fees are obscene (something like $8+ whatever your bank charges you for not using one of their ATMs.)
There's usually no minimum drink requirement, but patrons are expected to drink while they're there. You should tip the bartender/waitress what you would in any other bar. Tip more liberally and you'll get better service. Drinks are more expensive so drink slow. Even a Coke and be $6.00+.
If things go well and you and your wife do get turned on, do not get all frisky with each other in the club. If the vice squad happen to be there, you could be hauled off for doing lewd things in public. It would also be pretty embarrassing if the police knocked on your steamed up windows in the parking lot as well. Save it for home.
posted by birdherder at 9:12 PM on December 9, 2009
Dallas used to be what the pervs would call a "high mileage" town in terms of the kind of contact you'd get in a lap dance. The usual rule of you don't touch but the dancer can will usually be in effect. If a dancer does allow touching, she'll guide you. If not, keep your hands to yourself unless you want to be ejected from the club. Your wife could probably get more frisky with a dancer than you ever could. A private dance can be up to $25/a song for a non-feature dancer. If you sit in a booth or at a table, women will walk the floor and some may approach you for a dance. Some ladies will be pretty aggressive. If you're not interested just politely tell her no.
Don't sit at the stage, you can sit near the stage to get a good view but still not be in the spotlight of the dancer and other patrons. If there's a dancer you and/or your wife really want to tip, there's usually a part of the stage where guys will walk up to dip the girl. You get a hug and or a grind near you and a chance to put a dollar into her g-string (assuming they haven't changed the laws recently).
Money rules in the strip club so the guys that "make it rain" for the dancers will get the most attention. Bring more money than you think you'd need. The clubs will take credit cards but you should pay in cash when you can. There are ATMs in the club but the fees are obscene (something like $8+ whatever your bank charges you for not using one of their ATMs.)
There's usually no minimum drink requirement, but patrons are expected to drink while they're there. You should tip the bartender/waitress what you would in any other bar. Tip more liberally and you'll get better service. Drinks are more expensive so drink slow. Even a Coke and be $6.00+.
If things go well and you and your wife do get turned on, do not get all frisky with each other in the club. If the vice squad happen to be there, you could be hauled off for doing lewd things in public. It would also be pretty embarrassing if the police knocked on your steamed up windows in the parking lot as well. Save it for home.
posted by birdherder at 9:12 PM on December 9, 2009
Your wife should be aware that when she goes to the bathroom, she is most likely going to be going through the dancers' dressing room and using that. It is awkward, but also illuminating and fascinating.
My understanding is that mens' rooms in nicer clubs are fancy, with attendants handing you towels and whatnot. But I've been in really nice clubs, and I've always had to powder my nose in the dressing room.
posted by padraigin at 10:22 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
My understanding is that mens' rooms in nicer clubs are fancy, with attendants handing you towels and whatnot. But I've been in really nice clubs, and I've always had to powder my nose in the dressing room.
posted by padraigin at 10:22 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
We're going because the headliner is a popular adult star, and we figured this was as good a time as any to try it out.
Actually, I would recommend against that. You don't know what kind of crowd she will specifically attract. You should go on an otherwise normal Friday or Saturday night, and see if you can avoid weekends when there are conventions or big events in town, such as a Cowboys home game.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:24 PM on December 9, 2009
Actually, I would recommend against that. You don't know what kind of crowd she will specifically attract. You should go on an otherwise normal Friday or Saturday night, and see if you can avoid weekends when there are conventions or big events in town, such as a Cowboys home game.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:24 PM on December 9, 2009
I suggest that your wife not dress sexy. She'll get the wrong kind of attention if she looks like a dancer and some of the high-end clubs require the "girls" look dressy on the floor. You should both dress as if you were going to a nice dinner rather than a bar. If you aren't sitting at the stage let your wife do the tipping. It's fun for the dancer, the other customers, and both of you. If you sit at the stage you should both tip. No making out/feeling up in the club. Bring at least $50 (if not $100) in ones. The presence of a big name feature will make the bar really crowded so wear comfortable shoes in case there are no vacant tables near the stage. Enjoy!
posted by irisclara at 11:25 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by irisclara at 11:25 PM on December 9, 2009
Just go to have fun. Seriously - if you're not going in with the mindset some guys have ('I'm going to woo the stripper with my generosity), it's a lot easier to step back, enjoy the show of flesh / theatre, and leave without breaking the bank. Drink, throw some ones, and be merry. Just understand that everywhere you turn there will be someone trying to extract money from you (bathroom attendant, bartender, stripper, even the DJ) - that's part of the ambiance I guess.
BTW, if you're expecting your lady to be aroused in the same way you are, ask her if she's going to be looking at the same things. Chances are she's not - but she's game to let you have your fun. Enjoy the show - then take it home for the night.
posted by chrisinseoul at 12:47 AM on December 10, 2009
BTW, if you're expecting your lady to be aroused in the same way you are, ask her if she's going to be looking at the same things. Chances are she's not - but she's game to let you have your fun. Enjoy the show - then take it home for the night.
posted by chrisinseoul at 12:47 AM on December 10, 2009
I've been once with my husband and we had a great time. I was the only female customer in the place and the girls were very nice and attentive to me.
The one thing I wish I'd known going in: if you really like a girl and want her to hang with you, tip well! We got a "couples" lap dance from a very nice and sexy girl who I liked a lot. I made the mistake of letting my husband take care of the tip. He handed her $10 (for a $100 dance) and after we got downstairs she sweetly thanked us and quickly buzzed off for more lucrative prospects. Later I went solo for a lap dance with another girl and gave her $20 for a dance that was maybe $60 (probably a bit too big a tip, but oh well, considering the way we were throwing money around that night.) This girl was prepared to be my date for the night. Heh.
This particular club was pretty liberal with the touching during lap dances. We were basically told "no kissing and no touch kitty" but everything else was a go.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:49 AM on December 10, 2009
The one thing I wish I'd known going in: if you really like a girl and want her to hang with you, tip well! We got a "couples" lap dance from a very nice and sexy girl who I liked a lot. I made the mistake of letting my husband take care of the tip. He handed her $10 (for a $100 dance) and after we got downstairs she sweetly thanked us and quickly buzzed off for more lucrative prospects. Later I went solo for a lap dance with another girl and gave her $20 for a dance that was maybe $60 (probably a bit too big a tip, but oh well, considering the way we were throwing money around that night.) This girl was prepared to be my date for the night. Heh.
This particular club was pretty liberal with the touching during lap dances. We were basically told "no kissing and no touch kitty" but everything else was a go.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:49 AM on December 10, 2009
I live in a different country, so it may be quite different here - I don't know. But we do have Spearmint Rhino, and I have been to it.
I've been with guys, I've been with girls and yes, I've been on my own.
Legally, patrons are not allowed to touch the girls here. But... some girls are willing to flirt the law once they feel they can trust the patron not to go overboard. It really is up to her... follow her lead.
When I've been with a female partner, I myself have got hardly any attention, but my partner has gotten HEAPS of attention from the dancers.
And as someone above said, if you and your partner get turned on, don't start getting frisky with each other - you will get thrown out. I won't go into details, but I got quite steamy with a female friend when I was there once and the girl on stage leaned down to us and said "You're gonna have to stop that, or I'll have to get security to throw you out".
And from what I've seen, they don't like female patrons distracting attention from the dancers. Don't let you wife start doing a sexy dance in the middle of the room. I've seen people thrown out for that too.
Respect the girls, and they'll show you a good time (usually - some are crap, frankly. But I'm guessing they don't last long). You are their revenue stream, and they want reliable, safe, repeat business. A couple is a good prospect for them. Respect them, and they will respect you.
posted by Diag at 5:14 AM on December 10, 2009
I've been with guys, I've been with girls and yes, I've been on my own.
Legally, patrons are not allowed to touch the girls here. But... some girls are willing to flirt the law once they feel they can trust the patron not to go overboard. It really is up to her... follow her lead.
When I've been with a female partner, I myself have got hardly any attention, but my partner has gotten HEAPS of attention from the dancers.
And as someone above said, if you and your partner get turned on, don't start getting frisky with each other - you will get thrown out. I won't go into details, but I got quite steamy with a female friend when I was there once and the girl on stage leaned down to us and said "You're gonna have to stop that, or I'll have to get security to throw you out".
And from what I've seen, they don't like female patrons distracting attention from the dancers. Don't let you wife start doing a sexy dance in the middle of the room. I've seen people thrown out for that too.
Respect the girls, and they'll show you a good time (usually - some are crap, frankly. But I'm guessing they don't last long). You are their revenue stream, and they want reliable, safe, repeat business. A couple is a good prospect for them. Respect them, and they will respect you.
posted by Diag at 5:14 AM on December 10, 2009
Oh, I guess I should cover the basics, as they are here at least.
There will usually be 4 or 6 or so girls on the stage and on podiums. If you're sitting right up at the stage or podium, you should tip (most don't though). We don't have $1 bills here, so $5 is pretty much the minimum. I won't sit at the stage unless I am really keen, then I will tip $20, and I then get a lot of attention - basically fully nude, all over me. But that's just me - I don't do it often. I hate the spotlight. heh
But when the girls are off stage, they will trawl the crowd trying to get punters for "private dances" or lap dances, in a more private room. These run from maybe $20 for one song, to $50 or even $70 for 3 songs. Then they'll ask you if you want to go again.
Here, we don't generally tip on top of what we've paid for a lap dance, but tipping etiquette is very different here in general.
Prices are in Australian dollars (which are currently pretty close to $US), but YMMV.
posted by Diag at 5:33 AM on December 10, 2009
There will usually be 4 or 6 or so girls on the stage and on podiums. If you're sitting right up at the stage or podium, you should tip (most don't though). We don't have $1 bills here, so $5 is pretty much the minimum. I won't sit at the stage unless I am really keen, then I will tip $20, and I then get a lot of attention - basically fully nude, all over me. But that's just me - I don't do it often. I hate the spotlight. heh
But when the girls are off stage, they will trawl the crowd trying to get punters for "private dances" or lap dances, in a more private room. These run from maybe $20 for one song, to $50 or even $70 for 3 songs. Then they'll ask you if you want to go again.
Here, we don't generally tip on top of what we've paid for a lap dance, but tipping etiquette is very different here in general.
Prices are in Australian dollars (which are currently pretty close to $US), but YMMV.
posted by Diag at 5:33 AM on December 10, 2009
I've agreed that if she (or I, for that matter) start feeling skeeved out, we'll bolt. Any ways to avoid that?
Nope. Make the most of your 15 minutes.
posted by xammerboy at 7:03 AM on December 10, 2009
Nope. Make the most of your 15 minutes.
posted by xammerboy at 7:03 AM on December 10, 2009
I used to manage a gentlemen's club in Dallas, and before that was a bartender at the same club. Granted, this was years and years ago, but I still have friends in the industry, and have popped into a few of the local clubs to see friends, or/and talent scout for other friends who own clubs.
1.) Dallas does not have nude dancing in clubs with booze.
2.) Dallas is primarily a no-touch town in high end clubs.
3.) Dallas vice squads will be in full attendance on nights when national acts, especially porn stars are performing.
4.) I wouldn't make my "first time" a night with a national act. The club will be ridiculously crowded, the cover charge will be double, and the odds are that drink prices and other service fees (like lap dances) will be raised. Also, the skeeve factor of the audience goes through the roof, and the other dancers are likely to be grumpy because it's a crowd of morons that don't know the rules who will be trying to touch their ass. National act nights are a nightmare for the people who work the club regularly.
5.) If at the stage, tip each dancer for each song. If you don't want to spend 6-12 every 10 minutes, sit somewhere other than the stage. Generally couples can get a really good table. Club managers LOVE to see couples come in. They, the servers and the dancers will go out of their way to be friendly. Not aggressive friendly, but really friendly.
Dallas has some of the friendliest dancers and clubs in the world, but they are even more friendly towards couples, especially if the woman is not dressed to "compete" with them. However, if you guys are dressed for kink, or dressed like people in the industry, your welcome will not be nearly as friendly, because they'll assume you're working the room. You don't want that.
When I go scouting, I wear a conservative black dress, with subtle accessories, an up-do and understated makeup. My companion on these trips wears an Armani/equally well tailored suit. We're also old enough that nobody is likely to think that we're soliciting for "customers", if you know what I mean.
My point is, don't look like you're either there to audition, or that you're there to "escort".
Lap dances start at around $20 per song, but can go as high as $100 for a set from high caliber talent. It is customary, in Dallas, to tip if it was a good lap dance, and not a mechanical wagging of the butt while she scopes the room for the next mark. A woman getting a lap dance will often get a lot more contact than a man would. If your wife isn't comfortable with that, she should make that clear. I generally don't get lap dances because I don't like people touching me. Especially sweating, glitter covered people. Leaves glitter on the dress, doncha know.
Dallas clubs do generally have a drink minimum, but it doesn't have to be booze. Keep in mind that non-alcohol drinks are not generally any less expensive than a well drink. Bottles of good wine are often available, and may prove to be the best fiscal option, as long as you're not drinking the overpriced sparkling wine.
Dancers are generally discouraged from drinking while dancing, except when selling "champagne", but I've seen a whole lot of $8.00 club sodas with sweet and sour or other cloudy mixes go across my bar. Just FYI. Buying drinks for dancers is a sucker's game. If you want to buy one a drink, give her $10 instead.
There is no way to save money in a gentlemen's club. At a good club, like the one you are considering, plan on dropping a few hundred dollars for a couple of hours in the club. I've seen people drop a thousand dollars in a night. It's surprisingly easy to do. I recommend that newbies avoid opening a tab, it's too easy to lose track of what you're spending. It's like Vegas; define what you're going to spend and take that much cash with you.
Most important: Have fun! Dallas dancers are fantastic, the high end clubs are magnificent, and of all the cities in the world where I've been to these types of clubs, I think I prefer Dallas over all of them.
posted by dejah420 at 7:22 AM on December 10, 2009 [4 favorites]
1.) Dallas does not have nude dancing in clubs with booze.
2.) Dallas is primarily a no-touch town in high end clubs.
3.) Dallas vice squads will be in full attendance on nights when national acts, especially porn stars are performing.
4.) I wouldn't make my "first time" a night with a national act. The club will be ridiculously crowded, the cover charge will be double, and the odds are that drink prices and other service fees (like lap dances) will be raised. Also, the skeeve factor of the audience goes through the roof, and the other dancers are likely to be grumpy because it's a crowd of morons that don't know the rules who will be trying to touch their ass. National act nights are a nightmare for the people who work the club regularly.
5.) If at the stage, tip each dancer for each song. If you don't want to spend 6-12 every 10 minutes, sit somewhere other than the stage. Generally couples can get a really good table. Club managers LOVE to see couples come in. They, the servers and the dancers will go out of their way to be friendly. Not aggressive friendly, but really friendly.
Dallas has some of the friendliest dancers and clubs in the world, but they are even more friendly towards couples, especially if the woman is not dressed to "compete" with them. However, if you guys are dressed for kink, or dressed like people in the industry, your welcome will not be nearly as friendly, because they'll assume you're working the room. You don't want that.
When I go scouting, I wear a conservative black dress, with subtle accessories, an up-do and understated makeup. My companion on these trips wears an Armani/equally well tailored suit. We're also old enough that nobody is likely to think that we're soliciting for "customers", if you know what I mean.
My point is, don't look like you're either there to audition, or that you're there to "escort".
Lap dances start at around $20 per song, but can go as high as $100 for a set from high caliber talent. It is customary, in Dallas, to tip if it was a good lap dance, and not a mechanical wagging of the butt while she scopes the room for the next mark. A woman getting a lap dance will often get a lot more contact than a man would. If your wife isn't comfortable with that, she should make that clear. I generally don't get lap dances because I don't like people touching me. Especially sweating, glitter covered people. Leaves glitter on the dress, doncha know.
Dallas clubs do generally have a drink minimum, but it doesn't have to be booze. Keep in mind that non-alcohol drinks are not generally any less expensive than a well drink. Bottles of good wine are often available, and may prove to be the best fiscal option, as long as you're not drinking the overpriced sparkling wine.
Dancers are generally discouraged from drinking while dancing, except when selling "champagne", but I've seen a whole lot of $8.00 club sodas with sweet and sour or other cloudy mixes go across my bar. Just FYI. Buying drinks for dancers is a sucker's game. If you want to buy one a drink, give her $10 instead.
There is no way to save money in a gentlemen's club. At a good club, like the one you are considering, plan on dropping a few hundred dollars for a couple of hours in the club. I've seen people drop a thousand dollars in a night. It's surprisingly easy to do. I recommend that newbies avoid opening a tab, it's too easy to lose track of what you're spending. It's like Vegas; define what you're going to spend and take that much cash with you.
Most important: Have fun! Dallas dancers are fantastic, the high end clubs are magnificent, and of all the cities in the world where I've been to these types of clubs, I think I prefer Dallas over all of them.
posted by dejah420 at 7:22 AM on December 10, 2009 [4 favorites]
I feel terrible now. My husband and I never tip on top of the price of a lap dance. I just figured all the money from the dance was going to the woman anyway. I mean, if it was really awesome, we might give her a little more, but in general I didn't know tipping was expected.
posted by Evangeline at 8:00 AM on December 10, 2009
posted by Evangeline at 8:00 AM on December 10, 2009
I used to room with a good friend who worked as a stripper, so I passed your question along to her. The single piece of advice she had was "Remember that the girls are at work, and treat them like it. The good time might not be faked -- I loved that job -- but still, when my shift was up, I went home, you know?"
So there you have it. The ladies are probably having a genuinely good time; they're doing a hard but reasonably appealing job, and they're getting paid well for it. But they're working. Pay 'em and treat 'em with respect.
posted by KathrynT at 9:14 AM on December 10, 2009
So there you have it. The ladies are probably having a genuinely good time; they're doing a hard but reasonably appealing job, and they're getting paid well for it. But they're working. Pay 'em and treat 'em with respect.
posted by KathrynT at 9:14 AM on December 10, 2009
Usually, you're not allowed to touch the dancers.
Usually, you're not allowed to touch the dancers in view of the bouncers. The amount of touching when out of view of the bouncers is a matter for the dancer to decide. Some will let you; some won't. It often depends on how much $$ you're spending.
From what I can tell, it's a pretty classy joint.
If it's anything like the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas, it may be slightly more upscale than your local strip joint, but classy it ain't.
Take a bunch of $1's for the stage dancers. If you sit at the stage, tip at least $1 per dancer per dance. Tip $1 per drink. If one of the girls sits with you (and they almost certainly will, especially since you'll have a woman with you), buy her a drink as well -- this will usually be a coke or or water or something, and will cost $8, or some other ridiculous price.
I'm not big on strip clubs, but when I go, I ALWAYS go with women. It's way more fun because you get tons of attention without spending tons of money.
Like others above, I would also recommend NOT going on a night when a porn star is there. It will be a totally different vibe, and not necessarily in a good way.
posted by coolguymichael at 1:01 PM on December 10, 2009
Usually, you're not allowed to touch the dancers in view of the bouncers. The amount of touching when out of view of the bouncers is a matter for the dancer to decide. Some will let you; some won't. It often depends on how much $$ you're spending.
From what I can tell, it's a pretty classy joint.
If it's anything like the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas, it may be slightly more upscale than your local strip joint, but classy it ain't.
Take a bunch of $1's for the stage dancers. If you sit at the stage, tip at least $1 per dancer per dance. Tip $1 per drink. If one of the girls sits with you (and they almost certainly will, especially since you'll have a woman with you), buy her a drink as well -- this will usually be a coke or or water or something, and will cost $8, or some other ridiculous price.
I'm not big on strip clubs, but when I go, I ALWAYS go with women. It's way more fun because you get tons of attention without spending tons of money.
Like others above, I would also recommend NOT going on a night when a porn star is there. It will be a totally different vibe, and not necessarily in a good way.
posted by coolguymichael at 1:01 PM on December 10, 2009
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posted by biochemist at 8:06 PM on December 9, 2009